Report Card - Deaf by ThatNerdyBlackChic. Chapters 1-12.

Story Link

Title : (1/2) Was it eye-catching? Does it fit the fic? Would I have clicked on it?

It fits the fic of course but personally, I wouldn't have clicked on it.

Description & Foreword : (0/2) Did it get me curious/interested? Did it give too much information or totally off topic? Was it a proper description and foreword?

The description and foreword you have.. they're not really what they're suppose to be. Think of them as like, the back of the book cover or when you open it and there's the tidbit that gets you interested on the side. I guess the description could have passed as one since it did tell about the fic in a way but the foreword was just... no. Like the brief summary you gave me for your request is a description. These two things are the first things a reader will read when they click on your fic, it's suppose to get them hooked or interested. Sadly I wasn't all that hooked.

Originality: (5/5) Was it different from other fics out there? Were you able to make it your own in a way?

I don't see many fics out there being about someone with like a disability much and honestly, I don't see many Amber fics much either.

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (4/5) How were things like your background, poster, and font? Did I have trouble reading due to any font ?

No trouble reading due to the font. However your author notes were often in a different color. Sometimes it was highlighted with this color that hurt your eyes or it already was just in a color that hurt your eyes. I quote my boy Lee Joon, " You shouldn't do that."  You didn't have a background or a poster which is fine since it's not like you have to have one. I suggest getting one though because it looks a little bland. Again, it's like thinking of your fic as an actual book. Poster= book cover.

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (4/6) Did you have a wide range in variety with words? Was I able to visualize things in my head easily with your words?

There wasn't much of a variety of words. I wasn't able to picture much too. There were lots of parts where you could have taken more time out to describe things.

Story Flow: (8.5/10) Were things going by smoothly or was it confusing and jerky?

Fairly smooth.

Grammar, Sentence Fluency, and etc : (2/20) I’m a semi-grammar freak GRAMMAR NAZI so grammar is a big thing for me. Grammar, spelling, and all the good stuff in this section. Except this part of the grading to be stricter. Seriously.  You will lose big points for this. Keep in mind, that deep within , I am probably a grammar dictator. D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R.

My grammar dictator side of me REALLY came out while reading this fic. While I review and everything, I always have a sheet of paper in front of my and I take notes on things. There were grammar mistakes in 8/12 chapters of this fic, and you might think it was all small things, but they were pretty big things. Total of grammar mistakes were 28+ and they were quite silly. Being a grammar freak, it drove me, beyond insane. Because I really think you should fix them here's all of them I wrote down:

Spelled HyunA's name wrong, it was spelled 'Hyunha'.

' Amber trialed Jonghyun-" wait one second. TRIALED? I think you meant trailed.

'..around her should..' should be '..around her shoulders'

" What is a train is coming and you can't hear it?" should be " What IF a train is coming and you can't hear it?"

Also in the 3rd chapter I noted you put ' probably Taemin'. Who's POV is this in? Is in Amber's who is guessing that it 'probably is Taemin' and if so, how did she even come to that conclusion? It's mostly typed out in 3rd POV, however, many moments where I questioned that.

This mistake started happening after the third chapter; quotation spacing. It would be typed out like:

“Are you a girl or boy?”
“Do you like girls?                                             

It drove me crazy. There's 10+ times within this fic where it was like that.

 At first you referred to Minzy as Minzy but then for the rest of the fic, it changed to Minji. I know her birth name is Minji but it was confusing how it just like BAM changed. Then there was a moment where '4 plastics walked in' and I sat there like " What the heck is going on?" because it was only Jessica and Krystal that walked in and no mentioning of anyone else.

"You're to advanced to be in here.." should be "You're TOO advanced to be here.."

"Watch it Krystal."

See anything wrong with that sentence? It doesn't say who says it afterwards and it sure as hell wasn't Amber who was already 'talking to her'. After the next part, you find out it is Minzy ( Minji?) who said it, but did you know that before? No.It was a different person so it could have been put as

"Watch it Krystal." Minzy ( or Minji?) warned.

"What are nerds up to?"

What the heck did Jonghyun just say? I think he meant," What are you nerds up to?"

'Donghae tyoe away his phone.' ..... Tyoe? TYOE? .... TYOE?!

'She wa...' -----> ' She was...' is the correct one.

"Who am I suppose to talk too now?" should be " Who am I suppose to talk to now?"

'They we're twins.' .... should be ' They were twins.' Actually scratch that since it's the wrong tense, ' They ARE twins.'

"The dude's we're hot." THIS SENTENCE ALMOST MADE ME FLIP A CAR WITH MYUNGSOO IN IT SO IT COULD ROLL AROUND FOREVER. It should be, " Those dudes are hot." -shudders at the way those two characters talked-

"They're my brothers and sisters." ... Sisters? When did Amber get more than one sister?  **sister

'He signing was so smooth.' should be ' HER signing was so smooth."

There's more out there. I suggest going back, reread your chapters, and edit.

 

Plot: (17/20): Very important. Was it interesting? Was it well written? Was I able to get into it or did I start losing interest? Etc.

Despite the grammar mistakes and everything that drove me crazy, I found the plot pretty interesting. For one, it took place in America. I'm not sure if they were speaking English or Korean, it was never clarified. Fairly well written.

Writing Style and Format : (18/20) How was the layout/formatting? Was your style easy to figure out and read? How does it look? Was it professional looking? Etc.

Your style of writing was pretty easy to read a few moments of confusion here and there though. Like the texting would be in a larger(?) and different font, notes were in italics and etc.

Overall Enjoyment: (7/10) How much I liked your fic overall.

Those grammar mistakes really killed your score. Making someone like me, a grammar freak, read it was just.. oh shisus. HOWEVER I did like the plot and idea of your fic.

Total: 66.5/100

BUT WAIT- THERE’S EXTRA CREDIT~! A CHANCE for more points and also a possibility that more points will get taken off…

Characters: (0/3) Were your characters well developed? Did they have a voice to them?

You need some improvement in this small department. There wasn't much voice and your characters need more development.

Chapter Titles: (-1/2) Did you even have them? Did they go with the chapter? Were they creative?

Let me explain why I'm actually taking a point off for this. Although you DID have chapter titles, they weren't creative. They were just like quotes from the chapter. Most of them were in capital letters and some didn't really have to do with the chapter even though it was a quote for the chapter. A good example is the chapter title ' SHUT UP JONGHYUN'. Yes, they do tell him to shut up and everything but that's not what the whole chapter is about.

My Feels: (-1/5) What were my reactions to events? Did you get me to laugh, or crack a smile, resist the urge to throw something at the computer screen, cry, etc? All that good stuff. *Note- Points will be taken off if I ever had any “ What the hell did I just read” moments.

Despite my grammar issues with this fic, it got a lot of smiles out of me. However, the many moments of confusion, wanting to rip my hair out, throw a car with L in it, and WTF moments just over powered the 3 I was going to give you.

Twists & Turns + Cliffhangers: (0/2) Did you have them? Were they creative or gasp worthy?

None.

Anything Else: (0/3) Anything else praise worthy or points off?

N/A

Notes/ Comments : I know I may have sounded a bit harsh or mean but when it comes to grammar I really can't control myself. Plus I put a warning in the rules. It's a nice idea and everything but there is room for improvement. I did like the fic, but grammar mistakes and everything hold me back giving lots of points. I think it's nice that you're willing to do research and everything for your fic though. Other than grammar and what not, it was a good fic. So don't let this get to you too hard. : ]

Final Total: 64.5/100