"Woah Namstar! Easy!"

Ayano, a three year old Japanese girl looked on in amazement as the man called Namstar lifted off a piece of rubble and threw it aside. He rubbed the dust off his hands and turned to her, giving her a smile. The American soldier, who had given Woohyun the befitting nickname, left to give the father-daughter some time. Ayano's lips broke into a smile and she fished around her pocket for something. 

"Something for me?" Woohyun asked, going down on his knees and patiently waiting. Ayano was a girl who Woohyun had saved during the Fukushima disaster. Without any family, the girl was either going to land up in foster care or an orphanage. Woohyun then had unhesitatingly taken the decision of adopting her. Because of his high status, his request was smoothly given a yes.

"What's this..." Woohyun's words trailed off as Ayano brightly took out a lollipop, it's bright pink wrapper indicating that it was the 'new!' strawberry flavour. He mutely watched Ayano happily removed the wrapper and pushed it towards his lips. He ed away his memories and paid attention to her. 

"For father," Ayano chirped in broken Korean. Woohyun gave a small smile and gracefully accepted her offer. 

"You don't have to speak Korean, you know?" Woohyun said, his Japanese finally as fluent as a local. In fact, that's what he was hoping to become. It had been two months since the wedding, Saya might have had a hard time deciding but he knew that ultimately, choosing Jae Hyo was the easiest option for her. The easiest, not the best. But beggars can't be choosers. And so for a month, Woohyun engaged himself in rescue operations and thanked destiny for bringing Ayano to him. It had only been five weeks, but the girl was already making space for herself in his heart. Woohyun was slowly beginning to feel like a father.

I just want to get my mind off her, he thought to himself, as Ayano held his hand and walked towards the canteen, kicking the pebbles on the way. He knew he was never going to find another like Saya. Now all he wanted was a mother for Ayano, not someone for himself. Sacrifices had to be made and the world was right, having children was the best way to understand that.

Suddenly, as if revelation struck her, Ayano stopped in front of the tent and folded her hands, pouting. Woohyun raised his eyebrows. Was this going to be her first tantrum?

"Ayano," he said. She looked up and shook her head. "Bad food!" she said and wrapped her small arms around her stomach, as if to assure that she was fine. Woohyun shook his head. He knew it. Dongwoo was not the right cook for anyone, forget a little kid. 

"Dongwoo-yah!" he shouted. A rambling man with eyes as big as a raptor's popped out. Ayano shrieked in fright and hid behind Woohyun. The latter tried to muffle his laugh when Dongwoo tried being friendly with his smile. If only he knew the teeth were not helping.

"You either learn how to cook," he playfully threatened. "Or I take over the kitchen."

Dongwoo widened his eyes and shook his head. "No way! I can't let the supervisor do all the work! You come back here tired after saving lives, how can we make you--"

"It's better than sleeping on an empty stomach!" Woohyun chuckled, nodding towards Ayano. "She refuses to eat anything unless it's made by me, come on, move. I'll make some eggrolls for Ayano. Ayano, you want eggrolls, ri-"

Panic struck Woohyun as he realized that his daughter was no longer behind him. He turned to look at the clueless Dongwoo. 

"Where is she?" he asked. Dongwoo blinked at Woohyun and muttered, "Huh?"

(Listen to Hysterie by Infinite : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YVedCkP8Ro)

Woohyun waved his hand and stormed off in the opposite direction. "Ayano! Ayano, appa will make food for you, okay? No need to hide..."

There were labourers all over the place and it was late afternoon. Fear gripped Woohyun. He had already lost enough, he couldn't lose Ayano.

"Ayano!" Woohyun's shouts increased, the volume going beyond it's limit. Suddenly, he heard a giggle. 

"Ayano," Woohyun ran towards the sound and relief washed through him when he saw the familiar little figure playing hopscotch. His eyebrows furrowed when he heard another sound. Who was Ayano playing with?

As he moved closer, his heart started beating even more. Woohyun placed his hand on his chest. Why are you like this? he asked himself. He saw a woman with a bob cut crouching over the numbered boxes and whispering something to Ayano, the latter giggling again. Suddenly, the two turned around. 

It was Saya.

Woohyun instantly fell on his knees. Surprised by his reaction, both females ran towards him. 

"Appa?"

"Woohyun?"

"Appa daijou?" Ayano asked innocently. Woohyun stared at Saya's face.

"What are you doing here," he asked in a cold voice. The hair on her neck rose up as she recognized this coldness from before. It's just like when he came to India, she thought. But this time, things were different.

"I met your daughter," she smiled and brushed the girl's fringe away from her head. "She's beautiful."

Ayano recognized the word and lit up. "You beautiful too!" she said, pinching Saya's cheeks. Saya laughed and rested the back of her palm on her cheek. Woohyun's burning stare brought her back to focus and she cleared . 

"Ayano," Woohyun said. "Dongwoo oppa has made eggrolls for you."

Ayano was about to say no but even as a kid, she felt something in her father's voice and obeyingly walked away. Saya stayed on her knees, glancing at Woohyun from underneath her eyelashes. The latter gazed at her. Impulsively following his temptation, he looked down at her hand. All senses froze as he noticed her empty fingers. The absence of a ring filled his heart and he looked up at her, a smile on her face.

"You're like a phantom you know that?" Saya said. "Hoya and I had to search high and low for you, Yoseob had no idea where you were until he told us that you had shifted into another unit. Why did you run away?"

Woohyun didn't reply. He was too busy convincing himself that this was reality. The past two months had been nothing but a nightmare, a nightmare that would never return, at least not without his permission. He thought of the nights he was willing to let a passing car hit him. He thought of all the substances he used to get Saya out of his mind. He thought of how he would walk out of dark bedrooms fully clothed, unwilling to distract himself in THAT way. 

"Do you have any idea," Woohyun murmured, blinking back his tears. "How much it hurts when you're not with me?"

Saya felt the goosebumps hit her heart, almost as if it was about to burst. His voice unleashed a volley of emotions and slowly and steadily, she let them flow. 

"This time," Woohyun murmured, watching Saya's tears fall. "This time I thought I had lost you for good. When you took off with Hoya I considered the question of me being good for you. Even if it wasn't Jae Hyo, at least Howon would take care of you."

He watched as Saya wept, taking in breaths every now and then. He wasn't going to wipe away her tears. He knew she didn't want him to. 

"What about," Saya sobbed. "What about how much it hurts me, when I'm in love with you? Holding you in my arms is painful, your feelings always overflow me and I feel scared, almost as if I'm going to break apart. I get scared when I feel like you don't understand, you who always knows my mind before I speak. But I've learned now... I've found you. And I know that even if it means hurting myself beyond my limit, I'll hold on to you."

Woohyun gave out a laugh. Carefully, he held Saya's face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "You don't need to do all that. You think I don't know my mistakes?" 

Saya looked up. Without any waiting, the two moved in for a kiss that almost seemed to be infinite, the bright lights in their closed eyes moving them away to another world.  There was silence around them but their ears rang with each other's words. Tears continued to fall as they refused to let go of each other. Finally, Woohyun pulled away.

"There's just one thing," he said. He gazed into Saya's confused eyes.

"What?" Saya murmured. Woohyun sighed and closed his eyes. As he opened them, he turned to his right. Saya followed his gaze and instantly hid her face. 

Ayano was staring at them with her jaw wide open while Dongwoo ogled at them, pieces of eggshells all over his shirt. 

"Care to explain," a familiar voice started. The two turned around and saw Hoya approach them with a disgusted face. "Why you two are making out in the middle of nowhere?"

Woohyun and Saya exchanged glances. They both sighed. 

"Let's just get it over with," Saya murmured and moved towards Ayano, trying to win back the little girl's heart again. Woohyun embraced Hoya, clapping his back and feeling proud of entrusting his only love to his best friend. Dongwoo's head shifted back and forth, cocking his head to the right as he saw Woohyun... happy. Woohyun watched as Saya successfully braided a strand of Ayano's hair, making the little girl hop in excitement. 

He smiled to himself as Saya's eyes met his. He excused himself out of the scenario and ran to his room, opening a drawer that he had locked away for days. A grin broke apart as he held the small velvet box in his hands. As he ran back, he prayed that the ring would fit her well.

                                                                                ***********************THE END*********************** 

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

In all my fanfics, there has always been ONE song that sparks off the inspiration. In this fanfic, it was Infinite’ s Hysterie from their second EP, Evolution. Not only did SungGyu’s lines ‘I probably love you more, my heart’s too small’ hit me like an electric shock, I started typing away without even considering the future of the story. We’ve all read about protective boyfriends. But is it really that easy to fall in love with them? And if it is, then is it really that easy to stick by them? Is unconditional support the only thing that matters? When I’m writing stories, I want to feel like an elder sister who can help many female readers get out of their nutshell and break away from their dependence on boys. It’s good to have someone who we can feel secure with. But it goes two-ways, you cannot afford to run away when THEY are the ones in trouble. If we want the future to be strong in equality then we should start now. Is it really enough for a man to give us protection? No it isn’t.

Everytime I updated, I was hoping to stir the feelings of the readers and make them think, “Hmm…. So it’s pretty tough huh? Being in a relationship?” Of course it is. In fact, it’s the worst thing any man or woman would do. But we still fall in love and we still take a risk and give our all to an ex-stranger. Why? Because in this world, all that is left in this Pandora’s Box, is hope. There’s hope that love will triumph all. There’s hope that even if we walk away from the ones we love, we’ll see them again. It’s why when death happens, we feel empty. That hope of seeing that person again is lost. Hysterie is not just about a boyfriend with White Knight syndrome. It’s about the craziness, the ‘hysterie’ that rides the love that we oh so throw ourselves into. It’s about the friendship that can go beyond companionship and brush upon the playgrounds of love, without any side-effects. It’s about taking the harder path of giving someone a second chance instead of being safe with the one who has promised it all. It’s about fate, how everything happens for a reason.

The return of someone only marks the deepening of our feelings towards someone who might leave us. Feelings are complex because even though they’re inside us, we do not simply follow them. We’re not animals. We’re humans. We think. We presume. We judge. And then we take a step. What happens after that? No one knows. But planning for the future is stupid. Who knows if you will see tomorrow? Do anything whose not doing will make you regret at the time of your last breath.

Here’s my Hysterie playlist and a flashback to the key moments that were inspired by these songs :

1.       VVIP – Seungri 

2.       All My Heart – Super Junior

3.       Like Spring – Kim Bo Kyung

4.       Entrust – Infinite

5.       Oh! My Goddess – TRAX

6.       Love Should Go On – SHINee

7.       Only You – Wild Rose Thorn

8.       Café – Big Bang

9.       Thank You – CNBLUE

10.   Can You Smile (Remake) – Infinite

11.   I Know – Son Ho Young

12.   Why Are You Like This – T-ara

13.   Love Is Ouch – 2NE1

14.   Blossom – Ayumi Hamasaki

15.   Perfect Man – Shinhwa

16.   Bad Girl – Girls’ Generation

17.   This Is My Confession – FT Island

18.   Lonely – 2NE1

19.   Can U Smile – Infinite

20.   On Rainy Days – BEAST

21.   Thinking About Good Days (Day By Day) – Girls’ Generation

22.   Fiction – BEAST

23.   Candy – H.O.T.

24.   Love Like This – SS501

25.   Bad Girl – BEAST

26.   Planetarium – Ai Otsuka

27.   Good-bye Baby – miss A

28.   Be Mine – Infinite

29.   Kono Yuro Wo Tomete Yo – JUJU

30.   0330 – U-KISS

31.   Amazing – Infinite

32.   只對你有感覺(ft. Hebe) – Fahrenheit

33.   Baby Don’t Cry –U-KISS

34.   Suddenly –Kim Bo Kyung

35.   Because (SungGyu solo) –Infinite

36.   Julia –Infinite

37.   Hysterie - Infinite

Love, almost_asian

P.S. – You guys have been an important part of my life and will continue to be a reminder of the light that got me through my dark times. Saya’s difficulties were not all fiction. Thank you for being so supportive, thank you for appreciating my writing. I love you guys.

P.P.S. – And in case a bunch of you were wondering, YES I AM DEFINITELY WRITING A PARADISE FIC.