October  5

Parting with Jessica was harder than I had thought. Like Hyoyeon, Jessica tried to change my mind but I had already decided. When she finally accepted that I was leaving she offered me as much advise as she could about Kyuhyun. Thanks to the talk I had with her I feel much better. At least I have a general idea of what to expect.

Jessica also made me promise her that I would keep in touch but I was planning on doing that anyway. Apart from Hyoyeon she is the only person I have grown to trust and I am happy that she sees me as one of her friends as well.

Despite Jessica's encouragement I’m nervous. Tomorrow is my first day at work. I don’t even know if I should go to the Parliament House or the Prime Minister’s Mansion. Kyuhyun never mentioned my schedule or what my tasks include and Jessica couldn’t offer more information apart from the standard things that everybody asks.

I am so anxious that I can barely sit still. I spent most of my day after I left my office, (well, former office) walking aimlessly around the city. I have already seen everything there is to see but the masochist inside me asks for more pain and grief.

Even though it’s still autumn, the cold is no joke. Especially today, it was a day of gale winds. The low temperature was making me shiver despite all the warm clothes I was wearing. We will probably have white Christmas this year.

I saw a beggar today. Because of the icy wind I was one of the few lonely souls wondering the city and like the others I made sure to walk fast to keep myself as warm as possible. It comes as no surprise that I didn’t expect to see somebody sitting at the edge of the street all alone. I stopped at my tracks and observed him for a while. He wasn’t moving and by the way his head was hanging I got worried that he was unconscious.

 I was about to go closer when a group of guys turned the corner and ran to him. I thought they were trying to help him but I should have known better. Nobody cares about people like him or even people like me. Those boys just beat him up, stole the few things he had and left him there to die.

I wanted to help him but one of them looked at me and his threatening gaze left me no other choice. If I tried to stop them, or I tried to help him I’d be in trouble too – maybe worse than that guy. But still I didn’t want to leave him like that.

I think my compassion and my sympathy to others is what makes me different than people like those boys. I think that caring for others is the only reason I can judge Kyuhyun’s actions so clearly and I haven’t become like Nicole and Narsha. I care about others, not because I know them but because, like me, they are human. We came to this world in the same way and we will also leave the same way. We breathe the same air, we live on the same planet and we have the same problems to face. I don’t understand how somebody can forget about all of this stuff and treat other’s like they are inferior.

I didn’t dare get closer to him but I did the next best thing. I took off my jacket and threw it as close to him as I could. I was lucky enough for it to land on his legs. I saw his bloody, bruised hand reach for it and he weakly covered his body to protect himself from the cold.

I don't know if i'll ever see him again. I don't even know if he'll make it through the night, but I do know this – tonight he’ll be a little bit warmer than yesterday.

October 6

How I managed to fall asleep last night is beyond me. I had thought that I would stay up all night imagining all the possible scenarios but I guess I was too exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to do anything else but sleep like I was dead until I had to get up and go to work.

Fortunately, Kyuhyun’s previous secretary, that old woman who had come to offer me the job in the first place, was waiting for me in front of the building. She didn’t look very pleased that I eventually got her job but as she explained to me “her ladyship” was kind enough to offer “a sorrowful widow” like her a job. I’m not sure but I think she meant she works for Kyuhyun’s wife now.

She gave me a tour of the building before leading me to my office and left a list with my tasks for me to study. The House of Parliament is completely different from what I was expecting. Staying true to its original Victorian style, the interior is decorated with marble and granite in the tones of gray, black and white. The ceilings are at least two-story high and large, heavy, gold chandeliers hang from them. When you first enter the building you find yourself at the Main Hall. From there start three hallways, one going to the Parliamentary Library at the back of the building, the other to the east wing, where the Senate is and the other to the west wing, where one can find the House of Commons and Kyuhyun’s office. Of course there are also several other rooms in the building but I was not allowed in any of them.

While I was going through the notes I was given I got a call informing me that Kyuhyun and his bodyguard had just arrived. I skimmed through the notes quickly and found out that I was supposed to wait for them in front of the office's door.

When Kyuhyun entered he greeted me very friendly. His bodyguard wasn’t so happy to see me though. Yuri’s younger sister had apparently heard from her that Kyuhyun has a soft spot for me and she made sure I understood from the very beginning that she didn’t like me.

“My dear Yoona, stop glaring at the poor girl, you might scare her away.” Kyuhyun scolded her playfully while removing his jacket and sunglasses.

“And we wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Yoona answered in a cold voice.

Kyuhyun just laughed at her and informed me that Yoona was Yuri’s sister, even though I already knew – everybody knows.

“How, lovely” Yoona said sarcastically “now she only has to meet Seohyun and she can join the family.”

Kyuhyun wasn’t bothered by her words and if he was he didn’t show it. He asked Yoona if she wanted anything to eat or drink but she refused telling him that she had to return to the Squad to help her older sister. I think she just didn’t want to be in the say room with me.

Kyuhyun winked at me and asked me for coffee. Of course, like I had read in the notes, I had already prepared it and I served him as soon as he was sitting behind his desk. He seemed satisfied.

Kyuhyun is quite the busy person. His schedule is packed and he doesn’t have any openings for two months. Jessica is also busy but this is just ridiculous, he didn’t even have time for lunch today. And that means I didn’t have any lunch either.

But I won’t complain. I won’t complain because I need the money and because surprisingly, Kyuhyun is a decent enough boss. He told me I could leave early today since I missed my break and it was my first day. He and I don’t see eye to eye (even though he doesn’t know it) but he treats people around him pretty well. I still don't like him but I guess it goes to show that nobody can be completely evil.