Ocean(海) by Najaeri

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Ocean (海)

by: Najaeri

Genre: Romance/Angst/Fantasy

Main Character(s): Suho/OC

Contains: Straight

Chapter(s): Four (Completed)

Summary:  This is something neither you and I can afford. I wish it would have been easier, but this is destiny and we can't change it no matter how much we want. Accept it, embrace it and go on with your life. Because unfortunately, if you want me to be yours, you have to become one with the ocean, so I can love you more.

 


 

Title ★★

As soon as you know it's a EXO fic, the title inmediately tells you of whom it is about. If you are a huge fan of the guardia, you won't think twice as to click that title and read about the lovely leader of EXO-K. However when it comes to originality, I looked up for other aff fics with the same title and I didn't see one with just "Ocean" yet I did saw "My Ocean", "Ocean Park", "Ocean Eyes", "Ocean of Dreams" so I'm afraid the title might lack a little on the originality. Sorry! >.< It also yet again inmediately tells you what's the story might be about. It's about Suho and him being the 'ocean' or somewhere between those lines. 

 

Plot 

As soon as you start reading the story, you give the reader a quick description about the main girl. Her personality as she likes living in solitude and her adoration for the ocean. Through out the whole first chapter you completely get it: the girl can't get enough of the blue. Then comes the mysterious boy sitting and staring at the ocean that caughts her by surprise as she had a sort of "magnetism" toward him and the boy tells her 'you want to talk to me' in a matter-of-fact voice. Now you know who that boy is but even though you do, you can't help wonder how he is like and what will they talk about. Then in the second chapter you see their friendship develop. We learn the name of the female character is Mizu and confirmed that the boy is indeed Suho. We learn about Suho's personality: quiet south korean rich boy. Then we have a surprising discovery almost at the end of the chapter: Mizu can see people's auras and she had seen Suho's and she can tell that he is pure and he has a different aura than any human. And then comes her realization that she isn't worthy of him even though she has tried to tell herself that what she felt for him isn't love. But I guess she finally comes to a break down and eventually admits to herself in the end that she indeed loves him but cannot have him. Then the third chapter comes along with a full blast! Mizu's confession and then what do we got? Suho has a secret? And you can't help wonder what it was yet you might know what it is and you won't really know until the very end of the chapter where it hits you fully in the head. The final chapter comes and finally Suho tells her everything and you find out everything there is to know about him and about his real relationship with Mizu. And you can't help but feel awestruck and sad about it....by now if you are a softie like me, you will be crying your eyes out. You continue reading and you will cry this time it will be happy tears. And you will definetely want Suho to be your ocean. Enough said.

 

Grammar 

There are a few errors here and there (but I do know that english isn't your first language). There were a few that caught my attention. The numbers, please try to use them only for the time and room numbers or numbers that could be "engraved" in something. Don't use them for years or ages or how many times you do something, use the written words for them; Ex. instead of 5 write 'five'. Also in chapter 2 while describing Suho, there is a point where you change from third pov to first pov. I dunno if it was on purpose or a mistake. If it was on purpose and it's actually Mizu's mind then make them italic so that it won't get confusing. 
 
Originality 
 
Outstanding! Amazing! Heart captivating! Teary-eyed story! I have never read a story like this one! (probably never will, mind you). I must confess I am a er for angst romantic stories with happy endings. It has a lovely twists at the end cause even though the title somehow tells you what part of the story will be about, there rest and most important part it is yet to be uncover as you read the story. Great job!
 
 
Flow 
 
The proximity between them was natural...she was shy and not all over him at first which it is how it should be. The friendship develop in not such a fast pace nor a slow pace, it was perfect. The whole feeling was great and I loved the prose. It kinda was sort of poetic but not in the Shakespeare kind, it was more modern. I loved that part where Mizu says "I can't have a spring's flower in the middle of winter". Loved it!
 

Reader's POV

You asked me to answer you a few questions and they will be answer not from the review's pov but from a reader's. You asked about the plot: I thought it was very well written and well thought of. I loved that it was about one of my biases. I really love any story that invloves Suho and this was so lovely I just can't. My feels were all over the place! (But you know that very well! >.<) I still remember the day I first read it and it was like 2am; I called you crying my eyes out telling you how much I hated you! x'D lol! Good times!  You asked what do I think about the title: Well, it was well used since the story is about that and even though it might be over-used, it was still a perfect title cause it fitted the plot like a ring to a finger. You asked wether the story was good: Is it good? More like AWESOME! A masterpiece! But then again, you know that and a few people too, you even won first place with it in a short story competition! What else is there to say?! You asked what do I think about the pairing: MiHo was great. Out of all the OCs I've written paired up with Suho, she is my #1 on the list. Then again none can compare to a girl that has her dreams some true and gives it all just to be with her love. You asked how's your grammar: You might say that it isn't the best and it might not be but BELIEVE ME, for someone whose english isn't their first language it is wayyy better than stories I have read and I find out that english is indeed their first language. It is a shame sometimes. But anyways, your story is awesome and even though you already knew most of my thoughts about it and hate you a lil bit for making me yet again re-read this story....I don't need to tell you that my ocean feels came back once again! ;A; Oh~ Bimirira maresseo~

I give this story overall!

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Najaeri
NAJAERI IS NOW AVAILABLE. SHE STILL HAS SOME COLLEGE WORK, BUT IT'S SOMETHING SHE CAN BEAR FOR NOW, SO SHE WILL BE TAKING REQUESTS AT A FAST PEACE AGAIN. TY

Comments

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-Tigress-
#1
Chapter 24: Thanks so much! And no worries about thelong wait, I do know how life can catch us sometimes >.< I appreciate the work you did!! And definitely the advice. I have been trying to think of an original title >.< And yes typos plague me. >.< So thank you!!! <3
-Tigress-
#2
Hi guys! I was just curious if you guys were on hiatus at the moment?
itsjustnana
#3
Requested c:
Tychee
#4
Requested ^__^
I'd like to say thanks before hand XDD
Tychee
#5
Requested ^___^
Misskittyrose
#6
Umm why did my story get rejected?
-Tigress-
#7
Okay, I have requested for the second one =) Thank you!!!
-Tigress-
#8
I have requested a review! I also have a Question; can I ask for another story to be reviewed at the same time?
Also, if the reviewer I chose can't/doesn't want to do it, I honestly don't mind who reviews it. I just would like a critical review please. =)
hazel_marie13
#9
Chapter 21: Thanks for the review :) I really do agree with all the mistakes/errors that I made & if I had time, I'll edit/correct it :)