Chapter II: Conflict of the past and the present

“Welcome sir” A woman about in her mid 20s greeted with a smile when a customer entered her shop, scanning the different flower display around the room. He then chose the bouquet he liked and placed it on the counter.

“For your girlfriend, sir?” The lady questioned as she put a blank card in the bouquet and saw a blush on the man’s cheeks. She smiled and the man answered in shyness. “I’ll propose to her this evening actually”

“Ah really? Your girlfriend must be happy” She was excited and her mood became brighter. Even though it’s normal that most people bought flowers for the one they love in the shop, she always felt pumped up whenever she heard that reason.

“Thanks. How much?” He opened his wallet but she stopped him. “Since you’re the first customer, it’s free. All the best for later” She bowed and gave him her sweet smile.

“Thanks a lot miss” The man bowed and left the shop with excitement in his eyes then came her sigh. She just remembered the times she was in Korea and most especially…him. She’s still at the stage of forgetting about him but she’s not progressing even a tiny bit.

“Boa, letter for you” Her mom suddenly walked in the shop and handed the envelope to her. She looked the back of it and smiled when she saw that it came from the guy she loves…a guy different from the one she was thinking earlier. She tore the side of the envelope and pulled out the letter. She kept on smiling as she read it and her mother stared at her, pleased at the sight that her daughter is not hurt anymore or so she thought.

But when she read the end of the letter, her smile turned up side down. 
“What’s wrong, dear?” Her mom sat on the chair and placed two cups of coffee on the counter. “What did he say?”

“He’ll come here after two weeks” She settled on another chair and took a sip of the coffee. “But he said we will go to Korea” Her tone became low as she said that. Five years had gone and she never went back to her homeland, not even once.

Her mom held her hand and looked at her worriedly. “Boa…are you still thinking of Jaejo..”

“No” She cut her mom off as memories flashed back. She kept silent for a moment and soon tears followed. “Why? Why can’t I forget him?” She wiped her tears but her emotions kept on making her cry. She closed her fist tightly, making the letter on her hand crumpled.

‘I don’t love you…I never did’ She remembered the last words she uttered before leaving him and it pierced her heart too much. A lie. A complete ridiculous lie that made her guilty throughout the years they have been separated.

“Boa, I know this is hard for you” Her mom comforted her. “But I think, you should follow your heart”

She bit her lip, not wanting to cry more but the words she heard made her weak. “Dad”

“Yes dear, just like what your father always told you, follow your heart and make yourself happy”

Their conversation was interrupted when her phone suddenly rang and when she saw the caller ID, she looked at her mother, silently asking what to do as her mom made a firm nod.

“He-hello?” She answered as she tried hard not to make unnecessary sounds.

“How’s my baby bear?” A guy with a husky voice asked and she closed her eyes, not knowing what to say after what happened just a while ago.

“Boa? Is there something wrong?” She covered as her tears once again welled up in her eyes. She shook her head frantically and ended the call.

“I can’t. I can’t do this!” She hit the counter table then slowly sat on the floor as she sobbed. Her mother kneeled down and embraced her, wanting her to calm down. “I don’t...I don’t want to hurt him...I can’t say that I still love someone else. I don’t know what to do”

“Sshhh...you just need some time to decide. No one’s forcing you to confess the truth…but bear in mind, Boa, you shouldn’t let him hope for nothing” Her mom gently smiled and stood up. “I’ll handle the boutique for today, go rest for now”

Boa slowly follow suit and saw the letter of her boyfriend. She picked it up along with her phone that already had three missed calls. She went upstairs to her room, lying on her bed and closed her eyes as the last teardrop fell.

She wiped it off as she recalled what happened before. She just hung up the phone on him while he was on the line and she thought that probably he became worried sick.

But Jaejoong. The guy whom she wanted to forget kept on entering her mind.

“I still love you” She whispered as she pulled a picture under her pillow and stared at it for a while. It was the picture she took when he was sleeping in the library back in their college years and she ran her fingers on his face, wishing that it’s real.

“Maybe, things had change. You’re probably with someone you love” She let out a sigh, brushing her thoughts away. Just thinking about it made her heart ache.

She looked at the side and saw the letter from earlier. Guilt came across her as she read it again. She looked down as images of her boyfriend and their sweet moments appeared in her mind.

“I love you...but I still love him” She spoke in a low voice and her head began to hurt. She was confused and as much as she wanted to, she doesn’t want to choose one over the other. She loves them very much.

Jaejoong. The guy who put colors to her life. The guy whom she wanted to spend all her time with. The guy who made her life fulfilling. The guy who became her first love. And the guy who broke her heart for the first time. Many times, she promised herself to let go of the past but she can’t and up to now, he is still the person inside her heart.

But… things have changed, she already have someone who loves her as much as he did. Someone who healed her heart. Someone who made her smile once again. Someone who needs to be love back. And someone who’s having a space in her heart too.

Her phone rang for the nth time and she prepared herself to answer him.

“Boa” He spoke with worry in his voice and she blamed it on her for making him feel like that.

“I’m sorry...I’m just not feeling well” She lied and wished that he’ll believe it.

“You’re sick? Since when? Do you want me to go there? I’ll cancel my meeting and..”

“No...I’ll be fine. Don’t worry too much” She smiled, imagining her boyfriend’s facial expression and knowing that he was so concerned about her.

“Are you sure?” She nodded and made a sound, assuring him that she is fine. “Are you sure? As in really, really sure?” She laughed at his comment and felt her cheeks became warm.

“I’ll be fine, and besides the company needs you” She reasoned out and got a glimpse of the photo on her bed. She picked it up and slid it under her pillow.

“But you’re more important. Important than anyone else” He said seriously and she felt butterflies in her stomach. He is a sweet talker indeed and she can’t deny that she loved hearing that from him.

“Thank you” That’s all she can say as tears formed again in her eyes. He’s someone rare to find and she was lucky enough to bump into him one day but…

‘Why do I feel like I’m just using you? But I love you, I really do...but why?’ She thought and tried not to make any sound.

“Well, I need to go now. Bye bear, remember that I love you” He hung up before she can utter a word and she was glad he did that. She slowly lowered her phone and started crying.

“I’m sorry Yunho. I’m sorry”

***

A/N thank you for subscribing and reading this story ^-^