Report Card - Cursed Angel by Akane_Angel. Chapters 1-4

Story Link

Title : (1/2) Was it eye-catching? Does it fit the fic? Would I have clicked on it?

For my own taste, I might have clicked on it. I don't quite see how it fits.

Description & Foreword : (1/2) Did it get me curious/interested? Did it give too much information or totally off topic? Was it a proper description and foreword?

The description I guess works, but it gives off more of a vibe of a foreword. Maybe if you revised it a bit then it would be more of a description. Please space out words by the way too.

Originality: (3.5/5) Was it different from other fics out there? Were you able to make it your own in a way?

I feel like it was pretty different - in a way.

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (4/5) How were things like your background, poster, and font? Did I have trouble reading due to any font ?

Very neat.

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (3/6) Did you have a wide range in variety with words? Was I able to visualize things in my head easily with your words?

Decent range of words. Not much of a picture in my head. I don't even know what Hyomi looks like or anything really. Nothing was going on in my head picture wise.

Story Flow: (6/10) Were things going by smoothly or was it confusing and jerky?

Everything was going pretty smooth until the last chapter and then BAM. HUGE CHOP.

Grammar, Sentence Fluency, and etc : (17/20) I’m a semi-grammar freak GRAMMAR NAZI so grammar is a big thing for me. Grammar, spelling, and all the good stuff in this section. Except this part of the grading to be stricter. Seriously.  You will lose big points for this. Keep in mind, that deep within , I am probably a grammar dictator. D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R.

'The curses of the two adults were screaming at each other irratated her ears until she swore it could bleed.' Ears are plural so 'it' should be changed to 'they'. Also I think you can take out 'were', reading it out loud it sounds a bit funny to me. Can you find the spelling mistake too?

“But it is not the time to waste yourself on him again. He is the past, so be it.”Hyomi reminded herself as she side-stepped another passerby in her way.

The period after it should be a comma and Hyomi needs to be spaced away from the quotations.

That's all I really caught.  There might be some little things I might have missed.

Plot: (14/20): Very important. Was it interesting? Was it well written? Was I able to get into it or did I start losing interest? Etc.

I was kind of interested. Part of that was because I was totally confused at first and wanted to keep reading to clear everything out. I feel like there could have been a better ending or just more development to the ending. Because that last chapter just - phew HUGE chop that ruined the plot line.

Writing Style and Format : (18/20) How was the layout/formatting? Was your style easy to figure out and read? How does it look? Was it professional looking? Etc.

Neat. Nuff said.

Overall Enjoyment: (6/10) How much I liked your fic overall.

Total: 73.5/100

BUT WAIT- THERE’S EXTRA CREDIT~! A CHANCE for more points and also a possibility that more points will get taken off…

Characters: (0/3) Were your characters well developed? Did they have a voice to them?

Not much of a voice or development.

Chapter Titles: (0/2) Did you even have them? Did they go with the chapter? Were they creative?
 

My Feels: (0/5) What were my reactions to events? Did you get me to laugh, or crack a smile, resist the urge to throw something at the computer screen, cry, etc? All that good stuff. *Note- Points will be taken off if I ever had any “ What the hell did I just read” moments.

I'm going to continue rambling on about that ending. It was happy yes but I just shrugged it off because I didn't have much reason to want them to be together. It's not like I got to read about them going through all the struggles in order to be with each other that would have made me think "OMG YOU TWO NEED TO END UP TOGETHER NOW." Instead reading the ending I was more like, "Oh. That's nice. I guess."
 

Twists & Turns + Cliffhangers: (0/2) Did you have them? Were they creative or gasp worthy?
 

Anything Else: (0/3) Anything else praise worthy or points off?

Notes/ Comments:

First off I must say, I'm usually pretty strcit overall har har. But anyways. A suggestion would be to make your introduction in the first chapter your foreword. Also the last chapter felt really rushed and just like throw at my face while I was reading it. I don't know if you want to do anything about that. But you could have used all that information in the last chapter for so much more like development and etc instead of just clearing everything out like that. I really reccomend going back and putting in a few more chapters or just stretch out the chapters for more development because this has the potential to be so much more. Please PM me if you have anymore questions ^^

Final Total: 73.5/100