". . . Action, this ain't a movie . . ."

". . . Raw, true, the real me . . ."

". . . Pressed down on all fours . . ."

"Fight back, the world,

it's yours."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My sister. My brother. My best friends.

The boy I fell in love with. My first love. Can I hold on any tighter? If I do he might melt like snow and slip through my fingers. Fingers which had threaded themselves through his countless of times.

Or should I loosen my hand, let his butterfly wings expand, and let his delicate life take flight?

The boy who fell in love with me. Who I turned away but still hurt for. My dear friend – or my enemy?

And what of my family, the one that I adopted into my heart, into the ingrains of my lifestyle, into the fabric of my timeline?

Three months that bloomed and blossomed and flowered – it's only expected that the petals would fall sooner than later, even as I had wished for the latter. Truthfully, I pushed the notion away entirely. I hoped that it would always be springtime for this bliss.

I'm sixteen. I'm only starting out. When I felt the current of freedom, saw the barrier of the canal lifted, knew that I was about to be let free into the ocean of experience and knowledge that I craved, I propelled myself at full speed out of the hands that had graciously and gently lowered me into the forgiving water. My parents.

Why did I start out so fast?

If I hadn't, would I have ended up with my dear friend who fell in love with me? The one who probably shouldn't be so dear to me?

If I hadn't, would I have loved her and her and him and that person over there?

If I hadn't,

If I hadn't

. . . would I have been happy?

Would he?

But most importantly, would SHE even be someone left for me to envision in the future?