That night, I was sitting on the bed with my back leaning against the bed frame thinking about things happen in my life. I am Kim Ryeowook, the girl who was found in front of the orphanage when she was just 2 months old. She grew up with the love of those in the orphanage and the boy who had been close to her. He was Lee Donghae. They soon became good friends. At the age of 8, she and Donghae meet them, Kim Jongwoon and Kim Kibum and they soon became really fast friends. But after 4 years, they had to move away due to their parents work. That leaves her and Donghae once more.

When she was 17, she was offered to study in China and that was where she met him, Cho Kyuhyun, and they became closer than she expected. The feelings turn into love and at the age of 19, she ran away with him, going to get married because his parents doesn’t want him to marry a ‘rubbish’. Their marriage life was full of surprises and she loves him dearly until the day she had a miscarriage.

He change to the man she knew to the cold one and his heart began to. Then, a month later he had filed a divorce against her leaving her like a real rubbish. And what was worst was she was pregnant once more. She began to regret for falling for him. She was blind and stupid. But like they say, love is blind and makes people stupid.

I sigh as I lay my hands on my stomach knowing that my child stays here with me. Thank you, I whisper softly, thank you for staying with umma Hyunnie. I don’t want you to lead the life I lead.

That was when the door to my room open and Kibum walk in. She close the door behind her before she snuck to the bed, sitting beside me as she look at me.

“Can I sleep here? It’s just that… I really miss those moment we had when we were kids. I just wish that Donghae was here and Jongwoon oppa is a girl so that we could sleep together like we use to do”

She said with a sigh and I nod knowing what she feels. I tried hard not to cry and I know Kibum is too. The memories of the four of us together were the best in my life. Knowing them had been the best thing happened in my life.

“How is Donghae anyway?”

She ask and I smile. “He’s fine”I had said and she let out a soft chuckle. “That kid is always fine” I giggle knowing what she said was true. Sometimes I envy him. He would always be happy no matter what and he would always be fine. “He’s happy” I said, “He met a girl name Hyukjae and I think he would marry her soon” I said and Kibum nod. “I hope so too”

“Unnie, how about you? Is there anyone for you?”

I ask he unexpectedly and her cheeks began to heat up and I smirk. I knew she does immediately.

“Who is it? Tell me about him? Tell me, who is this lucky guy to be your boyfriend?” I immediately wrap my arms around her and a smile at her happily. She bit her lips shyly.

“Well….” I smirk, “Well….” I imitate her and she frown, hitting me lightly and I scowl.

“Well, his name is Choi Siwon and he is a businessman. He is 22 years old, 2 years older than us. He loves dogs and have a puppy at home. His puppy is called Goku for no reason. He is an only child and he is very handsome. His smile is to die for and when he does aegyo, he looks so cute!”

Kibum squeal and I laugh, recognising the glint in her eyes when she talk about him. It was the same way I had been when I had talk about Kyuhyun before. But now, I don’t know already.

“But Wookie, I don’t think you should call him boyfriend” she said and I look at her questioningly. “Why?”

She bit her lips once more. Slowly she raise her right arm up and showed me her finger. A gasp left my lips when I saw what was resting on her fourth finger. It was a ring with a small diamond surrounding it. It was really beautiful and I look at her shock. And I knew, he had propose to her.

“He proposed to you!”

I squeal and I immediately hug her, feeling really happy and she smile, nodding at me. “I’m so happy for you!”

She laugh and nod.

“And I’m happy for you too”she said and I stop bouncing, looking at her in confusion. “Why?”

“You’re having a baby!”

The moment she said that, everything completely vanish. It wasn’t that I wasn’t happy for expecting a baby but I was scared for his future. My feelings were mixed up!

“Wookie what’s wrong?”

Kibum ask me, sensing the change in my attitude. I soon began to sob as she hug me.

“Unnie, I’m scared. I scared if Hyunnie’s future would be like mine. Messed up. And I don’t know if I could be a good mother. I don’t know if I can take care of my child alone. I don’t want him to lead the life I had. And what should I tell him if he ask about his father? I can’t just say that his father left us. Tell him his father doesn’t need us and doesn’t even love us anymore. I can’t just say his father doesn’t even know he existed!”

I exclaim as tears keep pouring down my cheeks. Really, I was trembling hard and I was scared. Too scared for what might come.

Kibum chuckle as she brush my hair.

“I know Hyunnie would lead a good life having a mother like you. He would have a cheerful, happy and excellent childhood with you beside him. Besides, you are the kind of girl who could go through anything. Remember when you saved the cat from drowning and heal it? Remember the kid who was lost in the mall. Tell me, who had help her find her parents?”

I sniffled a sob.

“Me?”

She laugh and nod.

“Yeah. I remember the look you had on your face. You look so determine to help the girl. You also look like you wanted to cry. Why is it Ryeowookie?”

She ask. I remember that day. I had help a girl finding her parents and I remember the look on the girl’s face when she found her parents. Joy, happy. It was a happy sight.

“Because I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to not find her parents forever”

I said as she smile.

“Yes and I know, you would always make sure Hyunnie gets enough love. He would grow up into a really excellent man”

And I smile, feeling myself lighten up a bit because what she said was true. I would always make sure Hyunnie gets enough love even if he needs to grow up without a father figure.

“But maybe Jongwoon oppa could be his father?”

My cheeks heat up.

“Unnie!”

She laugh.

“Just kidding!”