Joon’s p.o.v

“Um hey maybe you should stop and take a break this can’t be any good for yo-“ I tried to take the broom from him. Thunder had been cleaning the whole apartment for the last two days. He still didn’t remember anything and he usually pushed me away when I attempted to help him with anything. It hurt but I could understand…he doesn’t know me anymore… It still hurt.

Thunder’s p.o.v

They weren’t trying to force me to remember anything. I appreciated that, actually I remembered a lot more than I let on but nothing special just small things. Like my birthday and where I worked before this small incident happened but mostly everything else is fuzzy. I’m pretty sure I live here with Joonie hyung...I can feel it. But It also feels like the woman, the one who hasn’t taken her eyes off of me since I woke, it feels like she doesn’t live here but she’s also comfortable here like she’s been here before. I’m only making guesses because I don’t know anything. I feel cold a lot and uneasy when I’m near them I know they aren’t forcing me but I still feel … pressure when their sad eyes meet me. I want them to stop worrying and I want to see them smile but at the same time I don’t want to be near them until I remember. She hasn’t stopped crying and there is nothing I can do.

"Can you tell me- I mean can you take me somewhere hyung?" He sat up in his bed quickly and looked me. “You want to go somewhere?” I could tell he was shocked that I came to him and that I asked him for something. I just wanted to find out if I would see anything that would jog my memory. Maybe he could lead me to those places. He promised to answer all my questions if it would make me feel better. “This is my fault Doongie I’m sorry.” He said handing me my long black peacoat. I didn’t mind not knowing, it was all going to be a learning experience and when my old memories met with my new ones I was hoping to be a new, better person. For my omma’s sake…and I knew without being told that she was my mother but I couldn’t let her or Joonie hyung know that just yet. We took a train out and I had no idea where we were going the windows were all fogged and I couldn’t hear anything but the wheels against the track. I started to stare at my own lap and tried to think I was forcing myself, was the train familiar? Was the screeching of the wheels familiar? I didn’t get anything.  “Don’t force it” I heard his voice and it startled me. He tapped my shoulder with a white mug and I looked in his direction. He was smiling, it was a sincere smile…he was happy. He handed me a mug of hot chocolate then lounged on the long seat across from me. “I haven’t been on a train in a long time. Not since I was younger.” He looked at me then drank from his mug. “I think it’s best to do when it’s cold so you need a bunch of blankets and hot chocolate and each other to keep warm. The destination seemed unimportant compared to that type of bonding with your family or friends.” I know we got on the train for a reason I know he was going to try to jog my memories somehow but I don’t think this train itself had anything to do with my childhood it had something to do with Joon’s. He was sharing with me. It relaxed me a bit. “Joon you aren’t my brother” He laughed and shook his head. “So we’re friends?” He turned to look at me “Pretty much. You’re my best friend Doongie.”

                I heard more squeaking but it was coming from inside the train car I smelled cinnamon and chocolate and the scent grew stronger as the squeaking got louder and closer to my eardrums then the sound stopped. “Would you boys like a warm snack? I have fresh cinnamon rolls, apple pie and chocolate chips cookies. There’s also some candy down here and chips but nothing’s better on a cold day like this than some warm goodies. I have tea, coffee and hot chocolate too so what will it be?”

She was so pretty but I could hardly pay attention to her, I was practically drowning us all in drool as I stared longingly at the steaming treats in front of me. But..I didn’t have any money : (. “Joonie hyung can I have something?” I don’t know why but I actually felt as if I would cry if he said I couldn’t. He just chuckled and blushed. “Which do you want Doongie?” “I want …maybe the cinnamon rolls but the apple pie looks so delicious and I think I like cookies I can’t-“ “Give he a bit of everything.” He said handing the lady some money. “Would you like more hot chocolate it’s free.” She said. “Can you manage answering that?” Joonie teased me. I just widened my eyes and held up my, now empty, white mug. “Yes please I’ll take some more.” “Where are you two headed?” The woman asked. “To the amusement park just outside of town.” “In this weather? Well have fun boys and stay warm.” She said then moved on to the next passengers.

I had so many sweets my eyes were stars I was so happy and warm though it was still freezing. Hyung was right it was the best feeling ever just being with someone and feeling this warmth. “I swear” he said lying back “you may not remember anything or anyone including yourself but you’re exactly the same person. You haven’t changed a bit.” “And what am I like hyung?” “Adorable” He sat up and leaned forward to wipe icing from my cheek. It embarrassed me I had no idea why he would do something like that. Is that…something that best friends do? “Are you done?” He asked after I started to slow down eating. I just nodded afraid if I opened my mouth I wouldn’t be able to keep all the delicious sweets I ate from escaping. “I’ll throw this away for you then” I hugged myself, it had gotten colder when he left. I waited for Joon to come back. “Are you cold? I can get you a blanket.” He reached into the compartment just over the seats and pulled out a light blue wooly blanket and tossed it into my face. “Yah you were supposed to catch that.” I found myself laughing which I don’t think I’ve done yet. Joon’s eyes were wide when he heard it his eyes became glossy like he was going to cry but he didn’t he just ruffled my hair and sat back on his seat. He rubbed the window to see outside and it nearly fogged back up immediately. “We have about 45 minutes left until we get close you just try and rest.”

                I watched him lean his head back and cover his face with his arms. The blanket was warm like they heated it and yet I still felt cold. “Joonie hyung, can you sit on this side with me?” He moved instantly without question “Are you okay?” I nodded “I just want you near me, I hope that isn’t weird.” “Not as much as you may think.” He said. All I remembered is him covering me in the blanket and I covered him too and lied my head on his shoulder and fell asleep. We’re just friends I think but somehow sleeping on him felt normal.

Flashback:

There was a man sitting across from me. He was thin with broad shoulders he had dark hair and dark eyes and a small beard he was reading a newspaper. A woman, a beautiful young woman was sitting beside him…it was that lady…my omma. Her energy was different she wasn't smiling she wasn't happy. She seemed sick even. Next to me was a girl she was very pretty and looked just like me and on my other side was another girl. …They were my family I could feel it. We were on a train and it was cold, I heard the same cart squeaking and I looked up at the same woman offering us warm treats. The man was very rude to her, he seemed to be in an awful mood that made me stiff like a stone statue. “Can I have something Appa?” His eyes were cold when they me. “No, sit back and be quiet.” My omma began to cough and she didn’t stop for a long time. She was turning red in the face. “You have your parents’ awful genes to thank for your illness. What do you expect to leave me with these three children?” “Stop it.” She pleaded sadly “You conned me into having these kids, why shouldn’t they know that? You’re going to die and don’t expect me to take care of them alone. You better figure something out.” I hated him, more than anything I didn’t know I had the ability to hate anyone but the man in my dreams was disgusting and horrible. I hated him…I wanted him gone. But then, I felt bad. Omma loved him I could see and my sisters…they wanted to find a man to marry that he would approve of. He wasn’t worth it though. I was sore like I had been dancing…he didn’t approve of it. But I love to dance so he didn’t approve of me. It was so cold. I looked out the thinly fogged window. Where were we going? “We’re finally almost to this amusement park.” The man stood up “Let’s get this stupid family vacation over with.”

End of flashback.

“Thunder, Thunder wake up we’ve made it.” I forced my eyes open and looked out the window. …The view...it was the same. I saw the rollercoasters and the Ferris wheel. It was all the same from the dream I had. If It was a dream at all. More like a nightmare. But now I remembered that I only knew my mother for most of my life. I didn’t have any siblings and my mom was sick, really sick, that much was all true as far as I could remember. Things were coming back slowly but surely.

                We got off the train and Joon helped me put my coat back on. I turned back around to thank him but I somehow ended up hugging him and I didn’t know why. I just felt warm around him and he didn’t push me away or question me whenever I asked him for something or did something on impulse. I could tell that we really were good friends.

Heehehe gues whaaat there's more to this ~ I just have to finish it sooo today's a double update daaay :D <3