SOHEE.

I don’t know how much time has passed since I lost sight of the van. People came and passed, but nobody was overly concerned about a lady sitting by the roadside all alone. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes in attempt to clear my blurry vision. That was when I realised that I had been crying. Pulling off the glasses that were meant as a disguise, I stared long and hard at it as though if I stared long enough, its owner will appear again. Yunho is gone. Why must I be the one to accept people being taken away from me? This is unfair, life is really unfair.

Slowly pulling myself up with help from the railing, I have never felt so worn-out before. In fact, I could feel the numbness in my legs from sitting still for too long. I thought I forgot how having numb limbs felt. I thought I forgot how to cry. I thought I forgot that I had emotions…

The view from the bus ride to ahjumma’s eatery was the same, but it felt different at the same time. I tightened my hands around Yunho’s glasses and tried to imagine that he was still here with me. We would arrive at the eatery and ahjumma would make fun of us again. She would crack a joke that I found embarrassing and treat us to free food. We would have a great afternoon chatting and if business was too much for ahjumma to handle, we could help out too. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and looked out of the window again. I barely blinked, hoping that the cold wind would be able to dry my tears before they fell.

Ahjumma knew something was wrong the second I set foot into the eatery. I headed straight for my usual table in a corner and she immediately came over with a bowl of piping hot soup. “Here, drink up. Soup is the perfect defense against cold weather.” I picked up the bowl and gulped straight from it; ignoring ahjumma’s warning to blow at it before drinking. The soup scorched my throat, but it made me feel alive again. “Aigoo, what should we do with this silly kid?” Ahjumma poured me a glass of water and made me drink it instantly.  The second she placed her hand to pat my back, I choked on the tears that reformed in my eyes. “Ahjumma,” my voice was hoarse. “Ottoke?”

Ahjumma made me eat everything that she prepared and even closed to eatery to sit down beside me, making sure that I ate up. She did not ask any questions and waited patiently for me to finish the meal. “Do you want more side dishes?” she would ask ever so often and topped up the dishes before I replied her. When I felt that I had stretched my stomach to its limits, I placed the spoon on the table and pulled a smile at ahjumma. “Thank you for the meal. I really enjoyed it.” Ahjumma nodded her head in satisfaction and came over with bottles of soju. Thankfully for ahjumma. She always cheered me up in her own ways, without asking any questions or making any assumptions. She always waited patiently for me to open up to her and when I didn’t feel like talking, she would just comfort me with the food that she has made. Even though umma was taken away from me, I was given ahjumma. But now that Yunho has been taken away, who will be able to replace that empty spot in my heart?

“Sohee ah, why don’t you help me out here at the e