SOHEE.

“Sohee, are you feeling better?” I saw a blurry image of ahjumma in front of me. I bobbed my head up and down to signal a yes. Looking around, I realized that I was lying on a makeshift bed in the storage room. Exerting all of my strength, I pulled myself up from the bed. “Ahjumma, where is ahbuhji?”
“He left after you passed out.” Ahjumma shook her head disapprovingly. “He was not the least concerned about you! What kind of dad is he?” Ahjumma frowned. That is my father. Cold and unfeeling. I wrapped my arms around ahjumma’s neck and rested my chin on her shoulder. It feels safer with ahjumma around. Unlike dad, she is warm and compassionate. I don’t need anyone else if I can only have one person by my side. I just need ahjumma to be by my side.

“Ahjumma,” I held onto her hand tightly as we walked towards her apartment. “Why don’t you ever talk about your family?” After ahjumma took me in, I got to understand that she lived all alone. Ahjumma is getting on with age, why doesn’t anyone help out at her eatery? She has to wake so early and go grocery shopping all alone too… “My husband and child died in a fire many years ago. I went grocery shopping and forgot that I was boiling herbal soup in the kitchen. They died in that fire. I guess you can say that I was a murderer.” Ahjumma was always there for me when I was down, but I never knew she had such a past. I couldn’t help but to feel embarrassed. Her heart must be hurting whenever she sees me. I must’ve reminded her of her child, yet I never knew and always bothered her. I didn’t know any of these and picked on her scab. “I’m sorry, ahjumma!”
“Silly child, what’s there to be sorry about? You don’t know how grateful I am for your appearance.”

“If my daughter is still alive, she should be near your age. I used to always dream of her. In my dreams, Soo Jin would be crying and screaming for help. I never had a single night of proper rest. But one day you appeared at my eatery in your school uniform!” ahjumma smiled warmly as she recounted our first meeting.

I ran off from school again and boarded a random bus. I don’t know why, but the bustling marketplace attracted me. When I walked amongst the crowd, I felt like any other ordinary person experiencing an ordinary day. The ahjummas seemed to all know each other and they would share gossips and bargained for a better price. They had loud but friendly voices. Everything was so different from the prim and proper environment that I was raised under. It was a fascinating new world to me.

Having skipped lunch that day, my stomach growled when I came to ahjumma’s eatery. I remember ordering a huge bowl of soup. It was very spicy but it warmed my stomach. Although I was always punished by dad for skipping classes, I did it anyway sporadically. I wanted to spite him, and at the same time I liked hanging o