“I’m going to get you a blanket and pillow” She said as she turned and went back to the closet

She went and pulled out the first blankets her hands made contact with. She held them in her arms as she wiped her hands across her eyes and stared up at her ceiling. She waited a full minute before blinking. She had to be strong. There was a knock behind her and she jumped as she turned quickly. Wu Fan stood in the hallway with a blank face as he stared at her in silence.

“Did you need anything else?”

“I’m… sorry” He blurted out, surprising himself at how heavy holding those words in had been while at the same time screaming at himself to just shut up.

The words hung around her in an unsteady state of confusion and she wasn’t quite sure if she hadn’t just imagined those words come from him.

She turned to him and opened , her words seemed to lag at the sight of him, “…Don't uh... have no reason to be. I mean you're an , but aside from that....” She said not making any sense and she closed the closet door and walked over to him cautiously, “It’s fine, it doesn’t matter” She finally said, standing in front of him and waiting for him to move aside.

“I’m… sorry” He repeated slowly amazed at the feeling of clarity that those words brought to him. He placed a hand on her shoulder firmly and ignoring the way her entire body froze he willed for her to listen to what he was trying to say.

“Ok you’re sorry I get it. Thanks” She said, all too aware of the hand on her shoulder.

“I know I’m doing the right thing, but you keep making me the bad guy” He said quietly as if he speaking to himself. He frowned, staring at her reproachfully, “This is your fault too” He said unable to pull his hand back.

“I… Ha, you’re confusing me Wu Fan. You told me to forget about anything I feel for you” She said carefully as she shrugged off his hand, “It’s fine, but don’t suddenly say things like this ok? I’m going to confuse this for something else”

She pasted on a fake smile and pushed past him, "So I think you can have the couch since the bathtub might be too small for you to be honest" She said, pretending nothing had happened as she walked firmly away and placed the things on the edge of the couch, "Give me a heads up tomorrow before you leave. Good night" She said and without meeting his eyes she went into her room. She closed the door behind her and relaxed with the click of her lock. She stared at the shut door and if she had to be honest, she knew she wasn’t locking anyone out, but rather locking herself in. What was an apology anyways? Just words. Two simple words. It didn’t matter what she thought she saw because what were the chances that their talk had gotten through to him anyways?

~~~~~~

To say that Min Ah had woken up would be an overestimation of her self-control. It was in fact, 2:36 am and she hadn't been able to fall asleep so far. Instead, her mind raced and she was all too aware of the person in her living room. She turned in her bed and cleared quietly. Sometime over the night the urge to use the bathroom had worsened and she didn’t comprehend why especially since she hadn't exactly been drinking water. Then again she had been dunked in a river so there was that. She eyed the door carefully and for the millionth time calculated the risk of finding him awake versus using the bathroom to be too large. So she focused on meditating. Maybe she could meditate it away.

Five minutes passed and it made it unbearably obvious that meditation wasn't going to help. With gritted teeth she stood up carefully and shuffled to her door. It would have been nice to pause and listen, but at this point it was all or nothing and as she pulled her door open only to find her hallway empty and the relief barely registered as she zoomed into her bathroom.

The funny thing was that after all that was done, as she headed back into her room completely safe and without being sighted, she could feel her own steps dragging. It was almost crazy the way her body forced her to turn around and quietly sneak into her living room. She was being a creep. She recognized it as she peered around the corner and her eyes scanned the darkness until they spotted the dark shape laying on her couch. She made a face as she took note that he was fast asleep. Clearly nothing on his mind to keep him up. She straightened out, feeling a little braver now that she knew that he was completely asleep and a rogue smile twitched on her lips as she saw his legs hanging over the edge.

Min Ah walked towards him and hesitated, her craziness fully sinking in. She had a question for him she told herself. When was Tao coming tomorrow? She just had to ask him that briefly she repeated in her head as she shuffled closer and stopped only when she was right beside him. She lowered herself besides the edge of the couch and shook his shoulder softly. His eyes opened slowly without a moment of hesitation and with a strike of fear she realized that he hadn't been asleep after all.

"Is... Tao coming tomorrow... When I mean, when is he coming?" She asked quietly, dry. For an instant Min Ah felt young again. That feeling of nerves that girls got when they talked to that guy they liked that never paid until one strange morning when he suddenly did.

Wu Fan was almost too busy studying her to notice that she had spoken. He was tired of being the bad man in her life. He was hurting her. It was easier to be nicer, to slowly lose control after he had made up his mind. He had an out he thought gladly as he allowed himself to stare at her freely. It didn’t matter what happened now because it was going to end. So in the meantime he could allow himself to be kinder to her. He could allow himself to stare at her as long as he wanted because it was going to end… the second time the thought passed through it brought a sadder rush of emotions in him, but it still couldn’t beat the feeling of not having to force himself to hate her. He stared at the fear in her eyes and his face softened as he wondered what she must be thinking.

"I'm not sure" He said, his voice coming out too quiet and she couldn’t pull her gaze away from him. His eyes had a tint of knowing and satisfaction in them that made her uncomfortable.

"Ok" She said with a nod as she shot up and practically ran back to her room.

She closed the door and placed a hand on her chest and she tried to think of anything else but the slow way his lips moved or the sounds of his voice echoing around her. She screamed as a knock interrupted her deep breaths. She stared at the door as if it was suddenly turned into the entranceway to hell and stayed quiet. Another calm knock came and tried to shake herself back to normal.

"Yes?" She asked politely.

"Can I come in for a minute?" He asked and without really waiting for her answer he turned the doorknob that she hadn’t had the chance to lock yet. He stared at her for a second before looking around her room and she felt like he should stop, "It's very you" He said calmly as he walked around.

"You need to get out. Call Tao. Go" She whispered finally recognizing the full extent of danger of this situation, "I don't know what happened to you, but you know you have to go"

"I felt bad and then I started thinking too much about everything and then I couldn't remember what I was running away from. I couldn't find a good enough excuse to keep running and then I found my ultimate excuse. My way out. I'm feeling very invincible right now. Like nothing could go wrong" Wu Fan said, his words smug.

"Everything could go wrong" She said very seriously, staying in place as he looked over at her.

"Why did you come to wake me up?"

"Please go"

"Tao suggested that I take the money to Jong In and go him with to be operated on. He said that he could handle everything here and finish things up. He said that I should stay there and run things from there and once we were done that he would come later. I think it’s a great idea. I think he means for us to go and start over. Too much notoriety under this EXO name now. What do you think? Is that a good idea?" He asked as he walked even closer and took a seat on the edge of her bed. It was such a plain action and yet it wasn’t because she was trying to process what he was telling her. Is that what he meant by his way out?

She stared at him in silence and nodded numbly. She opened to say something, but no words came out. Maybe it was the streak of kindness in his words or the hint of warmth in his eyes, but she couldn’t speak past the lump in so she just nodded once more to herself. His eyes flickered with regret as he stepped up to her and hesitated. His mind warned him that he was dangerously close to crossing a line. It told him that he could still get out and he glanced at the open doorway behind her. He didn’t want a way out though. Just one time, he wondered as he cautiously wrapped his arms around her, he just wanted to know what it was like to hold the woman he had looked for desperately before. As soon as his arms touched her they instinctively tightened. Gone was the soft and gentle embrace he was going for, instead he found himself holding her so tightly he was almost embarrassed.

Min Ah stood in shock as the tall man completely blocked her vision with his chest. She could feel the warmth radiating from him and the thought that maybe he had gone insane ran through her. She didn’t know how to react. He had basically all, but told her that whatever he did didn’t matter because he was leaving. What did that make her? She asked herself as she buried her face in his chest and tried to think clearly. In retrospect, burying your face into the man you love is not exactly the best way to get a clear mind.

“I'm going to go and then I’m going to disappear" He said quietly, “I’ll make sure you’ll never find me even if you try”

“I won’t try…” She whispered, more to herself as she tried to come with any and all excuses to make this alright.

“Exactly this is the last time I'm going to see you. So I'm not going to let go right now" He said stubbornly.

"You’re a coward” She said suddenly and she felt him nod.

“…Tonight I am. If I wasn’t leaving with Jong In, I would have run from you and I wouldn’t have looked back”

“That’s what you’re doing anyways” She said as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. She couldn’t decide if this was a nightmare or a dream, but either way she just wanted to be sure he was real… that she wasn’t imagining this whole thing.

“But it’s worse because I had the chance to cut things off cleanly with no loose ends and I’m throwing it away with no regards to you. I’m being so incredibly selfish and you don’t see it yet” He said, pulling back and staring down at her seriously, his face showing a flicker of pity that annoyed her.

“I’m not an idiot. I do see it. You’re selfish and the only reason you apologized was because of the guilt. If you had been able to bear it a little longer you would have left without a second thought” She said quietly her own words clearing her mind from the fog that had shielded her from the truth, “You're someone who would never come back for me because you made up your mind and… that’s ok. I’m going to let you be selfish” She said, her words trailing off into a whisper as he placed his lips on hers.

She wondered if she was going to regret this later.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Second update! I have one more to post and then I'll be done for the day! (Might as well start the new year by finally posting these!)

Thanks for reading!