Report Card -Our Personal Arithmetic by Ataraxy. Chapters 1-3.

Story Link

Title : (1/2) Was it eye-catching? Does it fit the fic? Would I have clicked on it?

Fits, wouldn't have clicked on it though.

Description & Foreword : (1/2) Did it get me curious/interested? Did it give too much information or totally off topic? Was it a proper description and foreword?

Decent description. Forward was quite nice besides the grammar mistakes.

Originality: (3.5/5) Was it different from other fics out there? Were you able to make it your own in a way?

Hm... well there are some cliches in it (Sehun's past, so and so is like this but then this person walks into their life and does this, etc) but I personally felt like you were able to make it your own. In a way. Although I think making it in present tense rather than past was your own little touch since most fics are written in past tense.

Overall Appearance/Neatness: (4/5) How were things like your background, poster, and font? Did I have trouble reading due to any font ?

Neat. Random change of font on chapter two. I'm just going to guess that it showed which author wrote it...?

Word Choice & Descriptiveness: (4.5/6) Did you have a wide range in variety with words? Was I able to visualize things in my head easily with your words?

Nice range of words. Picturing things at some parts were good but at others not.

Story Flow: (8/10) Were things going by smoothly or was it confusing and jerky?

A bit choppy. But fairly smooth.

Grammar, Sentence Fluency, and etc : (15/20) I’m a semi-grammar freak GRAMMAR NAZI so grammar is a big thing for me. Grammar, spelling, and all the good stuff in this section. Except this part of the grading to be stricter. Seriously.  You will lose big points for this. Keep in mind, that deep within , I am probably a grammar dictator. D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R.

“Sehun.” Mr Park’s rough voice descends into his ear, and...

Period should be a comma. Also it should be 'Mr.Park'.

because mathematics and him does not click.

...Here, I’ll give you his contact.” His teacher...

his should be lowercase. Also the comma mistake is appearing often.

'The first impression he gets from his new tutor was, ‘what the hell, I thought my new tutor was a guy?’' To me this sentence seems/sounds weird. Or more like it could be revised 'better'.

'Luhan looks a lot like a girl, he has light brown hair with a few lighter shades here and there, neat rows of silky bangs that frames his pretty coffee brown eyes. His eyelashes are creepily long, and he has really pale, chubby, and supple skin, perfecting it even more with his bubble gum pink pouty lips.' I feel like this wasn't the right way to describe Luhan. My suggestion would just be:

Luhan looks a lot like a girl. He has light brown hair with a few lighter shades here and there, neat rows of silky bangs that frame his pretty coffee brown eyes. His eyelashes are creepily long, and he has really pale, chubby, and supple skin, perfecting it even more with his bubble gum pink pouty lips

or even

Luhan looks a lot like a girl with his light brown hair that has(or had) a few lighter shades here and there, neat rows of silky bangs that framed his pretty coffee brown eyes. His eyelashes are long in a creepy manner along with his really pale, chubby, and supple skin. Perfecting his face even more with his bubble gum pink pouty lips

'he place a piece of paper with a' Since it's present tense then it should be places.

'because Sehun life is black and' It's Sehun's life.

“The 2 properties of congruent figures are, all corresponding angles are equal, and all corresponding sides are equal. It’s pretty easy and simple, you just got to spot the two triangles, here let me teach you how.” Run on sentences, read it out loud and see if you can read it like that, then decide on if you like it.

'Luhan laughs a little (did Sehun ever mention how Luhan’s gay laughter sounds a lot like chimes?) before digging into his purple (do you see how the color purple suitshim a lot because Luhan is really gay) backpack and took out a milk flavor lollipop. ' I feel like f it's in third person the parentheses shouldn't be there since typically it's for side comments. If this were in Sehun's POV then it could work.  It makes it choppy too.

'Sehun PMS like a , and it irritates him sometimes because his irritation is irritating and the fact that he is irritated at every single irritating thing irritates himself so deep until it irritates his bones.' That first bit of the sentence seems incomplete.

The question strikes a sensitive, and vulnerable chord inside his heart, but being a determine and cool as a cucumber boy he is, he brushes it off, like a stray melody and replies. “They are busy.”

Should be a comma after replies, that sentence is a bit of a mouthful too. Run on sentence.

As time goes by, and his math grades went up, Sehun got to know his math tutor better, learns more about his annoying traits, one of it, is his immerse liking towards bubble tea.

Suggestion because it's a run on sentence again :

As time goes by, his math grades went up. Sehun got to know his math tutor better. He learns more about his annoying traits, one of them being his immerse liking towards bubble tea.

Note the 'it' should be them or these because traits are plural.

'Luhan is late, and that is weird, because he is never late.' This sentence could flow better. Suggestion : Luhan is late, and that's strange. Luhan is never late.

"...Why don’t they get punish?" Luhan is talking so this should be past tense, Sehun's 'punish' after this sentence should be too.

'pages and pages of research from google' The G in Google should be capitalized.

'he wraps his skinny arms around Luhan torso' Let me ask you, whose torso is it? lol.

All other mistakes are like these. Quite common, wasn't long before I ran into a grammar mistake as I read.

Plot: (16/20): Very important. Was it interesting? Was it well written? Was I able to get into it or did I start losing interest? Etc.

Had a decent amount of my interest and decently written.

Writing Style and Format : (18/20) How was the layout/formatting? Was your style easy to figure out and read? How does it look? Was it professional looking? Etc.

Neat formatting. Decent looking. Overall, good.

Overall Enjoyment: (8/10) How much I liked your fic overall.

Total: 79/100

BUT WAIT- THERE’S EXTRA CREDIT~! A CHANCE for more points and also a possibility that more points will get taken off…

Characters: (0/3) Were your characters well developed? Did they have a voice to them?

Hmm more development, some loose ends to be tied, more voices to be heard.

Chapter Titles: (0/2) Did you even have them? Did they go with the chapter? Were they creative?

My Feels: (0/5) What were my reactions to events? Did you get me to laugh, or crack a smile, resist the urge to throw something at the computer screen, cry, etc? All that good stuff. *Note- Points will be taken off if I ever had any “ What the hell did I just read” moments.

Twists & Turns + Cliffhangers: (0/2) Did you have them? Were they creative or gasp worthy?

Anything Else: (1/3) Anything else praise worthy or points off?

Writing in present tense.

Notes/ Comments:

Although I think it's nice that your fic is written in present tnese thus making it unique, I think it would be better off written in past tense. Also I think it would be nice to write it in Sehun's POV but these all all just suggestions. Lots of small grammar mistakes that just need to be re-read and edited. Overall, a nice fic. Keep up the good work ^^

Final Total: 80/100