Title ❀❀❀❀❀

The title not only catchs you, but screams sadness; as if one of the protagonists would actually suffer so much you won't be able to breathe, so I do like the title. I think it's brilliant and it actually fits the story. It attracts the readers, since they might think about: not a word? How come the main protagonist won't talk to each other? How the hell will they be able to interact, to be with each other if not a single word is spoken? Or does it mean something more? Of course, there's the fact of no-verbal actions, but this couldn't possibly -or unlikely- to be true if they met for the first time. 

Description/Foreword ❀❀❀❀❀

The description is simple, and it tells the readers what it is about, and what to expect of this fan fic. That's good because if they are interested, they will read. If not, they can skip it. I would have put a little bit more Sehun, like a bit of his thoughts or feelings. Even if he doesn't appear that much, it would be good to know more about his character. Not too much, but something precise and concise should have been nice. The foreword, whoever, makes it up for me. It gives the overall feeling of how angsty this fic will be, and a short view of what may happen in Luhan and Sehun's future.

Characterization ❀❀❀❀❀

Luhan's character is perfect. You totally nailed the fact of him being forgotten, neglected, and despised. The portray of his emotions, of how much he has been suffering most of his life, of his solitude, of the darkness that surrounds him I felt it, and it touched me to no end. You described it very nicely, and that's part of being an angst writer; to portray emotions to its maximum, to let the reader know the pain the character is passing through, and what is he feeling inside. Whoever, I would have liked a little bit of more description of his character. Since you want it to be dark, the better you add descriptions, emotions, the better it comes out. Also, I want to know about Sehun's characterization, because by now, he seems too perfect to me with wanting to help Luhan and everything out of the blue. The reader would like to know how you will present him, but I do understand the story is still on-going. 

Originality ❀❀½ ❀❀

This is our typical school theme, therefore I have read a lot of plots like this: a scholar being bullied by everybody, and the most popular guy/the hero/the best member in school saves him from being bullied, protects him and so on. It is pretty much over-used, so it lacks originality in that part. However, I like the fact that it stands out a little bit for me on the way you portray the emotions of Luhan, and also the way that they haven't talked to each other not even once. Most of the time in these type of fics, even a word is exchanged at first; but not here. So it leaves you wondering.