Chapter 22 - Rage

KRIS WU'S POINT OF VIEW

The barbercue party became a formal dinner. Everyone in the room are tensed by the presence of my egoistical and sophisticated mom. No one dares to speak. Everyone is contended in silence that surrounds us until mom decided to break it.

"Why are you all silent? Is it because I came?" She tried to lighten up her voice but there still a hint of anger in it. I gulp before I answer.

"We don't have that much of a topic." I said silently. She pursed her lips and took a deep breathe.

"Really? But I assumed we have some unresolved issues here." She said as she tap her fingers on the table. I grip on Amber's hand. She look at me in reassuring look then let go of my hand and stand.

"If you'll excuse me, I need  to go the bathroom." She said with a bow and walk out. After a while Calvin also decided to leave the room. Without speaking they can feel the tension between my mom and us. I glance at Victoria who have teary eyes. When our eyes met, she look at me with we-are-so-dead-what-are-we-going-to-do-look. I slightly shook  my head. 

"Why did you runaway? We are so disappointed on the both of you." My mom said frustratedly. I look down but rage run through my veins. Even though she is my mom I never felt like she's  mother instead  a boss who would tell what you need to do to satisfy her. With all my courage, I lift my chin and look at her straight in the eyes. 

"It is because we don't want this stupid arrange marriage. Have you ever consider our feelings about this? Have you ever ask me what I want? You always dictate me! I'm not your freakin' dog! I'm your son! You know what I was really happy when I got the chance to leave your demonic house! I finally got my freedom!" I exclaimed breathlessly. She was bewildered. Silence once again surrounds us.

"Bastard! How can you say that to your mother?!" She said angerily. I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth.

"Mother? Have ever been one?" I mock with bitterness on my voice. Her face grew redder. She stand up and slap me in the face. It echoes in the room as I heard Victoria gasp. I lift my hand and touch the cheek where she slap me. I glare at her and furrowed my eyebrows. She gape at me as she step back. She open but no sound came. She look sorry for what she did but her pride was holding her back.

"How dare you..." she said almost a whisper. I stand up and step closer to her.

"The truth hurts. You never been a mother to me. You never was. You never care about me. You don't even glance at me because you were too busy with your work." I said with bitterness in my voice. A tear suddenly fall on her cheeks. She suddenly kneel and cover her crying face. A part of me wants to kneel down and hug her. She is still my mother anyway but anger is overpowering it. All this years I tried to hide all of my hatred and in just a minute I let it all out. 

"Sorry..." I heard her mutter but she is still crying. I choose to remain silent. I want to hear what she is going to say. My heart hammers in agony and pity.

"Sorry......I didn't know." She whisper. I snicker and cross my arms in my chest. 

"Of course. You wouldn't know. You were too busy!" I said. She put down her hands and lift her face. Her make up is a smudge but then my heart sank when I saw her crying face. Ny arms fall as I clenched my fist. My breathing become ragged. 

"I'm sorry. All I want is the best for you. I want to give you a better future. Please forgive me." She beg and tried to hold my hand. I stiffened by the contact of our skin. I'm so confused. My feelings are so messed up. I want to forgive her but the memories of why I hated her flashes to my mind. I can't just forgive her like that. In my 20 years of existance, I never feel her love as mother. I shook my head in disapproval.

"How do you expect me to forgive if all you did made me hate you?" I said and slowly remove my hand from hers. She stand up and look panicked. 

"What do you want? What can I do for you to forgive me? What will I do to be a mother to you?" Her last words made me shiver. I don't know what should a mother do.

"Time and effort to be with me." I whisper. When I was a child, I always wish that mom can play with me but that never happened. She gape at me while her tears are running down to her cheeks. I guess she didn't expect that answer from me. She tried to stop crying and wipe her tears. She took a deep breathe.

"Ok. I promise. I know its too late but I will make things work out. I will do everything just for you to forgive me." She said, composing herself. I give her a simple nod. I feel relieved. 

"Sorry to interrupt your confessions but does this mean the marriage is off?" Suddenly Victoria blurted. Oh! I almost forgot about that! I look at my mom who look pale. She close her and sigh.

"Yes." She said unwillingly. I saw Victoria almost jump with joy. A grin form on my lips. Maybe this a start of something new. 

"Oh god! Thank you! But what about my mom?" She exclaimed as her voice got low on the last part. I frown. I almost thought the problem was solved. 

"Don't worry. I will be the one who will talk to her. I'll convince her." She said and sit. I sigh as a sign of relief. Victoria can help herself so she jump and scream with joy. 

"Thank you. Mrs. Wu!" She said cheerfully. My mom just nod and Victoria went out. My mom turn her head to mine and tried  to smile. I smile back and walk out also. So far so good. I guess. I didn't expect that I will have that conversation with my mother though I feel so relieve. Relieve that I finally express all my feelings. I keep on walking outside until I saw a familiar figure standing in front of the dark ocean. I walk closer to her and give her back hug. She was startled but soon as she recognize me she calm down. 

"So, how was it?" She said as she broke the silence. I hug her tightly.

"It was not what I expect to be though it came out good." I whisper and rest my chin to her shoulder. I saw in my peripheral vision, she smile.

"That's good! So what are we going to do now? Your mother knows already where we are." She asked then hold my hand that is wrap around her. 

"Hmmm. I don't know. I just want to savor this moment with you." I said jokingly but inside my mind its true. She laugh. 

"You're corny. Stop it. It doesn't suit you." She mock then laugh again. I frown and let down my arms. She turn her body to face me with a smile plastered on her face. 

"You always ruin my good mood." I whined making her laugh. Gah. Its good to heat. It feels like music to my ears. 

"What?Hahah. I'm telling the truth. I've known you for being grumpy and strict. I'm not used to your  corny side." She state then grin. I pout. She pinch my cheeks and chuckles.

"I'm not grumpy. I just...ahh...whatever. You are so annoying back then." I said then remove her hands to my cheeks. Her smile grew wider.

"It is because you are so fun to tease!" She stated cheerfully. Ugh. I can't help it. Why is she so damn cute? I'm supposed to be angry with her right now but I just can't! 

"Ugh. Whatever! Be thankful I love you..." I mutter my last words. She look at me confused. 

"What? What did you said? I didn't hear the last thing you said." She asked. I shook my head and smile.

"Oh its nothing. Don't mind it." I stated but she squinted her eyes on me. I raise my both hands and shook my head.

"Seriously, Its nothing." I said and laugh. She raise her eyebrow then step closer to mine.

"No it's not. Say it!" She demand but I bit my lips to stop myself from smiling and shook my head.

"Say it!" She exclaimed. Again, I shook my head firmly.

"Kris! Say it!" Now, she looked more frustrated. 

"You sure, you wanna hear it?" I asked and she nod firmly. I step closer to her and lean to level my facr to her.

"I love you..."