Report Card - The Break-In Mishap by  vampire_gurl0710. Chapters 1-5.

Story Link

Title : (1.5/2) Was it eye-catching? Does it fit the fic? Would I have clicked on it?

Fits, based purely on the title for my own personal tastes, I might have clicked on it.

Description & Foreword : (2/2) Did it get me curious/interested? Did it give too much information or totally off topic? Was it a proper description and foreword?

Interested but at the same time I was kind of like , " ....Alrighty then..."

Originality: (5/5) Was it different from other fics out there? Were you able to make it your own in a way?

Well this sure was something else.. lol

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (3/5) How were things like your background, poster, and font? Did I have trouble reading due to any font ?

Font was freakishly neat but the background was unfitting. In a way 'distracting' and besides the fact that it's Donghae, it doesn't really have to do with anything else in the fic.

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (4/6) Did you have a wide range in variety with words? Was I able to visualize things in my head easily with your words?

I think constantly using the word '' every time was... how shall I phrase it? Unfitting? I think that's the closest I'm going to get on expressing how I feel about it.  Other than that, decent range of words but a blurry picture still.

Story Flow: (9/10) Were things going by smoothly or was it confusing and jerky?

Smooth. You did good use of ending the chapter at certain spots.

Grammar, Sentence Fluency, and etc : (15/20) I’m a semi-grammar freak GRAMMAR NAZI so grammar is a big thing for me. Grammar, spelling, and all the good stuff in this section. Except this part of the grading to be stricter. Seriously.  You will lose big points for this. Keep in mind, that deep within , I am probably a grammar dictator. D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R.

Some punctuation problems, but they're common. Like

' Hyukjae sighed in defeat. "I miss him." ' There should be a comma instead of a period after 'defeat.'  Many occasions it was things like that or something similar like

' "You know why." Changsun held Hyukjae against his chest and whispered to the hair above Hyukjae's ear.  "He thought...." '

There should be a comma after 'why' and 'ear'.

Plot: (15/20): Very important. Was it interesting? Was it well written? Was I able to get into it or did I start losing interest? Etc.

At first I was like bracing myself to read this because I was a bit disturbed for reasons and then I got confused about character relationships. Like I didn't realize Donghae and Changsun knew each other until the 4th chapter and etc etc. Some loose ends still needed to be tied and whatnot.

Writing Style and Format : (20/20) How was the layout/formatting? Was your style easy to figure out and read? How does it look? Was it professional looking? Etc.

Outstandingly neat and professional looking.

Overall Enjoyment: (6.5/10) How much I liked your fic overall.

Total: 81/100

BUT WAIT- THERE’S EXTRA CREDIT~! A CHANCE for more points and also a possibility that more points will get taken off…

Characters: (0/3) Were your characters well developed? Did they have a voice to them?

Some more room for development is needed, along with some voice.

Chapter Titles: (0/2) Did you even have them? Did they go with the chapter? Were they creative?

My Feels: (0/5) What were my reactions to events? Did you get me to laugh, or crack a smile, resist the urge to throw something at the computer screen, cry, etc? All that good stuff. *Note- Points will be taken off if I ever had any “ What the hell did I just read” moments.

Twists & Turns + Cliffhangers: (0/2) Did you have them? Were they creative or gasp worthy?

Anything Else: (0/3) Anything else praise worthy or points off?

Notes/ Comments:

There was also a slight problem with the POV. It was in third person but sometimes it would become Donghae's POV.  Fourth chapter, a few lines before the end of that, read it and see if you can find it. Common grammar mistakes but other than that, grammar was flawless. I don't think there's anything else extra I have to say... Keep up the good work ^^

Final Total: 81/100