Thunder turned back to face his sister, barely holding back the tears in his eyes.  Thunder doesn’t cry often. Any time that he’s truly cried he was under extreme stress. But he coyldn't cry this time.. 

He only wanted to know one thing and one thing only. “Is that man here?” His entire body stiffened after letting those words leaves his mouth in a faint whisper. Dara just shook her head. “He hasn’t been for a while, I live here alone.” She looked up to the sun and held her breathe as if she was knew what was coming next. “And-““She got sick you know?” Dara soon brought her head down and looked back at her brother. “Just like mom was back then, she couldn’t fight it…Doongie.” Thunder drifted away from the gate and went closer to the pool edge. Only single tears jerked their way out of his eyes. His breath was heavy but he summoned some type of strength to accept the news he had just received. “Dara are you-“She just shook her head to him again. “I’m just fine little brother please don’t worry. I want to be happy. It’s not every day I get to see my little brother after so many years. You haven’t aged a bit.”

He forced a smile. “Noona is the one who hasn’t aged at all.” He sat beside her for a while and let his feet float in the pool. He didn’t care if anyone came looking for him or expected him to come back anytime soon all he wanted to do was sit there and talk with his older sister. She was the strength he needed in his life but it seemed she suffered just as much as he did they could bond without saying a word. “Let’s not talk like this anymore, I’ll come to visit you soon. Where are you staying I want to see omma too, I bet she’s just as spirited as ever.” Doongie just sniffled and let a light chuckle escape him. “Yup even when she was sick she never changed. “ Dara nodded. “So the people you’re playing with today they’re your friends? I’ve lived right here for a very long time it’s like we were meant to meet here.” “About that-“’YAH! Idiot what’s taking you so long?” Joon yelled from the gate but paused when Thunder didn’t look up. His hair jut fell in his face as he looked down at his feet floating around in the water. Dara glanced at Joon with wide eyes and pointed to herself in question. “He means me Noona.” He reached up and lowered his sister’s hand. Joon began to bow to Dara with a confused look on his face. “What is… this situation Doongie?”

Thunder’s pov

                Why would he pick now to become curious about my well-being? I knew well enough that he wasn’t concerned he was jealous and what right did he have? Plus he’s a self-righteous idiot that can’t even recognize that my noona and I are practically identical in this moment. “I could ask you the exact same thing but I’m behaving for your sake and accepting things as they are and I think I’ve decided to stay here tonight, have fun sleeping with Mir and tell Kwanghee hyung I appreciate him trying.” I didn’t say anymore to him I couldn’t even look him in the face. This whole thing was stupid we were just fine…just fine before I threw him that stupid party. It’s one of the few things I regret. I wonder…what Joon regrets.  “Doongie did you have a fight with your friends?” I exhaled and stood up from the pool. “Can you show me around your house? I want to make sure Noona is living well and safe.” We went inside to the kitchen Dara complained about missing omma’s home cooked meals and everything became blissful and reminiscent. Since she’s been better omma hasn’t cooked too much. I’m honestly afraid of her straining herself for me when I can just cook for all of us. “I know it’s probably not something you want to talk about right now but-“”It hasn’t been that long, I know that’s the problem. This whole situation is weird and fresh. We jumped in too fast and he’s stubborn and I’m reserved. I don’t know too much about him and vice versa and it’s a lot pressure on my chest.” I pulled my hair hard behind my ears. Tears poured from my eyes and landed on the smooth kitchen counter forming a puddle. “I’m just really afraid that this isn’t real, I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to be lost again.” It was silent except for my sniffles but I felt small arms wrapping around my back and securing themselves on my stomach. “So my little brother has grown up all on his own.” She laid her head on my shoulder for a while. “It’s okay to hurt and be confused Doongie there are people out there that want to help you but they can’t help you if you don’t want to help yourself.” “So what are you saying I do Noona?” “Talk to him. Ask him why he’s being a complete jerk and if that doesn’t work knock him out ^^.” She grabbed an apple from the bowl at the center of the counter, rubbed it against her towel and bit into it. “At least that’s what I would do. I know if I was in trouble I know you will protect me.” She made me smile. I missed having more simple relationships like family, people that just by blood have a bond with me that I don’t even have to work for. “Now get out of here I have to be getting ready anyway I leave to the Philippines tonight. I have a photo shoot in the morning so I hope things work out with you. I promise to visit as soon as I’m back or as soon as you’re all ready to have me over. I nodded and gave her a hug though she was still damp from the pool. It was awkward. She sped towards the stairs tiptoeing trying not to leave wet footprints across the already slippery tiled floor.

                “Doongie!” She called from upstairs and echoed through the house. “But stay here tonight if it doesn’t work out or if it does. It doesn’t matter just know that you’re always welcome here.” “Thank you… Noona.” “I-I love you Thunder.” Just like that she got ready, She really was prettier than any other noona. She was gone so soon and I felt even lonelier than before. It was just me and my thoughts left. The sound of thunder cracked and rippled through the sky above and shook the house and windows furiously. A rain storm at this time of year isn’t as strange as everything else that has been going on lately. But it reminded me of when we were younger and a family, it was hard to dig up happy memories from back then. We’d go out in the storm and drive to the nearest convenient store and fill baskets with junk food. It was the only time we were allowed to have anything sugary or too unhealthy so we made sure we went all out. We bought a tent and rented tons of different DVD usually ones we thought would be horrible so we would at least get a cheap laugh out. Thunderstorms were the best times for us, it was indoor camping time in our house. I wonder….why I remembered that right now. My cellphone started to vibrate on the kitchen counter, it had been a few hours since Dara had left and I still hadn’t moved a muscle. Just from the tone, and I only had two, it was Joon texting me. I didn’t feel like reading it I just kept thinking. How could my sister live in this house all alone. I noticed a stack of magazine on the counter beside me and filed through them. I guess she isn’t home so much she’s a model after all, always traveling. But doesn’t that get lonely, doesn’t coming home to this big dark empty house hurt her, there’s no one to greet her and say welcome home or cook a meal. Noona can’t cook she admitted it. Her cabinets are filled with instant Ramen bowls. My phone kept vibrating and that same tone followed. What could he possibly want from me now? I got up and went to the largest window in the living room and looked out at the suddenly dark and cloudy sky. Agh my legs were asleep. I noticed the down pour of rain begin and my phone started to ring I was calm enough to speak so I answered it. “Hyung, what is it?” Though I was calm the coldness in my voice wouldn’t thaw when it came to talking to him. “Where are you, what are you doing?” Why did he want to know? He sounded out of breath. “I’m where you last saw it’s not like I can go home. Shouldn’t you be enjoying your party hyung?””That girl-“ I sighed at his response and repeated myself. “Shouldn’t you be enjoying your party hyung?””Thunder I didn’t want any of this my parents did, Mir did. Not me I would have much rather spent this weekend back home, in our apartment laying around looking into your eyes adoringly then saying something completely idiotic to make you laugh.” “That- that doesn’t change how you’ve been treating me, that doesn’t explain why you would suggest that you be with anyone you wanted to be with because you have so many choices, choices that must be so much better than me that you would then go out of your way to cheat in games that I didn’t even want to be a part of so that another guy could win. So that you could sleep in the same bed together. I may not have a lot of experience in relationships at all but I know when I’m not being treated fair. What do I have to do for you to treat me like-“ I choked, the lump in my throat wouldn’t disappear I was going to cry and I hated crying.

                My voice started to crack when I talked. “How is it so bad to be with a guy and the guy is me. But it’s perfectly okay to be with guy when the guy is anyone else.” “This is about the Mir thing?” “NO @#%$!* what else would it be about?” “I’m an and a million other things but I am not a liar and I’m not a cheat I’m faithful to you and only you can I please see you so we can talk about this. You can be angry and you can leave if you want but I do want to explain this because I love you and you deserve that.” I looked out the window again. “It’s raining.” “I’ll come to you.” I shook my head even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “Explain it to me later I’m too tired for now. This is a thunderstorm after all the first one in a long time I don’t want to waste it. There’s somewhere I want to go. Bring money, and the car I might let you talk on the way there.”

:x I have to study but if I finish early I'll be updating again tomorrow.