Report Card - A Secret Love by KyuteukLover and eunhaeaddictor. Chapters 1-35 .

Story Link

Title : (1/2) Was it eye-catching? Does it fit the fic? Would I have clicked on it?

Fits the fic but I personally wouldn't have clicked on it.

Description & Foreword : (0/2) Did it get me curious/interested? Did it give too much information or totally off topic? Was it a proper description and foreword?

I personally think there was WAY too much information. The description was on topic but I felt like it was basically summing up the entire fic for me. As for the foreword, I didn't really .... get it I guess is what I should say. It's up to you but your description is like the back of a book and the foreword is usually either a few words you want to say about the fic before the reader starts reading or like an excerpt from the fic to get the reader curious. I wasn't curious because I pretty much knew what was going to happen.

Originality: (3/5) Was it different from other fics out there? Were you able to make it your own in a way?

Cliches here and there, it was a bit typical.

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (4.5/5) How were things like your background, poster, and font? Did I have trouble reading due to any font ?

Font was fine, poster was fine (although it doesn't seem too fitting) but the background is a bit distracting.

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (3/6) Did you have a wide range in variety with words? Was I able to visualize things in my head easily with your words?

Not much range of words, not much of a picture in my head.

Story Flow: (6/10) Were things going by smoothly or was it confusing and jerky?

It was a bit choppy, when transitioning to a next day, putting the phrase ' The Next Day' is like a chop for the flow.

Grammar, Sentence Fluency, and etc : (3/20) I’m a semi-grammar freak GRAMMAR NAZI so grammar is a big thing for me. Grammar, spelling, and all the good stuff in this section. Except this part of the grading to be stricter. Seriously.  You will lose big points for this. Keep in mind, that deep within , I am probably a grammar dictator. D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R.

I know English isn't your first language so I cut some slack but there was a point where it had to stop.

'One day, Kyuhyun saw Leeteuk, a very tough and mean boy, cried in their room.'

First of all, you already used past tense by saying 'Kyuhyun saw Leeteuk' so the 'cried' should be fixed to 'crying' . The sentence before 'SECRET LOVE' shows up in cap locks has unnecessary commas. Read it over.  Also your sentences are a little clamped together. There's this constant switch between present tense and past tense. Sentences need some tweaking. I'm not going to list all of them but here's a few

'For a reason that I didn't know,I followed him.I tried to stop myself but my legs could not be stop'

I would have revised that sentence to : ' For some reason, I followed him. I tried to stop myself but my legs wouldn't stop.' An even bigger revision I could do is : ' For some reason, I followed him. I tried to stop myself but my legs acted on their own, chasing after the older boy. '

Lots of jumbled sentences. Lots of switching between present and past tense and then something else I noticed. Lots of times due to the switching there's loads of mistakes. For example

'he yells while tears keep on forming in his tears.'

Correct grammar : ' he yelled while tears kept on forming his his eyes.'

All the small mistakes stacking up with almost each sentence I read. I add that all that ^ up there is what I discovered with just the first chapter and description. Honestly, there's so many grammar mistakes and etc. They all just piled up.Also there's a point where you stopped spacing things out properly and spelling mistakes occurred more often.

Anyways moving on. Some of the talking is in the same paragraph when it shouldn't be. Etc etc.

Plot: (15/20): Very important. Was it interesting? Was it well written? Was I able to get into it or did I start losing interest? Etc.

I'm slightly confused with the plot. Like how old our day, why are they all living together, where is this taking place exactly and etc.

Writing Style and Format : (19/20) How was the layout/formatting? Was your style easy to figure out and read? How does it look? Was it professional looking? Etc.

Not exactly professional looking but decent and pretty organized. Thoughts were a bit hard to differentiate from the rest of the test though.

Overall Enjoyment: (7/10) How much I liked your fic overall.

Total: 61.5/100

BUT WAIT- THERE’S EXTRA CREDIT~! A CHANCE for more points and also a possibility that more points will get taken off…

Characters: (0/3) Were your characters well developed? Did they have a voice to them?

Chapter Titles: (0/2) Did you even have them? Did they go with the chapter? Were they creative?

One of them had wrong spelling. It was spelled 'off' instead of  'of'.

My Feels: (0/5) What were my reactions to events? Did you get me to laugh, or crack a smile, resist the urge to throw something at the computer screen, cry, etc? All that good stuff. *Note- Points will be taken off if I ever had any “ What the hell did I just read” moments.

Lots of moments where I kind of rolled my eyes because it was really obvious what was going to happen. Like in the first chapter when Kyuhyun for some strange reason is asking himself questions pretty as if this were a T.V I sat here like, " Kay Kyu baby I know you're going to save him stop asking yourself questions like that." and etc. Although my eyes did widen a bit regarding how Kyuhyun's mom took it all in.

Twists & Turns + Cliffhangers: (0/2) Did you have them? Were they creative or gasp worthy?

Hmm.. Siwon and Kangin but it's not gaspworthy.

Anything Else: (0/3) Anything else praise worthy or points off?

Notes/ Comments:

I understand that maybe I was a bit rough on you for grammar and I get that English isn't your first language, but it's not fair to other authors if I cut you too much slack regarding language. Don't take it hard though. There's lots of common grammar mistakes and the only real big things that seems to be difficult for you are part and present tense. There's a lot of switching between them. English is a hard language and I don't blame you for having those mistakes. I feel bad for people who have to learn English, I don't even know how I grew up to be such a grammar nazi ( English isn't my first language either) haha. Author notes were a bit excessive. I can really connect with how you feel though. This reminds me of when I wrote my very first fanfic on here. I always tried to update fast and update everyday and I felt proud of it, but now? Maybe it's because I think I'm an OCD perfectionist or something but I really regret updating like that. I could have tekn my time to add in more for development for the plot and characters, I could have re read my short chapters to improve, and I could have combined chapters together instead of making them shorter so I could have a bunch of chapters which would most likely lead to more subscribers. Now I'm in the process of figuring out how to edit that 100+ chaptered fic. I don't know how you are but if you're a perfectionist, I suggest taking more time on your chapters and worrying less about how fast you update. If it's a good fic, then your subscribers won't mind the wait because they like it enough for it to be worth it.

On another note, a BIG thankkyu for being patient! Fighting~! : ]

Final Total : 61.5/100