Can You Not?

by: bangzieun

Genre: Angst

Main Character(s): Lay/Kai

Contains:

Chapter(s): One (Completed)

Summary:  Yixing is leaving Jongin, though Jongin begs him not to.

Title ★★★★★

It's a Kailay story; so with that said, you will catch my attention (I love this pairing). The title it's quite catchy; it will make me wonder what's happening between these two and made me click the story so I can finally know what's wrong. However, I went on search to see if aff had another story with the same title. Even though I didn't see one, there were a few story that used the "Can you not..." term, like "Can  you not love me?" and things like that. So, it doesn't make it 100% original :( BUT I give you two thumbs up for making it alluring enough to make me wanna know what's going on between the couple! ;P

Plot ★★★★★

I see the description and that's how I know. Lay is dumping Kai though you already tell the reader what will happen (Which you shouldn't. At least in one-shots I don't reccomend it. The least you know, the better.) you still don't know how he will dumb him and the question still lingers in your head. "WHY is he dumping him?" "What did Kai do?!" which is still a huge plus for you. So, then you have the chapter's title "Please Don't" now you probably know that Jongin doesn't want to which once again clearly tells you in the description. Now, onward to the story: So we find a very pissed Lay that finds out Jongin cheated on him /le gasp :o and that it hasn't being the first time he did this! /double le gasp :O :o We see Lay packing his bags and Jongin beggin like the cute pup he is but Yixing won't take his zhitt thrice! Oh no, he won't! Still, Jongin wants to talk so, he lets him. Now, he tells him that not only he has done it three times but more than those! And that was good enough for Yixing to stop listening. And like that, he is gone. Three years passed, Jongin is in a sea of regrets and Lay is happily engaged to my dear Suho. The end! Short but with a good enough lenght so...good job! 

Grammar ★★★★★

I didn't see any gramma mistakes whatsoever. Everything was well-written and in its place! ;p Lovely!

Originality ★★★★★

I haven't read a Kailay like this but yeah we do expect Kai to be a womanizer since that's how they mostly portrait him. But I loved Lay's character, he was very strong and thought for himself and his well-being. I am sorry for Kai and I love the fact how  you ended the story cause a reader would want to know "what now?" what will happen to our Kai? Sequel anyone? x) -gets Kyungsoo ready- work your magic, eomma!