One Sided Love

We all sat in the guys house in complete silence, just completely thrown off by what we had found

Or should I say what we didn't find at all..

"How could he just leave like that!??" Seungri yelled angrily as his face held some anger but most of all, a look of abandonment.

I understood how he felt, I think we all did.

Our faces were baffled and betrayed.

Earlier upon arriving we had looked for Jiyong only to find his room completely empty, except for a letter on his wall, closing my eyes I remembered what the note said..

I'm leaving now, goodbye.

I don't know when I will be back for my hyungs or Genesis..i felt this was the best decision.

Don't bother looking for me, I'm not trying to be found.

Take care guys, I love you all.

-Jiyong

I blinked my eyes rapidly, already feeling the tears and a horrible feeling at the back of my throat.

I looked at everyone, and looked down.

How could he just leave??

Sniffling I pulled out my phone and did the only thing I thought I could do

I texted him.

Hoping he would respond to me, I wrote

To Jiyong Oppa

Jiyong oppa...where are you? Please come back...i beg of you...I'm really worried..and sad..

I sent the text and held onto my phone tightly, zoning out...

"Gen..Gen.." I felt a hand on mine and could feel the hand loosening my hold on my phone

"You're clutching onto it so tightly.." he whispered

I glanced at Seunghyun who held a worrisome expression, my eyes lost the intensity they had from when I was thinking about Jiyong, they softened and became sad once again. It felt like these past few weeks I had been crying all the time, like a giant baby. I sighed and looked away.

Losing hope in Jiyong texting me back I put my phone away and got up

"Genesis, where are you going" Daeseung asked curiously as all of them looked on, curious as well

Biting my lip slightly, I avoided eye contact

"Just going back home guys, I'm sorry"

"I'll take you" Seunghyun stood up suddenly and took my hand leading me away as the guys said their byes.

~Jiyong's POV~

I patted my hair dry as I sat down on the bed. I looked down at the floor and sighed feeling pretty empty.

I left to Japan, without letting anyone know I was here.

I knew I'd pay for leaving like this but right now...I felt it was the best thing I could do.

Getting up I searched for a shirt and slipped into it, while doing so I noticed my phone had lit up

Its probably one of the hyungs again..

Deciding it was nothing, I threw myself onto the couch and switched the tv on..

I mean hey..this could be like a vacation in a way..right?

My eyes drifted from the tv through the sliding doors that led to the balcony. I got up Ignoring the dull nonsense on tv, took my phone and made my way to the balcony.

It was night time but it looked magnificent

I sat on the ledge of the balcony with my legs dangling through the bars, looking out at the tall and architectural buildings

I felt somewhat at peace, even with all of the internal clashes I was having with myself

My heart ached as one person went through my mind..

Genesis...

My eyebrows furrowed at her name and I felt my body grow numb, I felt so alone...

Sighing I shook the feeling away and mindlessly fiddled with my phone, finally ending up checking who texted me.

My face changed from bored to surprised, my heart sped up as I looked at the message

...

From Gen-Gen<3

Jiyong oppa...where are you? Please come back...I beg of you...I'm really worried..and sad..

Clutching onto my phone I kept staring at the message

She's...sad...?

My eyes slowly teared up but I didn't cry, I thought long and hard about responding and finally decided to do so.

As I was about to start texting back, my phone started ringing.

I eyed the number curiously, wondering what he wanted.

I answered anyway though

"Yoboseyo" I stated with no expressions flowing through

"Don't come back." he spit out harshly

Shocked and angered by his words I said "Don't tell me what to do. If I want to I can come back right now" my eyes narrowed as if he was right in front of me

I heard him scoff on the other end of the line and cleared his throat "You're not. Whatever you're doing, isn't working. You're just hurting the people who truly care about you. Selfish and ignorant is what you are being right now. Really?...don't you think?" he demanded firmly

I looked into another direction and kept quiet

"Think. Try to before you act irrationally, I'm your hyung and despite how close we are, the way you are acting right now is disgraceful." he lectured me once more and I snapped.

"Then what am I supposed to do? Huh?! Tell me if you know so much! I'm doing what I think will make her happy! And clearly its not me, I'll be out of the picture soon though so don't worry. I wont be back, I'll be gone!" I shouted Into the phone with obvious pain shining through my voice.

Angry tears slid down my heated cheeks as I took In harsh and ragged breaths.

He seemed to be chuckling on the other end

"What the hell are you laughing at?!?" I yelled once again getting tired of his attitude

"You just don't get It Jiyong, everything Is revolving around you, all the time right? You're so selfish. Maybe if you didn't act like this, maybe if you were somewhat serious about things and maybe if you were slightly less unknowingly selfish then maybe you'd be the one Genesis picked" he said bitterly

At that statement I hung up the phone and slammed it down into the balcony floor slightly damaging the phone

I got up and slipped on a jacket and some shoes.

I needed a walk.

~Seunghyun's POV~

I rubbed my temples, completely frustrated.

I know what I said towards the end was uncalled for and a jerk move but...

Looking down at my phone, a bunch of emotions jumbled around In my chest, in my heart.

I placed my phone down gently on the bed and leaned back laying down, I stared at the ceiling in deep thought.

I had only spoke to Jiyong the way I did because I knew if I pleaded and begged for him to come back he'd refuse entirely. With the way I approached him, in the harsh and douche baggish way, it'd make him think through his anger...my words would impact him more.

I knew him better than anyone and I knew the way his mind worked.

I just worried about him trying a stupid stunt In an attempt to make Genesis "happy"

"Hes so foolish" I said out loud

Rolling onto my stomach, I buried my face Into the comforter of the bed

Warmmmm..

Sleep lingered around and then Into my body, the last thing I thought about was Jiyong doing something stupid.

~Jiyong's POV~

I jogged along the park, it was dark so there was nobody really there.

I had been jogging for about 20 minutes, my body felt pretty sluggish, more than usual, sweat dripped down my face as I gasped for air.

I took a seat on a nearby bench and heaved, my chest rapidly going In and out.

Tiredly I gazed up into the little lake pond thing in the middle of the park.

Seunghyun's words rang In my mind...

I didn't know what to do anymore...I was pretty much at my breaking point...

Because of the way I was feeling these few weeks over Genesis and Seunghyun I really haven't worked on music or my voice...I haven't even practiced for anything.

I had been a wreck, but I kept a face up towards everybody to make it seem like I was fine....when in fact I really wasn't.

I felt stupid but sometimes I got the feeling that I was just being a nuisance to everyone, especially Genesis....

I rested my face in my hands and kept thinking

Maybe it'd be better if I was actually gone...

I mean after all these years of keeping my feelings pent up for my best friend...just to be rejected because my other best friend had her heart all along...it made me sink into depression these past few weeks.

I bit my lip and blinked out some stray tears

I'm so stupid....

I kept thinking and thinking, making myself feel worse, making myself feel worthless, useless... thinking nobody would really notice if I was even gone, even VIPS would probably forget me as the leader of bigbang....my thoughts went on..

Towards the point where I just decided to actually rid myself.

Getting up I ran back to the place I was staying and decided to actually say goodbye to my beloved Genesis.

Upon reaching my place, I stepped inside and hesitantly dialed her number, which of course I had memorized.

"JIYONG OPPA??!" She sounded relieved, as if she was worrying the whole entire day

"Where have you been? Where are you? Are you alright?? BABO!" she said sounding out of breath and mad

Her words made me smile, even though she was mad, just hearing her made things a little brighter...but I had to say goodbye now.

With a sad smile on my face I painfully said "I'm sorry Gen-Gen...but goodbye...forever" I muttered the last part quietly but she heard me perfectly

"...what are you saying? Jiyong...are you alright??" she exclaimed with a shaky voice

Ignoring what she was saying I continued "Take care of yourself okay? I love you." pausing I heard her breathing pitch slightly.

I chuckled bitterly and went on "this love is one sided...and I understand. I don't blame you, you picked right." she tried cutting me off but I kept on going "Make sure he doesn't hurt you okay? Or else oppa will be very mad...be happy...I'm doing this for you. Don't try to help me, I'll be long gone by the time you find me."

I heard her sniffle on her end and I became sad "Don't cry okay? Everything will be better without me being a bother..." I muttered and smiled sadly once again feeling my heart clench.

Tears made their way down my cheeks, just knowing she was crying made me deeply and truly sad.

"Don't...whatever it is....pleasee..please...don't" her words became jumbled as she started to cry harder.

My heart ached just hearing her like this but..I felt their was no other way to deal with this because without her love I felt truly dead.

"O-opp-a-a...please" she begged sniffling hard as I imgained bucket loads of tears kept going down her face

I couldnt take her sobbing anymore, if I stayed longer I probably wouldnt do It...but it has to be done

I sniffled quietly and wiped away my tears

"Goodbye Gen-Gen, remember I love you." I said feeling my voice crack and give into my emotions

The last thing I heard was her yell no and then.... I hung up

Holding my phone to my heart I closed my eyes, crying as I felt my phone vibrating, knowing she was desperately trying to call back.

Opening my eyes, I flung my phone to the bed and with a determined look on my face I headed out my door.

Goodbye everyone

Stepping out of the building I felt hard rain hit my face...

The weather was exactly how my heart was feeling.

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Heyyy there everyone~ I'm sorry for not updating yesterday or the day before, I've been real busy making up work and writing essays xP blah. But heres the chapter! I hope its good and you guys like it, I reaaally do! Give me feedback and subscribe to me if ya like. I'm sorry this chapter is a bit depressing, most of the emotions in this chapter are due to experiences in my life so I shed a couple of tears while writing it >.<

<3 thanks for reading!