DONGHAE

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I stifled a yawn as I walk inside the school gates.

Silence surrounded me as I walked in a bit slow pace towards the field with my sports bag on my shoulder and bottled water on my right hand. Just like yesterday, I I got up early and left early; leaving just a note for HyukJae to read when he wakes up and that's like, 2 hours from now. Reaching the field, I chose to leave my bag on the bench and proceeded to the center. But I wasn't in the mood of playing; in fact, I wasn't here to play at all. Letting out a short sigh, I sat down on the ground with my soccer ball in between my hands as I thought the reason why I was here again; YunHo.

"I want you to be my boyfriend," he said without blinking an eye, locking gazes with me and he was wearing a serious expression, voiding any signs of playfulness he showed a little bit while a go.

"You are such a wimp, you know," I answered back in a cold voice, my eyes staring back but there was no emotion in it and I saw him widen his eyes a bit.

"What? But you lost the bet, you have to comply," he insisted, sounding stubborn.

"Yunho-ssi, do you like me?" I asked, unfazed by his tone.

"Of course I do. That's why I am asking you to be my boyfriend," he answered.

"What did you like about me?"

"I---I liked---" he started, but I can see from his expression that he is trying hard to think of a legit answer and I waited for a few seconds. But, as the clock tick, he can't give a proper response, so I spoke first.

"You can't even say what it is you liked about me; how do you expect me to give you what you want?" I said and he looked up, and stared into me. "I've been in love, YunHo-ssi. This thing called liking someone, or loving someone...I experienced it for the first time, you know," I smiled a bit.

"And it hurts," I continued, looking away. "I liked that person because he is kind, sweet and unpredictable. He has a temper at times and very dense. We are close; so close that I thought we'd have a chance. But then, it didn't work because he is not like that. He's not like me. And no matter how many times I tell myself that I am fine with just being friends with him, the closeness is making it hard because I always crave for more. I want him to feel the same way, to want me the same way as I want him. I wanted him to see me the way I see him; how I see only him. But he can't. He doesn't. In my eyes, he's the epitome of happiness and I always thought of how nice it would be if we'd be together. But in his eyes, I am just Donghae, the person he knew; a good friend and a person who is irreplaceable. He's happy, but I'm not. But I don't show it. How could I show it? He doesn't even know how I feel and telling him would mean I'll erase any connection we have and even if it sounds pathetic, I'd rather just be his friend, than be nothing to him at all," I ended.

There was silence, and I don't dare look up. I realized, this is the first time I ever opened to someone again. It felt nice and relieving; as if a great load was carried off my shoulders. I closed my eyes, and felt wetness on my cheeks. I chuckled; I'm crying again. Bringing up a hand to wipe off the substance, I was suddenly wrapped in the strong arms of my companion, his hand running up and down at my back, and the other caressing my hair. I stayed there, limp as YunHo tried to sooth me, but the tears kept on coming so I unconsciously placed my head on his shoulder, allowing my tears to soak his shirt.

"I've never been in love," he spoke in that gentle voice, still doing the actions and I listened.

"I don't care about feelings and I am rather uneducated with things that is associated with that. I am a happy-go-lucky person and I do get confessions sometimes. At some invitation, I got to dates but it never gets far; just making out and after that I go on as if nothing ever happened and i usually just erase any encounter with another person. I am not good with dealing with these and I don't know how to comfort you. But---

"This is the first time I ever really wanted to see someone happy. I am selfish, I admit. All I care about is myself and don't care about others. I do what would benefit me and don't do things that would do well for other people. But with you---that day you challenged us in this same field, your eyes full of passion or anger; I was bewitched. I don't know how you do it, it's just---I feel myself drawn to you. I was so drawn that I even became a bit of a stalker. I hated how you we're with that KiBum and that KyuHyun. How you'd show them that smile and how they can hear your laugh. I hated it when I see you hugging or kissing them. I hated it if you walk casually on the halls, holding hands with either of them. I hated how they are close to you and I'm not. I hate it that they can talk to you so easily, while I stay in the sidelines; silently watching you. I hate it that they know you so much and I don’t. And I hate that person who hurt you. Because I hate seeing you like this. What I wanted to witness is the sweet and bubbly Donghae; not a crying and sad one."

"Sorry you had to witness this, then. I am sure you're very disappointed," I spoke, muffled because I was still resting my head on his shoulder.

"Weirdly, I am also glad; that you showed me this side. So, I wanted to change my wish," he said as he place his hands on my shoulder and gently pushed me to put distance on our bodies. I shivered a bit as the warmth left me but looked up to meet his eyes, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"I would like to get to know you," he said in that calm tone and a serene expression.

I smiled, "That would be nice," I answered and he smiled back; lifting a hand to wipe away the remnants of my tears before he patted my head.

"If I know you well enough, and discover why I like you, would you then become my boyfriend?" he asked in a playful, but still serious, tone.

Chuckling a bit at his aggressiveness, I replied, "If you can make me fall for you; why not?"

Letting a smile invade my lips, I felt someone behind my back.

“You’re early again,” I heard YunHo as he sat down beside me with his shoulder bag and his own soccer ball.

“Woke up early,” I replied. “Good morning.”

“It is a good morning, indeed,” he spoke and I can tell he’s smiling. “So, Donghae-ssi.”

I hummed in response.

“Instead of playing, why don’t we just---talk? And you know, get to know each other?”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

*

It was a bit surprising how YunHo can be so fun to hang out with. He doesn’t seem to get tired of trying to make me laugh even if sometimes I only laugh at how pathetic his jokes are or how his expression would look like a kicked puppy because of my lack of reaction, he still continue. Gladly, he does not act that arrogant and obstinate, but rather he acts like how a friend should do so and it felt kind of nice to have a change of atmosphere. Sure, I have KiBum and KyuHyun all the time, but YunHo is giving that vibe that you get when you get a new friend and it is pleasant in a way. We didn’t even realize we’d almost be late for class if not for the bell ringing and so with smiles and friendly goodbyes, we parted but made a promise to meet at the field the next day. And when I ran to my room, a minute before our teacher came, my classmates are staring weirdly at me but I tried to ignore it as I took a seat beside Kyu and KiBum.

“Did something good happen?” KiBum whispered, as the teacher was checking the attendance.

“Why?” I asked, waiting for my name to be called.

“Present,” I heard Kyu spoke loudly, before he turned to me, “you’re blooming, hyung.”

I quirked a brow, “what does that even mean?”

“That means---present! That means you look so happy. Mind telling us why?” KiBum informed me and looked at me with suggestive eyes.

“Present!” I spoke, before turning to him, “I made a new friend.”

“Who?” the two spoke at the same time.

“YunHo,” I answered and I didn’t miss the look of confusion on their faces.

“So---you rejected him from his wish?” Kyu was the first to whisper, as the teacher asked the class to pay attention as he begin the lesson.

“Yes and no,” I answered, not looking at him as I answered in a hushed tone as I was looking at the board.

“Explain,” KiBum countered.

“I told him I don’t want to be his boy friend, but he changed his wish and said he wanted to know me first so we started being friends, and we are now.”

“And?”

“And what?” I frowned.

“I know there’s a continuation. Just spill it, Hae,” KiBum ushered and I let out a defeated sigh.

“He said that if he knows me well enough, he’d court me,” I spoke in a whispered voice, feeling warmth spreading on my cheeks.

“Court you?” KiBum spoke in a hushed, and clearly amused voice and I meekly nodded, now looking down on my lap instead of concentrating on the board.

“Wow, how old fashioned,” KiBum said in a breathy voice, “I like it. You should introduce him to us,” he added and turned to smile at me.

“Kim KiBum, Lee Donghae,” our attention was caught and we both looked up to realize the teacher’s glaring at out direction. “Stand up and come in front,” and reluctantly, we obliged. Once we reached front the teacher said, “Answer number one, Mr. Kim and you answer the next Mr. Lee.”

KiBum and I faced the board.

1.     Find a continuous function f:(0,1) --> R with an image equal to R.
2. Find a continuous function f:(0,1) --> R with an image equal to [0,1].

Then, at the same time, we turned to look at each other with knowing gazes as we took a chalk and started writing. KiBum was done first and I finished a minute later and when we we’re done, we both turned at the teacher’s direction with smiled on our faces.

1.)   f(x) = tan(π(x - 1/2))

2.) f(x) = |sin(πx - π/6)|, min of 0 at x = 1/6, max of 1 at x = 2/3.

“Sit down,” was all the teacher said and we returned to our seats, with smug looks and we finally just listened to the discussion.

*

“Heard you answered some calculus problem easily on your class,” HyukJae was, once again, beside me as I waited for KiBum and KyuHyun on our lunch table.

“It was just math, Hyuk,” I replied, uninterested.

“Well, sorry Mr. Nerd, I am not like you,” he teased and ruffled my head.

“Jae!” a voice called over behind us and I can easily tell who it is. HyukJae turned to look back and I can sense him waving but he’s not leaving the table.

“Why are you still here?” I asked, not meaning to sound a bit cold.

“We’re eating lunch with you, guys. Hope you don’t mind,” he informed me and I quickly looked at him with wide eyes, not knowing how to respond.

“Don’t you eat with your club mates or Ji Eun-ssi’s friends at the center table?”

“Well, we wanted a change of environment,” he replied cheekily and soon, we were joined by IU who was followed by KiBum and KyuHyun. KiBum didn’t sit at once as he eyed the people on our table.

“Our table is unusually full of people today,” he spoke in an indifferent tone as he settled down beside me, gently placing a chocolate pudding in front of me.

“Is it alright for us to join you?” IU asked in a sweet voice.

“You’re already here, is there anything we can do?” KyuHyun replied, uncaring, as he passed the chocolate shake to me.

“Watch your words, Kyuhyun,” HyukJae warned the younger but Kyu ignored as he started eating and I can feel myself getting uncomfortable. Why does he need to be here? Why do they have to sit with us? Does he really have to show me how much he cares for his girl? I tried to ignore the emotion welling up inside me as I see in my peripheral vision how Hyukjae’s taking care of her. Even if I am this close to him; even if I am literally just beside him, all his attention is turned to her. Shaking my head from thinking too much, I just concentrated eating my pudding.

“Mind if I seat here?” someone spoke behind me and I looked back to see YunHo, smiling sweetly at me.

“And you are?” KiBum asked, not sounding rude.

“He’s YunHo,” I answered and made a space a bit and when KiBum heard, he willingly moved beside KyuHyun, leaving the space for YunHo to seat in which he happily did.

“So you’re YunHo-ssi. Nice to meet you,” KiBum smiled, offering a handshake. “My name is---”

“Kim Kibum, I know you,” YunHo replied, accepting the handshake and offering a smile at my best friend.

“Oh really?” he said as they released their hands.

“Yeah, Donghae kept of mentioning you. It’s not that hard to know who you are,” he replied in a gentlemanly way and I didn’t miss the satisfied smile KiBum had.

“You must be KyuHyun?” YunHo asked and Kyu looked up with bored eyes as he just hummed in response.

“Ignore him, he’s always like that,” I whispered at YunHo as he looked a bit embarrassed from Kyu’s lack of interest. He smiled at me and I smiled back and we were interrupted by a cough. YunHo looked to my other side.

“Oh, hello,” he greeted.

“Hi,” Hyukjae answered.

“You must be EunHyuk. You’re Donghae’s cousin, right?”

“Yes. How did you know? Did he told you that?”

“Umm---no, he didn’t. You’re quite popular in school for being the head of the dance team and being the boyfriend of Ji Eun who is sitting beside you,” YunHo answered in a quite indifferent tone and I heard some chuckle. Turning at KiBum, he had an amused face.

“Ah, really?” HyukJae replied blandly.

“YunHo, why are you not eating with your friends?” KiBum changed the topic and I sent him a grateful look and he just winked at me knowingly.

“Oh, no particular reason. I just wanted to spend lunch with Donghae,” he replied naturally, using that charming tone that I choked on my pudding and I felt hands patting my back and two hands were in front of my face, offering a tissue. I looked at my left and right, seeing HyukJae and YunHo giving me worried glances before they looked at each other; both wearing blank faces. To get out of this mess, I got the tissues from both of them and wiped my mouth as I coughed a bit more before calming down.

I was never more grateful to hear the bell ringing as we all stood up from our table and proceeded to our classes. KiBum and KyuHyun snickering beside me as we walk to our next class. And I tried to put everything that happened in the cafeteria at the back of my head as classes resumed.

*

“Kyuhyun-ah, let’s go,” I grumbled, pouting a bit as Kyu was moving slowly on purpose.

“Why are you in a hurry, hyung? We have plenty of time,” he reasoned, still not picking up his pace, placing his pencils one by one inside his pencil case.

“Because it is my first day,” I whined a bit, grabbing the other materials on his table and shoving everything inside his bag and I glared at him. “Come on.”

“Where are you going?” Hyukjae asked, after watching the exchange I had with the younger. KiBum left early saying that he needed to arrange something in the restaurant because some clients chose them to cover a big event.

“Music room,” I replied not looking at him.

“Why do you have to go there?”

“Because he’s part of the singing club, idiot,” KyuHyun answered.

“Since when? How come you never told me?”

“You never asked,” I said, still glaring at KyuHyun.

“I still have to ask you what you do?” HyukJae spoke, something in his voice made me turn to look at him and he was frowning.

“Of course. If you don’t ask, how am I suppose to know what you want to know,” I replied and sighed as Kyu finally stood from his chair and took my hand, walking out of the room.

“Hey, monkey, I’d bring him home again,” Kyu said, and we both looked to our right to see Ji Eun walking towards us, clearly going for HyukJae. So, Kyu spoke again, “Have fun with Ji Eun-ssi,” before we walk to the music room.