Kai

“Look at the kid. He looks like he won the lottery,” Chen whispered to Lay.

“Huh? What?” Lay looked disoriented as usual, taking off his purple earphones.

“Kai. He’s smiling from ear to ear. Is something going on?”

“I don’t think so… The urinal must have made him extra happy today.”

Chen deadpanned. “Lay, sometimes you just don’t make sense.”

Kai was oblivious to his group mates, replaying the conversation with Clumsy over and over in his head. If Kai was being honest with himself, there was nothing special with the conversation. He helped her up, they exchanged pleasantries, and she was gone. No flirting, no signals to say she was interested. It’s not like you were giving her signals, either, you brat. If you initiated some sort of “Hey, I like you,” then she’d probably say “Yeah, me too! Let’s go on a date.” I mean, how could she not, when you’re drop-dead gorgeous?

He scratched his head. The bigger question was, why weren’t her paws all over him? Did she not like him? But she said she was a fangirl. Sure, she was nervous, but she’s not reacting like…how normal fangirls react.

“Hey, Kyungsoo-hyung! Do you think I’m hot?” Kai suddenly turned to his best friend.

“You need some sort of reassurance before going on stage?” D.O punched his arm. “You’re not y at all, you big baby.”

“Hyuuuung~!”

“You’re piping hot. Happy?” D.O shook his head and gently pushed Kai towards the stage.

For the first time, Kai danced to impress a certain someone. He winked. He smirked the smirk that made fangirls crazy. He turned an extra pirouette. He was energized. And deep down, he was hoping Clumsy was watching him.

Clarissa

Clarissa was smiling to herself as she ran up the stairs two steps at a time. Seeing Kai was a pleasant surprise—she forgot that Exo was recording every Sunday. There was just so much on her mind—unpacking, her new job, and him. Why can’t she let go of him?

She forced herself to think of something else. Kai’s so sweet. He even helped me up. She giggled, giddy to see him close up. Kai diverted her from her dark reality. Kai’s so much better than that jerk anyway. At least Kai wouldn’t hurt me. She mentally slapped herself. How can he? He’s a far-away star—too far to reach.

Clarissa knocked on the screen room door. “PD-nim, Boyoung-unni wanted to—woah. That’s so cool.“ There were about 20 TV screens facing her, with each screen showing a different angle of the stage. Twelve screens focused on each of the members of Exo, while the rest were used for wider shots of the stage.

“You can stay if you keep quiet,” the PD-nim said. “Ooo-kay. Turn to Camera 4. Good.”

Clarissa was having the time of her life. It was like a fancam for each member, but way more professional. It took all her willpower not to spazz all over the room. OMG, look! Baekhyun’s outfit is perfect on him today! Oh Sehun! Where have your arms been all my life?! My babies… She sighed. Why are they so perf? At first, Clarissa didn’t know where to look. But it finally settled on Kai. She gasped when he winked. He is one fiiiineee specimen. Unf. And then the perfect turns. How can he be so graceful?

“I just don’t think this relationship is working,” he couldn’t even look her in the eyes.

“What do you mean?” She let out a sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob. “A-are you breaking up with me?”

“Look. Maybe we’re getting tired of each other, maybe we just need space.”

I’m not tired of you. I don’t need any space. “And you’re willing to throw away those five years together?” She was incredulous. “I know no relationship is perfect, but we—we could work through this. Please, don’t do this. You’re all I know.” She was sobbing now.

“That’s my point. It’s been five years, and we’re going nowhere.”

“What did I do wrong? Is it because I don’t put make-up on? Is it because I was too clingy? Is it because I'm boring? Tell me. Tell me!”

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”

“Oh cut the bullcrap, Ryan!” She hated that she couldn’t even curse at him in her direst situation. “Did you find someone else? Someone prettier? Was I not enough for you?!”

He tried a different tactic. “Are you ready to spend the rest of your life with me?”

Yes! I’ve been dreaming of us growing old together, she wanted to say. “Is it because of someone else?” she insisted.

He finally nodded. “I think I’m in love with someone else.” He hung his head.

She was speechless. She sagged to the floor, crying, crying even when there were no longer tears to cry, crying long after he closed the door behind him.

Clarissa woke up gasping, tears in her eyes.