Chapter 21:Remember?
Cursed Love
Jessica's P.O.V
Suprised...No
Flustered? Nope, not even close.
Shock? I consider that as an understatement if you were in my shoes and I know you will say the same after hearing what I had just heard.
Bewilderment...No...wait...maybe...no?...or yes? Yes! Definitely yes! I think this is perfect to describe my current situation. You may ask why, well first, let me tell you that meaning of bewilderment.
Bewilderment-confusion resulting from failure to understand.
Well that's my understanding when you say bewilderment well from what I have read,heard,saw and felt.
'I was blown out of my wits' Well you can say that. All of this, everything, started out with a simple question.
Hey, can I ask a question? Ummm...but you don't need to answer it though. Just listen to my question.
...
...
...
"Who am I?"I furrowed my eyebrows,no not because I'm trying to look for the answer but I'm actually trying to find the right reaction to this simple question that pretty much confused me to no ends as if my mind has been tangled to countless strings of confusion.
"I don't know why but I suddenly had an urge to ask this question. I know that you don't know me and I'm very certain that I don't know you but...I don't know, I just want to ask that question. I felt a heavy feeling that was inside of my chest and asking you that question was the only way that I can think of to get rid of whatever it is inside of this chest of mine. So who am I anyway? Hmmm...ah wait! I remember now!...wait...do I?...Umm...wait...let me think...who...am...I?...ah!...but I do know you! Gosh! How can I forget you? haha sorry. My mind is a little bit fuzzy. Now that I remembered that I know you...umm...can you tell me who I am 'cause I seriously can't remember.....hey...Jessica...please?"
This...
This is...
Someone please tell me what this is...
The one who had said everything...is not me but rather her.
My mind still can't forget what she had told me earlier. What she had stated, spoke and declared. Every single word that had left has been stored inside of my mind. Every.single.thing. From the 'who' to the 'please' everything is still there, fresh as if she had just said to me and here she is staring straight to my eyes, those adorable eyes that held nothing but confusion but there is no mistake that there was pain lingering in them. It was covered and well-hidden but I was able to notice it. That pain, I doubt that she knows that she has it right now because she is smiling ever so sweet towards me.
She was sitting on the side of her bed with her feet dangling on the edge while her arms are on top of her thighs. I looked away from her gaze as I looked at her right arm and leg that is covered with a cement and wrapped in a cast while her dextrose was placed on her left hand. She was swinging her feet as she waited for my answer. She looked like a cute puppy that survived after being ran over by a car but this time it's balls and bats.
"Uggh" With a grunt, I was able to sit up before I slowly slid my lower body on top of my bed towards the side to the left as I also let my feet dangle on the edge. Her bed was not far away from mine as my bed is only separated from her bed by a side table. Slowly, I extended my right hand before I placed it on top of the cast of her right hand as I used my thumb to caress it. I took note of the rough yet cold sensation on my hand after I touched her cast. She looked at me once again before she tilted her head out of confusion in my action.
Slowly I raised my head before I felt a lump on my throat. Her distinct, rounded pink eyes,her porcelain skin that was covered in bandages in different sizes with scratches here and there and yet still look so beautiful to my eyes, her well shaped cheekbones, she had turned slimmer than when I first met her but she still looked gorgeous,her plump lips that had turned slightly pale and yet had never lost there reddish color and lastly her hair that I suprisingly found smooth and silky even though she was asleep for five days.
The way she expressed her emotion called confusion, was utterly adorable for me and I found myself patting her head while I watched how her eyes disappeared behind her smile as it turned to two crescent moons and soon I found myself blushing beet read before her eyes just closed as she purred into my touch. She looked so adorable,her beauty was ethereal and she...is...my...goddess. Yes...she...Tiffany.
"Y-You...don't...re-remember?" I hissed when I heard how my voice cracked as I spoke as I prayed to God that she didn't heard it but she did and now a worried look grazed her face. Slowly,I savored the feeling on how my chest tightened as if air themselves strangled my hollow chest,how my heart broke into tiny pieces just like that egg in the story that I used to love as I also writhe in pain when the two happened in the same time and it hurts like hell.
Kindly everything started to get blurry and soon it was hard for my eyes to see properly as I can't make out the images in front of anymore...but why can I see her so properly? Why can I clearly see how worried she has been? Why does she still look beautiful even though I can't see her properly anymore? But I'm not complaining though I was just wondering but I felt...a sense of happiness because even though I can't see properly anymore, I'm still able to see her, describe her and it gave me sense of relief.
"...Why are you crying?...Jessie" I felt how my heart pounded making me snap my gaze from the floor towards her and that is how I felt it. I felt something hot and wet trickling down my cheeks before some of it reached my upper lip and I was able to taste it as it's salty taste took over my taste buds but then I felt another heat, another warmth touching me, reaching towards me and it made hold into it, scared that it might suddenly leave me out here in the cold.
That warmth, it came with caring and gentleness and it made me hold more to it.The way her voice sounded so dry yet silky made my ears ring in delight. My name,my foreign name,oh how I loved how she turned it to a different one which made me unsure if it did came from such a name in which I had cursed and wanted to forget and change. The way she called, it made me feel thankful that I didn't throw away my name along with my past.
Slowly, I raised my right hand as I gingerly touched a hand, that belonged to Tiffany as my fingers suddenly came in contant with something hard and I quickly knew it was the needle of her dextrose.
"Jessie?" So precious,so fragile yet somehow strong in a way that can suprise everyone even me and maybe even herself. Softly, I shook my head as I held her hand closer to my cheek as I savored the warmth that she has given to me.
"...Nothing...Tiff...I'm just happy that you're awake." The truth...well half of it is a lie but nevertheless the truth is there. This tears,are they full of happiness or grief or maybe even pain? I don't know but what matters right now is that I'm happy to see her awake and even slightly energetic than she is supposed to be.
"...Tiff...? Whose...Tiff?" She dragged the name just like a luggage instead of carrying it like a bag.
'Ne, Don't you remember?' I want to ask but fear stopped me.
"Yes, Tiff. That is what I used to call you. That's my nickname for you while you, you call me Jessie just like earlier." I explained softly and slowly in fear of shocking her.
"oh" Her lips formed a small 'o' while nodding her head before she curled her index finger making a box shaped before she placed it in front of her lips while her elbow of her same hand was supported by her other hand by her palm as she continued to nod.
The cute sight immediately made me smile as I quickly wiped my tears. I don't want her to see sadness any longer. I want to make her happy. '
That one day memory, is it gone forever? Will it go back?
'Hey, do you remember how I craddled you inside of my arms while you did the same to me while the two of us were inside the classroom as you were still covered in scratches and bandages but you were still able to catch up to me? I forgot to ask you about that. Do you remember how I ran to you and hugged you as I wet your chest with my tears? Do you remember how you asked me if your eyes are weird? Do you still remember the little time that we shared together in that classroom? Hey, do you?' I wanted to beg,be on my knees but my words only came out as mere thoughts as I only let out an apologetic smile that contained nothing but pure misery while I watched how she looked so carefree and burden free and it made me think once more.
'You...deserve this peace more than anyone huh? Yeah... you do deserve it.' I answered my own question as I ruffled her hair which made her whine as she tried to fix her hair with her left hand while her lower lip was jutted out creating a cute pout that I found myself restraining to do irrational things to her.
'Not now.' I grabbed the pole which where my dextrose was hooked into before I dragged it to reach my side before I proceeded to stand but I guess I'm still kinda wobbly. My knees suddenly gave up making me fall but good thing that I held my hands out so I was able to press my palms on her bed as I lifted my body.
"Sigh" I let out as a sign of relief before I looked up only to suprised myself to see how close she is to me. I felt her own breathing fanning my cheek as I slowly took in the image of her turning red just like a tomato and due to her pale skin, the blush stood out while I merely chuckled. I found my strength so I leaned in more as she softly moved backwards before I brushed our noses together. I felt her tense on my action but she gradually relaxed once again.
Giggles, that's all I heard from the two of us as we brushed our noses. I stood straight before slowly fixing her hair that I had ruined.
*click*
I was too preoccupied on my task that I had forgotten my surroundings. I was too indulge on her brown hair as I was captivated by her natural scent. It occupied my sense of smell and it drove weird things into my mind.
"Strawberry~" I purred a whisper that I was sure I was the only one who heard it.
'How can she have a scent that's as fresh as strawberries? She should smell like a hospital though I have no idea what a hospital smells like.'
*sniffle*
My smile that was formed on my lips after I had finished fixing Tiffany's hair slowly broke into a frown when I noticed a sudden change in the atmosphere. It kinda turned dark,gloomy and frightening all of the sudden.
"...Tiff...?" I asked. Her face was buried into my stomach as her arms was around my waist bringing me closer to her. Nothing to hold unto, I placed my left hand around her right shoulder while my other hand was caressing her head as I tangled one of my fingers on her brown locks.
'What's going on? Is she sleepy? Tired maybe?' I asked myself. After doing some thinking I asked after I let out a sigh.
"Tiff,If you're tired then you can la-" I was cut off when she shook her head while it was still pressed on my stomach. I then took noticed of the wet sensation on my stomach.
'I-Is sh-she crying?'
"Tiff...what's wrong?" I gently asked her. My heart ached more after knowing she was crying. She's special to me and I don't want those beautiful eyes to only be covered in tears and espescially by sadness. I want those dazzling eyes to keep smiling,so bright that it can blind everyone around except me so I'm the only one who can see everything about her. I want to be the only one to see you in this kind of state.
Greedy? Yes. Selfish? Very. I know I'm nothing to her but she's everything to me. I will do anything to make her happy.
I...love...her
Ever since I had saw her on that entrance on the first day of school. I never believed at love at first sight because I found it shallow and utterly ridiculous. I mean how can anyone easily fall in love with someone you had just met? Love takes time and trust then how can you easily trust your heart to someone when they can easily break it,throw it away and disregard it?
At a young age, I remembered about a story that my mother used to tell me and to her before we both drift to sleep every single night. That story, one that I had found absurd even at a young age.
"Auntie! Can you tell us a story?" She asked to the young woman who was tucking as in as we both lay down on the soft mattress before both of our bodies were being covered by the thick,warm blanket. It was comfortable and I love the warmth that was spreading throughout my whole body, not just because of the blanket but because of her warmth that she had wrapped around me.
The one that I have always loved dearly, is there beside me as her soft body pressed into mine and I found myself savoring the new sensation that had entered my whole body as I closed my eyes.
"A story? I won't mind telling one but baby look at Jessie, she's already asleep. I don't want to disturb her." I suddenly felt a shift on the space beside me then I felt something poking my arm along with a voice.
"Jessie...can auntie tell us a story before we go to sleep?"
"..."
" But if you don't want to, it's okay. We'll just go to the couch and she can tell it to me there so we won't disturb you." I know she was sitting up even though my eyes were closed so I quickly latch my right arm unto her waist before I brough her back down to the bed. I smiled when I heard her yelp then without second thoughts,wait was there even second thoughts to start with? None I guess,let me rephrase that, without further ado, that's better, I snuggled close to her body and the smell of fresh strawberries invaded my nostrils immediately after I nuzzle my head into her hair.
"No,stay" I said without letting go. I pushed my body more into her own loving the warmth and comfort her body is giving. I love hugging her, she's very huggable. In the midst of my peaceful cuddling, I heard her chuckle.
"Clingy Sica is clingy.So I take that as a yes."
"..." Both of us didn't said anything as we both anticipated the story,well only her. I'm anticipating my sleep while I hug my sweet little angel.
"Once upon a time..." Of course,fairy tales.
"There were two children that shared the same initials as there first name. So I'm just going to call them that."
"..."
" S was a happy girl that has a lively attitude. She can make anyone happy even just by her presence. The problem is, she can't easily meet someone because she is the only daughter of a rich family meaning everyone is highly protective of there little princess. S doesn't have anyone and no one wants to play with her in fear of her status in the society. Everyone had always wanted what S had but they don't know the sadness that S always feels every single day. Everyone was jealous of S except for one though."
*gasp*
"Who?" I chuckled when I heard how eager she is. Is she even sleepy?
"S"
"Another S? Whose S?"
"Well S is...wait if might confuse you so let me call S as SJ so you won't be confused. Okay so SJ is the only one who doesn't envy princess S. Wanna know why?
"Why?"
"Remember when I told you kids that even though you got all the gold of the whole world, it doesn't mean that you are happy?"
"Ne"
"Good. That, that is the reason why SJ is not jealous of Princess S. SJ was a free kid as many had described. Although SJ was a child with no parents, she had always love the freedom given to her. SJ is not your typical kid whose happy go lucky, she was a smart kid who uses her brain first before doing anything. She's as lively as Princess S and many quite knew her from the town where the kingdom of Princess S rules. She was a troublesome kid but she was an angel."
"Wait, I thought she was a troublesome kid then why did you said she was an angel?" I asked as I was clearly awake.
"I thought you were smart Jessica." I just rolled my eyes.
"Well, it was your fault for telling a ridiculous story umma." I incredously said.
"I said that she doesn't have parents meaning that she has no one to guide her but she is a nice child like an angel, remember?"
"Fine" I grumbled before resuming my position.
"SJ love climbing trees as she had always love the view and that particular day is no exception. When the sun is about to set, she would always climb a specific tree to watch the beauty of the setting sun. That was her routine every single day. So one day while SJ was climbing a tree ,which was exceptionally close to the palace, she saw another person on the highest branch and she wondered on how was the person able to climb such a high tree. SJ was known to be the greatest climbers on the whole town even in a young age so the child wondered."
'Climbing a tree...?'
"So SJ continued climbing the tree while pondering who the person is. She climbed and climb as her little hands reached for every sturdy branch of the huge tree and she didn't stop, why? Well because little SJ was very eager to meet the person on top. Maybe I can make that person my friend, SJ said to herself while continuing to climb the mentioned tree."
'Climbing a tree....' I don't know but somehow that sentence was disturbing me in a way that I can't find out. Why? It felt like I had forgotten something.
"Soon she had reached the top and just like what she had first saw when she was on the ground, she saw a person but this time she was able to tell if the person was a boy or a girl due to there close proximity. A girl, SJ breathed out after regaining her breath. Yes, SJ was right, it was a girl. The girl has short black hair just like the glow in the night, porcelain skin that was similar to a newly shined pearl that can be located on the deepest part of the ocean and eyes that glinted like the stars after the sun has set. SJ was stunned. What kind of person is she to have this kind of beauty? Asked by SJ to herself. Suddenly the wind blew making the branch sway as SJ took a step closer to the beautiful girl. "
"..." I was getting sleepy as my eyes were starting to close but my ears were still paying attention to every word my mother had spoke.
"crack! SJ stepped on a lonesome twig as she wondered how it got there but the thought was suddenly pushed to the back of her mind when the beautiful girl suddenly turned around, startled due to the sudden sound. As the beautiful girl turned around, everything suddenly stop as if time was put to a halt as there eyes met for the first time.SJ felt something flutter deep in her stomach as if it was doing countless somersaults while her heart was having an erratic beating just like how a drum is striked whenever festivals are being held in the town.Yes, that is how SJ felt at that moment and she thought that it was beautiful, the feeling was beautiful, the view of the setting sun was majestic and the beauty of the girl was ethereal and she couldn't ask for more and slowly, very slowly the two had fallen in love at first sight" My mother whispered before I felt her warm lips over my forehead before she had left and with a whisper I had entered my dream land with my sweet angel in my side.
"Goodnight and sweet dreams"
*sniffle*
I was snapped out of my thoughts by the same sound in which was the same cause on why I was drowned on my own thoughts. That story, it was absurd but I never said I didn't like it. It was beautiful to me even now actually it was always beautiful to my ears regardless of my age.
"Sica? Tiffany?" I was going to ask again why she was crying when I heard another voice. My head whipped to my right to see a stunned Yuri and Taeyeon by the door before the door itself closed with a click. I suddenly felt Tiffany flinch after she heard the voice.
'Is...she...scared?' I pondered by myself.
"Sica what's wrong with Tiffany? Why is she crying?"
"I...don't...know" I meekly answered,afraid that I might scare Tiffany more.
"You don't know? Well, maybe you can tell me and Yuri what happened before then maybe we can find the reason why she is crying." Taeng suggested which made me pursued my lips as it turned to a straight line.
"Who am I?" I suddenly remembered about her question earlier.I felt something click in me once I had recalled the events earlier.
"I think I already know" I said to them suddenly.
"Well then tell us."
"She...doesn't...remember"
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Well I had enough drama. Hey guys ^^ I'm back for good. Gosh I'm so dramatic that I actually found it embarassing XD Well I'm happy for the supporting messages you guys gave to me and I found a silent reader XD Here's chapter 21, hope you guys enjoy this chapter much as you enjoyed the others^^ Misaio out~
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