Chapter 1 Have Both

Disordered Feelings

Yunhee cringed as she grasped her stomach fat. This wouldn't do, why couldn't she be as pretty as Soyeon?! Soyeon had everything. The perfect skinny body, the prettiest face she has ever seen, and she was perfectly happy with her life. Why couldn't I be like that? Yunhee thought. She took one last look in the mirror, giving death glares to all the parts she thought were fat. She hated waking up everyday knowing she was fat, ugly, and nothing could help it. Not even with her binging and dieting. Nothing worked.

Yunhee walked to school with a sullen face. Soyeon was going to point out her weekend weight gain for sure.

Yunhee mustered up a smile and approached her groups of friends. Hoping that no one would notice that she gained a whole pound. "Hey guys!" she waved.

Soyeon scrunched her nose in disgust. "You gained weight didn't you?!" In reality she had no idea if the people she pointed out had gained weight at all. She just enjoyed teasing them for being bigger then she was.

Yunhee looked to the ground. "Just a little..."

Right as Soyeon was going to scold her friend she noticed a some new figures walking into school. "Who are they?" she pointed her perfect finger and nail at two new male students. 

Her group of friends turned to look. "Are they new?" one of them squeaked.

Soyeon smirked and her lips. New students, especially male, were sort of a little adventure to her. Yunhee saw this as a way to escape. She slipped away from her group of friends and went straight to her classroom, all while in her stomach, trying to make it as flat as she could.

Sliding into her chair Yunhee let out a large sigh. No one could see her fat now that the desk was covering it up. She looked down at her wrists, scratching and scraping at them nervously. She had to find a way to lose more weight and impress Soyeon. Soyeon who shone so brightly, everyone loved her... She was perfect...

"They're turning red," a voice boomed, interrupting her thoughts about Soyeon.

Yunhee looked down at her wrists and broke her nails away from it abruptly. "Oh, thanks..." she looked away in embarrassment. Not noticing that the new boy was now her desk neighbor. 

As class started, the teacher introduced the new students, that's when Yunhee realized that the boy sitting next to her was new, that his name was Kai, and he was cousins with the other new boy, who was conveniently sat by Soyeon.  

Yunhee studied his side profile. He was good looking, tanned skin, dark eyes, and side swept hair. She wagered out the pros and cons of him sitting there. Yunhee decided that him sitting there was better, it wasn't like he was going to date her, Soyeon would probably pair him up with a skinnier friend, therefore she didn't need to worry too much on her appearance. Having him sitting next to her, blocked anyone from seeing her side, the only exposure of her fat since they were situated next to the wall. 

As class finished Yunhee realized she learn anything, she was too caught up in worrying about her weight loss, and how hungry she was. Even if she couldn't eat. 

After another two long periods she walked herself to lunch. Soyeon spotted her and waved her over; as soon as she reached the table Soyeon spoke up. "You're not eating are you? I hope not, it wouldn't do you any justice,"

To be completely honest, Yunhee was starving. She just nodded and sat down, wanting to please Soyeon who was already scanning the cafeteria for Kris and his cousin, Kai. Once she spotted them, Soyeon broke out in a huge wave and called them over. "Kris! Kai!! Over here!" 

They approached the table and Yunhee scooted over to make more room. Kai plopped down right next to we and noticed she had no food in front of her. "Aren't you eating?" 

Soyeon butted in. "Oh she doesn't eat! She's on a diet! Trying to lose major weight!" Yunhee just nodded, letting Soyeon take the spotlight. 

Kai scoffed inwardly. Soyeon already came off as annoying to him. But she seemed well off in the school so he held his tongue. He turned to look at Yunhee who was clutching her stomach and crouching over a notebook. She was definitely not fat, not to Kai. She looked like she could break in half to him, actually. 

Kris noticed his cousin's staring and kicked him in the foot. Kai flinched and glared at Kris. Kris leaned in and whispered. "Stop staring, she'll notice," Kai blushed. He didn't realized he was staring. 

For the remainder if the lunch Soyeon chatted their ears off and killed their eyes, by batting her eyelashes so much. As the bell rung, Kai forever thanked the gods. He was tired of her failed cuteness. He watched as Yunhee quickly got up and rushed to the bathroom. 

Kris seemed to have read his next thought. "Where's she off to?"

Soyeon shrugged. "Who knows, she's always been a bit strange,"

Strange is better then plastic and perfect. Kai got up swiftly and just left to hunt down his next classroom. Soyeon was a but hurt by his action. He didn't even say goodbye. "Where's he going?" 

Kris decided it was a good time to use her words against her. "Who knows, he's always been a little strange," smirking he got up and went to find Kai. 

Soyeon clenched her fists, she wasn't used to people blowing her off like that and she wasn't sure she liked it. 

Kris caught up to Kai, getting rid of his smirk and returning to his pokerface. "Who's your next class?"

Kai jabbed his index finger at the door to his right. "Right here, history,"

Kris nodded and patted him on the back. "Have fun!"

Kai smirked and entered the classroom. He hated new schools, all the stares and murmurs. "Where do I sit?" he questioned the teacher. 

She looked at him, a bit awe struck by his straight forwardness. "You can sit in the back, next to Yunhee," 

Yunhee raised her head at the sound of her name. She was going to be sitting next to him again? Kai sat down, a little too close for Yunhee's liking so she scooted her chair close to the edge. "Why? Scared of me? Or am I gross?" Kai asked.

She shook her head rapidly. "No! It's just, I like personally space..."

Kai just shrugged and turned his attention to the screen. 

Yunhee took this chance to study his features more. He was actually really handsome. The perfect bad boy image. Wait a minute... She thought to herself. Bad boy image? That sounds so ridiculous. He was just a new kid, with a good looking face that everyone loved.

She looked around their table. Sure enough girls were staring, they were basically drooling over him. She could see why. Although she internally wondered if he thought any of them were good looking. Probably Soyeon, must guys thought she was attractive. 

For the rest of the period Yunhee's attention turned from paying attention to the actual lecture to glancing at Kai's face. Several times she caught him yawning and getting sleepy. It was sort of cute. In a weird new kid kind of way. Yunhee sighed. Now was not the time to fancy guys. Now was the time to make more progress with her weight loss. 

Kai felt that there were eyes on him. Girls were in fact drooling over him an guys were sending him daggers. He scoffed, if they really knew about him, would they really care? Would they still find him handsome? Probably not. 

Walking home, Yunhee encountered a puddle. She peered into it and squeezed her cheeks. She sighed, nothing she did was enough. She was still fat as an elephant. No actually that would be an insult to the elephant. Yunhee quickly in her breath, holding in the tears that were threatening to spill.

Never in her life has she felt so ugly ad useless. This whole school year, all she thought about was how ugly she was. 
 
Walking into her house, her mother greeted her with freshly baked cookies. "Want some cookie, my little baby flower?" her mom smiled
 
 
Yunhee looked horrified. "Are you trying to make me more fat?! How dare you make these?! I don't want any and don't call me that!" Yunhee shrieked at her mom. She stomped upstairs, leaving her mom stunned at her daughter's action. 
 
 
Yunhee plopped onto her bed and let her tears drop. She wanted to eat so badly, to devour those warm cookies, to eat anything. But, she couldn't. She couldn't allow herself to eat that many useless calories. She sighed opening her bags and digging out her homework. This should distract her for the mean time. 
 
"Yunhee!! Dinner time!" her mom called. 
 
"I'm not hungry!" Yunhee called from her bedroom. 
 
Her mom sighed. "Honey, don't you think this is wrong of Yunhee?
 
Yunhee's dad looked at his concerned wife. "It's ok. She's old enough to know to eat when she's hungry, she's probably still studying up there," he reassured his wife.
 
Yunhee's mom just nodded. Not wanting to cause anymore fuss but she was still worried over her little girl's health. 
 

The next morning, Yunhee snuck out of her own home, before her mom could force her to eat breakfast. Arriving at school, she walked closer to her group of friends trying to pick out what they were saying. "He's so good looking!" one girl exclaimed.

They were probably talking about Kai and Kris. Soyeon flipped her hair off her shoulder. "I call them," 

Eunbi, one of Soyeon's closest friends, gasped. "You can't have them both!" she pointed out.

Soyeon smacked her lips together. "Watch me," she smirked.

Yunhee thought it was a good to break up a coming fight by announcing her presence. "Hey guys."

Soyeon just ignored her while the other girls half heatedly waved. "There's Kris and Kai!" 

Soyeon's eyes snapped at the school entrance and grinned. "Kris! Kai!" she called out.

Yunhee ducked her head and left. She didn't really want to witness Soyeon flirting, it disturbed her a bit. Entering the classroom she thought of what she could eat today. Starving herself for the whole day yesterday was a good start to losing extra pounds. Maybe she could eat some crackers today. Absentmindedly she started to scratch at her wrists again, planning out her week of meals. 

"You're doing it again," Kai sat down next to her.

Yunhee looked down at her wrists. "Oh..." they were starting to become really red and swell with pain. "I didn't even notice until now," 

Kai just ignored her. She's so strange. Not eating when she already looks sickly skinny and scratching her wrists? If I didn't tell her, how far would she go? Until her wrists bleed? Kai shook off the thought. He didn't care or have to care.


 
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Maria_Maraki
#1
Chapter 22: Was nice story!
claribelmiranda #2
Chapter 22: Awwww....great story! Kai didn't give up on her, i like that kind of guy, i wish there's still guy like that, anyways done reading this one ^^
SourArcher1030 #3
Chapter 21: Crying right now TT.TT

THIS STORY IS SO GOOD. and no it's not a fail or horrendous. On the contrary, it's quite the opposite. Its a refreshing take on kai stories which I appreciste Thanks for the story so far and please update soon :)
anobonano
#4
Chapter 21: FINAAALLLLYYYYYYYYYYY they're together xlahsiwnzjskmd and phew!!! Thank God Dahyun didn't do anything like sabotage her life or smth omg she already has a lot on her plate. ;wwwwww;
Kpoppersunghee
#5
Chapter 20: Awwwwww good luck kai!!!
scarlettwolf
#6
Chapter 20: Thanks for updating! I'm dying as I wait for the next chapter! I love the idea of this plot, it really connects with me on a personal level I guess. Love you!
anobonano
#7
Chapter 19: .....hwat.........oh no......oh heeeeck no. ):< Jongin, you flipping butthead why would you omg....lol I am so angry. Agh....can Dahyun move out the picture pls she's ruining everythingggggg amcaldiwlskwldnfkdm


Stupid Jongin. u_____u

Anyways, update soon!! >___<