! NOT PROOFREAD !

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LEE HYUKJAE

“I told you I wanted to talk to you,” I said in an annoyed tone as soon as I opened the door to my room and directed the words to the person sitting on my bed comfortably.

Sungmin scoffed, “Yes you did. And here I am.”

Finally entering my own room and dragging the chair on my desk to sit on, I let out an unsatisfied sigh as my sight went to the corner of the room before saying, “I don’t remember telling you to bring a brat.”

“I heard that,” Jong Suk said, glaring at my direction before he went back to whatever he was doing on my shelf.

“I meant for you to hear that,” I hissed at him and then I heard Sungmin chuckle at our childish fight.

“I was with my twin when you called so he got curious. And when I told him I was going here, he got excited and asked me to bring him. You know how he is when he wanted something,” Sungmin explained, as if he saying that would make the brat leave so I sighed.

“Oi, ugly monkey, where’s my Haehae?” Jong Suk spoke again and I turn to his direction to find him opening my drawers.

“First, stop touching my stuff,” I uttered in a low voice with matching glare, “Second, he is not your Haehae because he’s mine,” I growled fiercer.

Jong Suk looked at my direction, a bit shock on his face, before he shrugged his shoulders and joining his brother on my bed, bouncing on it a bit then he said, “Whatever. Just tell me where he is.”

“He’s not here.”

“What do you mean? I thought you---you said they live together,” Jong Suk turned sharply to her twin brother.

I let out a sigh as I felt that unexplainable feeling in my chest again. That sting I felt when DongHae said he doesn’t want to talk to me. That pang in my left chest when he said he loved me. That---that pain when he said we should just be---friends.

“We live together, it’s just that he said he won’t be coming home for a few days. He’s staying at his friend’s house,” I answered the brat unconsciously but I don’t care. I was too preoccupied of thinking about DongHae to even care anymore. When he turned his back on me that time, something inside me is pushing me to go and grab him. It was as if a voice was whispering in my ear that if I let him go, he won’t come back to me and that thought scared me. But then---there was also that voice contradicting the other. The other voice was saying to let him go. But the other was saying do hold him tight and I didn’t know what to do so I just decided to follow him. I followed him silently until he reached a big house and he rang the bell. I was hiding behind the tree, silently watching DongHae’s body, his back facing mine when I saw who the owner of the house was. KiBum’s face when his eyes fell on the other was pure of worry and he engulfed him in a hug. Then, there was that pain again. But I didn’t have time to recuperate when I heard KiBum’s words. They were so soft, but I heard it.

“Donghae, why are you crying?”

He’s crying. DongHae’s crying and I was the cause of it. A part of me was, I guess, happy because I knew DongHae cared so much that he even cried. But the other part, the larger one, made me feel like a bastard. Before I could even scold myself in my head, I heard his voice. DongHae’s voice.

“It hurts.” And that’s was when I decided to take my exit. I backed away from the tree, making sure they won’t know I was spying them and when I was successful in walking away, I got my phone and called the person who I thought would be able to help me; Sungmin. Donghae’s voice---I couldn’t even describe it. He sounded so hurt---so broken and I feel so bad making him like that.

“HyukJae, what happened?” Sungmin cut me out of my reverie and I snapped my eyes at him.

“I---we had a fight,” I started, clenching my fist at the hem of my shirt.

“About what?” Sungmin asked again, with that calm voice that always got me talking with ease every time I have a problem which is the main reason why I called him. And so, I started narrating.

“Last night, we were eating dinner and then I a bit but then he stood up and locked himself in his room. That’s when I figured he got mad so I immediately went up and apologize but he won’t answer back from the other side of the door and he didn’t unlock the door so I couldn’t go in so I thought I would just apologize to him on the morning. And morning came and I was actually preparing a small event of making him breakfast but I---”

“You? Making breakfast? Oh my god, you poisoned him?!” Jong Suk interrupted and both Sungmin and I turned to glare in his direction that got him shrinking down on the bed for a bit before muttering, “Sorry.”

“As I was saying,” I continued, taking in a deep breath, “I was about to make breakfast but then there was already prepared food on the table made by him and a note saying he left early. So, I felt really down because not only he got mad last night, it also seemed as if he was trying his best to avoid me. And so, I ate his pancakes and made a resolve that I would just talk to him in school since we only had field trip so I thought I had a bigger chance of talking to him then. So I got to school only to be disappointed when I learned we are riding different busses. I kept on searching for him but I can’t see him so I thought I’d talk to him in the park instead. When we reached the amusement park, one professor talked to me and asked me to wake DongHae since we were relatives and all and of course, I happily agreed because it could be the perfect timing. But when I mounted the car, did you know what I saw? It was that douche Jung YunHo kissing DongHae on the cheek and---”

A hand was raised on the air and my attention was on Jong Suk as he waved his hand on the air, looking pretty much like a kid wanting to be called by his teacher. So for the second time I was interrupted, but I said, “What now?”

“Sorry, but who is this Jung YunHo guy you seem to hate?”

I clicked my tongue, feeling my blood boil as he asked the question, “Oh I don’t hate him, my cousin. I merely---” I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath before I look at Jong Suk with a hard glare.

“Despise his existence, that is all,” I ended.

“But who is he, anyway?” Sungmin was the next to ask. “I am curious myself since you simply wish he wasn’t born at all and it seemed like he played a big role in this drama of yours. So mind telling us who he is?”

“He’s a guy who likes DongHae. That YunHo kept on following my wife around like a puppy, showing him his bright smile as if that would make DongHae like him,” I answered with disgust when I remembered how he always flash that smile on the brunette.

“Ah. I see. Okay, now that is cleared, continue with your monologue,” Sungmin said.

“So, yeah, I saw that bastard kiss my wife so I got pissed off and just told them to get down the bus. And then, after that---after that, you could say I was disappointed,” I said in a low voice.

“Disappointed? Why?” Sungmin asked.

“Because, I was obviously mad, right? And DongHae saw that and yet---and yet he was all around the amusement park, holding KyuHyun’s hand and dragging him anywhere like a child on the loose. He’s not even bothered that I saw him and YunHo in that situation and he was---he was just all smiles,” I said.

“So you wanted him to be worried that you got mad?” he asked.

“You could say that,” I replied.

“And why did you want him to worry? Why were you disappointed?”

“Because---because it made me feel like he didn’t care at all if I saw another guy seeing him. It felt like, it felt like it doesn’t matter to him if I get mad to him or not. It made me feel like he’s cheating on me for some reason,” I said, voicing out my feelings.

“Hmmm...and what happened next?”

“Well, I just kept watching him. I didn’t let him out of my sight even if I was with IU the entire time and I was dragging her with me wherever Hae go. And then, another opportunity came to talk to him, he was alone and Kyuhyun was resting that time so I was preparing to approach him and maybe play with him but then, that YunHo appeared again and snatched DongHae away. So, of course I followed them and I was a bit shock to find out they entered the haunted house. Not wasting another minute, I entered the house with IU beside me and then we were walking, and I kept on searching for DongHae but it seemed like they were ahead so I started walking faster but then, when we were in the middle of the maze, I heard a thunder. It wasn’t a real one, it was just a sound effect of the hunted house but still, I got worried. I know how Hae reacts with thunder so I was worried and I started running. And when we were able to reach the exit, something undesirable was right in front of me. YunHo and DongHae were hugging each other, and that bastard’s mouth was right next to Hae’s ear, whispering something and I can see Hae shivering a bit. When I can’t take the view anymore, I grabbed DongHae’s wrist and started dragging him away. I was angry, I know I was. It just felt like everything was crashing down on my and I needed DongHae to know. I was just---was out of my mind which is why when the doors of the Ferris wheel was closed, I faced him with a glare and I just started saying things,” I said.

“What? What did you say, HyukJae?” Sungmin asked.

“I---I told him how dare he could cheat on me and flirt with other guys. And I said I saw how he let that Yunho kissed him, or how he held other guy’s hand tightly,” I said, my eyes looking down.

“And then? What did DongHae reply?”

“At first he’s not really talking but then he started raising his voice too. He said I didn’t have the right to accuse him. And he told me if I have the right to tell him those things, to tell him he was cheating then he started saying what about those time I was with Ji Eun? The time I hold her hand and spent time with her and then---”

“And then, what?”

“And then I got mad because he brought IU in the conversation so I told him she was my girl friend first before we even got married.”

“YOU WHAT?!” The twins started shouting and I looked at them with shock.

“You---,” Jong Suk was the first to speak, “You have a girl friend while he is your wife?!”

“You are seriously in deep trouble, Hyukjae,” Sungmin said, more calmly.

“Oh of course he is! What the hell, HyukJae! I know you are a an idiot but I didn’t know you were this insane! Like, a girl friend?! What the flipping hell?! How could you do that to HaeHae?! You insolent bastard!” Jong Suk shouted and was about to dismount the bed with pure hatred in his eyes and I was pretty sure he’d punch me but thank god Sungmin place a hand on his brother’s shoulder to keep him in place. “Let me go, Minnie! He deserves to be beaten!” He struggled, and it never once failed to amaze me how strong this bunny was.

“I agree. He does need to take a few punches, but not yet, Sukkie, let’s hear him out,”  Sungmin said calmly before returning his eyes on me.

“What happened next?”

“I---he became silent and then he asked me a question.”

“What question?”

“He asked me, if I needed to choose between him and IU, who would I have picked.”

“And?”

I looked down, “And---I didn’t answer him. Until we reached the bottom again and he went out of the ferris wheel without another word, he walked passed me.”

“That is actually the best thing to do,” Sungmin concluded and I snapped my eyes at his direction.

“Why?”

“Why, you ask? Because anyone being told such words would definitely be hurt, HyukJae. I know I’m not an expert in this but judging from your situation, you seriously ed it up,” the bunny replied.

“Did you even know what your words ‘she was your girl friend first before you were married’ meant to him?” Jong Suk spoke again, this time in a calmer way. I shook my head.

“It was as if you told him he was the one you’re having an infidelity relationship with. It was as if you were telling him you’re cheating on that IU- with him and did you know how much that would have hurt?” Jong Suk spat and again, glared at me.

“I---I---”

“You didn’t know? Figures. You are a natural idiot from the start,” Jong Suk replied.

“HyukJae, let me just ask you...when DongHae asked you that question, how come you can’t answer?” Sungmin asked.

“I---I don’t know. It was as if something’s stopping me from answering him. As if there was that voice in my head telling me to just shut up.”

“Then, tell me, how do you feel about Ji Eun?” Sungmin asked again.

“I---she’s someone who made me feel like a have a place in this world. People liked it when I’m with her, people thought we look perfect and people wanted us to be together and I guess I got used to that.”

“Are you happy with her?”

“Yes. Of course, I was happy with her. She’s smart and funny and sweet too and I just---” I ended with a whisper.

“And DongHae? How do you feel about him?”

“He---he’s a different case. I showed him my bad side at first and he showed his but we learned more about each other so I guess we got used to our good and bad side which really made me feel comfortable with him since I could be the real me when I’m with him.”

“Does he make you happy?”

“He does,” I simply answered and a smile made its way to my lips.

“Do you love him?”

“I do. More that he could imagine,” I said without effort, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say.

“Then what the hell are you still doing here? Go and get him, you jerk!” Jong Suk shouted.

“But---”

“What? Is there more of the story, HyukJae?” Sungmin asked when he saw the hesitance in my eyes and I nodded.

“I talked to him this evening, before I called you, we had another talk. He was on the way out of school after his training with the soccer team and I came to bring him home and he made me talk and he listened. I told him why I got mad and apologized. I told him I love him, and he said he loves me too but then, he just---he told me to stop lying to him and just stop making him hurt more. He told me to stop making him hope, and---then, he told me that we should just be friends,” I said, feeling tears in my eyes at the last part and I quickly wiped it away because I never cried in front of this twins, and I will never show it to them.

“That is normal. He’s hurt and in pain so of course, he wanted you to go away for now but remember, Hyukjae---” Sungmin said and I looked up to see him smiling at me,

“If you really love DongHae, stop holding back and start chasing. It’s never too late to make things right.”

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@ririelle

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