Joon's p.o.v

Finally, instead of unloading a new bag for omma at the hospital she was packing her own bag to go home, her new home. She wasn’t going home with us ~ she’d fully recovered and had overwhelming guilt on her shoulders for being such a burden on her son for his entire life. She couldn’t dream of intruding in and living with her son and his boyfriend when he’s finally found happiness as well as made someone else happy. It was an odd thought for Thunder. I could see it in his eyes. All he wanted to do was snuggle up with is mom one more time and he was just aching to take care of her even though she was perfectly fine. In fact, at that moment, Thunder needed taken care of he’d caught a cold and a few days before and has been really tired and drowsy. His cheeks were flushed and his skin…even more pale if that’s possible, he was sweating slightly and could only breathe from his mouth but he was smiling just as bright as ever as he helped omma into the car. “Omma” he said but paused to take short breaths “are you sure you don’t want to stay with us, at least tonight? He asked, still breathless and it was easy to tell that talking too much irritated his throat. “So I can take care of my sick baby?” She poked her lips out as she pinched Thunder cheek. His eyes closed into arches of happiness and he giggled..then coughed. “No why would you take care of me, *cough* I’m fine. I want *cough* to make sure you’re *cough* okay.” I looked into the rearview mirror as I came to a stop at a red light. He was practically purple no way I was going to let him do anything. I didn’t say much though, this was a family moment of course and I didn’t want to make my presence too over baring.

                She his cheek and his rolled into the like a kitten would. He was such an adorable mama’s boy. I liked that, we had that in common. “Don’t worry about me, maybe I’ll find a nice boyfriend to take care of me.” His eyes widened at her words, like teary puppy dog eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was protective of his omma or because he was sick. “Maybe a nice, y catch like the one you found.” “WHA-“ Thunder burst into violent coughs. Though we assumed she knew, we’ve never said that we were together. Nothing gets past omma anyway. “Sweetheart, I’m getting older but I’m still hot. I can still get out there and reel in someone nice and handsome. Oooh maybe an actor with nice toned honey abs.” She bit her lip. I felt my stomach cringing as I drove. “Actually omma I am feeling really sick stay with us and take care of me.” He said as he laid his head on her lap and she his smooth black hair. She just giggled. “I know omma hasn’t been able to take care of her sweet son a day in her life but I think someone else is this car is more suited and fully devoted to taking care of you this time. You know omma will be okay right?” He just nodded and she wiped sweat from his forehead before kissing it. “and I love you very much, so don’t worry so much.” We pulled up in front of her new apartment building and helped take the few bags she had out of the trunk.” “Now Joonie take care of my Doongie for me. He might give you a hard time with the medicine but by all means force him to take it. He’s been stubborn since birth.” She said closing the trunk.

                I reached for the bags on the sidewalk but she slapped my hand away. It hurt as my hand stung and turned pale pink. “I have it you two. Doongie give omma a kiss and stay in the car it’s too cold for you to be out of the car.” She leaned towards the lowered window where the gloomy puppy pecked her cheek then rolled it back up to contain the heat inside. He drew a heart in the fog on the window and waved sadly to his mommy. But she just smiled. “Isn’t he adorable? The longer I stay the worse he’ll get better get him home and get something warm in him…like food I mean” she added before laughing and suddenly I felt myself wanted to run back into the car and speed off from the embarrassment she was causing me. “Really let me help you with your bags.” “No really sweetheart I have it.” He reached and kissed my cheek then scurried off towards the front of the building. It opened right as she reached it and a handsome man stepped out. She bowed to him and him to her. She smiled and fixed her hair and they seemed to be laughing about something, she initiated small talk very quickly. I could imagine…she hasn’t talk to a man…or anyone other than Doongie and I, and nurses and doctors at the hospital for quite a while. She’d be okay. She set down one of her bags to shake his hand and he picked up the bag and motion inside. They both went in after a brief moment. ….That was fast. And Thunder didn’t take to well to it. “OMMAAA” He yelled in a raspy voice as he hit the window. His breath fogged against it. I decided to tease bit “I wonder if he has honey abs” “Noooo!” He screeched in that rooster type way that only he can. I pulled the sidewalk, giggled lowly to myself. “I’m only kidding. I’m sure he’s just being hospitable so calm down and put your seatbelt on.”

                Thunder poked his lip out for a moment and I had to take a picture. “Yah Put that lip back in.” He only pushed it out more for a more exaggerated puppy dog pout look. He was incredibly childish when he wasn’t feeling well…more than usual. And he was really cute…more than usual. It’s almost unbearable. I stopped at the grocery store really quickly to gather ingredients for a soup/stew thing and more tea. I promised he could have a little ice cream later IF he took his medicine and IF he seemed a little better afterwards. It would ease the pain in his throat a bit and numb it but he was just too sick to risk it. “Just slip me medicine like you do.” I slammed on the breaks when he said that my heart was beating out of my chest. “How” “Joonie I know what medicine tastes like mixed with drinks and food. How could you miss that disgusting taste. But it’s not so bad, I’m used to it. Omma use to do it all the time. It’s even better that you don’t tell me so I’m not expected it. I’m not upset.” He leaned his head against the cold window. “Thank you for caring so much.” I really just wanted to give him anything and everything in the world to make him feel better. I hadn’t given him his medicine for his condition in a while and that was probably making him feel even more drowsy. When we reached home I asked him to stay in the car while I took the groceries upstairs then I would help him into the house.

                It was so stupid. I was being so stupid why didn’t I take him into the house first, so he could change clothes and warm up then I could bring the food inside and start cooking dinner for him. I don’t know why I wasn’t thinking clearly. It was...so stupid. It was barely the beginning of winter yet the whole parking lot was iced over and slippery so I really didn’t want him getting out of the car alone with in his current state. I tried to get upstairs and back as soon as possible but the elevator took forever and the stairs to the next floor took even longer and by the time I made it back he was exited the backseat of the car and I yelled to him to stay where he was. I saw just out slow he was moving and I was scared that he would- Fall. And he didn’t I just couldn’t get to him fast enough without falling myself and I couldn’t catch him. It was so stupid… His eyes were closed. It was so cold outside, he was so tired, and sick and he hit his head. I just cradled his head in my lap and cried while I waited. I called omma right after…

                I carried him inside. I was so weak from fear and anxiety and worry and everything else. He opened his eyes a few hours later. The doctor said he would be fine...and left… so why did he say

“Thunder I’m so glad you opened your eyes.” I cried to him. Omma sprang to him and sobbed that she should have stayed she should have come and taken care of him. That she has never done right by her only son…he only reacted with a stone face and cold eyes. He sat up and pulled away from her and looked at me. “Joonie hyung, who is this woman? And why is she so sad?”

……….It was so stupid. This is all my fault.

Even in that moment it seemed like he only had partial amnesia from the fall. But why could he only remember me and not his own mother? “Che-cheondoong you know who I am?” He nodded “But not who she is?” He looked at her, as she sobbed harder when her eyes met his cold, emotionless ones and he shook his head. “Cheondoong who I am?” I asked. “You’re Joonie hyung, you’re that weird guy from the park the one that wants to video tape me. Hey where am I?” He asked looking around quickly, snapping his neck back and forth become more and more frantic. “Thunder calm down please.” Omma pleaded pulling his hand into hers. But he snatched it back and stood up. “Who is this woman?” He screamed and I put my hands up to ward him from panicking. “Thunder please calm down. Don’t you remember that I love you?” “You’re sick.” He stabbed and moved away from the couch….he was moving so fast, he was too worked up and he...fainted. It was so stupid…how I not catch him again.

                We got him to wake up really quickly only this time…all of his memories were completely gone. “Thunder do you know who I am?” I asked then omma. “No” He said innocently. “You look like nice people, is Thunder my name? That’s strange.” He looked back over at omma. “Why are you crying? Did something happen? Did I hurt you?”

Thunder…I am so sorry.

I'm sorry for this ~ as usaul

what's even more odd is that I was supposed to be studying all weekend for my pyschology midterm, math test, and read for english and I was FINALLY about to do it and ...this happened... BUT I'M HAPPY ABOUT IT... not so much the chapter....but the fact that I wrote n.n and now this gives me another route so I can have more chapppters because as I saaaid (I think) I already wrote the last chapter but It's not ...like together so maybe it'll be completely different now :3

ANYWHO I'll try to write again really soon. Next week is going to be...killer.

Saranghae~<3