DONGHAE

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We’re back to square one.

It’s better, I guess; at least we’re not awkward anymore in which I am really grateful. After that breakfast, we reverted back to our old relationship; we became close friends. The ride going to school was uneventful since we just talked and talked, we don’t ignore each other in the hallways if we ever bump into each other and it was all going good.

But I was never prepared for this.

When the final bell rang, KyuHyun was talking about wanting to go to the mall to buy a new game he saw on the TV the other day and Kibum joined in saying that I owe him a shopping trip. We were too immersed in our conversation that neither the three of us noticed a figure entering our now empty room, going towards our direction.

“Long time no see, Donghae-ssi,” a voice called behind me and I turned my neck to look at the owner.

“IU-ssi,” I said, almost a whisper.

She smiled. “Hi.”

Returning back to my own self, I offered a small smile, “Hello. How have you been?” I asked politely.

“Oh, the wedding was lovely, it makes me want to get married soon,” she giggled and she looked to her right where I saw HyukJae on his seat, arranging his bag and preparing to leave. She wants to get married, huh? Well, that is nice.

“Really?” I said, sounding excited as I smiled brightly at her, “Be sure to invite me if the time comes,” I answered playfully.

“Don’t worry, you’d be the best man,” she replied and let out a giggle once again.

“Of course. I’d be honored,” I answered and ignored how HyukJae suddenly turned his face in my direction, and I can tell he’s watching my expression but I smiled steadily, not wanting to get affected; I will never be affected.

“Donghae?” I felt KiBum’s hand holding mine and squeezing it, and I can tell; he’s seen through me.

“By the way, IU-ssi, this is KiBum. He’s my best friend from New York,” I introduced, “Bummie, this is Ji Eun-ssi, she’s my cousin’s girl friend,” I turned at KiBum and showed him my smile.

“Nice to meet you, KiBum-ssi,” IU inquired.

“Me too,” KiBum simply answered before he stood up, dragging me in the process.

“Well, if you excuse us, we’d take our leave,” he said politely.

“Oh, sure. Jae and I are about to leave too, anyway,” she replied. “Where are we eating dinner, baby?” she turned to Hyukjae, who is quiet in his seat.

“Is that so?” KiBum answered again, getting my bag and his. “We’d go first, then. Kyu, let’s go,” he said as we walked, hand in hand, towards the door to make our exit with KyuHyun tailing us.

“Wait.”

I looked back, and saw HyukJae standing and looking at our direction before he looked at me but I avoided his eyes as soon as they found mine.

“What is it?” KyuHyun spoke, looking back too.

“Where are you taking Donghae?” HyukJae asked, something in his voice was off and I don’t know what kind of emotion he was using right now, or what he feels in general. So I just shrugged it off.

“Just somewhere,” KiBum answered.

“Tell me where,” Hyukjae insisted.

“Why do you---” KiBum started, and I heard anger in his voice.

“We’re just going to the mall, Hyukkie,” I cut off, not really realizing what I said and before I noticed; all eyes were on me and I almost face-palmed my face for the error.

“Umm---I…We’re just going to the mall, HyukJae,” I amended before I looked down and tugged KiBum’s hand; a sign that I want him to drag me away from here.

“You heard him. Bye,” KiBum spoke before we are out of the room.

*

The trip to the mall eased me off for a bit. I was really grateful that none of my companions ever mentioned the happening in the room earlier, and we just did what we came for; KyuHyun was so happy after buying the game saying something that I should try it sometime and KiBum bought too many clothes that we have to call the driver to carry the bags back to the car. After walking around, I complained that I am hungry and the two said they are too so here we are now, in a fast food chain to order some snacks.

“I’d get 3 orders of cheese burgers, large fries and diet coke, please,” I told the person behind the counter and she nodded as she got our orders, giving me the number saying that they’d just bring it over our table.

When I got back to our table, Kyuhyun and KiBum are both talking about something and stopped abruptly when they saw me; I raised an eyebrow as I seat beside Kyuhyun.

“What were you talking about?” I asked.

“Nothing,” they answered in unison and that made me more suspicious.

“And you tell me I am bad at lying,” I rolled my eyes but didn’t push the subject further since I wanted to tell them something, anyway.

“Hey, guys,” I started and they both hummed in response; why are these two acting like identical twins all of a sudden?

“I was thinking of joining the soccer team tomorrow,” I spoke.

“That’s a good idea, Hae. I’m sure you’d get in, you’re spectacular when you play,” KiBum commented and reached over the table to pat my head affectionately and I smiled.

“I was also planning to join the singing club,” I added.

“Really?! I am part of the singing club,” Kyuhyun said and that made KiBum and I turn to look at him with surprised eyes.

“What?” we both said, our jaws a bit slacked.

“Why are you so surprised?” Kyuhyun scowled.

“Because we are,” KiBum said, “and for the record, we haven’t heard you sing or saw you leave to go to your club. And honestly, I’d see you as a member of the electronics Club rather than the singing club.”

I nodded in agreement.

Kyuhyun scoffed and our orders arrived.

“You don’t see me going to the club because I never go; all they do was practice and vocalize. I am already good so I don’t really need it,” he said boastfully, eating the fries.

“Narcissist,” I muttered under my breath and Kyu turned to glare at my direction playfully so I stuck my tongue out at him.

“By the way, why the sudden urge to join clubs, Hae?” Ki Bum asked as he unwrap his cheese burger.

“I’m bored, and I have lots of free time so why not?” I answered nonchalantly, taking my own food from the tray.

*

When I arrived home, all the lights were on.

Getting my own spare key, I twisted the knob and entered. As I walked further inside the house I saw HyukJae, already in his pajamas, sitting on the sofa at the living room, eyes on the TV but as soon as he sensed me, he looked up and motioned for me to sit beside him in which I complied.

“Hey, what are you watching?” I asked lazily, taking the space beside him before turning to face the television where some drama was playing.

“I don’t really know,” he answered in a low, uninterested voice.

“Why aren’t you asleep yet?” I asked, curious since he’s already ready for bed but he’s here in the living room, doing particularly nothing.

“I was waiting for you.”

I turned to look at him, his face still on the TV but slowly, he turned to look at me too. There was something in his eyes---something I can’t quite tell. Just like earlier, that something in his voice. What is it?

“Why were you waiting?” I asked, not breaking the eye contact.

“I---” he started and I waited, “I don’t’ know.”

This time, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And that’s when I realized, my heart was beating hard again; it’s beating erratically just because he was looking at me, because he said he was waiting again. I am getting affected again, and I don’t like it.

“Hae?” he spoke, and I slowly opened my eyes.

“Yes?”

“Earlier you---you called me something,” he stared and I tilted my head to the side for a bit, momentarily forgetting what he was talking about.

“What?” I asked.

“You called me Hyukkie awhile ago,” he reminded me.

“Oh,” I spoke with a sigh, “that.”

I looked away, staring at the ground as I try to find explanation for that sudden name-calling. It was not intentional, I swear. It just slipped off my tongue without a thought. And why is he bringing it up now? Maybe he found it uncomfortable; well, that would be rational and his girl friend was there when that happened. As far as I know, cousins don’t give pet names to each other and it might have weirded him out.

“About that,” I started, “I am sorry. I wasn’t thinking when I said that and I am sure you were surprised, I was too. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable and I know you don’t---”

“I like it,” he cut me off, and again my eyes flew back to him, surprised.

“You like it?” I repeated, and I watch as his lips turned into a shy smile.

“Yeah, I like it,” he said.

“Really?”

He hummed in response. “Call me that again,” he suddenly requested.

“Eh?” I spoke, taken aback at his request.

He leaned a bit forward, looking expectant. “Call me using that name again,” he repeated and held his hands together in his chest and I chuckled how childish he looked.

I smiled at him. “Hyukkie,” I said in a whisper, but with the low volume of the TV and the quiet atmosphere, my voice was clear even if I spoke it lowly.

His smile gotten bigger and said, “Again.”

“Hyukkie.”

“Louder.”

I rolled my eyes at his antics. “Hyukkie! Hyukkie! Hyukkie!” I shouted at him and soon enough I was laughing, and he was too. We didn’t even notice that our bodies are closer that before; when did he get so near me? His one warm was at the back rest of the sofa, and he was close that I can smell the strawberry shampoo that he used.

“Again,” he demanded again.

“Hyukkie,” I spoke in a calm tone, looking into his eyes and his smile turned soft and I mirrored it.

“I want you to call me Hyukkie from now on,” he said and I stared at him, confused.

“Why?” I asked innocently.

“I don’t really know but just I love how your voice sounds when you call me that.”