When I First Saw You

by: Lovex2254

Genre: Romance

Main Characters(s): Jungkook/You

Contains: Straight

Chapter(s): Three (On-Going)

Summary: The cafe is your sanctuary, the park is his. You're outgoing and bright, he's shy and a little flustered. Who is this boy across the street with the notepad? Why was he drawing you? And why do you feel just a little more happy when you're with him? Maybe you'll get the answers to these questions, but maybe you'll just get more questions to answer.

Title   ♥♥½♥♥♥

To be honest, the title has been overused a lot of times, so it's not really original or makes it go 'oh my god, i have to check out this story'. Plus, it's also used in different ways like 'The First Time I Saw You' or something like that. But, I think the title fits the story just fine.

Plot ♥♥♥♥♥

For me, the plot where a girl sees a boy she doesn't know at all and they later become interested in each other really isn't original for me. I've seen a lot of stories with this plot, but from the way you're using it, makes it somewhat of a bit interesting. For others who never read this kind of plot, will be interested. But me, for once, I'm actually liking the way you're using it.

Grammar ♥♥♥♥♥

Your grammar was good and I caught no spelling errors or use of sentences in the wrong way. Great job on grammar. :)

Characterization ♥♥♥♥♥

The fact that the OC is just a simple girl who works in a coffee shop and Jungkook is just some boy who sketches and is mysterious is an odd and intriguing pairing. The way you're using the characters are well done and I think their personalities will grow more interesting as they bond.

Flow ♥♥♥♥♥

The flow of the story is so far, so good. You didn't rush their feelings, you didn't rush a kiss between them, and you're making your characters slowly bond. Great job on the flow of the story.

Reader's POV

As a reader, you asked me for my opinion. I honestly think this story is good from where it's going and I'm very curious to see what happens next. I have lots of predictions and questions and I'm quite eager to find out whether I'm right or wrong on any of them. Very, very nice work. /claps/

Final score:

♥♥♥♥♥

Sorry! You did not make our Hall of Fame, but good luck on your story!