14 – JUNCTION


Kyuhyun’s POV

“Ehem…”

I make some noise by clearing my throat to surprise the girl in front of me. I make it a bit louder because it’s raining.

“Kyuhyun-sshi…”

She replies me.

“Congratulations Taeyeon-sshi!” I tell her and she’s embarrassed I think.

We are in front of an announcement board, reading the results of our audition.

ANNOUNCEMENT

Kindly be informed that the students listed below
have passed the main cast audition for this year’s
campus anniversary musical performance.

Title
Sky of Love: A Sad Love Story
(Koizora: Setsunai Koi Monogatari)

Director & Composer
Yesung
Kim Ryeowook (assistant)

Choreographer
Kim Hyoyeon
Shin Donghee
Choi Minho (assistant)

Leading Role
Kim Taeyeon (as Mika Tahara)
Cho Kyuhyun (as Hiroki Sakurai)

Supporting Role
Onew (as Yu Fukuhara)
Choi Sooyoung (as Saki)
Victoria Song (as Minako Sakurai)
Sunny (as Aya)
Kim Jonghyun (as Nozomu)

Special Cameo
Kim Kibum

Special Concert Performance
Violin: Henry Lau
Piano: Seo Juhyun
Flute: Tiffany Hwang
Guitar: Kim Jungmo
Bass: Lee Sungmin
Drum: Choi Siwon

Orchestra and Musical Member
To be chosen by another audition.
To be announced on next Monday separately.

Congratulations!
First meeting will be held on next Monday,
2:00 PM, at Mini Theatre,
Musical Department Buildings.

“Congratulations for passing the audition.”

I repeat again.

“Ahh… ne… neh…” She replies shyly, aniyo, more nervously.

Well, I think I just caught her. I caught her lying to me, keke.

“Kyuhyun-sshi, I, I, mmmphhh, I, I don’t know what to say actually… It feels like you are insulting me by congratulating. However, I’m sorry for lying the other day to you. I… I was nervous and…”

She doesn’t continue, she just stares at me.

“Actually, I had known you would do the audition the next day. To be honest, I had seen the list of students who would be auditioning, Taeyeon-sshi. So… I knew you were lying even before this announcement was made. Keke.”

I find it amusing to .

“Really? Then, then why did you ask me whether I was going to do the audition or not if you had already known the truth?” She asks me back, she looks annoyed and upset now.

“Let me think… maybe because I wanted some topic to talk to… I didn’t expect you would lie though… really, I mean… why did you need to lie at any cost after all?”

I again, I enjoy it but I don’t really notice that it is really upsetting her.

“I told you I was nervous and… honestly, I didn’t really have the confidence… besides, you were lying too right? I, I had seen the list too and you were going for the audition… but you told me you were not instead. Now tell me, why did you lie to me?”

She exclaims there, trying to protect her own pride by attacking mine, well I am only joking though but she takes it seriously.

“I just want to avenge your lie! That’s all! Kekeke…”

I smile happily because I think I win this lying battle with my latest line.

“I see… sorry Kyuhyun-sshi.” She responds uneasily. Yeah, I think she is feeling really uneasy now.

“It’s ok kekeke. I’m just kidding though, I don’t mean to tease you.”

“Neh, it’s alright. Frankly… I was just very afraid of not being able to pass the audition because I really want it. Thus, I slightly became nervous that time when you suddenly asked me.”

She says again to me. And whoaaa… she is really determined based on her last words. She really wants to pass the audition. But why? It seems like being in the musical is not something between life or dead. So, why she is really aiming it like she’ll have no other opportunities.

“Taeyeon-sshi, I wonder why did you need to be afraid of not passing the audition? I think, life must go on even without passing the audition, mustn’t it? You’ll still have many chances in the future right? I mean, if you didn’t pass this audition then you can try the other one. Life will constantly give you many roads to be chosen… neh?”

I ask her and I don’t expect any rebuttal this time because I think what I just said was right.

“What if we choose the wrong path then? I mean… when we walk on the road, we’ll sometimes find a point where we need to turn to the other road… we think it’s the right one… but what if this road leads us to a stalemate…? To a deadlock?”

She makes her rebuttal. Aigoo, I don’t really like talking about philosophy actually but then I find myself going with the flow.

“Then I think we have to turn back.” I stress the two last words of my previous sentence with more convincing tone before continuing.

“We can always turn back again to the previous road and continue the journey again and you know what? Life is walking indeed.”

Here I go with my perspective of life.

“We can always choose our road. And in a certain junction, we will think whether to turn to the other road or just keep walking straightly, ignoring the other road, right? Every junction will give you challenges, new friends to meet, new things to see and experience, and so on. And, when we face the dead-end, we just need to turn back, it’s tiring but it’s worth trying. That’s what makes life beautiful and… perfect to live.”

Ahhh, how can I blabber like this? Is it too much? This is the first time I have some kind of this talk actually. Even with Fany, I never have talked about the philosophy of my life. However, I enjoy it. I really do. I enjoy sharing my thoughts with this girl for some reason. As for now, I’m getting curious about how she’ll reply me.

“Kyuhyun-sshi… I think… sometimes there’s no turning back. Life is not that perfect and don’t think like you know everything.”

Somehow, it’s really like she doesn’t have tomorrow to live. It sounds so hopeless. No energy, no soul, and no life in her tone.

“Kyuhyun-ah…”

Another voice can be heard, calling for me. Ahh, it’s just Fany.

“I’ll leave you two then, congratulations Kyuhyun-sshi.”

And then, this Kim Taeyeon leaves me and Fany here after saying that plainly. I’m still curious about her last comment but I can’t say any words to stop her. I just waved to reply her goodbye. But hey, what does she really mean? I really wonder. I can only stare the short girl walking and getting further, completely ignoring Tiffany’s presence beside me.

“Ok, how long will you make me waiting for you to face me Cho Kyuhyun?”

Fany mutters sarcastically.

“Ahh… sorry Fany-ah… I was just thinking about something. Sorry, ok? Are we cool now? Kekeke.”

I try to liven up the situation and I just notice that there’s a plaster on her forehead, right above her right eyebrow.

“It depends…”

She still grumbles. Wae??? What’s this now?

“Depends on what?” I ask her of course.

“It depends on how you could explain about this to me?!”

She exclaims, pointing the musical performance audition results poster with her index finger. Fed-up can be traced in her tone and mimic. But waeyooo???

“How could I explain about that poster? What’s that supposed to mean? Fany-ah… I don’t get you.”

I talk back, showing how puzzled I am right now because of her weird attitude.

“Kyu… how come I don’t know about this?”

She points the poster again with the same finger. Aigooo, why does she need to be so angry over this matter?

“Ahhh… so that’s what you meant neh? Well, I’m sorry Fany-ah… I know I should have told you that actually… I really want to try to do a musical once. You do know I like singing right?! So yeah, I just want some more fun… kekeke. Please, don’t get mad just because I didn’t tell you about this, alright?”

I try to coax her, hoping that she’ll be calmer. However, I was wrong.

“Kyuhyun-ah… do you really think I’m getting angry because you didn’t tell me about your secret passion of doing a musical?! Come on… I’m not that childish!”

“Then hell why Tiffany Hwang? I don’t like arguing so you better explain to me now. Aishhh, do you really need to be that annoying? What’s wrong with you huh?”

Oh well, I just blurted out. Yeah I know I just pulled the trigger.

“Fine… listen to me now carefully! I’m asking you now… how come my name is on the list? Explain this to me!”

Oww… I’m totally busted. It’s stupid to think that she won’t know that it’s me actually. Yeah, I’m the culprit. I’m the one sending her application and demo video to the committee. I’m thinking about excuses when she continues again.

“Kyu… it’s ok if you don’t want to help me with the charity event. Really… it’s ok even though I really meant it when I said I need you to help me with the charity. It’s really hard without you there but it’s ok.”

She speaks with low volume. It’s not so usual to hear her speak this low. She has always been so loud. Only when she’s sad she speaks this low.

“It’s still ok even when you told me that you don’t like being busy but then you are busying yourself with the musical instead. It’s really ok Kyu… I’m sad of course for not knowing your dream to do a musical and for not being able to support you but then it’s your choice… I can do nothing, can’t I?! Besides, doing musical is better for you rather than gaming.”

Now she is blurting out everything in her mind I think.

“But really… I can’t tolerate it anymore if you trespass my territory. So now, explain to me why and how come my name is on that special concert performance list?!”

Ok, is she done? Hmmm… I think so.

As she doesn’t speak anymore, I don’t waste any time to take my turn. I think I’m not at fault actually but as I said I don’t like arguing, I think it’s better to apologize.

“Well, sorry… Fany-ah. You’re right. It’s me who is responsible for the fact that you are on that list. However, shouldn’t you be happy? Isn’t it great that you pass the audition? I mean… Few days ago, when we were in the library…”

“Seriously, I just want to help you Fany-ah. Isn’t it great then because both of us can perform on this musical? Shouldn’t you congratulate me instead of being so sensitive?”

I stop for a moment before continuing. “Yah…! Where’s the cheerful and kind Tiffany?”

I give a smile in the end of my question, trying to make her smile as well because I think everything settled now. However, I was wrong again.

“You really don’t understand neh?”

She only says that before walking pass through me, leaving me without goodbye.

“Fany-ah!” I try to stop her by grabbing her hand and she stops because I’m stronger though.

She still back faces me.

“Waeyooo? What’s this? Why are you still mad? Didn’t I tell you everything?! Aren’t you satisfied?!”

She still keeps her silence. Arghhhh. It really adds the ache in my head.

“Tiffany Hwang… yah! If you keep silent, then how am I supposed to know what’s wrong? I wonder why are you so sensitive today?”

Still, she doesn’t answer me.

“Hey, look at me now.” I say to her, trying to turn her body with my hand. I still hold her left hand with mine when suddenly she forcefully breaks the hold. She rejects my demand.

“FINE! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT NOW! I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!” I explode. Really I can’t hold in it anymore. I lose my patient.

“Do you think it’s only you who can be angry?!” I say again, still facing her back.

Slowly, she turns her body, facing me. I can see her teary eyes now. Yeah, they’re getting teary but she’s still not crying.

“Up to you then! I also don’t care anymore! And… sorry for being sensitive. Besides… don’t act like you know everything Cho Kyuhyun. Was it really hard to ask me first before sending my application?!”

And then she leaves me, walking… no, she’s running actually right now. I still wonder what’s wrong with these girls today. First Kim Taeyeon, second Tiffany Hwang. It’s pretty confusing neh?! Geez!

I decide to let Fany be alone for some time and I’ll go talking again with her. Why does she look so upset because I send her application? I need an explanation.

Tiffany’s POV

I wish I could turn back the time now and erase the recent incident that just happened. Ahhhh, why am I so harsh to Kyuhyun just right now? It’s not his fault though. He doesn’t deserve it. However, I can’t help it.

When I read my name on that poster, it really heated me up! I couldn’t control my emotion that time and I just needed to let it out. But again, Kyuhyun is clueless so it’s normal if he’s getting annoyed too. 

“Huhhhhhh…” I sigh.

Maybe I should apologize later. Should I tell him everything then?

“Knock knock knock!”

The door of the meeting room is suddenly knocked and opened, revealing Choi Siwon. What the hell is he doing here right now? The meeting is over already.

“I’m sorry.”

He says walking to my direction.

“The music video shooting I’m involved in got delayed so I couldn’t make it to the meeting today. Really, Tiffany-sshi… I’m really sorry.”

He sits beside me again.

“Ahh… it’s ok, kekeke.”

Oh… why oh why I am acting so lovable to him? “Be patient Fany-ah… he’s your treasure, he’s your treasure, he’s your treasure.” I keep telling this thing on my mind.

“So, what did I miss?” He asks me, showing how curious he is about the progress of our charity event. Is it for real? Does he really care that much?

I’m actually spacing out now, thinking about Kyuhyun again then about how good this actor looks then about the musical performance then about our charity event then about my father… I forget to answer his question and so he does ask me again.

“Tiffany-sshi, I’m asking you, did I miss something?”

And being unstable I am right now, I’m somehow being so emotional while answering him. Previous thoughts of everything that just happened suddenly piss me off again.

“Well, for your information, you miss everything…” I stop. “Every single thing!” I repeat and then I try to conclude. “You never come to the meeting… so why bother asking me now! In my opinion, you are… you…”

I hesitate, I really want to continue my sentence and tell him that he is so useless but then my brain can still operate well. My brain do the comparison between what’s going to happen if I tell him that he’s useless and what’s going to happen if I don’t. Lastly, my brain summarizes that I indeed still need him so the word doesn’t pass my lips.

“I am what?” He asks me, wanting to know what I was going to say.

“Nothing, forget it.” I reply and he just giggles.

“I think I know though.” He says, posing like he really knows about it.

“What then?” I eagerly ask him, wanting to know what he knows.

“Hmmm… You must be thinking I’m arrogant…” He says.

“And I’m selfish…” He continues again and he shows no sign of stopping himself there.

“I’m also an attention hogger and I’m a liar. Right? These are what you think about me right?”

He raises his eyebrows. Well, everything that he just said was true though. Really, I don’t know that he can read my mind. However, I think there’s something weird there… hmmm… is he really a mind reader? Andwae… that’s impossible.

“And…” He starts again.

“You also think I’m handsome, I smell great, then mmphhh, I have a killer body-built, and you also think that I’m someone who thinks that every girl will go crazed of me. Now tell me, which part of these that are wrong Tiffany-sshi?”

He smirks… really. Now, he really shows his evil smirk. Omo… how come he knows everything that I texted to Kyuhyun. Damn it! There must be an explanation for this.

“How come… how…”

I can’t finish everything as he stares at me right now. I'm just mesmerized there with his stare. I’m frozen. I’m nervous. Omona… I’m caught. I can’t even think so I turn my head to avoid his eyes. What should I do? Is my face reddened?

“Blame yourself for texting me instead of texting your friend Tiffany-sshi. Keke.”

Oh dear… did I send it by mistake? Stupid! No wonder he knew everything.

“By any chance Tiffany-sshi, do you actually like me and seek for my attention? Keke.”

He teasingly asks me and somehow I manage to stand up. I’m so embarrassed now, really. I’m also guilty because I totally cursed him in that text. If there’s a word that could describe which state I’m in right now, it will be humiliated. I’m so damn ashamed now that running is the only way out I can think of. Maybe I’m too overreacting but I just blamed my unstable condition. Having experienced all of these things in one day really makes me lost.

But why can’t I answer his last question? I surely don’t like him. Chinja!

However, I’m just about to run but then he gets me right before I can touch the door. He stops me by pulling my right hand. I rebel of course. I don’t want to lose. It’s just so embarrassing now. I keep rebelling when all of the sudden the world is spinning. All the thing that I know when I open my eyes is he’s in front of me.

It needs few more seconds for me to realize that we both just fall from the fighting we had before. We fell on the floor with me being on top of him. Oh well, I fall on him but thanks to him I don’t get injured.

And I really don’t realize that Kyuhyun is standing there. He just opened the door.

“Oh my effing God. Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you two. Please continue…”

He says then shuts the door and leaves. Ahhhhhhhh…! Life is full of surprises I guess.

Yoona’s POV

“What’s this?”

Do my ears deceive me? Did I really just hear his voice? I break the kiss and turn 180 degrees to find him there in fact.

“Hae-ah…”

Hyukjae-oppa speaks.

“Yah! Im Yoona… what’s this?”

He shouts to overcome the rain so Hyukjae-oppa and I can hear him.

“Well, just call me big-headed but I think you are still hanging me. You gave me some hope when I told you I wanted you to be my girlfriend and then you kiss another man in front of my eyes now?! Aishhh, seriously Im Yoona, you’re really an expert at hurting people.”

I’m lost in words and he uses my silence to continue.

“And you Lee Hyukjae, really I can’t believe this. Just last night you were hearing me nicely, showing how much you cared for me. You also said that I can always have your support but then what’s this?”

I think I can see his tears. Well, I’m not sure though. It’s raining so maybe I was wrong.

“What’s this now? Do you have any guts to call yourself a friend?”

Then he turns his whole body, walking hurriedly to leave us. I’m so afraid of what’s going to happen actually but then he just left like that. I can see disappointment on his face but… I don’t know. Should I care?

“Hae-ah… wait!!!”

Hyukjae-oppa suddenly stands up and runs in the rain.

“Oppa!”

I shout to him and he stops himself from chasing his bestfriend.

“Where are you going?”

I bravely ask him. I already know the answer of course. He is chasing his bestfriend but I do really hope that he’ll stay instead. I hope he’ll choose me.

“Yo… Yoo-na… I’m sorry…”

“Again? Sorry again?” I comment. I think I know his answer. Of course Lee Donghae is much more important than me for him.

“I ne-need to ch-chase him r-right now. Sorry… I’m re-really sorry…”

He is crying also and I’m sure of it. He then takes off his bag and throws it to the ground so he can run more comfortably. He is leaving me, leaving me here with the rain.

I walk to where his bag is. I take his small book that was scattered out from his bag when he threw it down. It’s a dictionary, an English dictionary. I open it and I find a word that he marked before. I think he just encircled this word with his pen but then the ink is slowly disappeared by the rain.

I read the word and I ponder a lot.

I wonder… will my road and his road somehow ever come together at a certain junction?

I wonder if Hyukjae-oppa loves me too.

I wonder why it’s so hard to tell him that he’s been always my crush for freaking stupid 9 years.

I wonder if everything is going to be alright.

Donghae’s POV

“Hae!!!” I can hear him shouting.

“Hae-ah!”

“Damn it Lee Donghae! Wait me!”

He’s getting closer from my back.

I don’t want him to chase me actually. Isn’t it better to stay with Yoona? Stupid Hyukkie!

“Hae-ahh… please… wait for me.”

He finally succeeds to chase me and he stops me by grabbing my shoulder and turning my whole body to face him.

“Hae… we need to talk. It’s not like what you saw. It’s…”

“It’s what? Come on Lee Hyukjae… I’m not blind. You are absolutely kissing, well… even in the rain! Great move!” I try to sound really sarcastic and annoying.

“But Hae… that’s not supposed to happen… I really don’t plan it. Really Hae… I…”

“Just answer me now.” I cut him.

“Lee Hyukjae… do you love Yoona? Do you love that girl? Please be honest.”

I cry but thanks to the rain I can disguise my tears. He doesn’t answer though.

“I’m ing waiting for your answer Lee Hyukjae.”

And then he nods as his answer. Damn!!! I don’t expect it. It’s really hurting. It is really hurting.

“And so… why didn’t you tell me in the first place?” I ask him again.

“I… I… I’m sorry Hae… I know she’s yours and I know that… that I should have told you but I can’t. I really can’t Hae. I can’t take her from you. You are my bestfriend and… I’m willing to give up.”

He stares at me. Our eyes meet now.

“DAMN IT YOU ING IDIOT!!! DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M MAD AT YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU KISSED HER?!!!”

“Ehhh? So what then? Is there any other reason?” He innocently asks me and this really pisses me off.

“All of my life… yes all of my life Hyukkie… I never feel like this… like I’m inhuman…”

I stop for a moment.

“What’s really hurting me… do you want to know what’s really hurting me?” Hyukkie nods to my question.

“The fact that I forced you to lie. The way you lied just for the sake of my own happiness. The fact that you let me be selfish. The fact that you put me in the king’s throne… laughing for my authority while I don’t know my own bestfriend is hurting because of me! Come on Hyukkie… do you think I don’t value our friendship?”

He cries even more, aishhhh, spoiled Hyukkie!

“It’s not because you kissed her… really… not because you kissed Yoona…”

Ahhh chinja, why can’t my tears compromise now? They just made me sobbing but I still manage to continue.

“It’s because I feel betrayed by you… I feel betrayed for the fact you never trust me. Think about it again Lee Hyukjae… have you ever trusted me? For what I can remember, I’m always the one who talk and you’re forever listening. You really make me believe you are doing alright while you’re not in fact. I really want to listen too, really! I want to be someone you can ask for support and help too.”

I pause again for few seconds.

“So why won’t you let me be the one you can trust? Why? Why did you lead me to become a selfish person?”

He can’t answer me. We’re in the silent state again. The rain is the only noise.

“Whatever… it’s always like this. You’re always so quiet. You never trust me and it’s useless waiting for your response.”

And then I turn around after saying that, ready to leave him when I’m suddenly pulled to face him and a punch is quickly landed on my cheek.

“Aww!!! Damn!!!”

I exclaim. It hurts. Damn!

“That’s for hurting Yoona!” He says and then he gives me an uppercut.

“That’s for hurting me!!!” He says again and then he gives another uppercut.

“And that’s for thinking I never trust you!!!”

I’m completely down. I never realize that Hyukkie is this strong. Man… he’s so good at fighting. I’m taken down by his last uppercut but I manage to stand up again.

“Lee Donghae… It’s ok if you’re mad at me because I kiss Yoona. Really it’s ok. It’s ok for me if I need to hush my feelings towards her so you can be with her… I’m ok with that!”

He says calmly but anger and agony can be recognized in his voice.

“BUT IT’S ING HURTING TO HEAR YOU SAYING I NEVER BELIEVE IN YOU… DO YOU KNOW THAT?!”

Then he explodes… somehow… I’m happy to see him being like this. It’s really the very first time I’m seeing him so emotional.

I guess it is right to say that people who can really hurt you so badly are those who are actually the closest with you. Both of us are indeed hurting.

Later, I don’t know for how long it lasts already… maybe an hour… or maybe more, I find myself lying on the ground with the rain keeps falling on me. My stomach hurts, my cheeks hurt, my head hurts… really… They’re all hurting. I can’t even feel the pain actually now as I become so numb for numerous fists and kicks from Hyukkie.

Not far from me, I know he is sprawling on the ground as well, suffering from my fists and kicks. In the end, there’s no one of us standing as the winner. No one wins. Besides, winning or losing are nothing for us now.

We both know that we just need to do this… it’s aimless probably but we’re satisfied. Well, at least I am for sure. I’m so relieved.

Yeah, strangely… I’m feeling relieved.

For the first time, I’m not being selfish and I am being taken down. I’m really at the lowest of the downs. But I’m relieved.

Honestly, when I saw Yoona kissed Hyukkie, my heart shattered into pieces for an unexplained reason. I still can’t say I’m jealous. I don’t know though if it’s jealous or not.

What Hyukkie doesn’t know, I actually have found Yoona and him even before Yoona read the tale. I have seen and observed them ever since and I’m so convinced that Hyukkie has fallen in love with Yoona. I’m so sure judging from the way he speaks and acts in front of her.

That’s when I realize how stupid and cruel I am. I’m so much in guilty for not noticing this from the beginning. I’m really a terrible friend for not being able to support him. I’m really useless for letting him down in order to lift me up.

And when Yoona kissed him, I gain all of my strengths to show up. I want to provoke him. I want to see him fighting for Yoona.

However, nothing from what I said before is a lie. They’re really the truth that comes from my heart. And this is the only way to make Hyukkie fighting for her.

Ok, maybe I’m a bit jealous but that’s not the priority. Yoona is another problem between us. It’s such different thing.

I close my eyes and slowly I remember about how he said he always loses to me.

I think about it… should I let him win this time? For once then… should I give up intentionally?!

I then open my eyes, trying to stand up. When I finally can stand, I walk to where he is now and I offer my hand. Rain is still falling on us.

He grabs my hand and I pull him up, helping him to stand. I release the grab and then walk again. No more talk needed I think.

“Hae… you’re the only friend I have…”

He says… probably begging for… I don’t know what to call it actually. Hmmm, reconciliation maybe.

However, I coldly reply to him.

“Well… you have Yoona with you right now.”

Then I start walking again but he’s so stubborn.

“But it’s different Hae!”

“What’s the difference? You said you love her right?” He nods as the agreement to my last question.

“Unfortunately Lee Hyukjae… We pick the same girl… You want her and so do I. By putting them together, we’re now rivals!”

No more combat from him so I take it as goodbye.

##########
 

A/N
Ahhh, finally can update again. I think it’s too long though but I need to write them all. I hope you like this chapter as well. Hmmm, I wonder if I’ve already described how Donghae’s feelings well. Do you understand what I mean there? Also Hyukkie’s feelings. I hope you do but ahhh, sorry if it’s confusing for you. Sometimes, I believe that friendship between guys can be really strong actually.

And about Fany… I think you’re going to ask me about her real reason to be so sensitive. Hmmmmm… maybe you’ll have many other questions also like:
1. How Yoong got the crush on Hyukkie
2. Why Taeyeon and Fany upset
3. Whether YoonHyuk is official right now or not
4. Etc

I’m sorry for leaving you with many questions but I can’t write down what I’ve had in my mind in one blink so one by one you’ll know the answer . I hope you can drop some comments, thanks.