I hated Yongguk’s job. He was gone all the time and I’d ended up having to meet the lady next door to ask for food. She probably thought I was some sort of psychopath because she would come to my door and hand me dinner before running off into her own apartment.

Much to my dismay Yongguk had hired one of the officers to come by several times a day to make sure I took my medication. I didn’t understand why they didn’t bring me food too or why Yongguk couldn’t just do it but I hated it. I was starting to think it was just an excuse for Yongguk to not come home. It was easy for Chunghee to convince me that Yongguk was cheating.

“You should confront him Channie.” Chunghee crossed his legs and leaned back on the couch as he watched me do situps. I was far more willing to work out after I’d realised how likely it was that Yongguk was sleeping with someone from work. His lover was probably sane so that meant my body had to be twice as nice. “It’s not fair for him to leave you alone like this all the time. He could at least bring you dinner.”

“He’s busy…” I told him. He knew that as well as I did. He had been the one to make me realise this fact.  “He doesn’t want me any more Hyung… Yongguk doesn’t want me any more…” I rolled over onto my stomach, deciding to forgo my work out and bawl my eyes out instead. I wasn’t at all emotionally prepared for what was going on.

I was in the middle of breaking down when I heard the front door open. “It’s the perfect time to confront him Himchan.” Chunghee bent down next to me and pulled me into a seated position. “Yell at him for treating you like garbage. He doesn’t just get to play you Channie.”

“I don’t want to fight… I don’t like fighting…” I whined, pushing Chunghee away from me. “Tell me what else to do?”

“Channie? Who are you talking to?” Yongguk crouched down next to me and pulled me away from Chunghee. “Why are you fighting someone?” He reached up to wipe my tears but I pulled away from him. He didn’t deserve to touch me. He was touching other people the way he refused to touch me. “Baby?”

“Why would you do that to me Yongguk?” I shrieked at him. It didn’t sound like my voice at all but I didn’t let that bother me. I was more worried about the fact that I was fighting with Yongguk. He didn’t seem to realise it yet though. He probably just thought I was being crazy. “Who are you getting it from?”

“Baby? Baby, what are you talking about?” He touched my jaw, only earning himself a kick to the chest. My best efforts didn’t seem to have any effect on him. “What am I getting from someone?”

I slapped at him when he tried to touch me again. He knew exactly what he had done wrong and he was trying to flirt his way out of it. “I hate you!” I shoved at him again and threw the nearest solid thing – it turned out to be a cup – at my boyfriend. I missed but the glass shattered on the wall behind us, showing us with tiny shards of glass. “I hate you! I’m not stupid Yongguk!”

He stared at me for a couple of seconds without moving before he tried to grab me again. “I know you’re not Channie. Tell me what’s going on? You’re scaring me Baby.”

“It was that detective, wasn’t it! That’s why he hates me so much! I’m in his way!” I kicked at him again before looking up to Chunghee for help. He was stronger than me. He just shrugged his shoulders and told me he’d always known that detective was trouble. “I should have known… Chunghee told me you were bad… I should have listened to Chunghee...”

Yongguk grabbed onto my shoulders and shook me roughly. “Chunghee isn’t real Himchan. Chunghee isn’t real! Now tell me what you’re talking about?” His voice didn’t match his actions. He spoke so calmly compared to the way he was shaking me. “ Why does Chunghee tell you that I’m bad?”

“You’re sleeping with someone else! What else would it be? What else have you done?”

“You think I’m cheating Channie?” He dropped his arms and moved away from me. He cut his hand on the glass but it didn’t even seem to faze him. He moved away from me and it looked like I had broken his heart. It was as though he wasn’t the one who had done wrong. “Why would you think I’m cheating?”

“Because you don’t love me anymore since I’m crazy…” I bit my lip and looked up to Chunghee again. He shrugged his shoulders at me again. He was useless. “That’s why you make someone bring me the poisons. You don’t come home. That’s what happens when you cheat… you don’t love me anymore…”

Yongguk cursed under his breath as he crawled back to me. He threw his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. “Goddamnit Kim Himchan.” He held me tightly, probably getting blood all over my clothing. “Goddamnit…” He buried his face in my shoulder and after a while I felt my shirt getting damp. He fisted my shirt, holding onto me as though he was afraid I would disappear like one of my hallucinations. “Kim Himchan… I ing love you… I’m not going anywhere. I would never, ever cheat on you…”

“You don’t come home anymore thought Yongguk… that’s what happens when you stop loving people…” I wrapped my arms around him and held him just as tightly as he was holding onto me. I didn’t want him to stop loving me. He was everything to me. “I don’t want you to not love me… please start loving me again?”

He looked up at me, tears still streaming down his face. “You’re so stupid Himchan… I never stopped… I’m never going to stop. Not ever.” He kissed my forehead and pulled me so I had no choice but to put my head on his shoulder. He ran his clean hand through my hair. “I am so sorry that I made you think I didn’t love you anymore Channie… I love you. I promise, okay? I’ll figure out how to be home more.”

I nodded my head but before we could continue the conversation I heard him snoring and in the next second I had dozed off as well. 

_____

So here's this chapter, Himchan obviously isn't doing well. One of his hallucinations convinced him that Yongguk is cheating so he freaked out. Fortunately Yongguk was able to calm him down.
ALSO IMPORTANT: Some people seem to not understand what's going on in this story. Himchan is schizophrenic. That means he has schizophrenia which is an incurable mental disorder. He can't "get better" or "recover" and nothing either him or Yongguk did caused it. I was going to explain it to you all but I need to leave in five minutes for school so I'll just do it really fast. It manifests around young adulthood and unfortunately there is no cure. Schizophrenics often have dillusions, auditory hallucinations, and are extremely paranoid. The disease can only be regulated. Some people can regulate it without medication but many need anti-psychotics. Unfortunately these drugs have many side effects and many people say they feel like they aren't even living when they're on them. A large percentage of homeless people have schizophrenia because they are abandoned by their familes and loved ones and are left to fend for themselves. 

That is all I have to say about that. I need to go to school now. 
Leave me nice comments and such :D