Resonance soft breathing hit your forehead and the comforting warmth of another body touched your skin causing you to stir reflexively. A smile collapsed over your face as you snuggled deeper into your pillow and closer to the body, feeling too contented to open your eyes. You didn’t recall sleeping beside Minji, but maybe you were just too worn out and had forgotten. Whatever the reason was, it felt great.

“Ji Ji ah…” You called out quietly and reached over to search for her. “Are you still sleep—” A wave of shock shot through you when your hand landed on a firm chest, five times the size of Minj’s.

What the…?

Your eyes fluttered open rapidly only to be greeted by a handsome and robusted sleeping face.

Kai’s sleeping face.

 “W-WH—” Your hand clasped over your mouth abruptly to prevent yourself from screaming.

His face was a mere centimeter apart from yours; eyes tautly shut, plump lips slightly parted, and not a single budge came from his still figure.

He’s asleep.

While you sat up and hastily scooted closer to edge of the sofa, far away from Kai as possible, your heart thumped in rickety panic; guts coiled sorely inside your stomach. The saliva in your mouth desiccated and your mind ran wildly, unable to process his presence.

This is a dream. You shut your eyes and began to pinch your arm. “Come on, wake up. Wake. Up.” You whispered almost pleadingly. “You idiot wake—”

“Stop that.” Kai gripped your hand firmly as he slowly opened his eyes to see you jump in startle. “Haven’t you had enough bruises?” He shot you a disapproving look.

“K-Kai, you’re supposed to be in Hong Kong.” You tried pulling back, but he doesn’t let go. “Why are you—what are you doing here?”

“Sleeping, what else?” He replied indifferently allowing his eyelids to descend again.

“You’re saying you skipped your performance just to come here and sleep?” Your voice came out disgruntled not believing him one bit.

“Mmhm.”

“You’re insane.”

“If you say so.”

 “Kai, you can’t be here.”

“I know.”

“Then leave.”

“I will.”

You groan irritably disliking his casual, worry free tone of voice. He continued to keep his eyes shut, yet held tightly onto your arm at the same time. You scowled.

“Right now.” A hissed left your lips as you glared at him. With your other hand, you used it to pry his fingers off your arms.

“You’ll get caught—this will end up on the news…Kai let go—”

He directly grabbed both your wrist and pulled you forcefully back down causing your head to crush roughly ontop of his chest. “Be quiet. You talk too much.”

“Aish!” You yelped lifting your head off of him, but he pressed it back down at once. He raised a finger up to your lips to zip you up. “Shh.”

Right when you opened your mouth to argue back, several knocks came from the door, alarming the both of you.

“Miss Yang, are you in there?” The doctor called from outside Minji’s room. Your head shot up quickly as you averted your gaze from the door to Kai. In a frantic mess, you pulled your hand away from his grip and scrambled off the sofa. He calmly sat there and watched as you stumbled clumsily about.

“Hide! You have to hide!” You grabbed his hand and tried to haul him up, but he doesn’t move a muscle.

“Why do I need to hide?” Kai raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like I’m a criminal.”

“Trust me, you’re worse than that.” You hissed and he gaped at you feeling a bit affended.

“Miss Yang?”

“Y-Yes! Just a moment!”

You bit your lip and turned to look at him with panic written over your face. “Kai, jaebal! Balleewa!” He rolled his eyes and finally gave in allowing you to drag him behind the curtains.

“I’m starting to think you’re just embarrassed to be seen with me. There’s nothing wrong with me being here.” He pouted vaguely surprising you. You couldn’t help, but muffled back a small chuckle at his random behavior.

“Trust me. It’s for your own sake.” You smiled. “You’ll thank me later.” He only frown and crossed his arms.

“My sake or yours? This isn’t fair—”

“Don’t make a sound, araso?” You lifted your pointy finger up to your lips then pulled the curtains around him.

*So much for coming here.* Kai thought somewhat upset. It didn’t bother him whether or not he was seen by people anymore. You were more important and he didn’t mind being part of your life even if that meant exposing it to everyone. What was there to hide? Neither Kai nor the rest of Exo has ever thought about keeping you a secret. You aren’t a secret. He realized it was you all along who has been overly cautious.

He leaned his back against the wall with a foot pressed upon it and his head tilted upwards. Second thoughts brought him back to reality when he reflected about your safetly. *If she’s seen with me, she’d be the one who will get hurt. She would go through more than just hell.*

Kai clenched his fist realizing he was being selfish all along. Wanting nothing more than to be closer to you was asking for too much. In this case, he couldn’t do anything about it because no matter how greatly he wanted to protect you, he didn’t have that ability. There were too many limitations.

“Anneyonghaesayo.” You forced a smile and bowed politely to the doctor.

“Good afternoon Miss Yang.” He shook your hand as the two of you walked over to Minji’s beside. “There are a few things I would like to inform you about Minji’s condition—”

You nervously fiddled with your fingers hoping to take the conversation outside, but you had no way to approach it. A glance over at Kai and you knew he was listening intently behind the curtains.

“After going over her CAT scan and test results, we found that her white blood cells are increasing at an extremely rapid pace. Before we start her chemotherapy in a few days, we would like all her family members to come in and do a quick blood test. The best match for her would result in a more successful surgery as well. I’m sorry to ask, but are you her only family member?”

“I-I am…” Your voice shook.

The doctor let out a sympathetic sigh. “Then it’s going to be hard to find the right donor for her.”

“No, mine would definitely match her.” You looked at him instantly shaking your head. “Please, I’ll do the test. I’ll do anything…whatever it is, I can do it.”

“Of course, we will try.” He nodded understandingly yet, you saw hesitation in his expression. “But I can’t guarantee that you both share the same blood.” He flipped through a few pages of paper on his clipboard then paused. “It says here that you are her legal guardian, her mother—”

Somehow, you’ve been holding in your breath the entire time sweat gliding down your forehead. Your body tensed up while you prayed for the doctor to not reveal anything further, but it was already too late. Your mind raced wildly, hands sweaty, knees weakened when he bluntly let the entire truth rolled right out of his mouth.

“—if that is the case, then there’s a very high percentage. However, your record states that you aren’t her…real mother, just her sister. My apologies, I’m not saying that your blood wouldn’t be of match, but that if you had other relatives to come and test, then there could be an even greater chance to find the right match for Minji.”

“Please, if you do have anyone else in your family that you can contact, have them come in for a test soon as possible.”

You nodded stiffly looking down at your shoes tears threatening to fall any second. The doctor patted your shoulder and gave you a warm smile. “I’ll have the nurse schedule for your blood test.” He said and left.

What were you so worried about? It didn’t matter if Kai knew or not, the only thing that should matter right now was Minji. Curing her and making sure your blood was the right match for her was more important to you at the moment. Even so, you didn’t know why your body was shaking so much.

Minji had a slim chance to live and you weren’t planning to either without her by your side. You held onto the bed’s foot board for support squeezing your eyes shut to prevent tears from spilling. It was the horrible thought that you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to save her; the fact that there was no one else besides you who was her relative.

Once the door shut, Kai immediately pushed the curtains open and stood there gazing at your back. It would be an absolute lie if he told you that he wasn’t listening to your conversation earlier. Shock was no word big enough to describe the overwhelming situation. Knowing the truth about you and Minji was not nearly as surprising as hearing that you had no other family to turn to. His heart ached for you dearly.

He took slow quiet steps towards you then stopped midway. “Na Yeon ah—”

“Kai!” You quickly forced a grin on before turning around to face him. “A-Are you hungry? I’m starving...let’s-lets go get something to eat. Yeah?” You grabbed his hand and began to pull him along.

That rigid, pretend smile you flashed him made his inside turned into knots. Kai wasn’t used to seeing you this way, especially when your smile was your trademark and now that you were forcing your actions, it was only more obvious to him that you were really hurting.

He stiffly followed, but his eyes remained on you. Your fake smile was intantly drowned by a sad empty expression that he has never seen before. He knew you were avoiding everything, trying to hide the pain your heart was receiving. He came to an abrupt halt and placed a hand defiantly onto the door to stop you from opening it.

“W-waeyo?” You looked up startled when Kai blocked your pathway. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door as his sharp eyes bored into you. You avoided his stare by studying the plain white walls with facaded interest. Unnervingly, it seemed like he was reading you line for line and you had no where to secrete.

“You don’t have to do this—.”

“Kai…” Your words came out barely audible. “Mianhaeyo.”

“Muh?” Kai’s gaze softened as he stood up straight not expecting this from you. He only wanted to tell you that everything was going to be alright, but you had cut him off a bit too quick.

“Sorry for lying to you and the others. Minji she’s...”

“I know.” He stood up from the door unfurling his arms.

“Y-you know?”

“Yes.” Kai smiled.

You looked up at him quizzically. “H-How? When?”

“When the doctor ranted you out.” Pabo. He held back a soft chuckle seeing the way you appeared right now. It was a mixture of confusion, child-like innocence, yet there was hopelessness lingering; all of which converged into one. He watched your mouth formed into a small O shape as you turned away shamefully.

“Na Yeon ah,” Your name rolled out of Kai’s mouth like butter. He stood in front of you, head slightly inclined so he could see your face; only to be avoiding him.

“Look at me.” He put a hand on the right side of your cheek. “You had your reason, so don’t be sorry…ever. Whether it was to protect Minji, or yourself, no one has the right to judge you. You don’t have to pretend to be strong all the time you know. It’s ok to let yourself go once in a while.”

You shook your head feebly as your brows creased upward. “Ani. I can’t do that. I’m all she has…and she’s my only family; the only thing that keeps me going day by day and giving me a reason for living. Can you imagine a 4 year old finding out she’s contracted a terminal disease? Because Minji knows I’m not her mom. She knows that she’s really sick…she knows her muscles are getting weak and her breathing is shortening.—”

“—When we’re taking short strolls down the hall, she doesn’t want to get tired out quickly so she’d make me hold her. These past days she’s sleeping so often and I tell myself she’s just bored and would rather nap. I keep saying, ‘it’s not a big deal’, but I’m the one who doesn’t want to believe it and refuse to because I want her to continue to show me that she isn’t sick. I selfishly want her to keep staying healthy when it’s out of her control. Kai, if I let myself go I won’t be able to get back up when she needs me most. I don’t want her to see me fall…”

Heart throbbing, his world collapsing, Kai crushed you into his warm embrace. Every word that you spoke sent daggars into him. You were verbally and unconsciously draining every inch of his energy with your vulnerability that has been lost; deeply hidden all this time behind your mask. More than he wanted from you, he hated to see it breaking and you….were breaking his heart.

“It’s ok…” He cooed into your ears. “Minji’s going to be fine and everything would be the same again. You’re not going to lose her and she’s not ever leaving you.” He your hair, eyes shut tightly. God, if only he could take away your pain, he’d do it within a heart beat. I’m so sorry, Na Yeon ah. If keeping you safe, away from harms way was something he had promised, he wasn’t doing it right.

“We can be your family. You have me and…and…the rest of the guys here so you’re never going to be alone again. We’ll be by your side, always. Don’t forget that.”

Without protesting, you burried your face into his chest not allowing a single tear to escape. You knew you needed this. For the longest time since forever, you had noone to lean onto and right now, you were given that chance. If being with Kai for just this moment could calm the thrashing of your beaten soul, you’d treasure every second of it even if he was only trying to comfort you.

Don’t hold back your tears. You can cry…cry on me. He silently urged you, but you stubbornly held it in. You had more than your fair share of responsibilies, the weight of the universe on your shoulders and every bit of burden that you could possibly handle was slowly crushing you. More so, watching you go through this was leisurely killing him as well.

The touch of your body against his, closer than ever before could only make his knees weak, but his hold, tighter. He inhaled in your scent effectionally, curling strands of hair behind your ear. Perfect. That’s how you felt in his arms.

 “I-I’ll have to tell the others too…about Minji. I hope they’ll understand. F-forgive me.”

“Only when you’re ready.” Kai found you awefully cute stuttering and fumbling for words out of complete embarrassment. You weren’t very good trying not to be obvious. Pabo.

“Kai, you should g-go. Y-you…have…have..” You pulled back stuttering for vocabularies only winding up in a tongue twist. Face red, sweaty palms, you’ve never felt so out of place, or more like embarrassed. Unsteady heartbeats made your head woozy. You shunned away from meeting his eyes afraid to be noticed.

Before you continued, he instantly cupped your face in his hands slightly leaning down to meet your dazzling blues. “I’ll go…only if you promise not to ever see us off at the airport again whether we or not we forgot something important. Well, only if you want Chanyeol hyung to pass out for worrying like a madman about you.” Kai searched for a reply from you, a smile forming across his face.

You nodded mouthing words of apologies. It wasn’t in your intentions to be there or to make them worry. You knew you had a lot of explaining and assuring to do when they get back.

“Na Yeon ah,” Kai softly said your name; only this time it sounded so right and flawless, like it was made just for him to say. “Remember, you’re not alone.”

And this time, you knew he meant it.

~~~

First of all,  i want to thank all of you for still sticking by and reading my aweful boring story that takes me forever to update.  I'm so sorry. School started as well, so it will continue to be slow like this. I really need to get my head straight and focus on my school work because college is not easy at all. I love you all so very much and forgive me for not replying to your wonderful comments! I WON'T BE ABANDONING THIS STORY. It might take me longer to update only. <3 <3 <3