LEE DONGHAE's POV

It was hard pretending to sleep the moment I lost the will to do so.

As soon as I felt the car stopped moving, I stirred, to show that I was asleep and slowly open my eyes, and clearly avoiding another pair of eyes who I felt was watching me. Stretching my arms a bit, I reached for the door and opened it, not uttering a word and I just went out of the car and went inside the house, not bothering to open the lights; after a short time, I’ve memorized my way going to my room, so it’s completely fine with the lights off. But as I was at the middle of the stair case, the chandelier was switched on and I squinted my eyes from the sudden brightness, but didn’t look to who was the cause since its plain obvious who did it, so I just continued walking up.

“Donghae,” I heard him call for me at the bottom of the stairs, and reluctantly, I faced him, not wanting to answer, just looking at him; I think I know what he’d say next.

“Um, I won’t be having breakfast tomorrow, I’d leave early. Is it okay for you to take the bus going to school?” He asked, scratching the back of his head.

I gave him a faint smile, “Sure, no problem.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Yeah. I’d get going. I’m really tired,” I said.

“Oh, okay. Good night, Donghae.”

“Night.”

My door made a faint click sound as I slowly closed it and trudged towards my bed, and as soon as I reached it, I let myself fall and be embraced by the covers, I bounced for a bit, reached for my pillow and hugged it close to me.

What’s this sudden feeling bubbling inside me? I don’t like it one bit; it feels as if it’s crushing my heart, it’s making it hard for me to breathe, and it’s making me want to cry. That alone made me scared. I do accept the fact that I have a crush on HyukJae, a bit, right? I know I like him one bit, but this feeling is telling me otherwise. Is it possible to feel something so strong for someone you just grew close to for some time? It’s not even a month, and I am already like this. It is possible?

It’s even stronger than the feelings I had for Bummie before; by the way, he’s my first love, and I was his first love, apparently. I know it’s weird how we did not end up together and such, the answer’s easy; we value our friendship more, and we are not ready to risk it for something that doesn’t have a stable foundation, so tossing our feelings aside, we became closer than we were. Sure we are sweet, and by sweet, I meant like lovers, but we know our boundaries. People always say we are together, but we’d just laugh it off and say we are not. And by doing that, our bond became stronger, if possible, tighter. We act like lovers, but stay as best friends, for me it’s the most wonderful thing. But with Hyukjae, I know this is a different case. I never get so hurt if Bummie would have a boy friend, I don’t cry when Bummie talks to him, and I seriously don’t sulk when Bummie’s not with me all the time. So why am I acting like this right now?

The sudden ringing of my phone distracted me from my muddled thoughts, and I slowly grabbed my phone at my bed side table; I left it here when we went to the mansion. Still burying my face at the soft fabric of my bed, I answered the call without looking at the caller ID, and gave a slurry, “Hello?”

“Hey, cutie. Are you sleeping already?”

“Sungmin,” I said, and rolled on my back, and stared at the blue ceiling.

“Yes, my baby? You got home faster than I expected. What time did you arrive?” He asked, and it feels nice hearing his calm voice, I can feel myself calming down to.

“About 15 minutes ago, Min. How about you and the others? Did you go home safely?”

“Oh, not yet. Our parents are having the time of their lives; guess they had a lot of catching up to do. I just went out because it’s getting too noisy there, with the elders chatting and the guys laughing like bears,” he said, and I can tell from his voice that he was annoyed.

I chuckled, “Chill, Min. Sorry if we left early, I would have accompanied you if I’m still there.”

With that, his tone changed into a sweet and soothing one, “That’s okay, baby Hae. Your monkey was just jealous so I understand at all that he wants to take you away from Hyun Woo, that kid seems to be getting attached to you,” he said and I quieted.

“He wasn’t jealous, Min,” I said in a hushed tone.

“Haehae?” Sungmin said, clearly aware of my sudden change of tone.

“Sungmin, can I ask you something?” I started; I just wanted to get this all out of my system once and for all, and it felt like Sungmin is the right person to open up with whatever’s bothering me.

“Go ahead,” he answered.

“Is it okay to like someone who’s in love with someone else?”

The question itself sounds stupid, since we both know we’re married, as in legally married, and it is not bad at all to like each other, right? But for me, being married and being in love are two different things. Marriage can be planned, can be forced, but love---it comes naturally, it’s magical and it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.

When I heard Sungmin not answering, I chuckled at how pathetic my question might have sounded from him; especially since he knows I am married, and to his cousin to boot.

“Never mind. I was just asking hypothetically. You don’t have---”

“It’s about Hyuk and Ji Eun, isn’t?” his voice was suddenly serious. But that was not what caught me off-guard; it was the names he mentioned.

“You know?” I asked in a hushed tone.

“Yes,” he answered back.

“O—oh, is that so? Haha, you two are really close, huh? I bet everyone knows it, right?” I tried sounding casual, I don’t want him to think that I am being affected by this.

“No, it just the two of us, Donghae,” he answered, still in his serious voice.

“Aaah, I see, okay,” it’s hard sounding so care-free. Even I know I sound so forced, damn it.

“Donghae-baby,” he crooned and I sighed.

“What’s it, Min?”

“Do you like him? Hyukjae, I mean?” He asked, something in his voice tells me he’s worried.

“Can you keep a secret, Sungmin?”

“Of course, honey.”

“I think---I think I’m falling for him. And I don’t like it,” I finished in a whisper.

“Donghae, just---wait, we’ll talk about this tomorrow, arraso? I have to go, mom’s calling for me. Sleep, my baby. Good night,” he crooned and the line was cut, and I just remained there, the phone still I my ears and listening to the dead line.

Grabbing the covers of my bed, I hugged my pillow tightly and forced myself to sleep, knowing very well that I’d be waking up in an empty house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up at 6:30 in the morning with my alarm clock annoyingly beeping. Reaching out to switch it off, I forced my body to get up as well and take a shower. I decided to take my time in the bathroom, enjoying the way the warm water flows down my body; imagining it washing away the unwanted feelings, and I smiled at how impossible that sounded. After what seemed like forever, I stepped out of the shower and got dressed; the clock says its 7:10, I still have time.

Going out of my room, I was greeted by a quiet, empty house; I climbed down the stairs with heavy steps, and took longer to reach the kitchen. I opened the fridge to decide what to eat for breakfast but I was greeted by cartons and cartons of strawberry and chocolate milk, a smile was playing at the corner of my lips; I can’t believe he just bought milk instead of real food, aish, HyukJae. Since there doesn’t seem to be a decent meal in the fridge, I just grabbed a carton of chocolate milk and decided to go for a grocery shopping later; I definitely need to buy grocery if I don’t want to live off with just this drinks. Slinging my bag on my shoulder, I went out of the house, locked it and was about to get taxi when I saw someone familiar.

“Minho-ah!” I waved at him, and he looked up. Something’s wrong though, instead of showing me that brilliant smile of his, he pouted, and his eyes looked sad, so I decided to cross the street and ask my neighbor what’s wrong.

“Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” I asked, patting his shoulder.

“Donghae-hyung, I---I don’t know what to do,” he started, tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes; too shocked about his reaction, I cupped his face with my hands and wiped the tears threatening to fall with my thumb and brought his face closer to mine, studying him. I felt him relax in my touch and when he finally looked at me straight in my eyes, I gave him a faint smile, “Relax, Minho, now tell me what’s wrong?” I crooned.

He drew in a breath, “Taemin---hyung, my brother’s sick---and, and I don’t know what to do---I can’t contact my parents, and I don’t want to bring him to the hospital, hyung. I can’t---be—because, I am scared of hospitals---I am a failure as a hyung,” he started trembling and this time I engulfed him in a hug.

“Shh, don’t worry, hyung’s here, I’d help you take care of Tae-baby, okay? Come on, let’s go in,” I told him, and as I released him, he lead me inside the house. The interior itself is very homey; it’s decorated with wooden furniture, and there are a lot of family photos hanging by the wall painted with peach, I liked the house already. We were climbing their staircase when I decided to break the silence, “So, what is Tae’s illness?”

“Fever.”

“That’s easy, I can help you; I’d just call Kyu and tell him I’d skip today and we can take care of your brother for the whole day,” I said, looking inside my bag for my phone.

“Is it okay, hyung? Aren’t I bothering you so much?” He asked in a rather guilty tone.

After retrieving my phone, I faced at my companion who’s looking at me with weary eyes and gave him my toothless smile, “What are you saying? I haven’t seen you in a long time; I miss you two, so it is more than okay, besides, I’m sure I won’t miss so much activities in schools since it’s just for a day,” I said and dialed Kyuhyun’s number.

I saw Minho entering a room which has a “Tae-Tae’s Room” hanging on the room, and I told him to go ahead. After three rings, Kyu answered the phone.

“Donghae-hyung? Good morning, what’s up? Are you in school yet?” Kyuhyun asked.

“Nope. And by the sound of it, you’re just on the way to school, am I correct?” I answered.

“You know me too well,” he teased.

“Ani, I can hear the engine of the car, idiot,” I told him and chuckled at how he grumbled saying the car’s too noisy and other nonsense.

“By the way, Kyuhyun-ah,” I started, “I won’t be attending school today bec---”

“What?! Why?! Are you sick?! Hyung, what’s your address?! I’ll go there now!” He started rambling and I had to put the phone away from my ears for a while because he’s just too noisy.

“Shut it, Kyu. At least, let me finish first,” I told him and he did shut up.

“Sorry. Go ahead,” he said, calmly now.

“My neighbor’s baby brother is sick; remember? The one I told you before, Minho and Taemin?” I explained.

“Ah, that. I remember, so?”

“So, I am helping Minho take care of taemin baby since their parents are not around and Minho doesn’t have a clue on what to do and I do know how to care for the sick,” I explained while rolling my eyes; Kyu can be so interrogating some times.

“Wait---just---the two of you?”

“No; technically, we’re three, but only Minho and I are taking care of Taemin, since Taemin is the one who’s sick, duh,” I told him.

“Eh? But hyung~” Kyuhyuh whined, but I just chuckled at his childish behavior; that kid had been so protective of me for the past few weeks we spent in school. Everyone knows I am gay and all, and since then, I’ve been receiving a lot of love letters, from both girls and boys, and I can feel that I am constantly watch wherever I go, and Kyuhyun, who did not missed the change in the way everyone’s approaching me, started pledging himself to be my bodyguard. It was a sweet thing for him to do, and I just learned he knows how to fight, because whether you believe it or not, the kid’s a black belter in taekwando and he knows boxing, surprising, isn’t? So, there, ever since then, he’s keeping an eye on me because even some of the teachers are showing signs, and I wouldn’t have noticed it if Kyuhyun didn’t point out how our P.E. teacher’s staring at my longer than necessary.

“Kyu, you’re doing it again,” I told him, and I heard him took a deep breath.

“Sorry, I guess the protective me is starting to take over my system,” he said with a chuckle, “But hyung, be careful, okay? I still don’t know that guy, and who knows what he will do to you. Call me as soon as he does something out of character; if he touches you out of nowhere, or if he starts talking like a , okay? Promise me, hyung.”

“Yes, yes, I will, Kyuhyun-ah. Do tell our teacher’s, okay?” I told him.

“Sure. I’d hung up now, hyung, I’m here already,” he said, “remember what I told you.”

“I told you I will, Kyu. Well then, bye, take care,” I answered.

“Hmm. You too, take good care, hyung,” then the line was cut. I returned my phone in my bag and entered Taemin’s room; it looked like the small version of my own room, except for the toys scattered everywhere, and the rather smaller bed in the middle with Power Ranger covers, it looks exactly the same.

“I guess we like the same color,” I said, and walked towards MinHo who’s sitting at the edge of his brother’s bed, his hand resting at Taemin’s forehead and I smiled warmly at the sight; Minho is a good brother, I can see it in his face. Sitting beside the worried big brother, I placed my hand at Taemin’s cheek and sure enough, he is burning.

“Minho, get a basin and pour water on it, and give me some towels too, can you do that?” I instructed him and he just nodded and bolted outside of the room.

I opened Taemin’s drawer and retrieved more blankets; I also grabbed a new pair of clothes for the kid since his clothes now are slightly sweaty. Going back beside the toddler, I started ing his pajama top, carefully to not wake him up, and thank heavens this kid seemed to be like a heavy sleeper since he didn’t even move an inch when I finished dressing him up. After a few more minutes, Minho came back in the room with the things I asked, and he put them down on the bed side table. I grabbed the towel and dipped it in the basin, squeezed it and started Taemin’s sweaty forehead; Minho started cleaning his brother’s room, placing the toys in a basket.

“Minho, come here,” I called for him quietly, and he obliged.

“Do you need anything more, hyung?” he asked but I lightly shook my head, and I took his hand, placing the towel in his and guided his hands to his brother’s face.

“This is how you do it, Minho-ah,” I told him softly, and held his wrist tightly as the towel in his hands wiped Taemin’s body, the kid relaxed at the touch and I smiled. I looked up at Minho and I saw him smiling at his brother’s calm face.

I took the thermometer at the bed side table and placed it at Taemin’s ear, it beeped and it read 38.4 degrees.

“It’s going down now, Minho,” I informed him.

“What a relief,” He whispered, continuing what he’s doing.

“Minho, you need to dip it again once in a while,” I informed him and he did what I told.

After a few more minutes of bed bathing Taemin, I decided to cook porridge for the kid; Minho said they have the ingredients in the fridge and I happily skipped to their homey kitchen. I started working in peace, feeling extremely light; maybe I just needed a break for a while, I am glad I didn’t go to school today. Humming a happy tune, Minho came into view, carrying the basin and placing it at the table before facing me.

“Thank you, Donghae-hyung. You don’t know how grateful I am,” he said, smiling at me; finally, that bright smile.

“No worries, dongsaeng, you and Taemin are my neighbors and we’re friends, I don’t mind at all, and besides, I like your house, it’s so homey,” I informed him, smiling back as I started stirring the pot.

“You are welcome to come here whenever you feel like it, hyung, you are very much welcome here,” he said, and I smiled more.

“Really?! Yes! Don’t take it back, okay?” I joked and we chuckled.

He made his way towards me and looked at the porridge, “It smells good, hyung.”

“I know,” I answered with a cocky tone and he ruffled my hair.

“Hey! I spent time fixing my hair!” I whined and pouted.

“Sorry, hyung. It just looked so fluffy,” he said, not sounding sorry at all, but he patted my head once again before opening the fridge.

“Do you want, hyung?” he offered me a banana milk and he’s already drinking one and I can’t help but smile at how adorable he looked.

“Banana milk? Seriously? I never would’ve thought---”

“It’s Taeminie’s favorite. I was just infected,” he answered, not caring at all that I am mocking him. Chuckling, I grabbed the drink and tasted; well, it’s not bad since it’s sweet and all.

The porridge was finished 20 minutes later and we checked on Taemin who’s still fast asleep in his bed, his temperature is now 36.3 degrees and we sighed happily as the heat on Taemin’s flesh diminished. Having nothing to do, Minho gave me a tour of their house; there are total of five bedroom, and it’s a two story house with a basement. We entered his room and it looked simple, yet comfortable. He has a bed at the edge of the room, a desk, a flat screen hanging at the wall, and a shelf of books, and also a guitar and some sports stuff.

“You really are sporty,” I commented as I looked at the trophies placed on his shelf; all of them read as the Most Valuable Player.

He just chuckled.

I grabbed the guitar at the side of the shelf and plopped down at his bed, and started strumming. He sat down too, at the edge of his bed as he listened quietly of the melody I’m creating.

“Hyung, are you hungry?” He suddenly asked. And that reminded me that I haven’t eaten breakfast, so I nodded.

“I’d just order pizza. What flavor do you like, hyung?”

“Anything’s fine,” I answered as I started playing the guitar again.

“Is seafood pizza okay?”

I looked at him, stopped strumming, “you like that too?” and he nodded shyly.

“I know not many likes that flavor but---”

“Actually I like that too,” I told him and we smiled at each other, it feels nice to have someone with the same likes as me. So, he ordered that and as we wait, we decided to watch a movie in his room; I let him choose and he picked Sorcerer’s Apprentice. As he put the DVD in the player, I relaxed myself at the center if his bed, leaning back at the headboard and stretching my arms. As the screen started showing the first part, Minho went to the bed and we silently watched the film, side by side, leaning back; but I slowly felt my eyes closing. I slept late last night, and I am finally experiencing the consequence of thinking too much at night, and I can’t help it so I laid my head on Minho’s sturdy shoulder and catched some sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I felt something touch my lips but I continued sleeping; it feels so comfortable.

But something touched my lips again so I forced my eyes to open and I was greeted by a bubbly Taemin straddling me with a cheeky smile on his lips and a messy hair.

“Finally! Hyung, I missed you!” Taemin said happily and wrapped his tiny arms at my waist, and I can’t help but chuckle.

“What about, me, Taemin-ah? Hyung took care of you too,” Minho’s voice said and I realized I still have my head on his shoulder so I sat up straight.

“Sorry I fell asleep,” I told him, smiling.

“It’s okay, hyung. You looked tired, and I’m glad my shoulder could be of use to you,” he said.

“Yeah, they’re really comfortable,” I told him and chuckled.

“Why are you two sleeping in one bed, Minho-hyung?” Taemin asked suddenly, pure curiosity in his voice, then, he gasped. “Are you two married?!” he shrieked happily. Minho and I looked at each other.

“You are married, aren’t you?! Only married couple sleep in one bed, just like mama and papa! Right? Minho-hyung, you’re married to Haehae-hyung, right? Right?!” Taemin insisted and we chuckled at his cute behavior, even if it’s quite awkward.

“No, Taeminnie, Donghae-hyung was just tired and I let him sleep in my bed,” Minho explained.

“Eh? But why are you in the bed, too, hyung?”

“Hyung’s tired too because he took care of a sick Taeminnie.”

“Then, Minho-hyung, why were you caressing Donghae-hyung’s face awhile ago?”

At this, I looked at Minho who avoided my eyes. I tilted my head to the side.

“You did?” I asked.

“He did, Haehae-hyung. I saw him, he was touching your face,” Taemin interrupted.

“I---I was just removing dirt on Donghae-hyung’s face, Taeminnie, you saw it wrong,” Minho told his brother but still avoided my eyes.

“Really?” Taemin pressed, and I chuckled at how similar he sounded with Kyuhyun when he’s questioning me.

“Really really,” Minho smiled at his brother.

“Kay. Hae-hyung, I’m hungry,” Taemin turned to me.

“Hyung cooked porridge for you, Tae, do you want to eat that?” Minho asked, standing up and fixing his hair.

“Of course, Hae-hyung cooked it, I’m sure it’d be yummy,” Taemin answered and I carried him in my arms as we made our way to the kitchen. I’m so happy to see this kid be this energy ball once again, he keeps on talking on how much he missed me and keeps kissing my face that I started giggling.

“I missed you more, Taeminne,” I told him and attacked him with kissed too, and tickled him at the same time. I was having fun with the kid that I didn’t notice the doorbell and Minho returning with the box of pizza.

“What time is it?” I asked him, still tickling the kid.

“It’s 1pm, hyung,” Minho answered and prepared Taemin’s porridge, then settled it in front of the kid.

“Hyung, feed me,” Taemin said.

“Tae, Donghae-hyung is hungry too, you know, you should be a big boy and eat by yourself,” Minho said.

“No, it’s fine Minho, I’d---”

“Then, you feed him, Minho-hyung,” Taemin suggested and I chuckled.

“That can work too,” I said and opened my mouth for Minho to feed me. I looked at him with amused eyes as he sighed and made me bite at the pizza he’s already eating.

“Yay! Now, Donghae-hyung can feed me,” Taemin said.