“Please don’t be mad at me Channie?” Yongguk called out across the apartment when I went to the living room the next morning. I had fallen asleep before I had worked up the courage to go see him again and when I found that he hadn’t come to bed I assumed he was still angry with me. “I’m sorry for speaking to you that way. I love you.”

“I’m sorry for being annoying.” I mumbled, not looking at him as I handed him a glass of water. I noticed that he hadn’t taken his medication but I didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to take it if he didn’t want to. I knew what it was like being forced to take things I didn’t want to take, I wasn’t going to do the same thing to him. “I shouldn’t have nagged.”

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you. You’ve never done that to me and you’ve been cooped up like this for a year.” He reached out for me with his good hand but I pulled away from him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I nodded my head but didn’t get closer to him again. “Are you feeling alright?” I couldn’t keep myself from being worried about him. It was my fault after all.

He grabbed at me again and this time I let him take my hand. I had to make sure Jaehwa saw that I was still taking care of Yongguk. I couldn’t let him get hurt again. He deserved more than that. “It hurts. I tried to come bed but I couldn’t.”

When I looked up at him he looked ashamed of himself. He had always hated feeling helpless, ever since we were kids. I remembered him telling a teacher that he didn’t care what he did when he grew up as long as he could still take care of me. He’d gotten teased for that but that blew over when he punched a kid in the face for threatening me. “I would have come to get you, Gukkie.”

“I called you but you must have fallen asleep. Did you take your medicines?”

“I didn’t take the sleep poisons but I took the other ones.” I didn’t want to take the poison but Yongguk was already hurting. He didn’t need to deal with me not doing what I was meant to do. It was best if I behaved, even though I didn’t want to take the poisons. “The anti-psychotics and the Lithium.”   He knew exactly what poisons I was taking. There was no reason for me to tell him what I had taken.

“That’s good Baby.” His grip on my hand tightened and he smiled at me. “Thank you. I’ll… I’ll take the Vicodin.” He didn’t sound happy about it, but I was. It was obvious that he was in pain; I didn’t want him to hurt. “You took yours, I can take mine too.”

I tried not to smile as I handed him the pills from the table. He put the medication in his mouth and allowed me to pour water in his mouth so he could take them. He made a displeased face as the pills when down his throat, apparently he didn’t like taking pills anymore than I did. At least his were actually medicines.

“Do me a favour, Baby?”

“Anything.” I put my head down on his stomach and smiled up at him. “As long as it’s legal and not dangerous is any way.”

He rolled his eyes. “Never get shot. It .” His good hand moved to my head and he twisted my hair between his fingers. “I like this hair style.” He mumbled, keeping his eyes locked on mine. “It’s good for you.”

“I was thinking about getting it cut off again. It’s easier when it’s short.” I had been too busy to go get my hair cut and it had started to get long. I knew Yongguk preferred it that way but I usually kept it short. It was easier to take care of when I kept it cropped. I had kept it long until my diagnosis. Yongguk had been incredibly disappointed when I had come home from the mental hospital with short hair, he never said anything to me directly but I heard him mention it to his mother. He said he was happy I was okay but that he missed my hair.

“If you want to, you can.” He continued messing with my hair and I decided that I would keep it long for him. It wasn’t as though I did so much during the day that I couldn’t spend a few extra minutes on my hair to make Yongguk happy. I wanted him to continue being attracted to me and he liked my hair longer. “You’re gorgeous either way. You’re gorgeous always. Even when you decide you really want blonde hair.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. Blonde had been a horrible mistake that I had decided would be a fantastic surprise for Yongguk. I knew that he’d gone through a phase in which he really liked American girls so I thought it would be a good idea to look like one of them. It wasn’t. “Anything for you.”

He chuckled softly and shook his head. “You’re amazing Channie.”

“You’re a sap.” I moved his hand off of my head and stood up. “I’m taking you to bed so you can rest.” I did my best to get him on his feet with as little pain as possible. He grimaced when I moved him but he tried to hide it from me me. He was always like that.

“I’ll only go if you lie down with me.” He pouted when I looked up at him. I rolled my eyes but agreed to his demands. There wasn’t anything else I could do anyway. It would be nice to spend time with Yongguk, even if the only reason it was happening was because of my disobedience. “I love you Himchannie~”

“I love you too Gukkie.” It wasn’t easy helping him get to bed. I wondered if it was just as difficult for him when he had to move my drugged self around the apartment – I knew there had been plenty of occasions he had done that. I put him into our bed and pulled the blankets up over him before crawling into my spot at his side. “I’m glad we can spend some time together, even if it’s under unfortunate circumstances.”

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Yay~ yongguk took the pain pillers in this one and they were all in love and stuff. 
I'm late for stuff so I can't talk long, but I hope you liked it~ and I want to do something speshur for when I get 300 subscribers, so leave sugguestions for that maybe?
Leave me comments and all that jazz cos it makes me happy so I can write more and more and more~