[Listen to Because by Infinite (Sung Gyu Solo) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnMiYvDrRzY]

“This isn’t right.”

I turned around and sighed. Yoseob was sitting on the bed, almost like a lifeless doll that had been set up as part of decorations. Just there. The wedding day had arrived, as fast as it had come close to being cancelled. No one knew what was going on in Saya’s mind but the sorrow of returning to the wrong person still vibrated in the air. The echo of Saya’s cries was more like a buzz, something I had unfortunately gotten used to.

For many people, Saya was making the sensible choice. The first thing we did was clear up the rumours chalked up by the press. No, we did not elope. No, Saya is not pregnant with my child, that’s just ridiculous! Yes, the two are still…

I looked towards Saya who just stiffened at the question.

“Saya,” the innocent reporter asked. She was probably new to the job, her enthusiasm was obvious. Saya noticed too. At that moment, something must have fallen apart, for she smiled and nodded.

“Yes, Jae Hyo and I are still getting married.”

“But,” the reporter asked again, confused. “There was news from some sources that your ex-lover returned to break up the wedding…”

Saya stiffened, this time in fear of shattering. Jae Hyo took over and smiled at the reporter. “That only happens in movies.”

That closed the talk. That closed everything. Saya was now being safe. She was going to marry a predictable future. I was happy for her, happy that I wouldn’t have to worry. But as I straightened the lapel of my suit, Yoseob’s words struck me on a sensitive note.

“It’s not right Howon,” Yoseob muttered, looking up at me with those button eyes of his. I still wasn’t fond of him but what could one do? A good heart is a good heart. Jihyun told me how he had tried his best to stop Woohyun, how he had restrained himself from starting a fight with Jae Hyo. Though the image of the latter was amusingly comical to me.

“Hoya,” I pursed my lips and sighed. “It’s HoYA.”

Yoseob didn’t have the strength to move his face. He just blankly stared at me and blinked, murmuring, “Whatever…” and slowly lifting himself off to stand in front of the mirror. He didn’t want to do this but Saya had made him stay. SHE was fond of him, that was evident.

I stared at Yoseob’s reflection. The man was just putting on a farce. Deep inside, I knew he was as tempted as me to stomp a foot on the priest’s head and scream, “I object to this communion!” But norms would always be followed, no matter how eccentric Saya was as a person, she had to keep up the reputation of her family and most importantly Jae Hyo’s. Da Hae noona had gone all out in the search for the perfect wedding dress. I still hadn’t seen it and remembered Kairi’s words the night before.

“How does she look?” I asked. Kairi gave a soft smile and shrugged.

“It’s true to Saya. Not too affluent.”

The groom couldn’t look. The best man doesn’t count, right?

“I’ll be right back,” I told Yoseob, patting his shoulder. Yoseob stopped me and nodded his head, as if to ask, “Where are you heading now?”

“I’m going to see Saya once.” Yoseob his lips and in a dry voice said, “I’ll come too.”

I felt a bit peeved. I wanted to spend some time alone with Saya. But oh well, beggars can’t be choosers. The two of us stepped out of the partition and knocked on the door next the bathroom.

“Yes?” Jihyun called out.

“It’s me,” I said. Jihyun opened the door and smiled.

“You better take care of your jaw before you enter,” she teased. Yoseob just rolled his eyes while I gave a polite smile and walked in.

Jihyun was right.

The dress was fluffy and light cream in colour, it’s only glamour point being the thin high-waist belt and the georgette layers at the bottom. No matter how much Da Hae noona had worked, I knew that this choice had ultimately been Saya’s. Only she could wear this as a bride.

Saya turned her head and stood up from her chair. “Hoya,” she murmured.

Her voice sent shocks of pain to my body and she ran to me, embracing me. “I wanted to see you,” she said, her voice muffled.

“And this is why I didn’t want to,” I joked. Saya broke apart and lightly hit me. There was no hint of a smile on her face, only a peaceful gaze set deep inside her eyes. She was accepting whatever was being thrown at her. After all that attempt to protect her, this is what had become of her. The guilt stabbed me, but I bit back my expressions for her.

“So,” I held her by the shoulders and looked at her up and down. “You look amazing.” Our eyes met and she knew I was further saddened by it. She was looking beautiful alright. If only Woohyun had been here.

“Saya.” Yoseob spoke from behind me, giving her a light hug in the process. Saya’s lips pulled up a bit and she said, “I’m glad you stayed.”

Yoseob stayed quiet. After a pause, he said, “I have nothing to say.”

Watching over us was Jihyun who clapped her hands loudly, startling us. “Okay everyone out!! The last thing Saya needs is cold feet!!”

Jihyun successfully pushed all the stylists and bridesmaids out the door where Yoseob and I had been getting dressed. Yoseob too tagged along, looking like a broken toy soldier. Saya watched his back walk away and bit her lip.

“Hey…” I held her chin and shook my head. “Look what you’ve done.” I sat her down and went down on my knees.

“Look here,” I said and took hold of the lipstick standing on the vanity table. “The colour’s gone, I’ll do it for you.”

                                                ***********************************

I watched as Hoya applied the light red lipstick on Saya’s lips. My fiance, the one who I was going to get married to today, gave him a sad look, paying soft attention to her best friend’s alert gaze.

Even the make-up couldn’t hide it. Saya’s fresh wheatish complexion was now as pale and overcast like a new moon. Hoya’s futile attempt to help her made her smile a bit, but beyond that crack, nothing improved. It was the same smile she had flashed to the reporters, the same smile I had being seen for the past week, the same smile she had been practicing in front of the mirror before walking out the door…

I stayed behind the curtains, shamelessly eavesdropping over the conversation.

“You heard about me and Kairi right?” Hoya started. Saya nodded and sighed. “You guys shouldn’t have…”

“We would have,” Hoya interrupted and sat up on the stool next to her. “There, it’s done.” He smiled at his accomplishment and gazed at her.

“If only..”

“Don’t.” Saya quickly grabbed his hand and shook her head. “It’s too late now.”

It was the look in her eyes that did it. It was her breath that seemed to be hanging on a loose thread. It was her shaking hands, they should be stable for a young woman. But her insides had gone cold, her heart was now an old woman’s, someone who needed nothing more than a ventilator to get along.

That did it.

(Listen to Julia by Infinite : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt9sQCx58gE)

“In case you were wondering,” I whispered. Hoya looked at me. Had it been that long since I last initiated a conversation?

“Kairi and Yoseob aren’t going to get back together,” I murmured. Hoya smiled at my attempt, look who was trying to cheer up who?

“Who said that?” Hoya said. “Just wait for a few months, you’ll be having another potboiler in your hands.”

I pulled up my lips again. This was all it could do. Just till here, my flexibility had gone. My stamina for happiness had its limits now. All the infinite possibilities had roughly faded out and I knew that all I could do, was let things flow over me.

At that moment, the curtain parted. Hoya and I stood up as Jae Hyo emerged.

“Jae,” I whispered. “Wh-what… it’s bad luck to…”

“Shut up.” His voice was shaking. “Just… if I ask you to do me a favour, would you?”

“Yah,” Hoya stood between us, a deep furrow in his eyebrows. “She’s getting married to you…”

“That’s what it’s about,” Jae Hyo snapped. He then looked at me and the pit in my stomach started reacting. Not today. There was no incentive for my body to express my feelings. Then why was I feeling so …

“You still love him don’t you?” Jae Hyo asked, pain in his eyes. “Woohyun?”

The pit started filling up, like water rushes into an empty bathtub. Like a waterfall, my feelings gushed and a thousand memories washed over me.

“Custom-made boots .”

“Is this scenario good enough for you to rely on me?”

“By the way…. Happy birthday.”

“What’s the next small step?” I whispered. Woohyun caressed a teardrop and murmured, “Sleep.”

“Is the topic so bad that we need to talk about the weather first?”

 "How can a cup have a blood type?"

“Because love isn’t enough. There was something else missing and though it’s late, it’s better than never.”

“When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.”

“Saya.”

I awoke from my daydream. The feelings overflowed and I felt my vision blurring. Jae Hyo wiped the tears away and from my peripheral glance, I saw my cheeks blackened by the eyeliner trickling down.

“Answer,” he pleaded. I sobbed and with all my strength..

“Yes,” I said. “I still love Woohyun. I’ve always loved him. I’m sorry.”

For a moment, there was silence. Hoya wasn’t around anymore, I didn’t see where he had gone. Suddenly, Jae Hyo’s face tightened and the next second, I was being dragged out of my room.

“Jae Hyo!”

“Follow me,” he muttered. I called out again, but he hushed me, shocking me. My tears stopped flowing and as I saw where we were going, fear gripped me.

Was Jae Hyo forcing me to the altar?

“Listen,” I begged. “You can’t do this.. Jae Hyo, listen. Please!”

“Will you just calm down?” Jae Hyo hissed. I was taken aback and with an array of feelings bursting inside me, pulled myself out of my body. I closed my eyes and thought of Woohyun, the resentment inside me being a sadist and torturing me.

We stopped and I took a deep breath in. Slowly, I opened my eyes and to my surprise, found myself standing in front of Hoya.

I turned to Jae Hyo, who was looking away. He took out what looked like a new key from his jacket pocket and threw them at Hoya. He then looked at me.

“Go.”

My heart started beating fast, the blood rushing to my face. “Wh-what wait.. I thought…”

Jae Hyo looked away and put his hands in his pocket. “When we met five years ago, you still loved Woohyun. You took time and then together the two of us became a couple. You loved me, I know that. But Woohyun returned and your feelings showed you the truth. I was never the second man Saya, I could never be. You can only fall in love with a person one at a time. To fall in love with me, you had to forget him. But to fall in love with him all over again… all it took was his presence. He’s the one you should be running to, right?”

The adrenaline started pumping itself through my veins. My mind was now alert.

“Saya?” Hoya said. I gave Jae Hyo a hug and whispered, “See you again.” Jae Hyo gave a light chuckle. “Sure. Now go.”

I grabbed Hoya’s hand and ran with him, holding my dress up with the other hand.

“Where’s the car?” I asked. Hoya grinned. “Front gate.” As he spoke, the two of us ran through a crowd of white curtains and bumped into something. It was the priest.

Hoya and I looked at each other and lightly glanced at the guests. My parents instantly stood up, Da Hae and Kairi’s jaws dropped, while Yoseob looked like he had finally seen the light.

“This will not look good,” Hoya muttered. The reporters stared at us and compared their pictures of Jae Hyo to the man next to me.

“Run!” I tugged Hoya’s hand and the two of us sprinted away, leaving the wedding behind.