The end of the year came before I knew it. Time had gone by so fast; Yongguk had graduated, and gotten an offer from an entertainment company.

“Jeo Jeo, I have to tell you something.” Yongguk said, as he pulled me closer into his arms. We were sitting on the couch in his family room together.

“What?” I asked confused. He seemed to have mixed feelings about something.

“I got an offer.” He said.

“For what?”

“To become a trainee, for TS Entertainment.”

“Wait what? A trainee, like one of those people who eventually become famous?”

“Yeah…” He said, but sounded sad.

“What why are you sad? This is great! Take the offer!” I said excited for him.

He sighed, “I know.”

“Then what’s the problem?” I asked him confused.

He looked into my eyes and kissed me on the lips, after a few seconds he deepened the kiss, pulling me closer to him. He pulled his head away slightly and said, “Because I wont get to see you.”

I was confused, “Why wouldn’t you be able to see me?” I asked, and started to feel uneasy.

“Because I would be busy training, and doing everything the company has planned for me. And they also said that if I have a girlfriend it would be a problem.” He explained, and his eyes were sad.

“What does you having a girlfriend got anything to do with it? Why would I be a problem?”

He sighed again looking away from me, “Because if I become an Idol, they said that it would put you in possible danger, as well as stalking. You know how fans are.”

“Yeah, and they are crazy…”

“Exactly,” He said, “I don’t think I’m going to take it.”

“You can’t do that!” I exclaimed, “This is your big chance, I know this is what you always wanted to do. You can’t pass it up because of me!” I said, but I was sad. I knew that if he did take the offer we would have to break up, and I didn’t want that. I felt a pain in my chest thinking about it.

“I can’t do that to you. You are more important to me than any entertainment company. That will only last for so long, but I know our love will last longer.” He said pressing his lips into mine. I felt tears drop from my eyes and down my cheeks. I was so happy I heard those words come out of his mouth, but I knew that it wasn’t right.

He pulled away looking into my eyes, “Why are you crying?” He asked softly wiping the tears from my eyes.

“Because I want this for you. It’s not fair if you pass it up for me.” I sniffled.

His eyes softened, “There’s nothing to be upset about.” He said caressing the side of my face. “I’m going to take the offer, but I’m not going to break up with you. If they have a problem with that then they lose out on having me as a trainee.”

“I don’t want you to give up your chance.” I argued, with tears in my eyes.

“I’m not, and if it isn’t meant to be, then that’s that. I can always keep trying.” He said brushing the hair out of my face, and kissing me on the lips once more. “I love you, and that is my final decision. You can’t change my mind.”

Yongguk then pulled me into his arms, and against his chest. I felt him place his lips on the top of my head. He kissed me there, and then on my forehead, slowly making his way back down to my lips. My heart pounded, but I still had a pain in my chest. I love Yongguk, I really do, but I don’t want him to lose this opportunity because of me. I can’t argue with him because he is so stubborn, and I wouldn’t win anyway. After everything we had been through together, it seemed like we couldn’t be separated. It was like we had a bond that couldn’t be broken. We did have our disputes, and arguments about stupid, and silly things, but in the end we still love each other.

It had been a few weeks later, when CL and I were sitting in our apartment watching our favorite dramas. We should have been packing to go America, but we were too lazy. There was a knock on the door. I got up from the couch to answer it. When I opened the door, I saw the guys standing in the hallway. They all walked in, with suitcases. Yongguk came in and hugged me immediately, and Himchan walked over to sit with CL.

“Are you packed and ready?” Yongguk asked before kissing me.

“Ahhh…. No.” I said giving him a cute smile.

He looked puzzled, “What? We have to get on a flight in eight hours.”

“I know, I just… it won’t take long I promise.” I said, taking him by the hand to my room. 

“Okay, let me help you.” He replied, and we could hear laughing and Himchan scolding CL.

I started pulling out my summer clothes, and placing them on my bed. I went into my closet, and pulled out one of my suitcases. I placed it on the bed, and started to put my clothes inside of it. Yongguk helped me by putting the clothes I handed him into the luggage.

“So…” I said and paused for a moment, “What’s going on with TS Entertainment?”

“Not much, they still haven’t told me anything yet.” Yongguk replied, but I could tell he was hiding something.

“Is something wrong?” I asked eyeing him suspiciously.

“No. Nothing’s wrong.” He replied, “I’m still waiting to hear from them.”

I knew he was lying. Out of all our friends, and family, I was the only one who knew when he was lying. I sighed, and he turned to face me.

“What?” He asked, “Do you not believe me?”

“No that’s not it,” I said, but that’s how I really felt. I didn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth.

“Then what is it?” He asked sounding angry, and I froze. It was like the old Yongguk had surfaced; the one that I had hated, the one that hated me when we first met.

“It’s just… You don’t sound to convincing, and I’m worried about you. That’s all.” I said trying to hide how I really felt.

I heard him exhale, and then his arms wrapped around me from behind. “Don’t worry about it. Okay? Everything is going to be fine.” He said hugging me from behind. Yongguk’s head rested on my shoulder, and he turned his face towards my cheek, planting a kiss on it.

“Okay,” I said, but that was a lie. I still worried about it, and it was the thought that would not leave the back of my mind.

“Let’s get you finished with packing.” He said in his husky deep voice. “We had a plane to catch.”

I nodded in agreement, and we finished the packing. The time came when we had to leave for the airport. Yongguk and the other boys took our luggage down to where the taxi would be picking us up. I stood in the apartment, and finished cleaning up what was left over from the night before.

Someone came out of the bathroom, “Hey.” Daehyun’s voice said.

I looked up to see him standing right in front of me. “Oh, I didn’t know you were up here. I thought you were with the rest of the guys taking the luggage down.” I said to him, putting away the last of the dishes in the kitchen cabinets.

“Yeah, I already took some down. Then I came back up here to see if you needed any help.” He said with his smooth voice.

“Oh…” I said, “Well it’s all pretty much done. I’m just going to check to make sure everything is closed up correctly in all the rooms, and then we can leave.” 

“Let me come with you.” He said, and followed me to the bedrooms. I checked all the windows making sure they were shut tightly, and then checked all the bathrooms; closing off the water, and making sure there weren’t any leaks.

“I know something is bothering you.” Daehyun said, to me as I climbed under sink in my bathroom.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I said, closing off the water.

He sighed, “Since when have you decided to not be open with me? Have I upset you in any way?”

“No!” I said sitting up quickly. I smacked my head on the top of the cabinet under the sink in the process. “Owww!” I exclaimed, slowly crawling out from under the sink.

“Are you okay?” Daehyun asked, his voice sounding worried.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” I said sitting up slowly this time.

“You are going to get a bruise.” Daehyun said, helping me to my feet.

“I’ll be fine.” I said, rubbing my forehead.

“Tell me what’s bothering you.” He demanded, his eyes stared deep into mine.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said, walking out of the bathroom and into my room. I sat on my bed, because I felt light headed.

Daehyun came and sat next to me, “You know you can tell me anything.” He said.

I sighed, “I don’t know what to do Daehyun.” I began, “Yongguk got an offer from TS Entertainment, and I don’t want him to pass up his chance at becoming famous because of me.” I felt my eyes begin to tear up, but I held them back. I didn’t want Daehyun to see me cry.

“I know.” He said, “But he’s not going to miss his chance. They gave it to him.”

“What do you mean?” I asked confused.

“He got the trainee position, along with the rest of us.”

I made a face of confusion. Daehyun had completely caught me by surprise.

“Wait! What?” I said in bewilderment.

“Hyung didn’t tell you?”

“Didn’t tell me what?”

“He didn’t tell you that the rest of us also got trainee offers.” He said with a surprised look.

“No.” I said and I stared at him still in the midst of my confusion.

“That’s odd, I wonder why?” He said, “but anyway, we all got trainee offers, and we are all going to be trained by TS. You don’t have to be worried; they aren’t making any of us break up with our girlfriends if that’s what you are worried about. They prefer we don’t have any, but they said that we can stay in our relationships as long as we keep it out of the media.”

“Oh… But I still don’t understand why he would keep all this from me.” I said to Daehyun, “What do you think?”

“I think it might be because he is afraid you would feel alone.”

“But why?” I asked.

“Because, CL and the girls are going to YG entertainment. And now all of us guys are going to TS entertainment.” He explained, and he watched my every move.

“Oh… Yeah, you’re right.” I said glumly. Now that he had explained it all to me, I did feel alone. I was the only one who didn’t get an offer, well no that’s a lie. Melia didn’t either, but she’s back in America and doesn’t know if she would come back to school here in Korea.

There was an emptiness that filled me, I felt alone at the very thought of what Daehyun had said. I didn’t even notice that I had begun to cry.

“It’s okay Jeo Jeo. Don’t cry, you’re not alone. I’m here.” Daehyun whispered as he pulled me into his arms. I continued to cry softly, in his chest. Did they all know about this except me? Does Melia know what is happening? Or did they keep it from her too? I felt like I had been lied too, and I didn’t know what to do anymore.

“No! Yongguk was right not to tell me!” I exclaimed, “When you, and him, and the others leave to go train, I’m going to be all alone!”

The tears began to fall even harder, I felt like the floor was crumbling from under me.

“No, that’s not it at all. You won’t be alone, I and the others will still be around.” He said trying to comfort me, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Daehyun was my best friend, and I couldn’t lose him along with Yongguk.

“You know it’s true! You, Yongguk, and the others won’t have time for me. You all will forget about me!” I cried, “Daehyun I can’t lose both Yongguk and you! I wouldn’t be able to live here, I’d have to move back to America.” The tears fell even harder, and I began to hyperventilate. I was happy that all my friends had gotten these great opportunities, but I couldn’t stand the fact that I would lose them as my friends.

“No it’s not. I would never forget you. You are my best friend.” He said sincerely, “No matter how much work I have to do, and how busy I am, I will always make time to be with you. I know that Yongguk feels the same way, he just has a harder time at expressing it.”

“Then now what? What’s going to happen next?” I asked, still in his arms.

“I don’t know. We are going to have to take it one step at a time. But I promise you this” He said placing both his hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes, “I will always be here for you.”

I nodded, and hugged him. “Now stop crying, we are going to leave for America, and have tons of fun.” Daehyun said with a smile. He wiped the tears from my face, and hugged me once again. “Let’s look forward to the Triple A we will be on. The Amazing American Adventure.” He said with a laugh.

“Yah! That’s not it! It’s supposed to be Amazing Asian Adventure. That’s what a Triple A is.” I said correcting him, and a small smile stretched across my face.

“I know, but in this case for me it’s an American Adventure.” He said, “And I like you better when you are happy.”

After I dried my eyes, and fixed my makeup Daehyun and I finished locking up, and headed down to the taxi. When we got there all our things had been loaded up in the giant van, and everyone was already inside it.

“Yah! Hung making moves on Jeo Jeo? Eh?” Jongup questioned Daehyun.

Yongguk looked over to Jongup and gave him a death glare. “No! Jongup! Quit being a byuntae!” Daehyun replied back.

I climbed in the van first and went to sit by Yongguk. CL watched me with worried eyes. She could see that I had been crying, and the others didn’t notice. I hoped Yongguk didn’t notice as well. I didn’t want to have to explain myself to him. So I just sat quietly next to him, and looked out the window. The driver began to drive towards the airport, and the boys began to get loud, and laughter filled the air. I put my headphones in, and listened to my iPod, watching the traffic move along the road. I kept my feelings all bottle up, but when I looked at Yongguk smiling with the others, I felt a pain in my chest. His arm cradled around me, and he pulled me closer to him. I didn’t want to fight him back, or that would send him the wrong message. It would tell him I was upset with him, and the whole situation. I just leaned on him quietly, and closed my eyes listening to Sunny Hill’s Pray.

http://youtu.be/VMO9uDuaSxA

While I listened to the song, a tear dropped from my eye. I quickly wiped it away, and kept my eyes closed. I fought back the tears, holding my breath every so often to hide it. I quietly sobbed, with dry tears. I felt Yongguk’s hand rub my back. I didn’t think anything of it until, he pulled the headphone our of my one ear.

“What’s the matter?” He whispered, so that no one else could hear. We were in the back of the van and everyone’s backs were to us.

“Nothing,” I muttered, “I’m just tired.”

“You’re lying tell me the truth. I know you’re crying.” He whispered again, this time raising my head so that his eyes would meet mine.

“I’m just listening to a sad song, that makes me cry.” I said lying again. He looked at me with hard eyes, and this told me that he wasn’t buying it. I sighed, “I don’t want to talk about it okay.” I said turning away from him, and leaning against the window.

I felt him shift his weight and come closer to me, “If you’re upset about something I want to know.”

“You don’t have to know everything.” I said angrily, but I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.

He looked at me puzzled, “What’s gotten into you? You’re never like this.”

“You lied to me. I don’t want to talk to you right now.” I said, and just stared out the window.

“What are you talking about?”

“Everything! The whole trainee thing. You never told me that the other guys got offers as trainees, and you didn’t tell me that you took the offer, and that they don’t mind that you have a girlfriend, as long as you keep it out of the media.” I said with anger in my voice. I didn’t know where it was coming from, and I didn’t know why I felt like this. It has be some sort of defense mechanism that I don’t quite understand.

He sighed, “I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to ruin our trip. I wanted us to have fun, and not think about the trainee thing. When the guys and I get back from America we have to begin training immediately, and I didn’t want to think about it the whole time. I just wanted to be with you.” He explained and his eyes seemed sincere.

“But why didn’t you just say that in the first place? It would have made things less stressful.”

“Because I didn’t want you to get depressed at how much time we have left together, and what I mean by that is me seeing you everyday. How did you find this all out?” He said pulling me into a hug, the rest of the boys, CL and the driver were singing to a song that was playing on the radio.

“Daehyun told me.” I said, with my face in his chest.

He shook his head, “and I specifically told him not to say anything to you. At least the others listened to me.”

“Huh? Daehyun tells me everything.” I said

“I know, and I should have expected him to tell you. You two are always talking, and up to something.” He said with suspicious eyes, “If I wasn’t your boyfriend, I would think Daehyun would be, judging by the way you two are around each other. Do I have to worry about this?”

“No, Daehyun and I are just friends. Best friends to be exact.” I replied to his silly comment.

“Well if he gets in the way, I’ll just have to get rid of him.” He said with a smile.

“Yah! He’s your friend! You can’t do that!” I said smacking him on the chest.

“I will if he tries to steal my girl. I have to protect her.”

“He’s with Melia! He wouldn’t want to steal me from you.” I argued back, and he began to laugh.

Before we knew it we were in America. We all got picked up by my parents, and went to my house. The three weeks we stayed in America went by in a blink of an eye. Once we were back in Korea, CL and the girls went to train under YG, and Yongguk, Daehyun, and the boys went to TS. Melia came back to finish her schooling with me. We hung out a lot, and became like sisters. It was hard not having CL, and the girls around to go shopping with, but it was even harder not having Yongguk, and Daehyun around. Out of all the boys I was the closest to them. I would talk on the phone with them every now and then, but seeing them in person was even harder. CL and the girls debuted in a group named 2NE1. I was so proud of them, especially CL. She was my cousin, and my childhood best friend. She knew that I was her number one fan. When Melia and I watched their debut stage on TV, CL made a special shout out to us, which made us feel even more special.

The first semester went by faster than Melia and I expected. We were excited to see the boys, but on last minute’s notice we were told that they couldn’t see us for the holidays. It practically crushed Melia and I. So for Christmas we went home to America, to spend it with our families.

When January came we got a letter in the mail saying, “Dear Jung Jeo Jeo and Giordano Melia, On January 26^th please join us here at SBS station. Bring this letter, along with personal identification. Dress fashionably, and be prepared for the Best and Absolute Perfection.”

“What does that mean?” Melia asked, after we read it.

“I don’t know. But what the heck let’s go, it’s this weekend.” I replied.

“Oh my god what am I going to wear?” Melia said running to her closet.

“I don’t know find something,” I said racing to mine.

The weekend came and we headed to the SBS studio. The security checked our letter and identification. They then lead us to the back stage, and told us to wait here for the performances to start. At first Melia and I were confused, but then we thought that it was 2NE1 who brought us here. The lights got dark and music began to play, but it didn’t sound like anything that CL and the girls had sung. When Melia and I saw six blond boys begin to dance on stage, we realized who they were. It was Yongguk, Himchan, Daehyun, Yongjae, Jongup, and Zelo. My heart pounded, and I jumped up and down. I couldn’t begin to explain the pure happiness I felt.

http://youtu.be/oRpypSceeIA

After they performed, they came off stage towards where we were. I saw Yongguk, and I ran up to him. I didn’t care that he didn’t fully come off stage out of the sight of the audience. I smiled when he saw me, and hugged me in his arms, picking me up, and swinging me around in a circle. His lips pressed against mine aggressively, but yet passionately at the same time.  He knelt down, letting me sit on his knee, and announced that I was the love of his life.

The crowed roared, and I was surprised at the response of the crowd. He kissed me once again on the lips, and pulled me into a hug. I bowed, and we walked off stage.