Chapter XIV: Apart from you, someone is bearing the pain

“Why does it need to happen?” She managed to say between her sobs while feeling a little bit dizzy since she was crying for a while now. It took her a long time to be able to calm her self down even though at first she had no idea how. But when she remembered her dad’s words…that he doesn’t want to see her lonely, she got all her courage to stop crying.

She sat on the grass while staring at her father’s grave. It’s been five years since she last visited him and was apologetic for not doing so.

“I can’t take it” She uttered and was on the verge of crying again. She blamed herself because if it wasn’t for her, nothing like this would happen. That no one will be hurt…that he won’t be hurt..

She then felt a sudden breeze enveloping her, and assumed that it’s her father, comforting and telling her that he’s there for her.

“I miss you, Pa. Please take me with you” Having this tragic feeling, this is only what she can think of. “I keep hurting people around me. I don’t deserve to live”

“I wish I can hear your voice…so you can tell me what to do” She took out their family photo in her bag then hugged her knees. “You know what, Pa. I’ll be attending his wedding. He’ll get married with Hyo Joo. She’s really a nice girl. I met her in Japan and Jae’s really lucky to have her, right?” By this time, she was sniffling. She said those lines, proud in a way but her strong demeanor was shed away when she noticed the ring on her finger. She broke down.

“I still love him…He told me that he will cancel the wedding for me, so we can be together. I should be happy…right, Pa? But why did I refuse? Why? Is it because it’s wrong? Or because I’m just scared? I’m scared that if I agreed, I’ll hurt other people? What should I do?” She cried with hands covering her face and felt like energy was draining on her.

*

“How is it?” Jaejoong asked when he went out of the fitting room and all his fiancée did was to stare at him, stunned with what she’s seeing. He chuckled a bit and looked at himself at the mirror again but sighed when Boa entered his mind.

He remembered that before he used to imagine their wedding when they’re still students but now, something’s hindering him to picture it.

“Wow…it looks good on you, son” His mom complimented him and he smiled. “It’s your turn now, Hyo Joo”

He went back to the room to change and after waiting for some time together with his mom, Hyo Joo appeared wearing her long white gown and it was his turn to admire. It definitely suits her but he looked away when he saw Boa in that dress instead of his fiancée.

“Do you like it, hun?” Hyo Joo asked as she twirled around while he only nodded. She smiled brightly for his acceptance and he felt guilty again.

“I’ll wait in the car” He said but she made him stop. “Yunho will be here, let’s wait for him” He heard that name and suddenly felt annoyed. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine” He answered and sat at the bench with a cold expression.

*

Several hours passed after she arrived at the place and she was still at loss. She doesn’t want to go back because she doesn’t know if she still has the guts to face Yunho after her confession to her dad.

“Hello?” She said over the phone when Hyo Joo called her. “He’s not there? But I thought…” She became surprised when she had known that Yunho didn’t come to meet them and thought of places he could have gone but none crossed her mind.

“I’ll give him a call then” She hung up and dialed his number but he didn’t pick up a couple of times and it made her curious.

“Where is he?” She asked herself as she removed the ring he gave to her. She raised it up to her eye level and deeply sighed. She’s going through something she can’t handle. It’s complicated for her and she bet it’s the same for Jaejoong.

She placed the ring back on her finger then stood up when she remembered their place…the place that withholds their hidden memories. She decided to go there and stay for the rest of the day.

*

It was time for the sun to set down when she reached the shore. Nothing had change, she thought. It was still the same and it stabbed her heart.

It never came to her, during those five years, that there will be a chance that she will come here. She felt strange a bit, sort of giving her a fresh feeling even though many things happened in this place. Some of which she didn’t like at all.

She witnessed the sunset and it made her cold inside. It was also the time of the day when she left the country and was certain to forget about him but…

“Hey” She looked back as she heard a guy’s voice and her heart thumped hard but relaxed soon when she saw Yunho coming closer.

“Where did you go? Hyo Joo was asking for you and you didn’t pick up my calls” She stood up and dusted off her pants but he didn’t answer her. “And how…how did you find me?”

“I’m sorry” He said and when she faced him, he was looking down.

“Sorry for what?” She asked and he held her hand in return.

“Let’s go back” He turned away and started walking, leaving her puzzled as she let him pulled her towards his car.

*****

A/N two more chapters to go then the story will come to an end