Definitely still working on this now that I have a bit of time ~ I hope this is okay for now but I'll continue updating throughout this week I'm not sure when. I'm so sorry again guys x.x I'm also trying to edit...the thing I always fail to do.

Joon’s p.o.v

“Doongie you’re spilling flour everywhere!” He looked at me and his cheeks were powdered with flour and the tip of his nose. Ahhh this kid. He inhaled and his face scrunched up. “Ahh” “Doongie no.”“AhH CHOO!” In just second the both of us and the entire dorm kitchen was coated in white powder. He sniffed and rubbed his nose. “Bless you Doongie” I kneeled down to where he was behind the kitchen counter “You feeling okay?” He nodded slowly knowing instantly that I’m constantly worried about his health. “I’m fine but why are we baking a cake again?” I just smiled and brushed his left cheek with my thumb. “Because we’re celebrating silly, it’s already been a year hasn’t it?” He looked up like he was deep in thought. “Tomorrow?” I nodded. We’ve already spent a year together I couldn’t imagine a better year with a better person. I’m so happy he’s happy and healthy at least…I think he’s happy.

                While I was thinking he disappeared to the kitchen closet and return with a broom and dust pan. “Why didn’t you bring both of the brooms from the closet so I could clean too?” He ignored me, he obviously ignored me. He wasn’t smiling anymore it was like he had gone into deep thought after I mentioned our anniversary. Thunder wasn’t even looking me in the eyes anymore and I was worried that either I said or did something wrong or he wasn’t feeling well. “Thunder.” He still didn’t answer he just kept sweeping. “Sang hyun”….”would you look at me please or at least help you clean” I reached for the broom in his hands and pulled and his eyes shot up. “You’ve already done more than enough for me so please don’t- just let me clean this up it’s my mess after all.” When he was done speaking he went back to looking down at the floor. He feels guilty, he still feels that way, like I pity him, like I have to take care of him, like he never does anything for himself or me or us but I don’t feel that way at all. He’s not in debt to me. “Cheondoong-ah don’t you realize by now that you with everything that I am? Please tell me that you know that. I’m here in front of you, next to you, we’re equal please stop acting like I’m above you.” I had to leave the room I had to breathe so I wouldn’t yell but it’s so frustrating dealing with someone who doesn’t understand that…I only want to take care of him because I care.

Thunder p.o.v

I heard his bedroom door slam and then swing open again. He had his bag over his shoulder and his eyebrows furrowed as he reached for the front door. “Where are you going?” “Class Thunder I’m going to class. Where does it look like I’m going? It’s already after 2, you have to get to class soon too, just leave all of that there I’ll clean it when I get back.”  The door slammed behind him and that was it. I wasn’t even sure why he was so angry suddenly but now I was even more upset. I can’t have him upset at me the day before our anniversary. I plopped down on the couch and covered my eyes with my arms. This is not the day I was expecting I didn’t want to go to class anymore my mind would be too focused on Joon and why he’s angry with me, I’m be distracted by thoughts of our last year together and how fast everything has progressed. He saved me, he saved my omma, he took me in and took care of me, took care of us and let me experience so many new things and all the way I know it wasn’t easy for him so how could he even look at me and think that I’m someone he loves when I’ve taken so much from him and caused him so much grief. I’m not worth it… It’d be better if I stopped causing him problems and just break up tomorrow he has so much to lose by being with me. I think that this should end…

He can’t even bring himself to tell other people about our relationship. He’s shamed of me because I’m a guy and because I come from a poor, dysfunctional background. I’ll only bring him down I don’t want people looking down on Joonie hyung because he’s amazing even if he is kind of a jerk sometimes. …That thought, and the image of his scowl in my head made me laugh even though I was really crying. I don’t want this to end. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. I still decided to skip class so I might as well have cleaned the kitchen so Joon wouldn’t have to later. He works too hard as it is. While I was at it I put on some music and went on to clean the entire dorm. Since we lived on campus now the space is a bit tight and we do share a bathroom with everyone on the same floor as us but I like it here. I like going to class and eating dinner with Joon after class and studying at the library and going to school events. I like working at the campus bookstore now, Joonie hyung brought me all this happiness I have to repay him somehow…

Joon’s p.o.v

(Two classes later).

“That’ll be $8.67.” I stopped by the café on my way home it was freezing out. I know Doongie doesn’t know how to turn the heat on in our dorm so he must be freezing. I may have been upset when I left but I never stopped thinking about him I don’t even think I got the chance to take any notes in class because of it. I picked up something for him, other than dinner and some hot chocolate with the giant marshmallows in it. Hopefully he’ll be back from class when I get home. I just want to see him face. I practically ran home but when I got inside he was in the living room. He had pulled a chair up to the big sliding glass window and had all the curtains pulled back. He sniffled and I crept closer. “Doongie-ah are you okay?” “I just don’t want you to be mad at me.” Aish. “Yah don’t cry about that I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier.” “It’s snowing hyung, did you see It while you were out there? Eh I guess you couldn’t have since it just started but it’s really snowing.” He was wrapped in a blanket and his hair looked slightly damp, from what I could see his skin had gotten paler, if that’s possible. I put the things I bought on the kitchen counter and rushed over to him, his back was still to me and I kneeled down beside the chair he was in and watched it snow from our third floor window. “Joonie hyung I-“ I stood to my feet and pulled his face to mine. It felt like our lips hadn’t met in decades and I missed the feeling. He cheeks were so soft in my hands.  “Come to bed it’s late.” I said after breaking the kiss. “Have you eaten?” he shook his head at me. “Please don’t cry without me anymore, I always want to console you when you’re sad even if I’m the one that caused you to feel that way in the first place.” He eyes were wide and he blinked slowly at me but didn’t say a word. “Come to bed Sang hyun it’s freezing out here and your hair is wet you’ll catch a cold. Weird that you showered without me that must mean you skipped class today?” He nodded. “Yah! Waaae?” “I-I couldn’t stop thinking about you so I didn’t see the point in going.” This brat, he’s too cute for words. I really love him, maybe we could skip our later class tomorrow just this once so we can spend the rest of our anniversary together.

                I pulled back the covers for him and he got into bed. I got in after him and secured one of my hands on his forehead. “How are you feeling? Hmm there’s no fever.” “I’m okay but you’re being really affectionate right now, did something happen?” He asked laying his head on my arm. “Does something have to happen for me to want to cuddle with my own boyfriend?” That word boyfriend have I ever even used it before? My phone rang, Thunder screeched because it was in my pocket and the vibration startled him a bit. I reached down and checked the caller i.d …what could my parents possibly want?

“Yo-yoboseyo? Omma.” “Joonie how are you dearest son?” “I’m fine ma is everything okay?””Yes everything is wonderful your father and I [she starts to go on for ages].” Thunder shifted in bed like he was worried about my parents finding out about us even though we were in bed together half way across town from them. I made sure to pull his hips back towards mine. “Stay right here.” I whispered in a low tone. “What was that Joonie?” “Oh nothing Thunder is just here” Thunder’s body stiffened at the thought that I’d even mention him I smirked and thought this would be a good time to ease his pain. I put the phone on speaker. “I’m trying to cuddle with him but he keeps wiggling away.” There was a long silence.  “Omma?”  “Who’s that? Thunder? Oh that’s good sweetie I’m sure it’s freezing out so you too really need to stay warm.” I let out a light giggle. “I know Thunder is one of the warmest people I’ve ever held, I think he’s my favorite omma.” There was another silence. “Are you seeing that boy or something yet Changsun? It was obvious from the first time your father and I met him that you were in love with him so you better make some type of commitment to him soon don’t want to let that one get away.” At this point even I was a bit in shock but I think Thunder had stopped breathing completely.  I slapped his back to bring him back to life. “Ahah omma you’re too smart I’ll be sure to try to get him but I don’t know if he likes me that way.” Now I was just teasing him. “Oh non sense son you’re perfect in your own little way. You’ll be good together. I’ll leave you two to your getting warm. I hope to see you both very soon.” “Okay omma, bye bye.” “Bye.” “I love you!” “I love you too son I’m glad you’re finally happy and admitting that someone else makes you happy too.” “Me too.” The call ended and still Thunder couldn’t move. I only smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his back and locked them together over his waist. I rested my face on his back. “I love you, you believe right? I don’t care who knows it. You’re mine no matter what anyone else says.” I went to touch his chest to feel for his heart and it was beating rapidly.

                “Y-you didn’t have to do that hyung.” “Yes.I.did.” I squeezed him tighter in my arms I was just full of love today. “I brought you food I know you have eaten and that hot chocolate with the giant marshmallows that you love so much.” “How you do know I haven’t eaten?” Just then his stomach unleashed a violent growl. “Ahaha see because I know you. Now let’s go eat and we can cuddle more later.” I leaned to kiss his neck before letting him go.