Kai

"Is it just me or do our hats look strangely similar?" She smiled at him, a twinkle in her eyes.

He laughed. "Oh yeah, huh? Maybe that's a sign."

"A sign? That what? Don't you think you're assuming things too quickly?" She was teasing him, and he relished every moment.

"I'm sorry. Am I scaring you away?" He feigned worry.

"Just a little bit. Not enough to leave you a second time, though." She let go of the teasing tone, apology deep in her eyes. She reached out across the table and held his, tightening her grip as if she's worried he might disappear.

Kai felt the remnants of the pain return to him. "Hey. What second time? We just met a few minutes ago." He kept his tone light.

She sighed softly, letting go of his hand. "You're right." She laughed. "I'm sorry. I don't usually initiate skinship with strangers, or anyone, actually."

He raised a brow at her, remembering their first kiss. "Right."

She blushed, most likely thinking of the same thing. She cleared before taking a quick sip of her drink—Caramel Macchiato.

“So, since I have nothing else planned for today, wanna just keep me company?” She looked up at him expectantly.

Kai pretended to think about it. “I don’t know…”

She pouted. “Fine. I can have fun by myself.”

“No, no, no! I can’t imagine a better way to spend my time.” It came out more serious than he’d intended.

“Alright.” Her features softened. “Well, creepy as it sounds, I already have the rest of the day planned. I was expecting company, you see.”

“You did?”

“Yep.” She looked at him, seeming to drink him in.

“Well, we better get out of here, then.” He quickly paid the bill before they headed out.

“Oh, wait!” She stopped him from exiting the coffee shop.

“Did you forget something?”

“Actually, yeah.” A smile spread through her lips. “I think I dropped my phone somewhere.” She walked back to where they were sitting. “Can I borrow your phone for a bit?”

“Sure, yeah.” He gave her a worried look before handing her his phone. He watched as she dialed her number before smiling in satisfaction.

“Whoops. I guess it was in my pocket after all.” She took it out and brandished it in front of him. She quickly saved her number on his phone before returning it to him.

Kai laughed at her, finally making sense of the refusal last week. “That actually is a pretty lame way to ask for someone’s number.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “I happen to like that method very much.”

They walked out of the café, smiling at another shared memory. Every so often, their fingers brushed, their shoulders gently bumping against each other’s.

“You know what, screw not initiating skinship.” She laced her fingers around his, smiling contentedly.

Kai felt himself warm up from inside out, reflecting the smile on her face. He was just about to do the same thing.

She led him to a store, and immediately, memories of their first date flooded back to him. It was a couple store.

“Find anything you like?” She gave him a smile, the two of them sharing an inside joke.

“Why? Will you buy it for me?” He played along.

“If it isn’t too expensive,” she nodded, serious.

He guffawed then. It seemed like a replica of their first date, but it somehow wasn’t. It’s something more special, better-deserved after braving a storm together.

She didn’t let go of his hand this time, holding on to him as they scanned the store together.

“Look!” She pointed to a table hidden into the store. Bracelets lined the table, linked together into beautiful pairs of promises. She let go of his hand briefly to take a simple silver bracelet from the pile, slipping it into Kai’s wrist. Taking the cue, Kai slipped the counterpart into hers. Perfect fit.

She repositioned their hands so they were intertwined again. “I’m taking these,” she smiled. Clarissa paid for the bracelets despite his protests.

“Why these?” He turned to her as they exited the store, knowing there was a deeper reason than ‘because it looks pretty.’

“Because it’s simple—there isn’t anything intricate about it. I want our relationship to be like this. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It could be just the way it is, a simple circular link that twirls into infinity.” She tugged his hand to a stop in the middle of the busy road, looking at him with such tenderness and love.

His heart felt like bursting out of his chest. Forget meeting each other just a few hours ago, forget that they were in public. He placed both hands on her cheeks, leaning in to kiss her, pouring out to her the emotions he kept bottled for the longest time—the longing, the desperation, the love he felt for her. “Thank you,” he finally whispered on her lips, breathless from the kiss.

A tear slipped from her eye, wetting his eyelashes. "I'm really sorry." Another tear fell.

"Shh. No, it's okay. We're here. We're here now, aren't we?" Kai wiped away the tears. She nodded.

"So where's the next stop?" He gave her another peck and a reassuring smile.

She smiled back, wiping the last few tears. "I wanted to try eating something."

He looked at her with curiosity. "Lead the way, then."

They weaved their way through the crowd, unseen by the public. It was just another couple going out on a regular date, Nerd and Slob . Kai felt so free.

“Here it is,” her voice contained so much excitement. They stopped in front of a snack stand filled with fish-shaped food.

“붕어빵 (carp cake)? I guess we didn’t get to try that the last time,” he smiled.

“Nope. I’m really curious as to what it tastes like.”

They ordered two, one for him and one for her. “Ready?” Clarissa’s excitement was contagious. He wanted so badly to see how she’d like the snack.

“Yup!” She took a bite, only to gasp in surprise. “It’s sweet!”

He laughed. “What were you expecting?”

“Shouldn’t it be salty? It’s fish-shaped!” She was laughing now.

“It’s made with red bean paste,” he took another bite, laughing with her.

“It’s really good, though!” She started chewing on a bigger bite.

“아주머니 (Ahjumeoni), give us two more, please.” He was smiling so widely.

Soon, the first fish breads were gone. Kai watched her, feeling his heart fill with happiness just seeing her eat. Suddenly, she pushed her fish bread close to his mouth, smiling at him.

“They say it’s rude to stare.”

He took a bite out of the extended bread, smiling because of the indirect kiss. A lot of things were making him smile today.

“I can’t really say I’m sorry.” He shrugged his shoulders, continuing to watch her.

“Stop it!” She giggled, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

“I don’t know how to.”

“You’re frustrating, you cheesy, cheesy guy.” She couldn’t wipe away the smile off her face.

"But you love me anyway, right?" It came out hesitant. Everything about today was as perfect as could be, but there was still uncertainty in the air, questions that remained unanswered. What if she disappeared again? He still trusted her, but a part of him was always uneasy now.

"Don't you think you're being a little too slick now, Mr. Jongin? We just met, remember?" She dodged the question.

And although he laughed it off, the uncertainty only grew inside of him.

"Come on, buddy. We have a lot more to do." She pushed him along after they finished their snack.

“We do?”

“Of course. I told you I’ve got it all planned.” She smiled a secret smile. Kai noticed that the crowd was getting thinner and thinner.

“Where exactly are we going?”

“Don’t worry. We’re almost there.”

They finally reached their destination, a small park tucked into the outskirts of the urban area.

“I didn’t know this existed,” Kai looked in awe at the landscape.

“It’s so weird, huh? One minute we’re in a mall, then the next we’re in a park.”

Kai nodded, still taking the surroundings in.

“Let’s take a walk, shall we?” She smiled, holding her hand out in invitation.

“We shall,” he smiled back, taking a hold of her hand. She’s recreating our moments together.

A comfortable silence blanketed the two of them as they took to the trail.

“Why Korea?” he suddenly asked. He’s been curious for a while.

“Huh?” She looked up at him.

“I mean, there were probably other job offers. You could’ve moved somewhere else in America. It’s a pretty big place. So why Korea?”

She thought about it for a few beats. “I don’t know, either. It didn’t have the highest starting salary. It didn’t have the best benefits, either. But something was just telling me this was it. So I went with my gut, and here we are.”

“Do you regret it?” Kai heard himself ask. He didn’t mean to show his insecurities, but it was now out in the open.

She looked at him in surprise. “What would make you ever think that?”

“I don’t know.” He looked at the ground. In the end, he couldn’t pretend everything was suddenly okay again. It felt like they weren’t addressing the humongous elephant in the room.

“Jongin. Hey. Look at me.” She furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t regret coming here. Not at all. I wouldn’t have met you otherwise.”

“But I have too much baggage.” He couldn’t stop the emotional avalanche.

“I’m standing right here, though, holding your hand. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“It does,” he trailed off.

“But…?” She gently asked.

“But you walked away once.” There. He said it. He left the rest unspoken. You can do it again.

Pain flashed across her face.

“I did. And it’s a decision I’ll regret the rest of my life.” Her grip tightened around his hand.

Kai didn’t know how to respond.

“But I guess things really do happen for a reason. It made me realize something really important.” She paused, waiting for him to take the bait.

“And what is that?”

She stopped the two of them, waiting for him to face her so they’re eye to eye. “I can’t imagine going on living without you. Those three months…” She took in a ragged breath. “Those three months were excruciating. I can’t call it living—it was just me going through the motions.” She looked like she was reliving her personal hell.

“You probably think I’m taking our separation lightly from what’s happened today so far. I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant at all. Truth is, I’ve been preparing this whole day so it could lead up to this moment. But it came earlier than expected…” She laughed nervously, letting go of his hand. “See, I… I don’t deserve you at all, Jongin. Not after what I did to you.” She looked at her feet, feeling a tide of emotion wash over her.

Kai looked at her incredulously. Was the whole day a gentle way to let him down? “Is this another break-up?”

“No!” She looked up. “I want it to be your decision this time. I got scared, so I ran away. I don’t deserve you, Jongin. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be selfish and hold on to you. So I want to ask you this time… will you still accept me? Can you take me back even after what I did? I’d understand if you don’t.” Kai saw the fear in her eyes.

Kai felt himself relax. “You weren’t the only one living through hell. I don’t think I’ve been doing so hot either the last couple of months.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I can’t imagine a better way of spending the day.”

“Is that a yes or a no?” Her expression was more hopeful this time, albeit still tinged with hesitation and worry.

Instead of answering, he held out his hand to her, silently asking her to dance with him. It was the best way for him to express himself. It also seemed fitting since the whole day became an homage of sorts to their past encounters. She took his hand without asking questions this time.

BGM- Wanted

He pulled her close to him, breathing in the citrus scent he missed. “I’ll sing you a song this time.” He swayed them in a gentle side-to-side motion.

You know I'd fall apart without you
I don't know how you do what you do
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
Makes sense when I'm with you

Like everything that's green, girl, I need you
But it's more than one and one makes two
Put aside the math and the logic of it
You gotta know you're wanted too.

Kai felt wetness on his shirt as she started sobbing. He stopped swaying and moved his hands so they wrapped around her. “The answer’s yes. I can’t imagine life without you, either.” He felt a lump on his throat. “I want us to put aside the logic of everything. Maybe we’re being reckless. Maybe we don’t know the extent of the repercussions. But I’m willing to put all of that on a risk. I’m hoping that you could do the same. I’m hoping that you’re willing to take that leap of faith with me.” He was crying now.

She nodded into his chest. “I’m sorry for not being courageous enough the first time.”

He rested his chin on her head, feeling the uncertainty ebb away.

“But thank you for giving me a second chance,” she sobbed. “We’re coming back to each other more prepared this time. And I promise I’ll never run away again.”

That was all Kai wanted to hear. He believed her, heart, body, and soul.

“You know what the most painful part was in the last three months? Knowing I didn’t try hard enough to make things work. Knowing I caused you a world of pain. I couldn’t live with myself.” She started crying harder. “I don’t want that to happen again. If I have to go through hell and back to make this relationship work, I will.”

She pulled away from the hug. “I know there’s a lot at stake. I know you probably can’t introduce me to the world. I know I’ll remain a secret. But that’s okay. I know this date won’t probably happen again soon, but that’s okay too. Because if there’s one thing I learned from that awful decision, it’s that I love you, Kim Jongin. Nothing can change that fact.” She hugged him tighter.

How long had he been waiting for those three words? “I love you too, Clarissa. I love you so much.”

They cried in each other’s arms for a long time, crying tears of release, of relief, of redemption. There were still so many questions left to be answered, but for now, there’s no hurry to answer them. Answers will come someday.

Perhaps love requires small steps of rationalization to build a foundation. But it’s the leap of faith they take that builds their road to a future together. And for now, that is enough.

--

30 chapters and 30,731 words later, here we are. There's such a finality to checking 'Mark Story Complete.' Wow. I don't really know how I feel. All I want to say is, Thank you to all of you guys. I don't know how I would've made it through this whole journey without you guys. For those of you who'd been with me since day one, I want to thank you. I will forever be in awe of your consistent support. You know who you are. 

For those of you who joined me at a later point, I want to thank you as well. Thank you for staying with me through the rest of the fiction. I know there were some pretty frustrating chapters, but y'all have stayed. You know who you are.

For those of you who took the time to comment, even if it was just once, I want to sincerely give you a big bear hug. You've been my companion while I wrote this er. It's you guys who encourage me to keep writing. It's you guys who helped me make it all the way till the end.

I know it's a relatively short fiction, but it was my first and longest work, so I'm genuinely feeling sad and nostalgic. But all I want to say is, I'm so glad to have written The Foreigner, because I seriously have the best readers. I know I always say that, but I can't say it enough. You guys made this possible. So thank you. Thank you very, very much.

Goodbye for now!

nchopsticks.