Difficult...

나비~Butterfly

 

[three months later] {Amber's POV}
 
I took a sip from the coffee mug I had in my hand and looked out the window as I saw the snow falling. The door to the cafe opened and I looked up to see Kyungsoo shaking off the snow from his shoes. He saw me and smiled and I returned it with one of my own. He walked over to the table and I handed him his mug as he settled himself on the seat across from me. 
 
“How are you?” I asked.
 
He smiled, “I'm better.”
 
I nodded and took another drink of my coffee.
 
“I actually called you to meet up because I want to confess something.” He said nervously.
 
I looked up and crossed my arms over the table. “I'm listening.”
 
He looked down at his lap, taking a deep breath before finally looking up at me. “I like... I-I... No. I've fallen in love.”
 
I sighed, “I know. And you're nev-”
 
“I've fallen in love with Chanyeol.” He blurted out. 
 
I widened my eyes and almost dropped my jaw but kept my mouth shut.
 
“It started out as a small crush during our last year in high school but then he became the shoulder I leaned on during those times I wanted to get away from everything. He started to make me feel safe and happy. His smile would always brighten my day. He would be the one to help me when I got stuck on my homework. I've fallen so hard to the point that I wish to see him everyday, to touch him, to hear his voice...just everything. I've never felt this strong for someone and to be honest it scares me a little. I don't know what to do. I've held this in for almost a year.”
 
I held up my hand and smacked him on the top of his head. “Babo!”
 
“Ow!” He rubbed his head. “What was that for?”
 
“You're so stupid! Both of you!” I whispered yelled. “Kyungsoo, you shouldn't be scared. Just tell him. Trust me.”
 
“Amber, I don't know if I can.”
 
I looked up as I heard the door open and smiled, “Here's your chance. Do it before you regret not doing it.”
 
~[Kyungsoo's POV]
 
I was about to ask her what she was talking about when I suddenly looked behind me and saw him standing at the door. He smiled and waved at me and I waved back then turned to Amber in panic. 
 
“I can't!” I tried to get out of my seat to run to the bathroom or something. I needed to escape before Amber got her hands on me.
 
Amber was quick though and she grabbed my hands and I froze and could see Chanyeol on his way over to our table and knew I couldn't escape now. Amber let me go when she saw I wouldn't try to run and then stood up as Chanyeol reached the table.
 
“Hey Chanyeol! I was just about to leave. Have to study for class.” She said in a cheerful voice as I glared at her back.
 
Chanyeol smiled, “Okay. Tell Yixing I said hi by the way. He hasn't been answering my calls today.”
 
That's weird.
 
Amber's smile fell a little before she put it up again. “I'll try.”
 
Okay that is very weird. Why would she say that? Is he not answering her calls either?
 
“Are you guys okay?” Chanyeol asked before flinching, “I mean... Sorry. I shouldn't be asking you stuff like that.”
 
Amber kept smiling, “Um, yeah. I really have to go now. Bye.” She ran out of the cafe.
 
Chanyeol took a seat in the same chair as Amber, across me. He sighed and looked at me. “So how are you? I heard that Junmyeon is coming back?”
 
I smiled slightly, “Yep. He's coming back in seven weeks.”
 
“Ah. I bet you're really excited.” Chanyeol smiled wide at me.
 
I laughed, “A little. I'm more worried about Amber.”
 
“She's been with Yixing for almost two years and I don't think they're breaking up any time soon. Sure they're having some issues but what couple doesn't. I'm not that worried unless he's cheating or something.”
 
“Yixing is too loyal to do that. He doesn't seem like the type...”
 
“The quiet and innocent ones are the ones you should keep a close eye on.” 
 
What he said was actually making sense but I knew deep down that Yixing would never think of hurting her. He loves her too much and I'm glad to be able to witness the love they share for each other, though sometimes it gets a little too much that I have to look away. 
 
“No classes today?” Chanyeol said, bringing back from my thoughts.
 
I shook my head, “No.”
 
“Then join me to go pick up Sehun? He's been wanting to see you again.”
 
I laughed, “That's a lie. He's hated me since those days when I liked Amber.” Not that I don't now but it's more in a friendly way now.
 
“I remember the first time when you came over without Junmyeon and he kept glaring at you.” Chanyeol laughed.
 
I smiled as I remembered how short Sehun was before and those glares that made him look like a puppy trying to be a dog. He was so adorable, still is actually.
 
Just tell him. Trust me.’ 
 
Amber's last words seemed to give me the courage I needed since I didn't have it with her and look what happened. I was not about to let it happen again.
 
“There's actually something I want to tell you but maybe somewhere with less people.” I said looking up expectantly at him.
 
Chanyeol's eyes widened a little before nodding with a small smile on his face. We both stood up from our seats and threw away our cups before heading out into the cold in the direction of the park where not many people were. 
 
I remembered something Sehun had told me once when I was left alone with him. 
 
If you're going to confess, do it soon. He's not going to wait forever.’ 
 
He told me that a month ago and I started to feel a little sick to my stomach of the realization that I may be too late but I ignored and focused on what I was going to do. Better late than never.
 
~[Yixing's POV]
 
It's been three days since I heard about Junmyeon coming back. I didn't know how to receive the news, to be happy or not. To be honest, I wasn't all that thrilled. Junmyeon was a good friend of mine all throughout high school but I also know that he went away for a reason. I think it's because he wanted to run away from the heartache he was going through from losing his chance. I don't think I'm ready for his return.
 
Amber was the one to send me the text. I avoided answering any calls from anyone after that, only answering my parents and Tao's calls. 
 
Tao had went to Canada with Kris to visit Kris's family. My parents were currently in China again since my father decided he didn't really have a reason to stay here any longer. So basically I'm a bit lonely except for having some of my close friends here. 
 
Chanyeol tried calling but I've just let it ring since I haven't really been in the mood to talk with anyone. Even my roommate, who is this other dance major named Lee Gikwang, told me to get out more but I ignored him and told him I just don't feel so well.
 
My phone is ringing again. I hope it's not Chanyeol again. I look at the caller ID and see that it's Baekhyun.
 
Why would he call me?
 
Before I made a decision whether to answer or not I had already slide my finger to answer the call and I didn't even put the phone against my ear before, “ZHANG YIXING! WHAT THE HELL!? YOU ! WHY HAVEN'T YOU ANSWERED AMBER'S CALLS!?” the yell heard around the world.
 
“Hello to you too Baekhyun.” I replied.
 
“Hi. NOW ANSWER ME!”
 
“I just did.”
 
“Look here a-”
 
“Okay okay. Geesh. Calm down will ya.” I heard him scoffing before he mumbled out a fine. I sighed, “Is Amber with you?”
 
“No but she called me on the verge of crying. And I know Amber is too stubborn to let just anyone see or hear her cry. What did you do?”
 
I sighed again and ran a hand through my hair. It's getting long. Might need to cut it soon. “You heard that Junmyeon is coming back right?”
 
“What does th-... Oh... Are you kidding me!?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“Last time I checked Amber is with you. She doesn't like Junmyeon, they're just friends. You need to stop thinking they still like each other. You're the one she says she loves. You're the one she can't stop thinking of everyday. You're the one she talks to everyone about, which is kind of annoying at times. She's not thinking, saying she loves, or talking about Junmyeon. An-”
 
“I'm leaving, Baekhyun.” There's that.
 
“Leaving?”
 
“I'm going to Japan in four days. I've been given the chance to study abroad for a year.”
 
“Are you serious? What about Amber? What about your friends?”
 
I sighed again, “It's a chance I won't be given again.”
 
“What's going to happen between you and Amber?”
 
I felt a knot in my throat form, “I-I'm going to have to let her go.”
 
“Why? Can't you just like use Skype or use the phone? It's only for a year.”
 
“I can't put her through that.”
 
“You shouldn't have to put her through anything! Seriously! It's one year. Why are you doing this!? Do you remember how long it took for her to fall in love and now you're just going to dump her after everything!? She freaking opened her heart for you. She trusted you!”
 
“Baekhyun plea-... Please don't make this any harder for me.” I tried to hold in the sob.
 
“No! You deserve to feel bad! Everyone trusted you to not break her and you're going to do just that.”
 
“I can't do another long distance relationship Baek! You know I can't. You know what happened the first time! I'm not going to go through that. I know that I leave it will make her sad to not have me there! This is easier than having to deal with the guilt of leaving my girlfriend alone. If I break up with her it will be easier for her. She'll hate me and someone will help her get over me and she can move on to someone better.”
 
“I hope she does.” That was the last thing I heard before I heard the line disconnect.
 
I dropped my hand with phone to my lap before flinging it at the wall, hearing the small cracking noise of the screen spliting, and let the tears flow from my eyes and shut my eyes tightly as I pulled at me hair. 

 

 

 


 

A/N: Hi. Please don't kill me! I'm so sorry. So sorry. /cries

This chapter was the hardest one to type and I had to stop in the middle of Baekhyun's and Yixing's talk to cry in corner about what the hell I was doing. But this story is meant to be bittersweet so... I guess it's showing a bit of that in this chapter. 

As always thank you for reading. I love you all. ; - ;

see you in the next chapter. (Yes this story is still not done.)

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saesoos
Last chapter... Please read the A/N's at the top and bottom. Top = before reading. Bottom = after reading.

Comments

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adelliaar #1
Chapter 26: Unexpected ending ㅇㅡㅇ seriously.....
Tomboy-kun
#2
Chapter 26: No SUHO WHY?!? Well I feel happy for jongdae even tho he didn't get much story light. I really enjoyed this story it was a roller coaster ride of feels. At first I definitely thought Amber was gonna end up with D.O but nope. A total plot twist. And omg it was so hard to choose which ship to root for but it the end it turned out well. Except for one that I will now cry for ;( anyways I loved ur story. It was RLLY awesome. Keep up the good work!
Annaoj
#3
Chapter 26: How about doing Jongdae's/Chen's POV..
ftmhratna #4
Nice fanfics, saya membaca dengan membuka kamus lol bahada inggris saya kurang bagus jadi beberapa kata yang sulit harus saya cari di kamus. Loveit! Keep shipping anyber! O/
MissLuhan #5
Chapter 26: Unexpected ending. I almost cry. ='(
mm0923 #6
Chapter 26: thanks for the story i kinda expected that jongdae would have amber since suho was so sick way before and jongdae did leave without a closure
nanathedirewolf
#7
Chapter 26: *cries ocean*
ajol_fxonee
#8
Chapter 26: Woaaahhh... Jongdae is the lucky one who could own the butterfly for himself!!!
Atleast there is hyunki as their Joonmyun-Amber belongs to!
So,finally suho is death n jongdae or chen is the one who have a chance to be with amber! How? I thought he already go away??? Hhhmmm..
ShidaM #9
Chapter 26: I understand why you ended it like this but WHYYYYYYYYY!?!
Nikayah
#10
Chapter 26: what a weeper... but i like it :)