EDIT: Read this font in a documentary-scientist-like-voice.

"Yah."

Minho stood in the doorway of his and Jonghyun's bedroom.

"Why is everybody in our room?"

This is an examination. We are currently observing five male creatures in their natural habitat. The creature we may call "Minhous-Flamingess-Charismattan" seems to display dominance in this environment, although he is not the oldest. We shall now observe these delicate beings and their activities.

Onew was on Jonghyun's laptop. Kibum and Taemin were reading manhwa on Minho's bed. Jonghyun was sitting on the floor, listening to his mp3 player.

"Well," Kibum looked up from his book. "Your room is bigger than our living room. It's nice."

"It looks incredibly small now that we're all in it." Minho grabbed his socks from his drawer.

"Where are you going?" the leader asked.

"Gym."

And then there were four.

"Oh~ It looks like Super Junior-sunbaes are doing well." Onew said.

"What were they promoting again? Yo?" Kibum questioned.

"It's Yo-Yo, Kibum." 

Taemin sighed. "It's called ‘U’, hyungs."

The youngest creature, "Taeminiss-Maknaess-attus", seems to display slight signs of annoyance towards his elders. He may be the cub of the pride, but it is well known that he has more brains than some other three creatures combined.

Fun fact: "Taeminiss-Maknaess-attus" is a species of fungi.

Taemin's phone rang in his pocket. "Hello? Oh, it's you. Nothing much. Huh? ...Right now? Eh, fine, fine. I'll be right down." He hung up.

"Who was that?" Onew asked.

"Jongin wants to hang out. I'll be back in... I don't know, he just drags me wherever." Taemin replied. "See you guys later!"

And then there were three.

Onew glanced at his stomach, then at Kibum.

"I'm hungry." he said, in a small voice.

Kibum raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"So... Let's go buy chicken."

"Buy it by yourself."

"..."

In a time of need, or any other time, the creature that is called "Kibumish-Almightyus-Divanite", ignorantly denies any request asked of him. This creature is thought to be cold-blooded, but is also what the Japanese call "Tsundere".

At this very moment, the "Jinkious-Dubunous Chicken" is searching for food. Survival is trival for this species of chicken.

Fun fact: "Jinkious-Dubunous Chickens" are cannibals.

Onew sighed. "Hm... There's nothing in the kitchen except for kimchi ingredients... I guess I'll go grocery shopping then."

Kibum picked up another book. "Go ahead."

"Can you come with m-" 

"No."

And then there were two.

Jonghyun pulled an ear bud out of his ear. He glanced around a bit.

"Where did everyone go?"

As demonstrated here, the final creature, "Jonghyunus-Blingin-Blingin", displays zero interest in other animal's activities and behaviors.

Except for its prey.

Fun fact: The "Jonghyunus-Blingin-Blingin" is the modern form of the prehistoric Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"They all left." Kibum continued flipping pages.

Jonghyun stood up and stretched. "Ah... I'm hungry. You want some kimchi, Kibum?"

"Huh? Oh, sure."

--

The two of them sat in front of each other in the kitchen.

Jonghyun set the plate of fresh kimchi on the table. “Time to eat~!” he chimed.

"Thank you for the food~” Kibum started to pick through the dish with his chopsticks until he found a radish.

We are witnessing the “Jonghyunus-Blingin-Blingin” luring in its national prey, the “Kibumish-Almightyus-Divanite”.

“Kim. Kibum. Kim. Jonghyun. Eating Kim. Chi.” Jonghyun joked.

Kibum scoffed, and started nibbling on his radish.

Then he started crying.

Jonghyun looked up. “Are you crying because my food’s delicious?”

“I’M CRYING BECAUSE IT’S TOO SPICY!” the other yelled, and threatened to throw his chopsticks at him.

“Really?” Jonghyun ripped off a piece of cabbage and ate it. “It’s not that spicy.”

Jonghyun got up and got Kibum a glass of water, not before Kibum kicking him a couple of times under the table.

“Aish… How many peppers did you use?!” Kibum scolded, while eating and drinking at the same time.

“I only used a little bit. A couple. Some.” Jonghyun continued eating. “…A lot.”

The prehistoric T-Rex’s brain was larger than a human brain, but it has evolved into a “Jonghyunus-Blingin-Blingin” over the years… And so the brain has evolved into the size of a nut.

“Sheesh. Next time, I’M cooking.”

“Okay, honey.”

--

The two of them returned to Minho and Jonghyun’s room after eating. Jonghyun jumped into Minho’s bed instead of his own.

“Ah~” He rolled around on it. “Why is this bed more comfortable than mine~?”

“It is pretty comfy.” Kibum picked up his manhwas off the floor and stacked them on Minho’s nightstand.

Kibum sat on the edge of Minho’s bed and continued reading his manhwa.

Before long, Jonghyun fell asleep.

The “Jonghyunus-Blingin-Blingin” seems to have forgotten about its prey. It has fallen asleep waiting for the right moment to attack. Truly, the brain of a Jonghyunus-Blingin-Blingin is the size of a pistachio.

Kibum looked behind him as soon as he heard Jonghyun’s soft snoring. He put his book on top of the others on the nightstand, and crawled over Jonghyun’s sleeping body.

He always liked looking at Jonghyun’s face, and it even looked beautiful when he was asleep.

His silky hair, his thick eyebrows, his long lashes…

His lips.

Kibum shook his head. “No, Kibum. Just admire his face. Don’t do anything else… To him.”

After a few minutes of staring, Jonghyun shifted in his sleep. He switched to lying on his back, moved his arms around, and… his lips.

Kibum gulped. “Don’t do anything to lips- I mean, Jonghyun.” He slapped himself.

Those lips…

He found himself millimeters away from the other’s face.

He couldn’t help himself; his hormone levels were… high.

As mentioned before, the Kibumish-Almightyus-Divanite is the national prey of the Jonghyunus-Blingin-Blingin. However, at this very moment, it seems as the Jonghyunus-Blingin-Blingin is being attacked instead! The prey has become the predator; THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MOMENT IN ECOLOGICAL HISTORY.

Kibum smacked his own lips to Jonghyun’s. They still had that spicy kimchi taste from earlier. Kibum normally hated that taste, but on his lips… Kim Jonghyun’s lips, he savoured that taste so much.

“Nnn…” Kibum was startled by Jonghyun’s mumbling. “…Key…”

“Why does he keep saying that? So weird.”

Then he heard the doorknob jiggle. Kibum flew off Jonghyun, and landed in the chair in front of Jonghyun’s laptop.

Minho opened the door. “I’m back…” He looked at the laptop screen. “What are you looking at?”

Kibum glanced at the screen.

“Pictures of roasted chicken, apparently.”

a/n: omg i'm so hilarious 

In case you didn't know, Jongin = Exo's Kai. But I'm sure you knew that ^^

Huh, I wanna eat kimchi now.,, Though I can't handle spicy food anyways. 

YES, I know SHINee in the chapter pic does not match the actual chapter animals. --" 

Kimchi kiss~ >o<