22. Vitam Post Mutatio

 

Vitam Post Mutatio: "Life After Change"

 

 

 

"I'm set on redefining myself..."

 

 

She leaves him for a vitam post mutatio.

 

 

"... and not even you can stop me."

 

 

 

= = = Soundtrack: B2ST - Easy [Original] = = =

 

 

Taemin smiled as he looked at the SkullBeaters retreating from the battlefield, affirming the victory of the ReapedSouls throughout the seige at Club Mirage. He was pretty sure that those people won't be back for a while... unless they have gotten an ace against his brotherhood.

 

He surely was ecstatic to celebrate with Shirin.

 

But when he looked at the faces of his brothers still standing, and he couldn't see any woman in the battlefield, his happiness turned to worry.

 

"Has anyone seen Shirin-ah?!" He cried out to all the men remaining, but they shook their heads as a reply, and that worried him even more.

 

Without thinking of anything else besides the Song Sister, he ran out of Club Mirage's premises, dark thoughts clouding his mind.

 

Could Shirin-ah be taken by the SkullBeaters? That could be the case, but it would be impossible for her to not put up a resistance if that ever happens, especially now that she is already knowledgeable about fighting. It couldn't be that she died either. If she did, then I would have been alerted by anybody from her or my subgroup, as that was my instruction to every single one of the men who went with me to the battle.

 

She could've went out of the premises by herself, then.

 

But what for?

 

His question was immediately answered after he took a few steps away from the war area and saw a close hyung of his kneeling on the ground of an unnocupied lot beside the club. He was sobbing loudly, and tears were rolling down his cheeks.

 

"Chanho Hyung?" He asked, making the male look up at his figure.

 

"Taemin-ah..." He began, and a ominous kind of feeling invaded his system when Chanho opened his mouth to speak.

 

This couldn't be good.

 

"She left..."

 

Shock gripped Taemin and he clutched at his heart as the preliminary wave of pain washed through him. His face contorted in confusion, and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He knew for sure that this statement was about Shirin. There's no other girl that the Song Brothers are close to except for her.

 

"What do you mean 'She Left'?!" He exclaimed, anger seeping into his bloodstream. He took the opportunity and grabbed the second leader by the collar, not minding that the person before him was higher than him in age and in ranking.

 

"She knew about something that wasn't hers to know... the fact that she isn't really a Song... And it affected her badly... She knew about the truth... And she left..." Chanho said brokenly, momentarily stopping because of the sobs that had taken over him.

 

Taemin was greatly shocked as he understood what his Hyung was saying, but he released him anyway and took him by the shoulder, leading him back into his car.

 

"I'm going to your house right now, Hyung-ah. I'll just make Changjo-yah or any of the others drive your car back. You should have a rest for tonight." He muttered as he started the engine and drove away. He might be washed over by anger at that moment, but he couldn't deny that fact that this man was still his leader in the brotherhood, and his hyung in age no less. He had to take care of him, too.

 

When they arrived at the Song House, however, they were not prepared for the scene that awaited them.

 

"Seunghyun Hyung! What's happening with you?!"

 

Taemin shouted as his eyes took in the form of the ReapedSouls leader slumped on the ground by the house gate, which was surprisingly open. Chanho silently followed him as he went out of Taemin's car, fresh tears b over from his eyes as he saw his brother's state.

 

"She even left the house now, huh?" were the words that had escaped from the ReapedSouls' second leader before a fist landed on his jaw.

 

Seunghyun huffed his breaths, tears now staining his cheeks as his younger brother fell on the ground, clutching at his chin.

 

"Damn you, Chanho-yah! What have you done?!" Seunghyun screamed at Chanho, his hands still balled into fists. The latter did not say anything, only letting even more of his tears flow.

 

Taemin had just had enough of it.

 

Without saying anything, he took off in his car, rushing to find that one person he couldn't take being without.

 

Shirin-ah... just where are you?!

 

= = =

 

"Are you just gonna stand there, Shirin-ah?" Kai-sshi's voice snapped me out of my daze, and I shook my head, as if it could shake the derailment away. I hesitantly took a step towards him, who was just standing behind the opened door of his car.

 

"Come on, I don't bite..." He said softly, jokingly, but I felt my insides tense just a little bit with every step towards him.

 

I guess my moves were too slow because soon after, Kai-sshi walked towards me before taking my travel bag from my hands. He proceeded to the side of the car, where he opened a door beside the passenger's side and placed it in. He then went back to me, not saying anything, but just looking at me softly.

 

"Why...?" I couldn't help but ask him, letting my eyes meet his gaze.

 

"Well, I figured that you would leave everything behind after the bombshell that Chanho guy dropped on you, and that you'd have no place to go. What is a man like me to do when there is help needed by an angel like you?" He replied, smiling at me as he finished his sentence.

 

I don't know what the heck came over me, but I just caught myself wrapping my arms around Kai-sshi's figure and letting my tears loose once more.

 

"Thank you, Kai-sshi. I fear you... but at the same time, I'm grateful to you. Thank you so much."

 

When he embraced me back like I was a precious person, I found myself succumbing to reality.

 

I should change already and not just leave what is of the past. I should start anew. Maybe I could keep the name, but not the ientity. I could just live my life again... without anything related to the Song Brothers or ReapedSouls.

 

I could still go to school, perhaps. But I guess I'll just finish it just so that I could graduate. That might very well be the last thing I'd take with me from my old self. The possible fact that I'll be graduating the top student of my batch in University.

 

"If you want to change, I could help you. You'd just have to say the word, and I could help you leave everything..." Kai-sshi softly whispered his offer to my ear, and I pulled back from his kind gesture with a new resolve building in my heart.

 

"Kai-sshi, I..." I began to say, but the sound of screeching tires behind me witheld me from saying more.

 

"Shirin-ah!" A too-familiar voice followed, and I felt all confidence in my body leave me. 

 

I just slowly turned around to face Taemin-ah's expression emanating a mixture of worry, fear, and confusion.

 

"Shirin-ah, don't go! Even if you're not really a Song sister, stay!" He said again, before braving a few steps towards my direction. He held my hand and let silence take over us, his huffs of breath the only audible sound in my surroundings.

 

"Shirin-ah, I'll just be inside my car. If ever you decide to continue the pretense of the past with the ReapedSouls, then so be it. Get your travel bag from behind your seat and go." Kai-sshi said suddenly before walking away and opening his door, getting inside the car and waiting.

 

"Taemin-ah... please. Don't make this harder than it already is.." I began to say, but I just felt myself being enclosed in Taemin-ah's arms, his sobs by my ear.

 

"No. Please. Don't go. You could just stay with me. You can just be with me while letting yourself get better..." He pleadingly told me, his voice breaking in some places due to crying.

 

"I can't, Taemin-ah. Do you think I could let myself get better when I'm still being haunted by the fragments of the identity that was never mine in the first place?" I asked him, making an effort to break away from his embrace. I succeeded, and for that, I was thankful.

 

"I've decided the moment I walked out of the Song's House that I would begin leaving all of this behind. As harsh as it might sound... that includes you. You might be a very close person to my heart right now, you might be a good friend of mine... but you cannot deny that you're a part of the pretense persona that I lived with in the past. I have to leave." I explained to him, waiting for his approval, but he wouldn't say anything.

 

It killed me inside to see Taemin-ah like this. For the past few days that I've been letting him show his love for me, I've been really moved by how caring he was to me. Maybe if I had looked into it, I might even have had some feelings for him somewhat.

 

But with this reality that I needed to face, I don't think I could just let someone like Taemin-ah ruin my resolve.

 

I've grown contempt for who I was, for I had been used and lied to. I had been betrayed.

 

I couldn't bring myself to go back to something I hate... nor could I take it being away from people who are important to me.

 

But when it all boils down to nothing, I would rather I leave those I love that immerse myself in the life that I now detest.

 

"I'm sorry, Taemin-ah. But now, not even you can stop me from the rebirth that waits for me when I get away from all of you ReapedSouls members and leaders."

 

It burned me when I said it, but I had already made my choice. If it takes a new brotherhood and a new identity to get away from the hurt, then I'll take it.

 

I turned away from Taemin-ah's crestfallen look and jogged towards Kai-sshi's passenger door, hurriedly getting inside the vehicle and extricating myself completely from the final remainder of my past identity.

 

"Let's leave, Kai-sshi. Where are we going again?"

 

= = = = = = 

 

IMPORTANT NOTE:

 

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