Chapter 14:Questions?
Cursed Love
No One's P.O.V
Darkness, it was everywhere and anywhere. Darkness can be present in anybody and everybody has it no matter how angelic he or she is. Darkness is darkness, Light is light. That's just how it is.Inside that very darkness was a body as it was floating as if it was surfing the entire darkness. It was motionless and it just let the darkness take it's body anywhere. It didn't matter because wherever the body goes, it will still be inside the darkness.Half lidded eyes stared above or is it downwards? It doesn't know but whatever direction it was looking towards, it was staring at something. What is that? It's too dark to see anything but how come the body can be easily noticed inside this darkness? The body with half lidded eyes just stayed there and stared before it slowly raised it's right hand extending it to the fullest as if it was reaching for something. The body stopped moving once again. What happened? No one knows but there was something that can be seen going towards the body's extended arm but it just stopped even before the body can grasp it. As if it was mocking the body but the body just stayed motionless before something dripped down and it soon many things were opened, as if it was a key. The body felt something,it ran inside it's veins,muscles, tissue, everywhere and instead of just laying there, it asked.
'What is that? What is this feeling inside of me? It's all over my body and it's making me feel weird. How can I stop it? Will I be able to stop it? Just what is that?'
Something dripped down again and the body felt it again. It was the same but this time, it's reaction was at the peak as it can muster.
Someone's P.O.V
Was that pain? Wait..Pain? Pain... what is pain? Is it physical? Is it emotional? Is it mental? When you say physical, does it mean being beaten to a boneless mass? How about emotional, Is it being abandoned by the ones that you love? Then mental, Is it being bullied and being told by offensive words? Just what is pain? Or is it the ability to feel something that is inflicted? Can someone please tell me what is pain? because I feel so numb right now. I can't feel anything right now. My heart is thumping so fast inside of my chest right now and it makes me...I don't know what it's called...maybe nervous? I'm feeling something,so is it pain? I don't know anymore but I want to know so please someone tell me. Why am I feeling like this? I felt numb but then I feel something in my chest. I'm scared,terrified at that too but why? What am I? What happened? What am I doing? What am I feeling? What's my name? What did I do? Questions after questions appeared but I can't answer them at all but they just kept forming.
I don't understand anything at all. I don't understand what was happening, I don't understand what pain is. I don't understand why I feel numb. I don't understand what I want. Do I want answers? Do I want my questions to be answered? Do I want to know what pain is? Do I want to know if it's physical? maybe emotional? or mental? Do I want to feel something? Do I want to know where I am, who I am and what I am? I don't understand why I can't understand myself when it's me. Why can't I understand myself? What do I want? I don't even remember how I came to be, how I was placed into this situation. All I can rack inside this head of mine is that I felt something hitting me but I don't feel anything at all and soon there were a lot of hands that came in contact with my skin. They were...umm...what do they call it...cold? I'm sure it's cold. Yeah cold but there was a pair of hands that stood out.They were warm,gentle,caring too. Whose pair of hands are those? I want to feel it again because it made me feel...warm again. Pain? Was that pain? I don't think so but I did felt something but I guess that was far from pain because...it was special. It wasn't even close to physical nor emotional nor mental so what was it?
Soon I felt myself laying down on something that was soft but it was kinda wet though, what was that? That time, that is when I felt pain. I couldn't breathe at all, I couldn't move and I felt cold all over. I can't open my eyes and all I can see was darkness.
'Am I dying? 'That was what was inside of my mind at that time because I felt that I was.Soon everything started spinning and I felt something leaking from my body but not just from one part but...everywhere.Suddenly I felt something on my mouth and a little on my nose and I felt myself able to breathe once again and I felt relief? I don't know what I felt after that. I felt somehow disappointed I guess wait if I felt disappointed then that means that I don't want to breathe again? If that happened then I would...die. Do I want to die? Why do I want to die? Wait, what is meaning of the word 'die'? I think dying meant being not here in earth anymore physically I guess. So if I'm not in earth anymore, then that means that...I was beaten to a boneless mass? That I was abandoned by the ones that I love? and I was bullied and being told by offensive words? So it's pain right? but...I didn't feel something that was inflicted on me so that wasn't pain? I'm so confused.Maybe it was because that I was numb from the very start. If that is so then what are this liquids that was flowing out of my eyes? They're tears from what I can remember and if there are tears then I'm crying right? If I'm crying then that means I'm sad but why? Is it because I'm dying? I thought I want to die then why am I suddenly crying?
Maybe I was crying because I will miss this warmth that was spreading from my hand if I died. This warmth made my heart giddy all of the sudden, I guess it was from happiness. I guess I don't want to die if I'm acting this way. Yeah, I don't want to die because I want to feel more of this warmth. If I don't want to die then why am I still not moving? I guess I'm still too weak,physically,emotionally and mentally I think.Soon I fely my body being dragged away but not harshly but it was quick and I know I was laying down and there it was again, Something warm was wrapped around my hand and it somehow gave me a sense of relief. I want to see who it was, I really do but I can't move,my body was unmotile but my brain and heart are still working but they were not enough for me to see who it was. I really wanna know who it was but I felt the warmth leave me. I felt sad once again and soon there was a lot of hands all over but they weren't cold at all but they weren't warm either, they were rather lukewarm.I felt a lot of them in my arm and legs and once again I drift back to where I was before and that is where I am in right now, inside this darkness. Even in here, I can't move. I felt that my eyes were half lidded and they were closed to closing but I'm scared. What if I can't open them once again? I still wanna see where that warmth is. I wanna know whom it belongs to.
I really want to know but here I am just laying down in nothing waiting for something to happen. Everything happened so fast, it was so fast that it was a blur and I can't even understand them. Soon those lukewarm hands slowly disappeared one by one and I was once again laid down on something that was soft. There was something that was inserted in my wrist but I felt nothing and there was a lot of others that was attached to my body but I once again felt numb. I guess they were tubes, lots of tubes. Is my condition that bad that those hands have to go to this extent? I wonder what I look like, will I ever see myself? If I ever had the chance then I guess I would be very suprised if I saw myself due to this tubes on my whole body.
*beep*
I heard something. What was that?
*beep*
I'm glad that I was still able to hear some things though the sound was repetive and dull but I shouldn't be picky right now. I'm just satisfied that I'm still able to hear things unlike from earlier where I see nothing, hear nothing,speak nothing, feel nothing and know nothing and that is where my questions came in. Oh yeah my questions! I almost forgot them but even if I do remember them, I don't think I'll be able to answer them.
*beep*
Not that I'm complaining but this sound is really monotonous and grim. I want to hear something else, anything that can brighten up my mood. It sounds like a countdown and any minute and second from now, it will explode.
"Sigh" I breathe out a huff of air but then I fet it being returned or rather blocked. I think there was something placed in my mouth. So there are tubes all over my body, something that was injected in my wrist and now there is something like a mask on my mouth. Just what happened to me for me to be like this? I guess it's serious, terribly serious. I want to know!
*thump*
Huh? What was that? What was that feeling? I suddenly felt scared but I just want to know what happened right? So why do I feel scared? It was like as if it was horrifying. Do I really want to know?..Do...I...really...want...to...know...? Oh no, my eyes! They're starting to close. I don't want my eyes to close. I'm scared. Somebody, something, please do something! My mind or moreover my body was trying to keep my eyes open but then I felt my heart and soul...giving up. Why? Just like that, my body also gave up and I just let my eyelids drop. I felt something,something inside of me being taken away as soon as my eyes were closed. Something was slipping away from my grasp, what is it? Soon I felt my body dived downwards as if I was drifting away.
No One's P.O.V
Among the never-ending darkness, you can see a body drifting away without a desired location in mind. As soon as her eyes closed, something pushed the body away from it's current location as it was being pulled downwards, head first. Her body was moving in a fast pace as it just continued gliding through the darkness that it was incased in. She was asleep as her body ceased any kind of movement just like her eyes. How about her heart? Is it still still pumping? Is it still beating? No one knows except for the girl. The only thing you can hear is the silence brought by the darkness itself. The figure was incased in it's own darkness. Was she giving up? Well her state right now tells everything.
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That what was inside this very darkness. Just pure silence,nothing more,nothing less.
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The body continued it's journey downwards as the silence continued. The silence was nerver breaking as it was also deafening but it was also utmost fragile. Anything can break it, shatter it to pieces but is anyone capable of that? Is anyone able to break this fragile silence? Is anyone inside this very darkness be able to smash the fragile silence? How can someone break it when the only one that has the capability to do it is drifting further down and soon it will drown in the darkness. Further more and it will soon be buried,covered. So is anyone be able to break the silence? Anyone? Just someone? Just pleas-
*drip*
Someone's P.O.V
"Tiffany..." Who was that? What was that? That sound, that voice it sounded so sad...and longing too but whose Tiffany?
"Tiffany..." There it is again. I felt my whole body flinched unlike earlier were I can't even lift a finger. Wait, Since when was I able to regain consciousness again? I suddenly felt something flutter,it was fluttering open...and it was my eyelids as it let my eyes to see what was in front of me but all I saw were darkness. Even though all I saw were pure darkness, I still feel relieved now that I was able to open my eyes again. For a second there, I thought I was going to sleep forever. Speaking of sleeping, just how long was I asleep? It felt like only a matter of seconds.I turned my head side to side to find something in here but all I saw were only darkness. Suddenly I felt something inside my body and I slowly stretched out both of my arms and I did the same to both of my legs and I soon stretched my very being.
"Mmmhhh" I moaned in satisfaction and I soon remained my position. I wasn't laying down anymore, I guess I was standing. It's kinda weird though, because earlier I wasn't able to move at all and I just found myself inside this darkness and now here I am moving with freedom. What happened? Was there any difference from earlier to now? Hmmm...
"Tiffany..." My head shot up, it was that voice again. Just who is this Tiffany? Wait, who am I? I'm asking whose Tiffany yet I don't know who I am. Sigh...aha! Now I know what happened! It was because of that voice!...right? Ugghh I don't know but that girl named Tiffany was lucky to have someone like that voice. The way the voice called her name,it's a girl right?, sounds so sweet and even though I know it's not me, I can't help but yearn for that voice more. I feel warm even though it was freezingly cold inside of here. That sweet voice cradles me and it helped me get back up to my feet. Just who is that? I want to know, I really want to know. Everything inside this darkness turned silent after the voice stopped calling that name not until I heard the sounds of something thumping. I guess it was a heart but why was it beating furiously? Is it excited? Nervous? or Scared? Hmm, I wonder what this is about. Among my thinking, I felt something drip from my forearms and when I look at it, it was...reddish. What is this?
"Tiffany..." There it was again. What is this? What is that? Where is that? Who is that? There it was again!...no not the voice...but those questions. Just...arrgh! My head is aching from all of this questions I can't even answer! Why do I keep thinking of questions? Why do I keep asking questions when I can't even answer them? I'm only causing my own frustration! arrrgh.....wait...frustration? What's frustration? arrgh there it is again! but I guess I can't help it since it did appeared inside of my mind but where did I learned the word frustration? Hmmm...from what I can remember, I think I felt it earlier when I was thinking on what this 'Tiffany' is. The sensation was so strong that the word frustration instantly came inside of my mind.Woah! I just solved one of my questions!
"Tiffany..." The same thing boomed inside as it quickly snapped me out of my thinking once again. Why is that voice uttering the same thing over and over again? It was like that 'beep' sound since it was very repetitive but I can't help but feel that there was something inside this voice that was differentiating it from that monotonous beep. There was something that was mixed inside of that voice that was making me listen to it.
"Tiffany..." What exactly are you? Just who are you? What are you to be able to inflict this type of things to me? What are you to be able to make me have questions like this? What are you to be able to make me cry? make me move? and just what are you exactly to be able to make me hear you? to hear your saddening voice? to hear how you long for this 'Tiffany'? Soon silence took over once again and this time I felt alone because that voice is not here anymore and I once again just learned of what alone means.
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Nothing
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Something?
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Anything?
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Everything is so dark
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Wait
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I thought I was inside darkness?
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Then why is my surrounding turning gray?
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Wait
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My surroundings are not the one that is turning gray
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It's my eyes
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They're turning blurry
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What's going on?
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"Jessica"
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Hey guys ^^ I'm glad I was able to finish a new chapter hehe Sorry for making you guys wait for too long, they are seriously giving us a workload == but I'm just a student! A highschool student at that too but either way, Guess whose P.O.V is this (I think you guys already know) I'm happy that you guys still kept reading this. Thank you guys so much but before I go, I just want to ask a question to you guys, Why do you read this fic? I just want to know and if I can, I can use your answers for my other stories ^-^ Misaio out~
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