“When someone freaking points a gun at you, you run the hell away, not just stand there and get shot.” Taemin scolded Minho while treating his wound. The five of them were in Taemin’s house.

“What the hell was I suppose to do? And you shouldn’t yell at the victim.”

“Oh please. The bullet barely scratched your arm. I doubt there’ll even be a scar.”  Taemin bandaged the area.

“Why won’t you let us call the police?” Onew asked Taemin.

“It wouldn’t be much help anyway.” Taemin keeping the first aid kit.

“Do you have any idea how freaked out we were ? And why did the guy ran away the moment you came?” Key panicking.

“Because I would’ve killed him.” Taemin answered like it was the most obvious thing.

“Ki-kill him?”Jonghyun stuttered.

“He freaking shot the single most important person in my life. You think I’m just going to let him go?” Taemin eyed Jonghyun.

“Yah, how in the world-my brain cannot even” Key lost for words.

“Explain.” Minho gripped Taemin’s wrist and looked at him seriously.

“I can’t.” Taemin mumbled. Despite anything, if Minho got all serious, Taemin would turn into a puddle of jelly. A serious Minho was the only thing Taemin was scared of.

“Why not? I just got shot and I want to know why.” Minho demanded.

And then Taemin started to tell. His past. His story.

 Taemin’s family was very poor . He lived with his mother in a very small one bedroom apartment. However despite anything, the five-year old Taemin thought it was his paradise. His mother loved him and that was enough for the boy. He didn’t need toys or a fancy birthday party. He had the most beautiful woman in the world. Singing to him every night. Telling him stories of princes and horses and mermaids.

That is until one day, a few days after his sixth birthday. His mother took him somewhere. They walked until Taemin was too tired and his mother had to carry him. They walked until Taemin found himself no where close to his home. They walked until they reached an old building.

Falcons Orphanage.

And his mother left him there.

“I’ll come back.” his mother said.

The young Taemin waited and waited. And she never came back.

When Taemin was seven, he and a boy named Kai got picked from the orphanage by a few men. The two boys were overjoyed. Thinking they’d have new,loving parents. People to care for them. People to buy new toy cars for them.However that was a far cry from reality.

Instead, the men were from an agency. A secret service agency named IBC. Taemin and Kai and dozens more were taken to a military facility . They were trained for years . Every inch of their body were build to become the perfect agents. Scars were practically clothes on them.

When Taemin was found to have a talent with making music, he was trained to create secret codes using sounds. That being the reason why he became a musical genius. He would spent his nights creating codes and spent his days training. If Taemin showed the slightest bit of weakness, he would be punished. Mostly by being kept in a dark,cold room. Being denied of food(which explains the thin figure).Being beaten. Being refrained from sleeping. Anything and everything had been done to the boy. Pain had become Taemin’s new companion.

Taemin was trained to do martial arts, fire a gun, wire a bomb and more. He learned at least ten different languages. He was trained to charm people, to seduce people, to earn people’s trust, to silence people, to kill people.

But still, he was fine. He had his bestfriend Kai. Kai was always there with him. However, one day. Kai managed to escape from the facility. By means  Taemin did not know what. But somehow Kai said he had found a way.He had promised to come back and take Taemin with him.

“I’ll come back.” he whispered in Taemin’s ear on the night of his escape.

And the adolescent Taemin waited and waited. He never came back.

Being broken and alone meant Taemin had nothing to lose. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to cry over.Nothing to fear for. Taemin had lost the ability to feel. The ability to have emotions. And if he felt like he was going to cry,smile,scream,laugh or break, he would train and train until he felt too tired to do anything else. Because to feel again, hurt too much.

And because of that, Taemin had become everything the agency wanted. He had become the perfect agent. He had turned into a lifeless robot.

When Taemin turned fifteen, he was released to the world. Flawlessly executing his missions. Jumping from building to building with only a rope in the middle of the night to plant a bug. Swimming in the cold waters to sneak into a ship. Retrieving informations. Getting rid of a target. Pretending to be dead son of a mobster. Saving captives. Stealing back stolen items. Breaking into a safe.

When Taemin turned sixteen, he was deemed the best agent among hundreds that were all around the world. Because of this, his agency no longer dumped him less-important tasks but only contacted him when he was really needed. He would be reserved for more important missions. He was finally given some time for himself, but what use would time be for him? When he was alone, his head got too noisy. He would hear his mother’s voice singing to him. Kai’s laughter when they would joke around. He would repeatedly hear those final words, that promise of coming back. He couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand being alone and yet everything was too noisy.

When Taemin turned seventeen, he met Minho. Minho’s voice was soothing. The only sound that managed to subside the throbbing pain in his head,his heart. At first he started to enjoy Minho’s company. Seeing him almost everyday. Until one day he received an envelope. His new task. He realised he didn’t have the right to love anyone. The right to not be alone.

“After we met, I started to get too attached to you.” Taemin looked at the dumbfounded Minho. The other three were listening. Too shocked to say anything.

“Getting attached wasn’t a good thing for me.  I was scared you would leave me once you know who I am. What kind of sick,damaged monster I am.” Having blood on my hands.

“I won’t leave you.” Minho said.

“I’m the one that has to leave.” Taemin whispered.

“What I do is too dangerous for all of you.” Taemin’s eyes circled the entire room.

“You left once, I’m not going to let that happen again.”

“Can’t you see what happened to you? I made this happen. I made you get hurt.”

“It doesn’t matter.I could get shot a million times and I don’t care as long as I’m with you. As long as you’re with me.”

“It does. You have Vesper.Your family. Millions of people all around the world love you. I can’t be that selfish to keep you.”

“You’re lying aren’t you?” Minho looked at Taemin. Realising something.

“What kind of spy can’t read?” Minho questioned Taemin.

“I lied.” Taemin said with a straight face. Like lying was a normal thing.

“But- you and the all the questions. The bad handwriting.”

“I’m a good liar. I was made to be one.”

“Why lie?”

“I couldn’t exactly tell you I can’t go to school because I might get exposed. Can you imagine how inconvenient it would be to stay in school and still keep my job? Well, not that it matters now.”

“Now? You’re not a spy anymore?”

“I quit.”

 “Why did you quit?”

“Because I fell in love with you.”