Report Card - Hourglass by krystal_24. Chapters 1-11.

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Title : (0/2) Was it eye-catching? Does it fit the fic? Would I have clicked on it?

I personally wouldn't have clicked on it based on just the title and I don't quite see how it fits.

Description & Foreword : (1/2) Did it get me curious/interested? Did it give too much information or totally off topic? Was it a proper description and foreword?

There's no foreword which is okay and I do think it's creative how you did your description. However it's probably just my screen since the resolution got really messed up recently but the words are kinda small. The description gave away about 3/4 of the plot you could have written out and did not get me interested. I think your can just put your first chapter as your foreword since that's pretty much what it is or is serving the same purpose of a foreword but as a 'first' chapter. P.S there's also a typo in the description.

Originality: (4/5) Was it different from other fics out there? Were you able to make it your own in a way?

Hmm.. a bit cliche I guess but it's a bit rare for a fic to be set up totally in predebut days.

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (5/5) How were things like your background, poster, and font? Did I have trouble reading due to any font ?

One of the neatest fics I've read. The background looked weird though

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (3/6) Did you have a wide range in variety with words? Was I able to visualize things in my head easily with your words?

Decent range of words. However absolutely no picture in my head at all. A blurry picture i can barely see no matter how hard I tried to squint.  Mostly when it came to picturing each person though. Scenery was alright. Like for example, I really enjoyed chapter 11 in all honestly, but I couldn't picture it in my head. You said things like 'she looked shocked or scared' and etc but how did she look that way? did her eyes widen, jaw drop, lower lip tremble? Etc.

Story Flow: (8/10) Were things going by smoothly or was it confusing and jerky?

Author's note kept chopping up the flow, but other than that it was pretty smooth.

Grammar, Sentence Fluency, and etc : (13/20) I’m a semi-grammar freak GRAMMAR NAZI so grammar is a big thing for me. Grammar, spelling, and all the good stuff in this section. Except this part of the grading to be stricter. Seriously.  You will lose big points for this. Keep in mind, that deep within , I am probably a grammar dictator. D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R.

'Trying to forget the embarrassment, he turned and walked away, getting all the excitement ran through his body again.'

Okay I don't really know what you're trying to say with this sentence. I'm guessing that for the second part of that sentence you meant to say something like 'all the excitement ran through his body again' or 'getting all the excitement running through his body again'. I'm really not sure what you meant to say. Also I think you're trying to put this into present tense, that's what it seems like.

'But telling him to go back after 2 years because of his age was something he can't stand.'

Tense issue here. Since it's a flashback, a memory it's in past tense, also note that you used was which is passed tense so it should be consistent. Was should be revised to couldn't, read it out loud and see which one you want it to be.

' "Who the hell broke my window!" she said....

She's asking herself a question should it should be a question mark but yet since she's mad and probably shouting this to herself the exclamation point should come after the question mark.

There are actually a lot of tense mistakes I'm unsure about because there's some moments where it switches so I can't really tell what tense you're really trying to write it. In chapter 7 there's a typo right near the beginning. Also sometimes you would have a sentence and then someone talk, separating it with a comma instead of a period.  At first your grammar when it came to dialogue was nearly perfect, excluded some spelling or that little fib i mentioned. But then by the time I got to chapter 7, it got 'worse'.

For example : ' "Did I wake you up?" She started to sound worried. "I'll call again then."

I think that last half is missing some words. but the main mistake here is capitalizing 'she' and the period after worried. This starts happening frequently onwards along with some other grammar issues.

Plot: (15/20): Very important. Was it interesting? Was it well written? Was I able to get into it or did I start losing interest? Etc.

Personally for me, i was bored for most of it and just read it because I had to for the review but chapter 10 got my interests. It's not too interesting, since I pretty much more what's going to happen from the description - not the whole plot but the part you're building up to and etc. Your description kind of just ruined everything since you started right from the beginning of it. Maybe if you started like after everything in your description happened it would have ben fine but right now at the point I'm at, I already know what's going to happen. Right now Krystal isn't going to take Taemin's confession seriously, he'll debut later on, Krystal will grow closer to Kai and then Kai will develop feelings for Krystal. How do I know this? The description gave all that away.

Writing Style and Format : (19/20) How was the layout/formatting? Was your style easy to figure out and read? How does it look? Was it professional looking? Etc.

Neat, professional looking. Nuff said.

Overall Enjoyment: (6.5/10) How much I liked your fic overall.

Total: 74.5/100

BUT WAIT- THERE’S EXTRA CREDIT~! A CHANCE for more points and also a possibility that more points will get taken off…

Characters: (0/3) Were your characters well developed? Did they have a voice to them?

A decent amount of voice to your characters, I could feel how Taemin was feeling during chapter 11 even though it wasn't said. But there's room for development.

Chapter Titles: (0/2) Did you even have them? Did they go with the chapter? Were they creative?

Upon getting to the actual first chapter of the fic, the very first A/N at the beginning is not needed. The main reason is because the chapter title is already titled 'Prolouge', so you don't need to say 'This isn't really the first chapter yet blah blah blah.'

My Feels: (0/5) What were my reactions to events? Did you get me to laugh, or crack a smile, resist the urge to throw something at the computer screen, cry, etc? All that good stuff. *Note- Points will be taken off if I ever had any “ What the hell did I just read” moments.

.... Was it really necessary to make the third chapter a chapter with the only text being 'PART  I' in a big font?

Twists & Turns + Cliffhangers: (0/2) Did you have them? Were they creative or gasp worthy?

For now you can't really do much of this and that with it because it's all given away in the description.

Anything Else: (0/3) Anything else praise worthy or points off?

Notes/ Comments:

Upon getting to the actual first chapter of the fic, the very first A/N at the beginning is not needed. The author's note at the end isn't really needed either. The constant author notes at the end of each chapter should be taken off once you update a few more chapters because then they just sit there and ruin the flow of your fic. I've pretty much said everything I've needed to say at some other part of this report card. Keep up the good work.

Final Total: 74.5/100