Oh HaNi

I think it’s a miracle for two people to like each other at the same time.

One day, will that miracle come true for me too?

 

~

 

My steps were heavy as I walked back into the house, my head hung low.

 

SeungJo and EunJo followed in behind me in silence as we made our way upstairs into our respective rooms.

 

It had been a month after the death of Nori and yet the young carefree smile of the young boy remained embedded in my mind.

 

I dropped my handbag on the couch and face planted directly into the bed, exhausted from all the tension and stress from the recent weeks.

 

I shuddered involuntarily as a warm hand landed on the small of my back and gently caressed me in a circular motion.

 

I turned my head to the side to face SeungJo. He sat on the edge of the bed next to me, with one hand on my back and the other elbow propped up on his knee with his forehead buried in his palm. His back was hunched and the muscles in his shoulder and neck tensed.

 

“SeungJo-ah” I whispered quietly.

 

He turned his head in his hand towards my direction to show that he was listening.

 

“Are you okay?” I whispered.

 

He sighed heavily.

 

I crawled up from under his touch and pulled myself into a sitting position on his side. SeungJo’s arm instinctively wrapped around my waist and pulled me close, so that the entire length of the left side of my body was pressed against him. Out of habit I rested my head on his shoulder.

 

Early that day began the mourning and funeral ceremony of Nori. It was after his death did the hospital realize that Nori was an orphan, his parents were divorced and both got remarried with new family’s that lived abroad. The hospital tried to contact his parents however his mother was unreachable and his father completely ignored the hospital’s request for him to travel back to Korea to see his son for the last time.

 

From the moment that I heard that Nori’s family had abandoned him at a time like this, impeccable rage rose within me.

 

I had several fellow nurse colleagues hold me back from attacking the phone and screaming directly back at the father who had done this to an innocent child.

 

In the end I broke down in tears in the middle of the hallway, my colleagues had left me alone to give me space to calm down.

 

It was SeungJo who had found me in the hallway 10 minutes later and rushed to my side thinking something was wrong.

 

New unknown tears spilled over my eyes as SeungJo knelt down next to me and pulled me into a tight embrace.

 

I explained everything to him as he brought me in a teary mess towards an empty waiting area in the hospital. He sat me down on the seat and knelt in front of me clutching my hands tightly in his.

 

I chocked out Nori’s parents situation before behind tears hiccups.

 

However, SeungJo didn’t at all look surprised.

 

He had already known.

 

At that moment he looked up at me and gripped my hands tightly, “HaNi-ah, lets hold Nori’s funeral in place of his family.”

 

I looked back at SeungJo wide eyed.

 

At that moment SeungJo pulled out a folded tattered piece of paper. It looked like it was ripped out of a notebook.

 

He pressed it into my palm.

 

I looked at him in question, however he didn’t meet my eyes.

 

Carefully I unfolded the piece of paper, to find a young child’s handwriting.

 

Dear Diary,

 

Can you believe it? I finally met with SeungJo hyung again!

Even though I’ve come back to the hospital again, I’m happier than ever.

 

I understand that I don’t have a long time left to stay in this world, however I would like for my last memories to remain happy memories.

 

My happiest memory in this lifetime remains the time when SeungJo hyung, Hani noon and EunJo stayed with me in the family. They treated me like a family that I never had.

 

SeungJo, hyung strong and capable, smart and caring, just the type of person I wish was my father.

 

HaNi noona, with her clumsy fingers, but warm and caring heart and personality brought life and love to my life, just the type of person I wish was my mother.

 

EunJo, my one and only friend, cared and listened to me in times of need, played with me and let me experience exciting things in life. As a friend, a companion, a brother.

 

To the closest thing I have to a family,

 

I love you

 

Nori.

 

Tears brimmed over the edge of my eyes and dripped onto the already tattered piece of paper.

 

SeungJo looked up at me with serious eyes, “Will you be Nori’s family with me?”

 

I nodded.

 

SeungJo smiled and pulled me into a tight embrace.

 

Since that day, SeungJo and I took the role of Nori’s “parents” and arranged everything for his funeral.

 

From this morning SeungJo, EunJo and I set out at dawn to prepare everything for the funeral.

 

It was a quiet ceremony, as Nori didn’t have many friends, because he spent most of his life in the hospital.

 

SeungJo’s kiss on my forehead brought me back to the present, and I smiled.

 

He caught my left hand with his free hand and absentmindedly traced patterns on the back of my hand.

 

His hand that was around my waist pulled me closer as his hand snuck around the front to my almost non-existent baby bump.

 

I was only 2 months into my pregnancy and so my baby bump had not yet started showing. However, SeungJo held his hand there, caressing my belly gently.

 

“I hope no one will ever have to experience as much pain as Nori has.” I said quietly. “I want our child to grow up happily and healthy in a whole caring family.”

 

“Of course, we must give nothing less of that” said SeungJo.

 

I looked up at him and watched him smile.

 

It was the first time in weeks since I had seen him smile, I couldn’t help but grin back.

 

~

 

3 Months Later

 

“Yah! Oh HaNi, how come you’re still working?” Nurse Lee exclaimed as I walked into the nurses office after my afternoon shift.

 

“I’m planning on working for as long as possible,” I smiled.

 

“B-But, your getting so… big…” she exclaimed.

 

I looked down at my baby bump and smiled. By now I couldn’t even see my feet. I rubbed my belly affectionately and smiled, “Yes, the baby is getting quite big”

 

“Isn’t Doctor Baek worried? Shouldn’t he tell you to stop working?” asked Nurse Kwon from her desk.

 

“He understands how hard I worked to become a nurse, so he knows just how much I want to work for as long as possible,” I said.

 

I sat down gingerly at the table in relief, finally able to rest my feet.

 

Both Nurse Lee and Nurse Kwon came over to me to crowd around me and began to coo and rub at my baby bump.

 

“Oh My Gosh! I just felt the baby kick!” exclaimed Nurse Lee.

 

“Let me feel!” said Nurse Kwon excitedly.

 

I laughed at their reactions.

 

My reaction was just as surprised as theirs when I felt the baby kick for their first time. At the time it was just a small tap, but soon after the tapping became more dominant.

 

That was the first time that the reality of motherhood loomed directly on my doorstep.

 

SeungJo and I decided that we would keep the gender a surprise till the end.

 

I wanted it because I enjoyed the excitement and anticipation before our baby was born.

 

I think SeungJo just wanted it to be a secret so that mother wouldn’t be able to buy so much baby items and clothing before the baby was born.

 

Mother wasn’t too happy with our decision as that limited her grandchild shopping to only white and yellow clothing.

 

“Yah!”

 

The voice snapped me back to reality, Nurse Kwon, Nurse Lee and I all turned around to see Head Nurse Kim standing in the doorway.

 

“Oh HaNi, Doctor Baek is waiting for you in the hospital staff car park, he told me that if you aren’t there in 5 minutes then he’s going home without you.” She said.

 

My eyes widened, I jumped to my feet and ran for my locker to grab my belongings.

 

My colleagues watched in amazement as a 6 month pregnant lady ran and crashed around the office gathering her belongings and then bolting out the door with amazing speed.

 

As I bolted down the hallway I heard Head Nurse Kim yell behind me, “Be careful! Don’t hurt yourself!”

 

I turned around while running, smiled and waved back at her.

 

I ran to the elevators and pressed the button for the basement. I checked my watch and noticed I still had 2 more minutes before SeungJo would leave.

 

Knowing SeungJo he would leave precisely on time, not a minute later.

 

Before the elevator door had fully opened I had already squeezed through and pelted down through the car park to where SeungJo normally parks his car.

 

I turned the corner sharply and skidded a few meters forward to a stop directly in front of SeungJo’s car.

 

I looked triumphantly towards the driver seat. SeungJo sat there in the seat staring at me with wide eyes.

 

I walked over to the passenger, opened it up and slid awkwardly inside.

 

SeungJo looked over at me, with a stony expression on his face.

 

I smiled at him, with sweat pouring down my forehead, “I made it! “ I quickly checked my watch, “With 15 seconds to spare”.

 

SeungJo sighed heavily and shook his head in disbelief, as he started the car and drove out of the car park.

 

~

 

“Mother, can I have another bowl of rice?” I asked after stuffing the last spoonful of rice in my mouth.

 

“Ofcourse darling!, You must eat as much as possible, you are no longer only feeding yourself.” She smiled and took my bowl to the rice cooker.

 

“You fatso…” grumbled EunJo, from across the table.

 

I looked up at him with a glare.

 

He looked up at me, “It’s not like I’m not telling the truth, that’s your 3^rd bowl of rice already!” he exclaimed.

 

“I’m hungry,” I said objectively.

 

“Yah, Baek EunJo, be more polite to your sister-in-law,” said mother as she came back with another full bowl of rice and handed it to me.

 

EunJo huffed and went back to eating his rice.

 

He suddenly turned around and whispered something in SeungJo’s ear, causing him to laugh and flick his younger brother’s forehead.

 

“But its true!” exclaimed EunJo, rubbing his ear, “I can just imagine it…” he shuddered exaggeratedly.

 

“Yes I can imagine it as well, and I’m sure it would be fine either way.” Said SeungJo.

 

“Well, it’s your life, you’re the one who’s going to suffer going on like this,” grumbled EunJo.

 

“Who said its suffering?” said SeungJo.

 

Both mother and I just looked at the pair of brothers in question.

 

~

 

Later that night SeungJo lay down gently next to me after his shower, ready to go to sleep.

 

Normally he would sleep on the very edge of the bed so that he could give me enough space to sleep and move around with my big belly, as he understands perfectly that I am a restless sleeper.

 

Tonight was different as he scooted close to me so that my baby bump was touching his abdomen.

 

He touched his forehead to me as he gently caressed my belly.

 

“What did EunJo say to you earlier?” I asked interested.

 

SeungJo hesitated, “Are you sure you want to hear?”

 

I nodded firmly.

 

SeungJo leaned forward towards me ear, “ Oh HaNi is going to be one interesting mother in the future, let’s just hope that the child doesn’t inherit her brains. Hwaiting Hyung”.

 

 

I felt SeungJo smile.

~~~

 

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