Report Card - Fake Prince by LimaLemon Chapters 1-10.

Story Link

Title : (0/2) Was it eye-catching? Does it fit the fic? Would I have clicked on it?

I would have just scrolled past the title in all honesty. I feel like the title doesn't really go with the fic. I suggest thinking of a new title(?) A suggestion from my would be 'SR' but that's just me. Because then personally for me, I think ' Hm.. what does SR mean?'

Description & Foreword : (0/2) Did it get me curious/interested? Did it give too much information or totally off topic? Was it a proper description and foreword?

Description did not catch my attention, instead I just sighed and went "Oh shisus, it's one of those fics.." Warnings about /rated M content and review links should be in the foreword. Revision.

Originality: (5/5) Was it different from other fics out there? Were you able to make it your own in a way?

Quite unique in all honesty, although at the same time I bit of 'wtf' vibe coming from it.

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (3/5) How were things like your background, poster, and font? Did I have trouble reading due to any font ?

Looked at the background and right away I was like, "No." Haha but seriously, the background is distracting and very unfitting.

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (3/6) Did you have a wide range in variety with words? Was I able to visualize things in my head easily with your words?

Picturing things was hard, a blurry movie really. An average range of words.

Story Flow: (7/10) Were things going by smoothly or was it confusing and jerky?

Constant A/N ruined the flow badly. Also just kind of choppy overall.

Grammar, Sentence Fluency, and etc : (10/20) I’m a semi-grammar freak GRAMMAR NAZI so grammar is a big thing for me. Grammar, spelling, and all the good stuff in this section. Except this part of the grading to be stricter. Seriously.  You will lose big points for this. Keep in mind, that deep within , I am probably a grammar dictator. D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R.

Right when I got to the forth sentence of the description, my eyes lower and I just stared at the screen for the longest time.

' What if u can't leave him, ever? '

....... NEVER EVER shorten words up like that for fics. Properly spell out YOU never shorten them like that.

'His touch, his words, his action all drives you over the edge.' last half of the sentence needs revising : ' his actions all drive you over the edge. '

Right in the first few sentences of the first chapter there's a switch in tenses already. 'I was going to college and I was in a hurry. I am almost late to class and it will take me about 15 more minutes to go to my class.'

'Yeah, that’s another tradition of this college, if you come late, other students can make fun of you and professors won’t say a thing. In their word, '

That comma after college can be a  period and there's a L missing in world.

'I think my brain is having a malfunction, otherwise why I keep bubbling about this rules and stuff?? LOOK, now I am even talking to my self!! Jee young-ah, baby don’t become crazy and just focus on walking faster?' Revise revise revise.

'ok Eff this I don’t care that I am a girl who is wearing a dress, I am running.' Correction/suggestion : Okay, eff this I don't care if I'm a girl who is wearing a dress, I'll just run. OR I didn't care if I was wearing I dress anymore and I started running. 

'First thing I noticed was that it was a guy (no duhhhh :P) and the second, ' I don't think it's really a 'no duhhh' moment because honestly, it COULD have been a girl taller than your OC. That side comment is unnescessary .

'My mouth hang open. He had silky dirty blond hair, sharp nose, very pink lips and a prominent jaw. It is awkward to call a guy beautiful but there can not be any other word that can justify him. And man, was he tall? I bet he is above 6 ft and well built. The gray shirt clung to him as he raises his hand to scratch his head. ' * hung open. a sharp nose.. and a prominent jawline.

'He looked even weirdly at me… ' sounds weird doesn't it?

'I jumped off the bike and ran to my class before the door can close.' should be past tense ; could.

'But leaving a hand from Kris’s waste to move the hair was too much of a hassle. And also the fact that it might make me unbalanced and I fall from the bike and die.'  Please tell me you can spot that typo. You can also take out 'and also' and let the sentence start with 'the' .

Lots of punctuation errors like

...Kris told me that you were a little…..um distressed”

After one talks there should be a comma not just the quotation marks unless it end else wise with a question mark or exclamation mark.

“Hmmppp” was all I said. “Well, at least you laughed and showed some emotions. I was getting worried that you might have gone into a traumatized shock.” Suho gently smiled as he said.

Correction/Suggestion:

“Hmmppp” was all I said.

“Well, at least you laughed and showed some emotions. I was getting worried that you might have gone into a traumatized shock,” Suho gently smiled as he said.

Typos/spelling mistakes, tons of punctuation things, and grammar things that can be fixed by going back to edit and revise.

Plot: (18/20): Very important. Was it interesting? Was it well written? Was I able to get into it or did I start losing interest? Etc.

Interesting.. Although disturbed and irritated by your OC I was still curious as to what would happen next. Even if sometimes the A/N from the previous chapter spoiled it slightly. Could be written better.

Writing Style and Format : (17/20) How was the layout/formatting? Was your style easy to figure out and read? How does it look? Was it professional looking? Etc.

Looks decent. A bit confusing at times but I managed.

Overall Enjoyment: (6.5/10) How much I liked your fic overall.

Total: 69.5/100

BUT WAIT- THERE’S EXTRA CREDIT~! A CHANCE for more points and also a possibility that more points will get taken off…

Characters: (0/3) Were your characters well developed? Did they have a voice to them?

More development needed, a decent amount of voice. But there could be more.

Chapter Titles: (0/2) Did you even have them? Did they go with the chapter? Were they creative?

What was the point of capitalizing every number in the chapter and the heart at the end of each chapter title?

My Feels: (.5/5) What were my reactions to events? Did you get me to laugh, or crack a smile, resist the urge to throw something at the computer screen, cry, etc? All that good stuff. *Note- Points will be taken off if I ever had any “ What the hell did I just read” moments.

You cannot fall madly in love with someone in 3 hours. I was pretty irritated with how your OC was with the whole topic and by chapter 10 I was quite disappointed with Kris too.  The whole SR thing just made me go, " wtf dafuq did I just read?" I'm not even go into what I think about it. Okay okay but I admit I did laugh when I tried to picture Suho going all diva mood.

Twists & Turns + Cliffhangers: (0/2) Did you have them? Were they creative or gasp worthy?

Anything Else: (0/3) Anything else praise worthy or points off?

Notes/ Comments:

If you have the rated M marked for your entire fic, then no need to write out as 'sh*it'.  Things like '* By Bike I meant Motorcycle... but apparently in some country Bike means Bicycle*' should be put in the AUTHOR'S NOTE. Also there's an overuse of Author's Notes. Yes yes I like Kris picture spams but it got annoying after the third chapter or so, plus it ruined the flow of your story.  Author notes should als be at the end of the chapter not at the beginning. Not to mention how some of them were like telling the readers what was going to happen in the next chapter which then made me  not want to read it. I understand it's a bit upsetting when your subscribers don't comment much but you just have to deal with it lol. If they comment they comment and if they don't they don't. Stuff happens. Yeah I admit I was ( and still am) disturbed by the whole SR thing and the reason behind it but at the same time, probably because it is so disturbing ; I'm interested. Yet some people won't, some people might just stop reading the instant Suho starts explaining things or at some other point. I honestly think this could be a decent fic, there just needs some tweeking to be done. Quite a lot to be honest. It's a decent fic as of now but it could be better. I don't really know what else to say. Good job. If you need anything you may PM me ^^

Final Total: 70/100