DONGHAE

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It was already evening, and I am in my room reading a novel, leaning back on the headboard of my bed with the sheets covering my legs. Flipping another page, I can't help but recall how the day went by so fast and how the strangeness and awkwardness was seeping through my and HyukJae's form every time we are at close proximity. I remembered how uneasy we were when we had our breakfast together, how the atmosphere in the car was so heavy when we were on our way to the school, how we avoided to even pass by each other at the corridors, how we don't meet each other's eyes on the classes we shared and how we don't act the way we used to, talk like we used to. It feels like we reverted back to how we were back then; complete strangers.

But he doesn't seem to be having a hard time on avoiding me and that was plainly obvious.

She's back.

And no matter how many times I tell myself that she's got nothing to do with this, there is still that bitter feeling at the pit of my stomach when I'll catch a glimpse of them holding hands, chatting easily, laughing freely and just being sweet to each other. And I can't help but recall how we did all those together; how we held hands naturally. laugh and chat for who-knows how long, and how we drop random clinginess to each other. Shaking my head, I reprimanded myself mentally because I swore I won't get affected by this. Shrugging off the thought of Hyukjae, I flipped another page of the novel I was reading.

It is the possibility that keeps me going … and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible.

"Possibility," I muttered under my breath as I re-read the line again and again. Then, when I was sure I memorized the entire sentence I let out a lifeless chuckle, placing a palm on my forehead while shaking it in the process.

"Not everything is possible," I spoke again to myself as I closed the book; it was Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook and placed it on my bedside table. "That possibility kept me going too, but look where it led me," I continued, looking at the book like some retarded person.

"Sometimes," I spoke again, "believing in possibilities leads you to the most painful experiences, because possibilities make you hope. And more often than not, what you hope for is not what reality has planned out for you," and with that I switched off the lamp and lied on the bed, closing my eyes and forcing myself to sleep.

*

I woke up from the sound of my alarm clock and I slowly got up before switching it off. Stifling a yawn with my hand, I walked towards the bathroom to take a bath and get dressed. As I let the water of the shower fall down on my body frame, I was reminded again that his girl friend was back. And that only meant I have to go to school via the bus. Well, that's a good thing since I don't have to be around him too much. Then all of a sudden, I started thinking;

Am I being a little over dramatic?

I never acted the way I was before; heck, everyone can say something's going on between us because I wasn't acting like I used to. I changed into this just because he kissed me, and I am showing I was greatly affected by it by acting this way; avoiding and pushing him away, while all he does was apologize and tries to make it up for me in his own way. It wasn't a surprise to me when he seemed like he got that happening at the back of his mind already, especially since his girl friend is back in the picture; of course, all his attention would be focused to her and only her. And it's not something that I should even bother thinking and worrying about, because we have nothing going on between us; well, maybe except this awkward atmosphere that, I admit, I created. We're just married by paper, but in reality, we are just friends and nothing more. Since when did I become so selfish? 

This feels so new, but I know I have to make things better; for the people around us, at least. And that was what I had on my mind when I got out of the bathroom, changed into my uniform and went down the stair to go to the kitched and prepare breakfast, but I stopped midway when I heard a bothersome cluttering of pans inside my sanctuary.

"Damn it," I heard someone muttered in a whispered voice, but annoyance is also evident with it.

Not wasting another minute, I entered the kitchen and was greeted by the most ridiculous sight ever; there was flour everywhere, and HyukJae was at the counter, his one hand on his hips with a spatula while his other hand seemed to be holding something, his back was facing me so he hasn't noticed me yet, which is a good thing. I looked around to see some damage, but gladly, there was nothing serious except for a broken egg left on the table with it's contents smearing my clean counter. Sneaking behind Hyukjae, I looked over his shoulder to realize that he was reading an instruction from a pancake box and I can't help but smile childishly.

"What are you doing?" I whispered directly at his ear and he let out a little unmanly shriek and faced me. And my eyes went wide because his face was suddenly so close that I can feel his breathing hit my own, but still, I tried to remain unfazed as I chuckled at his ridiculous appearance; he is wearing the strawberry-patter apron we bought a few weeks ago, and he's got some flour on his hair and his nose. Reaching out a hand, I wiped his nose, trying not to dirty my uniform in the process.

"You scared me," Hyukjae spoke.

"That should be my line," I countered, "Why are you destroying my lovely kitchen? What are you scheming?"

He rolled his eyes before turning his back at me, and picking up the box again, "I was just trying to make breakfast."

"Oh, I can see you are doing well," I replied, sarcasm in my tone.

"Whatever," he said, "why are pancakes so hard to do anyway? Don’t we just crack and egg on the flour and cook it in a pan," he grumbled as he faced me again, his expression in a deep frown as he tried to decipher the instructions on the box and I chuckled.

"Pancakes are easy," I told him and took the box from his hand, and also the spatula, "just let me do the cooking. Clean the mess, instead," I said and didn't wait for a reply as I crack an egg on a bowl and started doing real breakfast.

I heard him sigh in defeat before he walked away, and I thought he'd start cleaning, but all of a sudden, he placed an arm on my shoulder and spun me around, securing an apron over my uniform and he tied it behind my waist. I looked down and smiled; it was the nemo-patterned apron, this time. Once he was done, I thanked him and he smiled before we resumed our own duties. Even with my back on Hyukjae, I can hear him working on the mess he created; I can hear him wiping the counter, sweeping the floor and not long enough, I can tell he was setting the table. I smiled and imagined how nice we actually looked; we are helping each other with household chores, and there was no air of awkwardness, just comfortable silence as I placed a stack of well-made pancakes on a plate and walked over to the ready table, Hyukjae already seated on one of the stools and I sat across him.

“Wow, that looks and smells amazing,” he commented, eyeing the plate of pancakes.

Rolling my eyes, I let out a soft chuckle at his amazed expression, “It’s just pancakes, Hyuk, not some meal made of gold,” I told him and grabbed his plate, placing a pancake on it before pushing it in front of him, and he smiled brightly at my direction before he grabbed his fork and ate at once, savoring the taste.

“Whoo, this tastes better that what I ever had in any of the places I’ve been,” he said and I raised an eye brow at him, as I sliced my own food into small pieces.

“Hyukjae,” I started and he looked up at me, with that twinkling on his eyes.

I sighed, “You are so obvious,” I stated and he looked at me, feigning innocence.

“You tried to make breakfast, complimented how amazing pancakes tasted even if you already had my pancakes for as long as we lived together, and you are giving that expression of a crazy guy,” I enumerated.

“Hey, I’m not crazy,” he defended himself, but I ignored him.

“As I was saying, you don’t have to try hard. I forgave you, didn’t I? Besides if someone has to apologize, it’s me for acting strange and distant. We’re good now, and I hope we revert back to our own usual selves,” I spoke gently, locking gazes with HyukJae as he nodded in agreement.

“Preparing breakfast really is a good plan,” he smirked and I chuckled at his confidence even if it is uncalled for.

“You mean, attempt to prepare breakfast. Just promise not to try bombarding my kitchen again, or else I will never forgive you no matter how much you grovel,” I shot him a playful glare and we continued breakfast and talked about random stuff.