Report Card - Circle by himalayancat. Chapters 1-12.

Story Link

Title : (1/2) Was it eye-catching? Does it fit the fic? Would I have clicked on it?

It's not very eye catching but from how I see it, I think there's this deep meaning to the title and I like things like that so good job.

Description & Foreword : (1/2) Did it get me curious/interested? Did it give too much information or totally off topic? Was it a proper description and foreword?

Description caught my attention a  bit and the foreword was  good.

Originality: (3/5) Was it different from other fics out there? Were you able to make it your own in a way?

High School, love triangle, clinches but you twisted it to your own.

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (4/5) How were things like your background, poster, and font? Did I have trouble reading due to any font ?

Neat. Nuff said.

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (4/6) Did you have a wide range in variety with words? Was I able to visualize things in my head easily with your words?

Very nice range of words and picturing things was easy - at certain parts. Overall a decently clear picture though.

Story Flow: (7/10) Were things going by smoothly or was it confusing and jerky?

The 'TBC' ruins the flow. Also it got annoying haha. Because well, the story isn't complete so of course it's TBC and I don't need someone to have tell me that at the end of every chapter. Like in the 12th chapter I got so into it and I was like "OMG OMG OMG WUT WUT HOLD UP WUT." But then I saw TBC and my face just went -___- 

Grammar, Sentence Fluency, and etc : (14/20) I’m a semi-grammar freak GRAMMAR NAZI so grammar is a big thing for me. Grammar, spelling, and all the good stuff in this section. Except this part of the grading to be stricter. Seriously.  You will lose big points for this. Keep in mind, that deep within , I am probably a grammar dictator. D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R.

Oppa shouldn't be capitalized unless it's at the beginning of  a sentence.

“Oppa,” She burst out when she couldn't’t hold it anymore. “There are some crumbs by your lips.”

She shouldn't be capitalized and it should be a comma after 'anymore'.

She repeated her motion from before. “It’s still there, Oppa.” That period after before should be a comma and oppa shouldn't be capitalized.

“He is a good teacher, but damn, Mandarin . There are just too many characters and pronunciations. I don’t know how I will survive school there.” She whined. Sehun raised his eyebrow; the taller and skinnier of the two then commented heartlessly while keeping his forever-poker-face, “Well, you better have some improvement soon. It’s not like you can avoid being sent there four months from now.”

Should be separated since Sulli is talking and then Sehun is. Right after the word whined. Also the she right next to it should be lower case and a comma should be after 'there'.

'They had been interested in his proposition and asked Sehun to bring Luhan to a dinner-interview. And that was how she met Luhan.'

I feel like this little tidbit can be revised in two ways. The first way would to just make it

'They had been interested in his proposition and asked Sehun to bring Luhan to a dinner-interview, and that was how she met Luhan.'

or it could be

'They had been interested in his proposition and asked Sehun to bring Luhan to a dinner-interview. That was how she met Luhan.'

Of course there's always numerous ways to revise but I think those two are the 'best' option. Starting sentences with 'and' is OK but it's something one should avoid as I was taught growing up and  sadly, it happens a lot in here haha.

'And that was how she had her heart shattered into million pieces.

After all, The man who owned her heart was in love with her best friend, Sehun.'

First note 'the' after 'after all' shouldn't be capitalized. Also that first sentence, you can just take off the and.

“I think I will puke the next time I saw a Chinese character.” She whined as she slumped herself on her bed.

The same mistake that you've commonly missed again also saw is past tense and it should be present tense.

“I’m looking forward to Saturday, then. And please just add the session to Monday, Oppa. I don’t want to spoil my Sunday.”

It just sounded weird when I read it out loud as how it was punctuated. I don't know if that's really how to want it to be said so I'm not taking points off but note that there are a few other sentences that are like this too.

I don't quite understand this sentence but I think it's missing a few words. “Tiffany-noona kind of having two extra ticket to the screening and I, no, she just remembered that you like him. So maybe we could go together.”

'She didn't’t knoe who it was and was startled at first.' *know

'Jinri need a solution and fast' *needed

Overall really it's just the whole 'comma here and there',  capitalizing something that doesn't need to be and etc. Small mistakes that piled up but can all be found by reading closely and revising. Spelling and tense problems here and there. Also I notice you put an s after 'stuff' to make it plural, you don't have to do that since 'stuff' in a way is plural I guess.

Plot: (17/20): Very important. Was it interesting? Was it well written? Was I able to get into it or did I start losing interest? Etc.

I was able to get into, that's probably because personally for me, I could relate to some things.

Writing Style and Format : (18/20) How was the layout/formatting? Was your style easy to figure out and read? How does it look? Was it professional looking? Etc.

Really neat formatting.

Overall Enjoyment: (7.5/10) How much I liked your fic overall.

Total: 76.5/100

BUT WAIT- THERE’S EXTRA CREDIT~! A CHANCE for more points and also a possibility that more points will get taken off…

Characters: (0/3) Were your characters well developed? Did they have a voice to them?

Chapter Titles: (0/2) Did you even have them? Did they go with the chapter? Were they creative?

My Feels: (1/5) What were my reactions to events? Did you get me to laugh, or crack a smile, resist the urge to throw something at the computer screen, cry, etc? All that good stuff. *Note- Points will be taken off if I ever had any “ What the hell did I just read” moments.

Cracked some smiles, and I swear my heart was like pounding during the Date chapter.

Twists & Turns + Cliffhangers: (0/2) Did you have them? Were they creative or gasp worthy?

Anything Else: (0/3) Anything else praise worthy or points off?

Notes/ Comments:

Overall it's a good fic, however I do feel as though I should add that I feel like your other fic I reviewed was better when it came to grammar. So many little things just piled up chapter after chapter. I really liked it, I think I went a bit crazy during the Date chapter though haha. For me, I personally felt like I could see through Sulli's eyes and I just- laksjfmdklfcirtag Well done for putting me through an emotional mess >_> Keep up the good work ^_^

Final Total: 77.5/100