Jessica’s POV

 

I woke up in the morning with a headache that felt horrible. I skipped school, and from what my maid said – so did Siwon. I don’t know why she told me, but I listened anyway. She also said that I was to meet up with him and his parents tonight to discuss the engagement. My dad will be there too – but through a video call because he’s not allowed out of hospital until a few more weeks.

 

When the maid brought in the food I sighed. It was my favourite but I didn’t have the appetite. I could only think about yesterday. When I thought back to what Donghae said to me, a small part of me wishes he said he didn’t like me at all. It would have been easier. However, the majority of me will get giddy when I think back about it.

 

Then when I think that I’ll be engaged to Siwon scares me, I don’t want to break it off with Donghae.

 

---

 

I got dressed for the dinner with Siwon and his parents.

 

Outfit: http://i.ysi.bz/Assets/GalleryImage/18/834/L_g0012783418.jpg

 

I think this will do, I’m still 17 – there’s nothing wrong with dressing young. Plus, it’s an outdoor dinner.

 

-

 

I arrived at the restaurant with my laptop open. I saw Siwon sitting down and I made my way over. Placing the laptop so we could all see my dad, we exchanged greetings.

 

Deep inside, I didn’t want to do this but this mess was caused by me in first place. It’s a life and death situation, I’d rather have both parents than just my mum. I need a man in my life that’s not there for a love-love relationship with me

 

“Jessica, are you really sure you’re going to accept this engagement?” Siwon’s mum said.

 

I nodded, “I’m sure. Ever since I met Siwon I could sense myself changing. I didn’t speak a lot, now I speak a lot more, I didn’t smile before and now I do, neither do I like laughing but I do now.” I just told the truth, really. It’s true that after I met Siwon, this happened – but he wasn’t the reason behind it.

 

“I’m so happy for you both!” Siwon’s dad said in unison with mine.

 

I smiled awkwardly at Siwon. He knew that the person behind it wasn’t him, and was instead Donghae. Did he learn to accept he won’t be his competitor?

 

“Well, I disagree. I’m not going to get engaged with her.” Siwon said.

 

I glared at him. How dare he reject me!

 

“I want to speak to Jessica privately first before I say yes to this, may I?” He looked at all four of us. They were all too shocked for words so I just took the initiative and got up.

 

-

 

Siwon’s POV

 

We found silence near the back door. It heart my heart to see Jessica like this, she was sacrificing herself for her father.

 

“Jessica, tell me the truth. What happened to your plan of getting Donghae to fall for you, then getting the truth about what happened to your brother, then leaving him there and returning to California without words?” I asked. I really hoped she wouldn’t answer it; I was digging my hearts grave.

 

“I never wanted to go through with it, Chaeyoung unnie forced me to.” She said, quietly.

 

“Who’s Chaeyoung?” I asked.

 

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how you found out about this?” She said.

 

How do I tell her that I did a background search on her? Paid people to follow her around like dogs finding drugs?

 

“I can read your mind, there. Now tell me.”

 

She scoffed. “That’s a typical Choi Siwon answer, should have expected it. Chaeyoung was Yunho’s bride-to-be.”

 

“How did you find out Donghae had anything to do with it?”

 

“Well, since you apparently read my mind you wouldn’t know how I did that. I choked it out of one my friend’s boyfriend back in California.”

 

If I was drinking, I would have choked. “You choked it out?” I said, slightly shouting.

 

“No, not really. I’d be arrested. Don’t worry about how I did it. Just marry me till my dad dies or something, and then we can get divorced and live our lives normally.”

 

It broke my heart again listening to her saying that. “You really like Donghae don’t you? I’ll marry you, on one condition.”

 

“Like what?”

 

I slightly touched my phone, clicked on the 2 button and pressed call.

 

//

 

Donghae picked up his phone, it was Siwon. “Hello? Hello?” He then heard Siwon speaking but it wasn’t to him.

 

//

 

I didn’t want to do this Jessica, I’m sorry.

 

“One, we will leave Seoul to somewhere in this world after the school term ends. In fact, before if you break Donghae’s heart.”

 

Jessica was quiet. Please, make the right choice. “We’ll leave without Donghae knowing, right? I don’t want him to get hurt.”

 

“Neither do I, he’s a good man – I told you that already. Now you go out, I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

 

Jessica turned her back on me. When I was sure she was out of sight, I took my phone out and held it to my ears. I gulped.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hello?” I heard Donghae’s voice crack on the other side.

 

“I thought you deserved to hear that.” I said. I really did.

 

“That wasn’t Jessica was it? That couldn’t be. She’s never marrying you, she would never leave me. She wouldn’t.” He kept on repeating his words.

 

A tear drop fell from my eye. The first time I cry, and it was because I didn’t want to hurt a friend I met for four days.

 

“Ask her for yourself, but the quicker you are – the quicker we leave.”

 

I hung up and made my way to Jessica, her dad and my parents.

 

“I’ll marry her.” I said, blandly when I reached the table.

 

 

---

 

Jessica’s POV

 

When I reached home I ran into my room, I sat myself on the floor – leaning against my bed. What was I doing? What was I really doing? Why am I risking so much for Lee Donghae? I’m supposed to hate him but I can’t find the hate I once had for him. I could feel warm tears falling down my cheeks quickly. I last cried at Yunho’s funeral like this. They strolled down my face uncontrollably.

 

What has Donghae done to me? What am I doing to him? As childish as it sounds, I have fallen in love within five days. Siwon, you’re not that smart. I knew he had called someone, I could hear his phone keys. I don’t know when they exchanged numbers, but my best bet would be Donghae that was listening to the class/

 

At that time, my phone rang.

 

It was Donghae. I picked up. “Hello?”

 

“Hello, it’s me. Donghae.” He said.

 

“I know.” I refrained from speaking too much; I didn’t want him to tell I was crying through my voice.

 

“What would you do if Siwon forced you to get married with him? Tell me the truth about what you would do.”

 

Siwon definitely called him.

 

I wiped my tears and took a deep breath and breathed out.

 

“The truth?” I asked.

 

“Yeah, the truth. No lies, don’t tell me lies.”

 

I forced a smile. “Siwon would never force marriage on me; he didn’t force engagement on me so he wouldn’t with marriage. If he did though and I can’t do anything about… then I’ll marry him. He would have my body, but he would have my heart, mind and soul. Only one guy has it.”

 

I bit my lips to stop crying. Jessica Jung, get a hold of yourself!

 

“Oh, well. Bye.” He hung up.

 

Donghae, I just wanted you to know – that was the truth. From the bottom of my heart. No matter how much it hurt us both… like everyone says. The truth hurts. It really does. You Donghae, have my heart, mind and soul – I hope you realise that.

 

-

 

Donghae’s POV

 

I hung up and threw my phone against the door; I got up from the floor and threw my table and just anything in sight all over the place. My brother charged in.

 

“Donghae, what happened?”

 

I looked up at him, I cried. I could only cry. “Hyung, what do you do when you know someone you love just told you straight over the phone to you that they’d leave you without regrets in other words?”

 

He hugged me and cooled me down but the thought of Jessica telling the truth when I said not to hurt me so much. She didn’t say she’d leave me, but she’d marry him. I don’t care if he hasn’t got her damn heart, mind or soul. I don’t know who actually has that. It’s definitely not me.

 

 

---

 

Jessica’s POV

 

I was on a morning stroll, I couldn’t sleep at all. I got back at noon after having breakfast outside.

 

I walked to the living room and saw the figure of a girl sitting on the sofa. She turned back. Tiffany. It was Tiffany.

 

“What are you doing here?” I asked her.

 

“I made up with Kyle,” She said and smiled. That smile made my heart wrench.

 

“That didn’t answer my question.” I said, coldly. I can’t let her see the soft side of me again because it’ll only cause us both pain.

 

“I’m here for a month long holiday with my daddy.”

 

“Oh. Cool.”

 

“I’ll get going; I just thought I’d say hi as soon as I arrived.” She said.

 

I moved out her way and let her leave on her own.

 

---

 

It was Thursday morning; I sat in homeroom waiting for Miss Kwon to come in. I sat beside this boy called Kibum who was my partner for the English homework and we went over our biography about each other. It was due in for first period and we needed to just check it again.

 

Donghae hadn’t come in for the past three days, Miss Kwon said he called in sick but he didn’t text me or any of his friends about what happened. He didn’t know that I knew he knew what was going on and neither did he even know the full story, but I know for sure he believed what I said on the phone. He simply just took it in the wrong way, as if I’d betrayed him already.

 

Sunny poked my head, I glared at her. “I’ve still got the bandage on, it hurts!” I said.

 

She apologised.

 

“It’s alright. I’m just moody. I’m sorry.”

 

Miss Kwon came in and class began when the bell rang.

 

-

 

At lunch I had to head to the reception. Apparently I had a guest waiting for me in the waiting room.

 

I walked inside after getting directions from a random member of staff.

 

Chaeyoung.

 

“Hey, Jessica!” She said as she came up to hug me tightly. She pulled me to a seat and then closed the door. She closed the curtains too, and then locked the door.

 

She glared at me. “What do you think you’re playing at?” She said, in a calm manner. Too calm.

 

“He said he doesn’t know any Jung Yunho.” I said, calmly too.

 

“And you believe him? He could be lying for all you know!” She raised her voice.

 

“This is a public building, people are outside – they can hear.” I said.

 

“Don’t change the topic; don’t tell me you like him.” She said.

 

“What were you expecting? I’m some ice cold person inside and out that don’t fall in love?” I said, starting to get annoyed.

 

“I didn’t think. You are. You do know that your brother died because you was late, if you wasn’t late – it wouldn’t have had happened!” She shouted.

 

“You, shut the hell up. I’m leaving.” I was agitated.

 

I unlocked the door and left, leaving the school without permission.

 

-

 

I stormed around the streets and unknowingly was at Donghae’s neighbourhood. I walked right through it and a voice called for me.

 

“JESSICA!”

 

I turned back, it was Donghae. Only when I saw him I realised it was raining quite heavy. I walked towards him, so did he but his steps looked messy. As if he couldn’t walk straight.

 

I walked faster in case he fell or something. When I reached him, I stopped about an arm length’s distance. He noticed it.

 

“I’ll give you one chance, if Siwon forces you to marry him, will you marry him and leave?” He asked. I felt the tears welling up already, my heart felt heavy the longer he stared at me. Thankfully it was raining, but he looked ill. It was now or never, I can’t stand to do this any longer.

 

“Yes, I would. I know you heard the conversation between me and Siwon, accept the fact that it’s the end of us, Donghae. It’s the end.”

 

He was crying, but forcing a smile. It was killing me slowly seeing him force the smile out.

 

“I thought so… you lied when you said you liked me, wait – you might have… but it wasn’t love.” He said, weakly.

 

It was Love, Donghae. It was love. I want to tell you that, I really do – but I’m scared of the consequences.

 

“He didn’t force marriage on me, I forced it on him. I wanted to marry him on my own free will – if it means I betrayed you then I did.”

 

I quickly ran off leaving him there, I did not want to see what was going behind me when I heard his brother calling for him and for me to come back.

 

-

 

Donghae’s POV

 

She finally said it, but my headache was getting to me. The fever was not getting better.

 

I called for her with Donghwa, I called hard for her but she didn’t look back once and kept on running. She abandoned me here. She abandoned me.

 

Here was me, pathetically ill – calling for a girl who no longer holds an interest in me to come back. Pathetic. I could have died out here and she wouldn’t have cared.

 

My brother pulled me back in.

 

But deep down in my heart, I hope she gets home quickly – because it’s pouring heavy out there.

 

-

 

Jessica’s POV

 

I took a deep breath. I remembered the image of him struggling to walk to me, his pale face, his pale lips…

 

My legs turned me the other way round, and I was running the direction to where he was but he was gone.

 

I kneeled down.

 

“What’s wrong with me… what’s really wrong with me?” I cried in-between my knees and felt a tap on my shoulder.

 

I moved my wet hair that got stuck to my face out the way and saw Siwon.

 

“Siwon, can you book two one way plane tickets for us to somewhere… anywhere far from here?” I said, before losing my consciousness.

 

 

---

 

When I woke up I was in the same room I was in last week. I got up and saw Siwon at the desk.

 

“What are you doing?” I asked. My voice was going, probably from crying in the rain. I felt all hot all over.

 

He got up quickly when he realised I was beside me, pick her up off the floor - bridal style – and laid me on the bed again. “You’ve got a fever, I suggest you stay there. I’m just doing homework.” He explained.

 

I didn’t have the strength to argue so I just did as he said. Although it felt awkward when he held me bridal style, I wonder how it would be if he was Donghae. Nah, Siwon’s more masculine. Donghae’s boney-ish.

 

“What about the plane tickets?” I asked.

 

“They’ll arrive tomorrow in the post, you can stay overnight. I’ll call in sick for you tomorrow so you get to hold them first.” He chuckled.

 

He’s not that bad for a friend.

 

I smiled. “Thanks, but how much did you buy?”

 

“Four.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Well, I supposed you wouldn’t leave your dad and maid here on their own, right?” He said.

 

“What if I wanted to leave everything and just die?” I said, looking at the ceiling.

 

“Then I’ll be with you, I won’t ever be a part of your ‘everything’ that you’d leave. You’ll never part with me.” He ended off with an evil laugh.

 

I laughed as well.

 

“Nice humour.” I said before closing my eyes. Although I took it as a joke, I know deep inside I hurt him saying that… he was serious.

 

-

 

I woke up the next morning and opened the door in the room. Siwon creeped up behind me which caused me to fall as I opened the door. I fell into a bathroom.

 

“You can use this bathroom.” He said, while kneeling down to help me up. “Oh, and your phone! I’ve got to head off, check the desk when you need help. I stayed up thinking of that!”

 

“Where you going?” I held onto the side of the door to keep myself balanced.

 

“School, it’s a Friday.” He shouted from downstairs.

 

-

 

I sat at his desk and read what he had written after I got bored of watching TV.

 

‘Actually, I spent all night thinking about this… and I couldn’t think of anything.’

 

I smiled, he’s such a dork but now that I was on my own without someone to distract my thoughts… my mind automatically wondered to Donghae.

 

I hope he’s alright, I wonder how he is… I pulled out my phone. It was ringing, a call from Eunhyuk.

 

“Hello?”

 

“sdmfksdnglsdfnhfnhoftnjfd” A lot of loud noise came through, I pulled the phone away from my ear and put it on hands free.

 

“Whoa, what’s going on? Calm down!” I shouted through the phone.

 

“Oh, sorry! Everyone was just wondering what happened to you and Donghae. You’re both not in! You’re not skipping to be together are you?” Kyuhyun said.

 

I didn’t know how to respond.

 

“Eh, I just caught a fever from yesterday’s rain…”

 

A lot of muffled noise came through again.

 

“Wait, one at a time. Kyuhyun, you speak.”

 

“Oh, we were just saying that we knew you two were together. We called Donghae and he said that he had a terrible fever from the rain yesterday. Play safe, kids!” With that, he hung up on me.

 

Donghae had a fever as well; he probably had it for the previous few days ago well. I wanted to call him, but if I did – I‘d only hurt him more. I can’t do that.

 

Then my phone rang again, it was Tiffany.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hello? Hey, it’s me Tiffany. I’m glad you didn’t change your number.” She said, cheerfully but her line went quiet soon.

 

“You there?”

 

“Yeah, uhmm I need to meet up with you but I’m really busy so could we need on say the 22^nd of September? At your house?” Her voice was serious.

 

“Yeah, of course. My plane doesn’t fly to Spain until 2am on the 24^th. We can. What time?” I said, it’d probably our last meeting. I couldn’t reject her.

 

“At about 7pm or something, just be home that day. Okay?” She said.

 

“Alright, bye…”

 

She hung up. I sighed and ended up sleeping on the table.

 

---

 

It’s been more than a month since me and Donghae last spoke, our friends got the idea we had a huge argument – but not break up. They weren’t able to get that. Or maybe they did, I don’t know. They didn’t bring it up or make it a big deal like when they realised we had an argument, or when I had a bandage around my head.

 

However, me and Donghae didn’t exchange any words or glances. We avoided each other at all costs. I tried to keep away from him and our friends. Generally avoiding anything, and they all thought I was being strange like when I first started. I was only trying to be helpful and not make him upset.

 

It was easy to avoid classes since we only had two classes maximum a day except Mondays. It was only annoying when we had P.E and we would be in the same group, but we still didn’t speak or look at each other. We even avoided each other when doing a baton race.

 

He seemed angry with the world when he first came back, when Taeyeon approached to help him or ask if he was alright he’d fire right back and physically push her away or something. I felt bad for her. Sunye… ignored him; she found a boyfriend and was clinging onto him for dear life.

 

I know I said I didn’t even glance at him, but that was a lie – I can’t help but have all my attention on him when I could. He took over my mind whenever I wasn’t thinking about anything or had nothing to do, so I worked hard in school and ended up getting moved to Class A.

 

However, Donghae warmed up to Taeyeon’s help but I couldn’t help but feel jealous. But I let her have the chance; I was in the wrong… I didn’t deserve someone like him. He deserves someone like Taeyeon. Yep, I kept convincing myself that.

 

Me and Siwon were simply friends, nothing more – just that I stayed at his house because my dad was still in hospital and my maid only had time to help him. Actually, I think my friends gathered that me and Donghae were over ever since I hung around with Siwon and he was touchy with me.

 

Ms Lee began her music lesson.

 

“Alright, so about half the class has handed in their final piece. The concert was cancelled and I’m extremely upset about that, but that’s hallelujah for you all who haven’t finished it yet. You have until the final day of school to give it to me, if you don’t – you are in huge trouble!”

 

I couldn’t find much inspiration for my song, I re-wrote mine so much times I could put it all together and it’d be as thick as the earths crust (it’s the thinnest layer, but it’s still thick.)

 

-

 

End of school… Everyone stayed after school on Friday’s though because they were waiting for the sport clubs to begin practise.

 

It was the 19^th, I was going to meet Tiffany on Sunday night but I still haven’t got an idea for what she wanted to talk about. We weren’t exactly on good terms, we only spoke twice since she’s been in Korea and that was once face to face, and once on the phone.

 

My phone was ringing again, it was an unknown number. I hesitated to pick it up but did eventually.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hello? Is this Jessica Jung’s phone?” a male voice said.

 

“Yes, who are you?”

 

“It’s Dr. Kim! I was just informing you that your dad has been released, and he is fit enough to catch the plane next week.”

 

“Okay, thanks so much.”

 

“Right, I have to get back to work. Bye!” He said joyfully through the phone. I chuckled.

 

Then my phone rang again, it was an unknown number. It was probably Dr. Kim again who forgot to say something.

 

“Dr. Kim, if you forgot something then say it now.” I said

 

“Oh, sorry is this the wrong number? Are you Jessica Jung?” this time it was another voice, deeper and less clear.

 

“Yes, who are you?”

 

“I’m Donghwa. I don’t know if you know me but I’m Donghae’s brother…”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I wanted to arrange to meet up with you, can we? When are you free?”

 

“Uhmm, how about on a Monday, you know – on the 23^rd? In the noon? I’m not going to be in school that day.”

 

“Alright, bye but please don’t tell Donghae this.” And he hung up.

 

Why does everyone hang up on me? It’s never me who hangs up first. However, why did he want to speak to me? How do these people get my number? That’s so freaky, is it on the net or something?

 

I jumped when I felt Siwon tickling me. “I don’t like that. Don’t do it again, ever.” I said, glaring at him.

 

We were now engaged. However, we won’t be getting married. He just wants me to wear the ring in future when we part our ways in California but he still insists on skinship with me and does it even if I push him off time after time.

 

I’d so have had fallen in love with him, but Donghae has occupied my whole heart. There’s no space for someone else.

 

“It’s your final day, even though your friends don’t know it – aren’t you going to say something to them?” Siwon said as he slyly put his arm around my waist as I leaned against the wall with my upper body above it, looking out of school. Then laid his head on my shoulders.

 

I would have taken his arms off usually, but today I felt lonely. I didn’t expect to make friends when I took on this crazy mission, I didn’t actually expect to fall in love, I just expected to know the truth and get revenge.

 

-

 

Donghae’s POV

 

I was walking out on my own with a ball in my hand ready to go to football practise and I saw Jessica and Siwon. He wrapped his arms around her and laid his head on her shoulder.

 

Once again, my heart shattered into pieces. I would never become immune to this heartbreaking feeling. Part of me wanted to run up to them and split them apart, the other part of me was wishing Jessica would take his arms off of her. I stood there and watched them. There was no happy feeling at all.

 

I had butterflies in my stomach at Jessica’s next action.

 

Jessica turned around with Siwon’s arms around her still and she wrapped hers around his neck. I was so close to exploding with jealousy, but who was I to her. I was just a toy she successfully fooled with.

----

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