(Listen to 이것만은 알고가 (Before U Go) by TVXQ! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0F3sx3FSIvs)

Woohyun sat on the plane, watching the wheels hit the tarmac and feeling the adrenaline from the landing run out of him. He stepped out of the jet, thanking the pilot and waiting for his friend Yoseob. The latter jumped out and stretched his arms wide, throwing a grin towards him.

“So? Next flight to India?” Yoseob frowned when Woohyun didn’t reply, his eyes fixed on the ring in his hand. He sighed and looked up at the sky, then glancing at Yoseob. He gave a small smile and murmured, “Guess so. First, there’s some stuff to settle.”

The drive back to his house was tedious. Midway, he almost stopped the driver, almost told him that they were going the wrong way. The driver raised his eyebrows when Woohyun shook his head and apologized for the mistake.

“Too used to your old house?” the taxi driver said. Woohyun pursed his lips and looked out of the window, trying to push back the feelings that arose when he passed by the the familiar café in Hongdae.

Is this scenario good enough for you to rely on me?

Woohyun thought back to the rainy day, when Saya had cut all ties with him. She hadn’t even tried to say anything later, the sharp silence at the dinner table had hit everyone with a shock. But it wasn’t her fault. He knew he had been a burden. He hadn’t been able to control his feelings.But there was so much left to say. There was so much Saya still had to know.

“You’re not meeting her ever again.” Hoya furrowed his eyebrows and raised his finger. “I’ve been sitting quietly, watching her listen to everything you have to say. This time, I’ve had enough. We’re childhood friends but I love Saya as much as you do, it’s the truth. Now either you change your ways, or I make sure she never sees you again.”

If Hoya had been the one, then Woohyun would not have even bothered. But it wasn’t his trusted friend. It was him. Lee Jaehyo, the hurricane that had promised to just pass by, the promise that Saya had so innocently believed.

She probably doesn’t know,he thought as he remembered the sting of his suspicions coming true. He was confident, Hoya was the one who had brought Jaehyo back. He had done it with all good heart, with pure intentions. Saya had brought a smile on his face after years of being distant, how could Lee Howon not return that favour? Hoya was worried, worried that Saya would be swallowed by Woohyun’s intensity. And unfortunately, he had been right.

He had seen it coming, he had tried preparing himself. And yet, even on the night that Saya had asked him the question-did you ever feel like you needed to protect me?- he had held onto the ring as tightly as he had hung onto her. Thinking about her after three years, he felt stupid. He realized how foolish he had been. Instead of sitting with her and patiently listening to her mind, he had blindly followed his own intuition and taken the wrong path.

The morning after, Saya had stood next to her parents when he left. He could still see the shadow on her face, the darkness he had been afraid of ever since they had touched down on Delhi. He had never seen her act so furious, say words so deep. Even during intimate moments, she would just surrender and at the same time, use all her power on him. It was a side of Saya that he had never even dreamed of.

Anger burned his heart when he thought of Saya and Jaehyo together, her letting go with him. He tried shaking it off, then laughed and let his imagination run wild. Saya was still the same, he told himself. But as the words of the blog ran its last breath, he had felt something strange take over. It was almost as if the story had been written by two different people. The first one he knew, the second he had said goodbye to without an introduction.

Deep inside, he wasn’t sure of what he was doing. Why was he holding onto the engagement ring, if he wasn’t even in his right mind to face her? He pictured her image in his head but he understood that meeting her would be a completely different experience. But Yoseob’s words and the name at the end of the invitation strengthened his realization. Saya didn’t know. She would never know. And despite all the stupidity he had shown in their last moments, despite him not sure of what this trip was going to bring, one thing was for sure. He couldn’t let go of her. Not without telling her, confessing to her, letting her know. Before she could go away forever, he had to let her know that once, there was a man who loved her more than he loved himself. And with that memory, maybe just once, she would think of him. Saya had to know, that there would be no one who would love her as much he did.

The peace it brought to Woohyun’s mind was divine and he locked the door, his luggage in his hand. The taxi driver drove him to the airport and as he closed his eyes during take-off, he began to recollect all his feelings for her, for that’s the only way she would recognize him. Nam Woohyun-the fool who had suffocated her with his dumb obsessions, the idiot who had choked her with his love…For the first time in a long time, he dreamed of her.

“My father’s not well,” SeokHyun said. Woohyun cut the call and left his house, walking down to the flower shop and carrying some hot soup he had specially made for the old man. He dropped off at Kangnam station and sat inside a taxi. He fished around his pockets and stopped the man.

“I don’t have much cash…” With that, he threw an apologetic smile and quickly ran out of the cab. That was close, he thought to himself. He looked up as the thunder burst and saw the rain slowly pelt down on him. Woohyun almost laughed with pride when he unfolded the umbrella that had been carried for precaution and took the long way around the Everest Café intersection.

He liked the rain. He always had. Walking in the rain reminded him of his young days with his parents, wiped away the tragedy of the fire that had swallowed them. The rain made him feel like he could wash away the fire and save them. But he couldn’t. And so, all he would do was walk in the rain and think of the happy memories.

Ever since their death, he would feel a powerful urge to help whoever he met, a trait that had led him into hospice care. He loved taking care of the old people, sometimes even terminally ill kids. Instead of giving them false hopes and promises, he would help them prepare for death. “Waiting for death means no fear and regret when the moment comes.” It was a belief he stuck with, a belief that made him live life without any repentance.

The sound of a cry interrupted his thoughts. Woohyun stopped in his tracks and to his surprise, found himself looking across the road at a woman, her figure frozen on the ground, her tears mixing with the rain. Maybe she had a bad night, he thought and was about to walk away when the view of oncoming headlights caught his attention. His eyes widened as he saw the uncontrolled vehicle zoom towards the woman.

“Ya!! Yah!!! Move!!”

Woohyun had always been a good Samaritan, but this was the first time he had felt so urgent, the first time he had lost his calm. The woman looked up and his senses vanished. She was beautiful. Her trenchcoat, that had been soaked by the rain, was shielding a fitting blue dress. He studied her face and couldn’t help but wonder at the innocence that emanated from her.

“I CAN’T!”

Woohyun winced. Her voice wasn’t sharp, but the helplessness of the situation hurt him. The car was almost there, it was impossible for him to do much. Why couldn’t she just move?

Woohyun listened to his heart and suddenly, found himself putting down the umbrella and the basket, the bouquet of flowers too. “Is it your shoes?” He looked at the fancy blue pair of heels and realized that he was right. The stilletos were stuck in the sewer holes.

The girl didn’t listen and instead of panicking, he saw her close her eyes and take a deep breath in. The adrenaline that was missing hit him with a bang and seconds later, he found himself flying towards her, holding her in his arms. He shielded her head with his hand, feeling the crack in his knuckles. He looked towards her, lying down next to him and before she could open his eyes he shifted his sight to the sky.

What just happened? he thought to himself. He heard the girl lift herself up, then lie back down. He looked at her and  found his arm to be the culprit that had stopped her.

Sometimes, the heart knows what the mind doesn’t. He remembered his grandmother’s words and gave out a small laugh.

What just happened?

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NOTE : When I read the lyrics of Before U Go, I couldn't help but wonder if Young Yoo Jin had read my fanfic. This song inspired me through and through, especially during the downward spiral of the relationship. Please make the small effort of reading the translated lyrics below!